Year 108
The important equation is how much demonic sludge we can process, versus how much demonic sludge is expanding in the area. As long as my processing rate is higher than the sludge, we’re taking back territory from the hybrid demons.
We’re doing so, very very carefully.
Because well, we lost a few people when some of the demonic monsters exploded. The forest of demon trees have a few types, and these demontrees actually feed and help sustain the firestorm, because we’ve discovered some of them spit out some kind of flammable gas, that gets ignited super easily. Another kind of tree is just perpetually smoking, and it constantly released dark smoke like an ancient superpolluting smokestack. The smoke-trees create so much smoke that it creates a perpetual layer of dark smog that hangs over the entire area, and causes the lack of sunlight.
The exploding gas trees added to the mess, and created areas where these gas might just suddenly ignite and blow up, and yet those trees are quite resistant to the effects of the explosion.
Not a pleasant environment to be in.
So, slow and steady. Thanks to the microclimate generated by these kinds of demonic trees, the weather is perpetually hot and stormy. The effects of the seasons was subdued.
We reclaimed the area immediately around our valley and the hole, mostly by me pushing back at the sludge. It’s a long process, one week I could clear and clean the area the size of a football field, but the speed slows the further away it is, because a larger area means an increase in the overall root surface area with the demonic sludge, so it takes up more of my demonic sludge processing ability.
In order for the expansion to continue, it is paramount. Crucial. That the giant attendant trees are able to add to the demonic sludge processing capacity.
Else, the rate of expansion will stop the moment once I hit the sludge processing limit. Unless my roots get stronger.
It’s just the math of the matter.
-
During this time, the survivors also brought back a lot more of the demon tree specimens back to me. It’s a slow process, and my ability to assist is limited because the demonic sludge essentially blocked my roots from interfering. I have to reclaim the territory from the demons for my abilities to work in that area.
It’s quite difficult to bring the specimens back, of course. They are after all spawned of demonic matter and the survivors abhorred the idea initially. But I just convinced a few of them to play a part, and that’s all I needed. The survivors are not all uniform, some are more cooperative than the others.
I studied them like an obsessed scientist.
I wanted to know everything about them, and I wished I had a soul forge to look at them in far greater detail. For now, I will have to make do with analysing them with my [biolab], and hope to understand these demonic plants.
Firstly, like the demonic hound, it’s inner structure is dry. And instead of a spring, there is a barren one. When I look at the structure of the plant specimens, it has odd flames throughout the entire space. Every now and then, there would be flares.
How does it get the skill? Is that like some kind of basic racial or species ability, if it doesn’t have a soulspring and the stones that signify the skills around it?
Clearly, this exposed one flaw of my understanding of the soul system. Sure, if you gain levels, the skills you gained are around the soul spring. But for these demons, they don’t seem to be gaining levels, and they also don’t seem to have a soul. They resembled automatons, machines, and yet they are not.
So, where are the skills? Or is it something elsewhere. Or if they are some extraterrestrials like the earth heroes, then they must have a mind somewhere that helps them to do things. Or is it biological, in the sense that their abilities are not born out of skill, but out of their physical design?
Again, the flaw of my understanding is quite obvious. My [biolab] allowed me to look at their inner structure, if they have one. This worked well with the natives of this world, since they have souls. But with demons, they don’t seem to have one, and using this [biolab] to examine them, in hindsight, is clearly an incomplete picture of the whole story.
But!
I do know that when I flooded their bodies with my mana, like with the demon walker, and prior to that, with the hellhounds and Alexis, I was able to take control of them. So, it’s either this ‘soul’ thing existed as a higher-order control system, and the demon’s base structure is on a lower tier... or something. Which I don’t know what.
I need a living specimen.
These dead demonic trees are not good enough.
But the survivors are not able to capture a demon while alive. They do not have the strength to do so, and its too high risk for them.
"You could dig and reclaim the area around a demon tree and then uh, capture it that way?" Lausanne suggested. In short, encircle-and-siege.
Which is exactly what I did. Over 20 years these demon trees have massively proliferated and they occupy huge chunks of the terrain. And it wasn't hard to find many of these demontrees near our valley.
It took a bit of time, but essentially I would go around the target, and then once I trapped it, I would spawn a [giant attendant tree] next to it, and pull the targeted demontree into the [biolab] inside my tree.
And soon I had live specimens in my labs.
-
The survivors have been trying to message any nearby civilisations, but they had no idea who survived, so all their messages so far bounced. They wanted to try cities that are further away too, but those weren’t getting anywhere thanks to the interference from the demonic sludge. The survivors were in a meeting.
“We know which direction the demon king came from.” One survivor presented, and he pointed. “So, logically, if we head the other direction we will eventually find lands untouched by the corruption. I don’t believe the demon king destroyed the entire world.”
“Why not? We don’t know whether anything survived!”
Of course, I do. 5 heroes survived that demon king, and went on to beat the next 2 demon kings too! Surely there are survivors.
“Still, I propose a squad of us go on an expedition.”
“We can’t even get far without losing people, and you want an expedition?”
“Yes! I’m pretty sure we’re not at the center of things, so we must be closer to the edge. And beyond the edge must be normalcy! Don’t you all want that?”
“Hmm... that’s true.” Lausanne nodded. “I agree with it.”
Jura shook his head. “I prefer we play it safe, ask Aeon to clear a path for us towards that direction.”
“It’ll take too long.” Lausanne said. And some of the other survivors agreed. “We need to get in touch with civilisation as fast as we can. If it’s up to Aeon, it’ll be years before we get there. You know it’s true, Uncle.”
“But it is safe. Think about it, you want to face all the monsters out there? We’ve seen so many.”
“We’ve faced them before.” A survivor said. He too was one of the capped out fighters. Level 75. “And we’re high level, we can survive this.”
“Have you guys actually thought this through? Where are you going to live? What are you going to eat? The terrain is not what it was.”
“Better than being trapped in here for the past 20 years, Jura. Some of us have decided we want to see civilisation again. It’s worth a shot.”
Jura frowned.
Lausanne agreed with that group. “Uncle. He’s right. We can’t stay here forever, and fact is, we need to rebuild the lines of communication. Get help. Find some people who’d be able to get us out of this mess. The town is no more, and the people deserve better.”
“At what risk? You can’t protect all of them.”
“But staying here as it is isn’t a way to live. We’ve been here for decades!”
“Aeon’s getting there.”
“Aeon’s going to take forever.” A survivor said. “No disrespect, but Aeon works on different timescales. We’d be having kids before we are out of this place. It’s been more than 2 years since Aeon woke up and we’re still just clearing up the surrounding area.”
“We’re making slow, defensible progress. We can protect this place.”
“It’s too slow. 2 years, Jura. For some of the centaurs and dwarves, it’s a big chunk of their lives. I know it means less to the elves. But they’ve already spent 20 years here, and another 2 years since. Let us go.”
Jura frowned. This was a common issue, in the fact that people of different life expectancies had different perceptions of the value of time. Like, 2 years for an elf that could live to 500 to 800 years is different from a centaur or dwarf that usually lived up to 150 to 200.
Jura wasn’t too happy, but the survivors were split. Those too afraid to take the risk and are willing to stay here, and those who believe it’s worth a shot. To get back their normal lives by making a trek across the hostile terrain, with their warriors protecting them. So, Jura walked away.
“A small group is easier to protect. We have enough preserved food and our familiars can continue to produce fruits.” One of the survivors said.
Lausanne nodded. She asked for some beetles to accompany them, but the demonic sludge’s interference meant their operating range was limited. Go further and they’ll just shut down.
A day after they had that discussion, Lausanne came and talked to me.
“Aeon.”
“Yes?” I was still studying the demonic trees at that time.
“I’m going to leave the valley.”
“I know.” I was still processing the matter. I didn’t know how to react. I mean, I just woke up. Okay, just is relative, because to me, it felt like I just woke up, but the survivors have a point, it is 2 years for them. 2 wasted years, in a way. For 2 years, the world zoomed past them, and I can see why they want to rejoin society again.
“Are you... mad, Aeon?” She asked.
“You used to call me... TreeTree.” I’m not sure what made me say that.
“Ah... I’m already 39, Aeon.” She looked a bit embarrassed. “It’s... been a long time.”
For me, I felt awkward. In my mind, she’s still a child. I felt like it was yesterday that I saw her as a teenager, and now, at 39, she’s pretty much an elven adult. I can’t accept that. No, I must accept that. People change. Everyone changes. It’s foolish of me to expect anyone to stay the same for years, or what more decades.
“We’re always here, master.” Trevor added. “We have gained levels, but we are the same.” Well, except them. And my fellow trees, who are as eternal as I am.
“Well, this was something I’ve been hoping to do, and I’ve waited years for it.” She said. “Remember when I used to say I wanted to visit the other spirits.”
Ah, yes. It was just yesterday for me. Really.
“Well, I don’t want it anymore.”
“Huh?
“I had so many years to think about stuff.” Lausanne went. This was... nostalgic. I recall my earlier days in Freeka, when it was a small village, when the elves used to always sit down next to me and talk about their affairs. About how they felt, about life in general. How Casshern used to make comments about the younger elves, or even Laufen then, about her worries of childbirth
Lausanne paused a moment, she was in my secret hideout, the place that was once her old room. Nothing changed in the room, but she has. She touched the things that she once used.
“22 years, Aeon. In that long period of time, I felt broken. I felt robbed of my opportunity to travel the world. I was angry, Aeon. Angry. So mad that the world did this, that our world, this stupid stupid world, would be so self-destructive. That demons constantly came for us, and for what? We don’t even know why we are here, serving as fodders and decorations for the heroes and demons’ eternal conflict. It didn’t make sense.”
“It doesn’t.”
“But, there wasn’t much I could do about the demons and heroes. Not with my powers. So after my anger, I grieved for my lost time. I felt sad. I felt lost. I wondered what the purpose of living was, Aeon. Have you ever felt like that? Wondering why do you even exist in the world, like... why was I born into this world? I wanted reason, I wanted to know. I wanted to see a bigger picture.”
Well... honestly, for me, it’s an accident. One that I accepted quite willingly, which is extremely strange in hindsight. How did I accept it so easily?
“Maybe it’s different for you, because you’re this great tree spirit that’s always been here. But for me, I felt lost. I have this... power. Your gift. But why? Why did the fates conspire for me to receive such gifts and power? And yet, it’s insufficient in the face of such great evils. So, I wallowed in that misery for a few years, every day just fighting the damned demonic monsters that came for our lives.”
Okay...
“But I eventually moved past that grief, and into acceptance. I’ve accepted that I’ve lost 22 years being here in the valley. So I spent time just honing my skills. Even if our levels are capped out, it’s still possible to upgrade our skills to be stronger versions. And then, now my goal is different. I just want to see the world, and appreciate what’s out there. I mean... I’ve accepted that I’m not a hero.”
What. Okay, how is that related.
“Surviving this disaster, then hitting my level cap. I realised that I wasn’t meant to be a hero, and that well, life’s not that great. You know, before this whole thing, I used to think I was special. I mean, mom told me I was special, and everyone treated me like I was special because I had your special powers, and I even believed I was special. But I’ve come to accept that I am not that special. Special, but not much.”
“Well, that’s not a bad place to be.”
“Yeah. It isn’t. I wanted more at a point, but I believe it’s not really what I actually want. So... Aeon. Uhm, TreeTree. I will leave with the group that wants to make the journey. I had to have this conversation with you, because I recalled how well you treated me, and all these special powers and blessings you’ve given me. I’m leaving, and I want to thank you.”
Huh.
“Thank you, Aeon. For all you’ve done for me so far. But it is time I go out there, and find my own place in the world. It may not be much, but I’d like to think I’m like a bird. Finally freed of this cage, I should try to fly away. Maybe I might return, or maybe I may just drop by, but I have to take this chance.”
I felt... betrayed. And yet I felt that feeling of betrayal was wrong. I am a tree, and it is normal that animals occasionally stop by, and maybe in the larger scheme of things, everyone’s just a transient contact for the tree.
She waited.
I didn’t know how to feel. Is this reality for a tree?
It didn’t feel that long ago that I thought she was going to be loyal to me! This is betrayal! BETRAYAL!
Or is it? I mean, why do I feel like I own her? I don’t. Even if I helped her, and watched her grow up, does that mean I own her? Am I like a parent that watched a child grow up and now that the child has grown up, the parent refused to let go? Am I like that?
But if I lose even her, then who can I trust?
I felt frustrated. And it was then some quotes from my human days came.
If you love someone, set them free.
So corny, and yet something tells me this is the truth. Strange. I have trust issues, clearly. Is that why my relationships as Matt failed? How do I trust her?
“Aeon?” She asked. I think she waited for half an hour already.
I inwardly sighed. I shouldn’t be like this. Is this me being upset and possessive? I’m a freaking tree damned it. Shouldn’t I be more magnanimous? What would Treebeard do? What would Grandmother Willow do?
“Ah. Go, Lausanne. It is fine.”
Even though I said those words, I felt difficult. I didn’t quite accept that time moved so slowly for the rest of them, and so quickly for me. It’s strange and uncomfortable to think others have far different expectations of the world and their life, and that I can’t expect loyalty from them. At least, not on a longer term.
Is this why Lilies is a lot more ‘big-picture’ about things? They aren’t attached to individuals, and maybe because it's like that whole elf thing in Lord of The Rings, we are doomed to watch those we love grow old and die before us? Is this our fate for living so long?
“Are you sure, Aeon?” Lausanne asked.
No, I’m not sure. Why can’t I let go? I don’t own her! I’m not even her parents, but then, I have showered her with powers and care. Is it because my investment, my sunk cost, that I care that now she’s pulling away? If so, I should’ve seen it coming.
So I decided to speak to Laufen, her mom. Twenty years have passed, but she aged only slightly.
“Lausanne is finally leaving.”
“Yes, Aeon. It’s something I’ve always expected to happen. I remember they used to say, that young adult elves have a calling to see the world, to see more of it. It’s something they must do to get out of their system. I remember I used to do it, then I met Ricola and settled down.”
Oh. An elven thing. Is it like humans back home, where parents kick their children out once they turn 21?
“I hear human adults have that too, though like us, it is stronger in some than the rest.”
“And you are not sad or worried, or well, disappointed?”
“Children must grow up, and Lausanne has been talking of this day for many years. Trapped in this valley for so long, it is quite a waste for her. Besides, how would she find a mate if she doesn’t visit the other elven cities! I’m sure I’ll still be worried sick, though.”
Trapped? But they are here with me! Okay, that’s a fairly selfish and ignorant statement. I’m a tree. I’m a freaking 100 year old tree. I should act like one.
Lausanne was still in her room. I decided to just calm myself down, and well, do some breathing exercise. For a tree, that meant actually taking in the air and well, making oxygen, I suppose. I have to let her go, or do I force her to stay?
“Would you ever consider staying?”
Lausanne paused, well, very briefly. “Maybe after I’m done?”
Year 108
The important equation is how much demonic sludge we can process, versus how much demonic sludge is expanding in the area. As long as my processing rate is higher than the sludge, we’re taking back territory from the hybrid demons.
We’re doing so, very very carefully.
Because well, we lost a few people when some of the demonic monsters exploded. The forest of demon trees have a few types, and these demontrees actually feed and help sustain the firestorm, because we’ve discovered some of them spit out some kind of flammable gas, that gets ignited super easily. Another kind of tree is just perpetually smoking, and it constantly released dark smoke like an ancient superpolluting smokestack. The smoke-trees create so much smoke that it creates a perpetual layer of dark smog that hangs over the entire area, and causes the lack of sunlight.
The exploding gas trees added to the mess, and created areas where these gas might just suddenly ignite and blow up, and yet those trees are quite resistant to the effects of the explosion.
Not a pleasant environment to be in.
So, slow and steady. Thanks to the microclimate generated by these kinds of demonic trees, the weather is perpetually hot and stormy. The effects of the seasons was subdued.
We reclaimed the area immediately around our valley and the hole, mostly by me pushing back at the sludge. It’s a long process, one week I could clear and clean the area the size of a football field, but the speed slows the further away it is, because a larger area means an increase in the overall root surface area with the demonic sludge, so it takes up more of my demonic sludge processing ability.
In order for the expansion to continue, it is paramount. Crucial. That the giant attendant trees are able to add to the demonic sludge processing capacity.
Else, the rate of expansion will stop the moment once I hit the sludge processing limit. Unless my roots get stronger.
It’s just the math of the matter.
-
During this time, the survivors also brought back a lot more of the demon tree specimens back to me. It’s a slow process, and my ability to assist is limited because the demonic sludge essentially blocked my roots from interfering. I have to reclaim the territory from the demons for my abilities to work in that area.
It’s quite difficult to bring the specimens back, of course. They are after all spawned of demonic matter and the survivors abhorred the idea initially. But I just convinced a few of them to play a part, and that’s all I needed. The survivors are not all uniform, some are more cooperative than the others.
I studied them like an obsessed scientist.
I wanted to know everything about them, and I wished I had a soul forge to look at them in far greater detail. For now, I will have to make do with analysing them with my [biolab], and hope to understand these demonic plants.
Firstly, like the demonic hound, it’s inner structure is dry. And instead of a spring, there is a barren one. When I look at the structure of the plant specimens, it has odd flames throughout the entire space. Every now and then, there would be flares.
How does it get the skill? Is that like some kind of basic racial or species ability, if it doesn’t have a soulspring and the stones that signify the skills around it?
Clearly, this exposed one flaw of my understanding of the soul system. Sure, if you gain levels, the skills you gained are around the soul spring. But for these demons, they don’t seem to be gaining levels, and they also don’t seem to have a soul. They resembled automatons, machines, and yet they are not.
So, where are the skills? Or is it something elsewhere. Or if they are some extraterrestrials like the earth heroes, then they must have a mind somewhere that helps them to do things. Or is it biological, in the sense that their abilities are not born out of skill, but out of their physical design?
Again, the flaw of my understanding is quite obvious. My [biolab] allowed me to look at their inner structure, if they have one. This worked well with the natives of this world, since they have souls. But with demons, they don’t seem to have one, and using this [biolab] to examine them, in hindsight, is clearly an incomplete picture of the whole story.
But!
I do know that when I flooded their bodies with my mana, like with the demon walker, and prior to that, with the hellhounds and Alexis, I was able to take control of them. So, it’s either this ‘soul’ thing existed as a higher-order control system, and the demon’s base structure is on a lower tier... or something. Which I don’t know what.
I need a living specimen.
These dead demonic trees are not good enough.
But the survivors are not able to capture a demon while alive. They do not have the strength to do so, and its too high risk for them.
"You could dig and reclaim the area around a demon tree and then uh, capture it that way?" Lausanne suggested. In short, encircle-and-siege.
Which is exactly what I did. Over 20 years these demon trees have massively proliferated and they occupy huge chunks of the terrain. And it wasn't hard to find many of these demontrees near our valley.
It took a bit of time, but essentially I would go around the target, and then once I trapped it, I would spawn a [giant attendant tree] next to it, and pull the targeted demontree into the [biolab] inside my tree.
And soon I had live specimens in my labs.
-
The survivors have been trying to message any nearby civilisations, but they had no idea who survived, so all their messages so far bounced. They wanted to try cities that are further away too, but those weren’t getting anywhere thanks to the interference from the demonic sludge. The survivors were in a meeting.
“We know which direction the demon king came from.” One survivor presented, and he pointed. “So, logically, if we head the other direction we will eventually find lands untouched by the corruption. I don’t believe the demon king destroyed the entire world.”
“Why not? We don’t know whether anything survived!”
Of course, I do. 5 heroes survived that demon king, and went on to beat the next 2 demon kings too! Surely there are survivors.
“Still, I propose a squad of us go on an expedition.”
“We can’t even get far without losing people, and you want an expedition?”
“Yes! I’m pretty sure we’re not at the center of things, so we must be closer to the edge. And beyond the edge must be normalcy! Don’t you all want that?”
“Hmm... that’s true.” Lausanne nodded. “I agree with it.”
Jura shook his head. “I prefer we play it safe, ask Aeon to clear a path for us towards that direction.”
“It’ll take too long.” Lausanne said. And some of the other survivors agreed. “We need to get in touch with civilisation as fast as we can. If it’s up to Aeon, it’ll be years before we get there. You know it’s true, Uncle.”
“But it is safe. Think about it, you want to face all the monsters out there? We’ve seen so many.”
“We’ve faced them before.” A survivor said. He too was one of the capped out fighters. Level 75. “And we’re high level, we can survive this.”
“Have you guys actually thought this through? Where are you going to live? What are you going to eat? The terrain is not what it was.”
“Better than being trapped in here for the past 20 years, Jura. Some of us have decided we want to see civilisation again. It’s worth a shot.”
Jura frowned.
Lausanne agreed with that group. “Uncle. He’s right. We can’t stay here forever, and fact is, we need to rebuild the lines of communication. Get help. Find some people who’d be able to get us out of this mess. The town is no more, and the people deserve better.”
“At what risk? You can’t protect all of them.”
“But staying here as it is isn’t a way to live. We’ve been here for decades!”
“Aeon’s getting there.”
“Aeon’s going to take forever.” A survivor said. “No disrespect, but Aeon works on different timescales. We’d be having kids before we are out of this place. It’s been more than 2 years since Aeon woke up and we’re still just clearing up the surrounding area.”
“We’re making slow, defensible progress. We can protect this place.”
“It’s too slow. 2 years, Jura. For some of the centaurs and dwarves, it’s a big chunk of their lives. I know it means less to the elves. But they’ve already spent 20 years here, and another 2 years since. Let us go.”
Jura frowned. This was a common issue, in the fact that people of different life expectancies had different perceptions of the value of time. Like, 2 years for an elf that could live to 500 to 800 years is different from a centaur or dwarf that usually lived up to 150 to 200.
Jura wasn’t too happy, but the survivors were split. Those too afraid to take the risk and are willing to stay here, and those who believe it’s worth a shot. To get back their normal lives by making a trek across the hostile terrain, with their warriors protecting them. So, Jura walked away.
“A small group is easier to protect. We have enough preserved food and our familiars can continue to produce fruits.” One of the survivors said.
Lausanne nodded. She asked for some beetles to accompany them, but the demonic sludge’s interference meant their operating range was limited. Go further and they’ll just shut down.
A day after they had that discussion, Lausanne came and talked to me.
“Aeon.”
“Yes?” I was still studying the demonic trees at that time.
“I’m going to leave the valley.”
“I know.” I was still processing the matter. I didn’t know how to react. I mean, I just woke up. Okay, just is relative, because to me, it felt like I just woke up, but the survivors have a point, it is 2 years for them. 2 wasted years, in a way. For 2 years, the world zoomed past them, and I can see why they want to rejoin society again.
“Are you... mad, Aeon?” She asked.
“You used to call me... TreeTree.” I’m not sure what made me say that.
“Ah... I’m already 39, Aeon.” She looked a bit embarrassed. “It’s... been a long time.”
For me, I felt awkward. In my mind, she’s still a child. I felt like it was yesterday that I saw her as a teenager, and now, at 39, she’s pretty much an elven adult. I can’t accept that. No, I must accept that. People change. Everyone changes. It’s foolish of me to expect anyone to stay the same for years, or what more decades.
“We’re always here, master.” Trevor added. “We have gained levels, but we are the same.” Well, except them. And my fellow trees, who are as eternal as I am.
“Well, this was something I’ve been hoping to do, and I’ve waited years for it.” She said. “Remember when I used to say I wanted to visit the other spirits.”
Ah, yes. It was just yesterday for me. Really.
“Well, I don’t want it anymore.”
“Huh?
“I had so many years to think about stuff.” Lausanne went. This was... nostalgic. I recall my earlier days in Freeka, when it was a small village, when the elves used to always sit down next to me and talk about their affairs. About how they felt, about life in general. How Casshern used to make comments about the younger elves, or even Laufen then, about her worries of childbirth
Lausanne paused a moment, she was in my secret hideout, the place that was once her old room. Nothing changed in the room, but she has. She touched the things that she once used.
“22 years, Aeon. In that long period of time, I felt broken. I felt robbed of my opportunity to travel the world. I was angry, Aeon. Angry. So mad that the world did this, that our world, this stupid stupid world, would be so self-destructive. That demons constantly came for us, and for what? We don’t even know why we are here, serving as fodders and decorations for the heroes and demons’ eternal conflict. It didn’t make sense.”
“It doesn’t.”
“But, there wasn’t much I could do about the demons and heroes. Not with my powers. So after my anger, I grieved for my lost time. I felt sad. I felt lost. I wondered what the purpose of living was, Aeon. Have you ever felt like that? Wondering why do you even exist in the world, like... why was I born into this world? I wanted reason, I wanted to know. I wanted to see a bigger picture.”
Well... honestly, for me, it’s an accident. One that I accepted quite willingly, which is extremely strange in hindsight. How did I accept it so easily?
“Maybe it’s different for you, because you’re this great tree spirit that’s always been here. But for me, I felt lost. I have this... power. Your gift. But why? Why did the fates conspire for me to receive such gifts and power? And yet, it’s insufficient in the face of such great evils. So, I wallowed in that misery for a few years, every day just fighting the damned demonic monsters that came for our lives.”
Okay...
“But I eventually moved past that grief, and into acceptance. I’ve accepted that I’ve lost 22 years being here in the valley. So I spent time just honing my skills. Even if our levels are capped out, it’s still possible to upgrade our skills to be stronger versions. And then, now my goal is different. I just want to see the world, and appreciate what’s out there. I mean... I’ve accepted that I’m not a hero.”
What. Okay, how is that related.
“Surviving this disaster, then hitting my level cap. I realised that I wasn’t meant to be a hero, and that well, life’s not that great. You know, before this whole thing, I used to think I was special. I mean, mom told me I was special, and everyone treated me like I was special because I had your special powers, and I even believed I was special. But I’ve come to accept that I am not that special. Special, but not much.”
“Well, that’s not a bad place to be.”
“Yeah. It isn’t. I wanted more at a point, but I believe it’s not really what I actually want. So... Aeon. Uhm, TreeTree. I will leave with the group that wants to make the journey. I had to have this conversation with you, because I recalled how well you treated me, and all these special powers and blessings you’ve given me. I’m leaving, and I want to thank you.”
Huh.
“Thank you, Aeon. For all you’ve done for me so far. But it is time I go out there, and find my own place in the world. It may not be much, but I’d like to think I’m like a bird. Finally freed of this cage, I should try to fly away. Maybe I might return, or maybe I may just drop by, but I have to take this chance.”
I felt... betrayed. And yet I felt that feeling of betrayal was wrong. I am a tree, and it is normal that animals occasionally stop by, and maybe in the larger scheme of things, everyone’s just a transient contact for the tree.
She waited.
I didn’t know how to feel. Is this reality for a tree?
It didn’t feel that long ago that I thought she was going to be loyal to me! This is betrayal! BETRAYAL!
Or is it? I mean, why do I feel like I own her? I don’t. Even if I helped her, and watched her grow up, does that mean I own her? Am I like a parent that watched a child grow up and now that the child has grown up, the parent refused to let go? Am I like that?
But if I lose even her, then who can I trust?
I felt frustrated. And it was then some quotes from my human days came.
If you love someone, set them free.
So corny, and yet something tells me this is the truth. Strange. I have trust issues, clearly. Is that why my relationships as Matt failed? How do I trust her?
“Aeon?” She asked. I think she waited for half an hour already.
I inwardly sighed. I shouldn’t be like this. Is this me being upset and possessive? I’m a freaking tree damned it. Shouldn’t I be more magnanimous? What would Treebeard do? What would Grandmother Willow do?
“Ah. Go, Lausanne. It is fine.”
Even though I said those words, I felt difficult. I didn’t quite accept that time moved so slowly for the rest of them, and so quickly for me. It’s strange and uncomfortable to think others have far different expectations of the world and their life, and that I can’t expect loyalty from them. At least, not on a longer term.
Is this why Lilies is a lot more ‘big-picture’ about things? They aren’t attached to individuals, and maybe because it's like that whole elf thing in Lord of The Rings, we are doomed to watch those we love grow old and die before us? Is this our fate for living so long?
“Are you sure, Aeon?” Lausanne asked.
No, I’m not sure. Why can’t I let go? I don’t own her! I’m not even her parents, but then, I have showered her with powers and care. Is it because my investment, my sunk cost, that I care that now she’s pulling away? If so, I should’ve seen it coming.
So I decided to speak to Laufen, her mom. Twenty years have passed, but she aged only slightly.
“Lausanne is finally leaving.”
“Yes, Aeon. It’s something I’ve always expected to happen. I remember they used to say, that young adult elves have a calling to see the world, to see more of it. It’s something they must do to get out of their system. I remember I used to do it, then I met Ricola and settled down.”
Oh. An elven thing. Is it like humans back home, where parents kick their children out once they turn 21?
“I hear human adults have that too, though like us, it is stronger in some than the rest.”
“And you are not sad or worried, or well, disappointed?”
“Children must grow up, and Lausanne has been talking of this day for many years. Trapped in this valley for so long, it is quite a waste for her. Besides, how would she find a mate if she doesn’t visit the other elven cities! I’m sure I’ll still be worried sick, though.”
Trapped? But they are here with me! Okay, that’s a fairly selfish and ignorant statement. I’m a tree. I’m a freaking 100 year old tree. I should act like one.
Lausanne was still in her room. I decided to just calm myself down, and well, do some breathing exercise. For a tree, that meant actually taking in the air and well, making oxygen, I suppose. I have to let her go, or do I force her to stay?
“Would you ever consider staying?”
Lausanne paused, well, very briefly. “Maybe after I’m done?”
