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Tragic Heroine - Chapter 9

Published at 10th of March 2023 05:22:45 AM


Chapter 9

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Days passed since then, and life in the palace seemed to go back to normal, with the exception of more frequent guard shifts and tighter magical defenses.

Griselda’s Solar Armageddon was successful in vanquishing the darkspawn, but turned Christiana’s bedroom into a landscape of ashes and cinders in the process. Fortunately, living in the royal palace came with many conveniences, and the maids quickly prepared a replacement. The new room had more features compared to the last one, complete with a soft rug formed from the fur of some large animal, a large canopy bed in the corner, and a balcony that promised fresh air and a dazzling view of the palace gardens, along with other small details.

It was a room fit for honorable and regal royalty. At the moment, however, its sole resident, the man in the body of a blue haired princess, was slovenly luxuriating on the rug and killing time.

Larry had panicked when he realized he had abruptly lost consciousness in the middle of the assimilation process that he was supposed to stay awake for, thinking that there would be unintended consequences. However, after a careful few days of self observation and experimentation, he didn’t seem to find any noticeable changes in his mental state.

Furthermore, after sorting through all the archived memories that he now had access to, he breathed a sigh of relief after finding that he could experience most of Christiana’s memories as if they were cinematic replays. As for the reason why he was so joyful at the fact, it need only be stated with one word.

Tests.

Much of The Guardian Knight’s Saga was set in Aesir Academy, a highly selective institution that raised the brightest minds on the continent. It was only natural that applicants to the school went through a grueling set of entrance examinations. When they were admitted, they won the privilege and honor of getting to go through countless other trials in order to stay enrolled and ahead of their peers. It was ironic that both in this fantasy world and Earth, academics remained the mortal enemy of every adolescent boy and girl.

As a failing college student in his previous life, Larry understood that the ultimate cheat sometimes wasn’t raw strength that allowed a protagonist to dominate their foes, but the forbidden knowledge gained through actual cheating. It was for this reason that he considered Christiana’s memories up until her untimely death at age 16 to be the ultimate gift from the gods. He took over her body at a time from before she actually enrolled in Aesir, meaning that he could simply browse her memories to find the answers he needed for each test. Even better, this further meant that for the next three years, he only had to do minimal studying in all the subjects Christiana was previously proficient in.

Truly, the System is a heaven-sent blessing. 

But that wasn’t the only thing to look forward to. His thoughts drifted towards the mysterious energy that surged within him when he stood to help Griselda. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced. The feeling of unbridled power coursing through his veins, and the rush of adrenaline and freedom that came with it were still ingrained in his mind and body. When he asked the System what it was, it gave an unexpected answer.

[This System theorizes that merging with a soul fragment of Christiana Lapis Lorien dramatically enhanced the potency of the host’s own astral spiritual body past the threshold needed to generate mana independently.]

A smile bloomed on Larry’s face as he realized the implications behind those words.

Humans of Irudeia weren’t born with the power to wield magic. Their souls were too weak to naturally produce mana. They instead gained access to those abilities after they contracted a powerful partner in their Bestowals. Even then, they were only able to freely manipulate their bonded spirit’s mana in battle, and make limited use of that mana to assist in daily life and to make simple magic tools and formations.

Even bloodlines only acted as passive buffs on a person’s overall magical output once they formed a contract. It was unheard of for them to actually give their owners the blessings of mana without the aid of a more powerful spiritual being. 

Yes, this was a trait that set him apart from even members of the novel’s main cast, who were already unique individuals, and it held the potential to make him vastly stronger. The System added on to the celebration with its own brand of encouragement, which meant not reading the mood and carelessly dumping cold water on him. 

[However, as the host's body has not adapted towards heavy mana usage and as they have not yet contracted a spirit, over usage of magic will place a substantial burden on their physical body.] 

His smile became flipped upside down. Why was everything in this world so intent on razing his very existence? Even the things that were supposed to be helpful for him were instead just bombs that threatened to go off at the slightest nudge.

“Is there seriously no other way for me to grow stronger? Give me a real cheat already, damn it…” Larry helplessly muttered to himself.

[There are many paths to power. Not all of them are as easy to tread as others, and not all end with the same result.]

“Are you a philosopher?” Larry grew speechless at the System’s sass after it overheard his mindless words. He had a strong feeling that whatever being sent him here was thoroughly looking forward to seeing him struggle for his life.

[If the host desires to enhance their body’s ability to channel and manipulate mana, there is a way.]

“Really? Please tell me.” He had to get into the first training arc right away or else who knew how unprepared he would be for the overpowered enemies that would show up and snatch his life away. The darkspawn incident was already a grim reminder of that.

[The best way for the host to fortify themselves is to make sure they acquire the right amount of daily sleep, and maintain a balanced diet and a healthy exercise routine to build their growing body.]

He was speechless.

“Hey, it’s not like I’m a kid in puberty you know?” Larry grumbled. He then looked back down at his body which had yet to even reach its first growth spurt. “Actually, nevermind.”

In perfect timing, his stomach rumbled in reminder that he had yet to eat anything since waking up today; it was now halfway past noon. Larry quickly grew embarrassed after realizing that he had missed breakfast with Christiana’s family. For the past several days as well, he had been isolating himself not just in order to explore the changes to his mind, but to binge read from an already sizable backlog of novels he found from raking through the library. It seemed his bad habits from living as a wreck on Earth didn’t change even now.

Figuring out how to use his mana would be a problem for later. Larry began making his way towards the dining room with his new knowledge of the palace’s interior. Hopefully he made it in time for lunch. 

 

In contrast to his first time eating with Christiana’s family, the room he entered now seemed to be framed in the image of despair. A dark and gloomy aura dampened the atmosphere, and every person in the room was staring straight at their plates and methodically scraping at their food. Larry spotted Elenoa, who usually brightly welcomed him at the start of each meal, wearing a dark expression as he entered. When she noticed his arrival, she forced a strained smile onto her face in greeting.

“Christiana, good to see you. Please take a seat.” Her voice sounded fatigued and weary, all the youthful exuberance gone and replaced with a tired sadness that tugged at the heartstrings of those who looked at her.

It wasn’t just Elenoa. Edward, who used to devour his food with gusto, was absentmindedly poking at his plate, and James, who used to have several documents and newspapers with him at all times to browse through, had his head clutched in his hands like a broken man on his last legs of life. Lysander has darkened circles under his eyes and looked significantly more pallid than normal.  

Larry gulped. What has happened since he last saw them? All of a sudden he was feeling less enthusiastic about this meal. He sat down and started digging in, but his appetite was quickly waning. His better instinct told him not to pry, but he still timidly asked a question that was on his mind.

“Um… is there something wrong?”

“There’s nothing wrong, dear. Please eat more, you’re a growing girl after all.” Elenoa quickly said to reassure him. Unfortunately for her, he wasn’t born yesterday. There was definitely something up.

His suspicious gaze surveyed everyone else in the room, but Lysander quickly averted his eyes and Edward just entered his own little world. His only clue came from James, who was muttering random phrases to himself like a madman. Straining his ears to listen, he caught a few key phrases.

“...we didn’t see any residual mana, so it couldn’t have been through the usage of a magic tool… the maid’s description of those things… have to consult more papers…”

Larry didn’t see himself as a particularly smart person in his last life, but even he could make an educated guess with enough information. He knew he probably shouldn’t get involved with this, but through some failure to control his impulse he blurted out a question against his better judgement.

“Is this about how I was attacked by darkspawn a few days ago?”

He instantly regretted letting those words escape his mouth when the air temperature suddenly seemed to drop several degrees at once and everyone in the room froze in an instant. 

Elenoa looked concerned, and both Lysander and Edward awkwardly fidgeted, but it was James who immediately responded with a question of his own.

“Darkspawn? Is that what those things are called? Intriguing. Christiana, how did you find out this information?” His eyes were bloodshot and frantic, like a gambler who had seen a glimpse of hope. 

Shit! I screwed up. This isn’t something that normal people would know.

“Uhhm, I saw the term from a fantasy book I read and I thought it was a fitting name.” He quickly thought up an excuse to cover his tracks, but that only seemed to make things worse.

“Fascinating… but it’s true that some works of fiction are inspired by true events. Christiana, please tell me the name of that book and where you found it.”

Shit! Just get off my case already damn it.  

“...It’s been some time since I last read it, so I don’t really remember it’s title. I think I put it somewhere in the library, but it seems I forgot where it was. I’m sorry.” 

Please believe me please believe me please believe me please believe me.

“Ah! No, my apologies for being too enthusiastic. And it’s fine. I guess it can’t be helped.” The boy in question turned crestfallen, and Larry started feeling bad for blatantly lying to him. But he still remained skeptical about why exactly everyone else in the room also looked just as despondent.

“Tell me, please. What’s really going on here?” An awkward silence pervaded the air. No one budged or made the slightest sound. Amidst this palpable tension, Edward politely coughed to get everyone’s attention.

“I don’t see any reason to keep this from her, she has every right to know more, and hiding this information certainly won’t make her any safer.” 

“You see, sister…” Turning towards Larry, Edward began his explanation.

After Larry had been attacked, the whole palace gradually fell into chaos. He and Lysander mobilized the palace guards as well as the first knight order belonging to the royal family to patrol the area for any other signs of infiltration. They exhausted themselves trying to keep the peace among alarmed servants. They spent monumental amounts of effort over the next few days trying to cover up the incident and make sure news of it didn’t reach the outside world. A breakin to the Lorien kingdom’s royal palace wasn’t a small matter, after all. 

James and Elenoa launched their own investigation to find out why a large group of unidentified monsters managed to avoid alerting the palace guards and magic wards to their intrusion. Despite this, neither of them were able to gather any leads or evidence, even with all the resources of the royal family available to them. Neither information on the instigators nor their motives were ever unearthed. It was as if the night’s events had all been a bad dream.

But the reality was that the perpetrators were still on the loose, and presented a very real danger.

“Still, Christiana, it’s better that you don’t get involved in this. Just leave everything to us. We will make sure you stay safe no matter what.” Lysander tried to give reassurement, but there was no confidence in his voice.

It wasn’t just him, everyone else seemed just as tired and anxious, as if in just the past several days their bodies incurred several months worth of weariness. They exuded an aura of hopelessness.

So that’s why I haven’t been seeing them around as much.

How strange, what is this feeling? 

“Well, alright. If you guys say so. I’m already pretty full, so I’ll be leaving.” Larry forced a polite smile on his face and made an excuse to quickly leave. 

He felt sick to his stomach.

 

A short while after Christina left, both Edward and James excused themselves to conduct further investigation with the one lead they now had, a name to the creatures that attacked their sister. Once the dining room's doors closed behind their departing figures, Elenoa faced Lysander with a worry stricken mien.

“Dear, do you think that what we’re doing is right? Surely she will find fault in us for isolating her like this.”

The man in question grit his teeth, sporting a troubled face unbefitting of the King of Lorien.

“Didn’t you notice? She was stuck in her room for the past few days. Those monsters must have done something to her, and she had to suffer all alone with a broken mind. The least we could do as her family is to keep her safe and make sure such a thing doesn’t happen again.”

“Yes, but surely excluding her like this isn’t- ”

“I know that. It’s just… I don’t know if I even have the right to face her at this point. To make her relive those painful memories just for some silly investigation.”

Elenoa sighed at her foolish husband’s stubbornness. It was endearing at times; she fell in love with him for a reason after all. But in certain cases, such as now, she just wanted to give the man a good smack on the head with her sword to knock some sense into him.

Still, she wasn’t without fault in this situation either. The edges of her lips twisted upwards into a self deprecating smile. 

“I used to wish that I could just keep her here in this palace, where she can live with us and be safe and cared for. I just wanted her to remain a normal, happy, and innocent girl.”

My precious daughter. The treasure of my life.

“But I guess that future is no longer possible.” She remembered the frightened look on Christiana’s face as she faced those monsters from the abyss. It was a painful memory that would never disappear. 

I’m sorry for not being there to protect you. Everyday now I struggle to think of what would have happened if Griselda hadn’t arrived when she did.

Which mother wouldn’t want to protect her children from the world’s dangers? To see them grow up happily and smile joyfully? But Christiana had almost lost her life in the place that should have been the safest place in the world to her. There was no telling what kind of mental damage such a young child would have received from that.

She blamed herself for arriving too late to prevent it from happening. For almost losing her daughter due to a moment’s carelessness.

“I’m sorry, Christiana. Your useless mother wasn’t there when you needed her most. I’m sorry that you have to bear this burden.” Elenoa’s voice was heart wrenchingly sorrowful. Her hands clenched into trembling fists at her own helplessness.

Lysander felt his heart ache at his wife’s fragile state. He didn’t wish for her to blame herself. After all, nobody could have expected for there to be such an attack on the royal palace at that hour. None of them were prepared for it. It was a miracle that Griselda arrived as fast as she did, and it was a testament to Elenoa’s own abilities and vigilance that she noticed the maid’s unnatural mana in the air and acted faster than any other guard or knight. 

But he couldn’t find any words to comfort her with, and he couldn’t find it within himself to respond to her. Who was he to say anything when he was guilty of not even noticing that anything was wrong until he beheld the sight of a maid carrying his daughter's limp and unconscious body?

He just placed gentle hands on his wife’s shoulders, providing her with his support as he’d always done.

 

In a section of the palace gardens, away from vibrantly colored flowers and the grooming of gardeners, a girl sat in front of a large and ancient tree. It’s stalwart trunk spanned more than a meter in diameter, and its height towered above all else in the vicinity. 

This was a special place.

Whenever Christiana wanted to take shelter from the world, this was where she went to forget her pain. Looking up, its branches, adorned with many leaves that gently rustled about, were hypnotic in their cadence. Larry wanted to stare at them all day, to lose himself in the monotony. He wanted to lay there, feel the soft caress of grass and earth under his body, take in the scent of wind and freedom, and fall asleep to the sounds of nature. Focusing on these things helped calm down his rampaging emotions. He leaned on the tree’s rough bark, still holding onto life after countless seasonal cycles, a symbol of rebirth and persistence.   

Thinking of how Lysander, Elenoa, Edward and James had all reacted after he was exposed to danger, indescribable feelings welled up in his chest. 

When he saw them working so hard to protect him, Larry couldn’t help but feel a swell of something in his heart. It was a dense stream of emotion that came from within the pit of his soul, but he couldn’t put a name to it. Was he experiencing gratitude? Appreciation? No, one word wasn’t enough to describe this feeling.

It was strangely nostalgic, like a fragment of his long forgotten past. It was warm and welcoming, like a bonfire one stood near to take shelter from the cold. It was addictive sunshine, and he wanted to bask in more of it.

But looking at their wretched states and their efforts to push him away made other emotions quickly overshadow the first. These he immediately recognized, for they were lifelong companions back in his life on Earth. 

Self loathing and… regret. They were both his and Christiana’s demons.  He was helpless to lift them out of their misery. His heart ached in a way that he had long since forgotten. He felt confused, irritated and scared at the same time. The irrationality of it all was unbearable. 

“Whoever you were before, that person does not exist here.” He muttered. The melancholy of their sudden parting still left him bitter. It was all too sudden, and since the night of his assimilation he hadn’t been in a dream with her ever again. But her last words to him remained branded in his mind. As long as he continued to live as “Larry”, the man sent to this world against his will, then he wouldn’t be able to truly live. He would be wasting his second chance in life dwelling on a pointless past that no longer mattered.

Yes, the traumas of his past would remain with him. But that didn’t mean he should ignore his ability to live in the present. He would accept his new place in this world, and embrace the affection of a new family. Their love was all too foolish and burdensome, to the point of confusing him at times. But it was genuine. What did it matter if it wasn’t directed at “Larry”? He wasn’t him anymore!

“That’s right… I was thinking about this the wrong way all this time.”

The person known to the world as “Larry Chrysler” was gone. He vanished from the face of the Earth, with nobody any wiser to his disappearance. 

But he didn’t just want to be a replacement for Christiana, who struggled all her life to gain strength and a noble purpose, only to lose it all with her death. He couldn’t imagine how heartbroken her family would have been in the novel when they saw her cold, broken body after she made her last stand. Somehow, thinking of it made his heart clench. 

But things were different this time. He wasn’t her. He had knowledge of the dangers and horrors that lay ahead of him. He had a powerful trait that few, if any, had in the world. He was given a second chance to live in the world of his favorite novel. 

He stood up. His resolve was set. There was only one last thing to do. 

He wanted to use this opportunity, to start anew, to embrace a new life.He wanted to reassure her soul, wherever she was, that he would live on and remember her. He wanted to leave a mark, of a girl who no longer existed in this world, whose death and life only he remembered. This was the best way to send her off, and truly begin his --no, her--  life anew.

“My name…”

She was no longer just a failing college student, or the tragic heroine of a novel. She was both of them, but wasn’t any one of them. She carried on all their regrets, fears, and demons. But she championed all their hopes and dreams: to live proudly, and experience life’s joys and sorrows to the fullest. 

Responding to her Will, the dormant mana in her soul ignited, lighting her eyes in a bright blue-green glow.

Turning to the heavens that birthed her in this world of Irudeia, the girl declared in a firm voice that caused the air itself to shudder. 

 

“My name is Chris! Look out, world! My life begins now!” 

 

 

Yarny So this is a long ass chapter that I, ngl, wrote in between studying for several exams over the course of 2 weeks. Might be a bit rough around the edges. But nothing that a little editing (in God knows how long) wouldn't solve.

After 4 chapters straight of exposition and self-searching, the mc now starts fresh! And the genderbender tag is now justified! In hindsight, I could have probably handled this better, but you can rest assured that her story begins for real now. If you guys have any thoughts, please list them in the comments. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.





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