Turning my attention away from the crowd before it caused me to have a nervous breakdown again, I focused on the other people sitting at the table with me; namely, my parents. Rosial was still officially dead, so she could not attend. Felicity was in an awkward place owing to her status as a demihuman and the fact that she had never been legally adopted by my parents.
I need to figure out the best way to handle her situation… The easiest thing to do would be to just make a new slave contract, but I would rather not; as far as Claire and I can tell, she doesn’t need a connection to me anymore now that Envious has activated fully… Ack! I’m rambling again.
The short of it was that Felicity was not able to attend either. Stil and Jacqueline were also not in attendance, for obvious reasons. Actually, even my parents being here had caused some organizational problems. This was owing to their status being as low as it was.
In the end it had been decided to compromise; my parents were seated some distance away from Rupert and myself, rather than on my left side as was traditionally the case. Even with them being as distant as they were, their presence still served as a steadying force for me.
A pair of knights stamped their sabatons to produce a rather loud bang that resounded throughout the room, likely aided by some Wind Magic. The whispers that had begun to pick up died down as the assembled guests turned to face the entrance at the opposite side of the hall from where Rupert and I had just come from. Everyone knew that the king was going to make an appearance, so it wasn’t as if they were all confused about what was about to happen.
“Announcing His Highness, King Edward von Drakas the Fifth.” With the herald’s announcement, the pair of knights again stomped their sabatons before swinging open the double doors. The king entered, and upon seeing him, those assembled stood as one before dropping to their knees. Rupert was the lone exception; being the king’s son, he stood but did not kneel.
I did my best not to stare, satisfying myself with only what could be gleaned from the peripherals of my vision. Who could blame me for being curious? This was my father-in-law, and I had only actually ever seen him thrice before today.
And one of those times, he dropped a bombshell that forced us to alter our plans pretty drastically. Granted, it worked out in the end but… Chances are, things would not have gotten so bad for me in particular, had the king not gotten impatient and forced us to move quicker.
It was not that I blamed him specifically. Rather, he was an enigma; I could clearly see the benefits of moving as quickly as we had. But that was only with hindsight. In the moment, I would have loved nothing more than to slow down.
I have to wonder when I will get a chance to meet him properly, instead of from a distance like this. I have to imagine I will at some point, being that I literally married his son.
Frankly, in my mind, it was odd that I had yet to meet him since the wedding. Especially given that I had met the god damned dragon face to face and even shared words with him. The king completed his entrance and, standing on a small raised platform placed specifically for the purposes of his and Rupert’s speeches.
The last time he gave a speech, he was not all that verbose.
I glanced at Rupert from out of the corner of my eye; I already knew that he did not know what the king actually intended to say outside of the same barebones basics I knew. He had fixed his father with a cold stare, though his face otherwise remained passive. If I did not know any better, I would probably consider the stare treasonous.
So, he’s also concerned that dad is going to through us another stick to go fetch… I really hope he doesn’t.
“Rupert, you have chosen your queen.” His voice was rather quiet, in stark contrast to the tone he had when giving the speeches at the school. He also did not employ the voice this time either. Yet, something about the way he was talking was still rather compelling.
When he did not continue, I realized that he was in fact waiting for a response from Rupert.
“I have.”
“And you believe she will be able to rise to the station?”
“I do.”
He was quiet then, for some time. Long enough to where I began to worry he was about to throw our plans out of whack again.
“Then, Stahlia von Ris.” Everyone’s gaze snapped to me at those words, and I felt my pulse quicken again.
Right, this is the part where I raise my head.
I looked up and met the king’s stare with my own. Despite my nerves beginning to feel raw once again I somehow managed to hold myself steady.
“I will honor my son’s decision. I hereby permit the use of our name as your own; Stahlia von Ris und zu Drakas. Furthermore, I grant you the title crown princess. Support my son in the years to come.”
A notification popped into my head, informing me that I had received a new title
And now I am supposed to curtsy once to the king, then once to Rupert.
Against all odds, my knees did not give out and I was able to fulfill that task. Throughout everything he had said so far, he had maintained that same quiet yet piercing tone. Now, he changed to the more commanding presence I was familiar with from the previous times I had seen him.
“With my blessing, this is the next king and queen of our country. Are there any here who would go against my decree?”
After a short pause that was more for effect than anything else, the king continued, “As it should be. Still, there are others who are not present. My own son who goes against the words of his father, his king.”
The king raised his hand as a quiet murmur ran through the gathered ensemble; the first part of his speech was fairly traditional, but what he was saying now was not. Though people had probably been expecting him to say something about Antonio and his followers, the king was being pretty obvious about his stance. He was calling them traitors with little room for interpretation.
“Bring the registry.” His voice had changed again. Instead of the powerful commanding tone or the quiet yet piercing one, it was now soft. Barely audible, and yet everyone heard it. There was something else there that I could not quite identify either. Something final. Besides me, I saw Rupert stiffen; he was no longer making an effort to hide his feelings but was staring at his father with naked surprise… and shock?
“…Rupert?” In my anxiousness, I neglected his title. Fortunately, I still had the presence of mind to whisper.
“…Not now. Watch carefully and do not forget a moment of what you witness… My father is about to make history, the bastard. He should have told me he was going to do this.” Though he managed to prevent his voice from carrying, there was genuine anger and frustration behind his words.
A pair of women wearing robes arrived bearing between them a scroll upon which was stamped the seal of the royal family.
The so-called registry I take it. A registry of what? Based on Rupert’s reaction, something significant. The other nobles look somewhat stunned as well.
Indeed, though none were talking, they were all glancing at each other rather excitedly. Not in a good way, like they were excited about what was about to happen. More so that they could not believe what they were seeing.
The king reach towards the scroll, and the two bearers unfurled it. I was too far away to read what was written in it, but I could feel a rather powerful connection between myself and the words on the page. As if something were tugging at my soul.
A family registry then. Of all the members of the royal family, a magic tool that records the names of the rulers and their kin. But, what is he going to do with… that… No way, he wouldn’t, would he?
“Antonio von Drakas, mine first son. I denounce you. In the presence of those assembled, and by my right as king, may your name be stricken.”
The scroll seemed to glow, and I felt something snap, as though a string had been pulled taut and then cut. The scroll was then reverently rewound and borne from the room. A moment later, the king himself left. All the while, nobody present said a word. The atmosphere was heavy, and I felt cold.
Forget denouncing him, he stripped him of his status and titles. The king effectively disowned his own first son. Even for him, that’s extreme… No, perhaps not; the war starts in a year and a month. We don’t have time for a petty rebellion, and Antonio should know that. The king is taking the most expedient course of action that would best serve the kingdom. With this, even many of the nobles still following him will recuse themselves.
Rupert looked like he was going to be sick, surprisingly enough.
“…Prince Rupert, are you well?” I would be lying if I said that this brief reversal of roles did not feel amazing.
Any minute now, he’ll… Yep, there it is.
Rupert tensed his jaw, shook his head, and wiped his cheeks with both hands. Once he had finished, his expression had returned to neutrality. He looked down at me, “I am doing well, Stahlia. Are you ready for the next part?”
I rolled my eyes but nodded, “Yes, your own speech correct?”
“Correct, though I will now need to give it off the cuff… My father is genuinely a troubling man.”
All I could do was shrug and nod. Rupert grimaced briefly before once again forcing a neutral expression and standing. The crowd had been stunned speechless by the king’s actions; the majority of them lacked the context for why the king had been so harsh in his judgment against Antonio. When Rupert began walking towards the small raised platform, a number of them began whispering to each other.
Normally, Rupert would take the time to introduce me to the other nobles. That was the tradition, but given his own admission that he would need to ad-lib his speech I didn’t know if this would still be the case.
A pain in the ass indeed. Fully half of the times I’ve met father dearest, he has thoroughly torn our plans apart.
Though saying we had met was a stretch; I had seen him twice at academy ceremonies, and once at the second prince’s funeral procession. Four times in total.
“I am grateful to my father, for affording my fiancé and I his blessing. This past year has seen great tragedy and turmoil befall our fine kingdom.”
This was the first time I had actually heard Rupert’s “speech voice” and I had to say, it wasn’t bad. He lacked the impact of his father, but he was still articulate and easy to understand. If I had to put a finger on it, I would say that where his father had impact, Rupert had earnestness. His father might command respect, but Rupert made you want to give it. Between the two, I couldn’t tell which was more effective.
“My brother the second prince, assassinated in his own land. The turmoil caused by terrorists in the capital. Antonio and his separatists… It gladdens me that we could come together to celebrate my wife-to-be.”
Pretty sure that you’re responsible for the first one, I’m sort of the reason for the second, and we are jointly the reason for the third…
Oblivious to my internal thoughts and conniptions, Rupert continued.
“Normally, I would take this opportunity to introduce my fiancé. We would lead a dance with other young couples, you all would have the chance to say a few words to her, and the night would end.”
So this is where things go to improvisation, I need to be careful and watch for a good moment to jump in about Elienor.
“But as my father demonstrated, to do so now, while there are forces that threaten our peace… I could not in good conscious do so. Not until my former brother has answered for the strife he causes. Until all the threats that stalk our lands have been dealt with.”
Rupert was reading the room rather skillfully and playing the crowd. His father’s actions had created an air of unease that he was now capitalizing on. The nobles, at least the barons and less influential counts, had been knocked off balance by Antonio being disowned. Rupert was tossing them a life ring, something to hold onto. Even I, as inept at playing politics as I was, could see that.
After pausing to let his proclamation sink in, Rupert continued, “Too long have I allowed my brother’s actions to go unpunished.”
Because you wanted to wait until after they had been exhausted by the winter.
“No more. We will spend the remaining months until spring gathering an army. Then, when the first snow melts, I will crush my late brother’s forces. The traitors will be expunged.”
So exactly what the plan was originally, but now with public fervor on our side.
A small smattering of applause broke out then, as Rupert paused. If I had to guess, I would say it had been started by one or more of his supporters. Whatever the case, it very quickly spread throughout the room as more and more nobles joined in. That was when I caught his stare, and ever so slightly a nod.
Ah, ‘all the traitors’ that would include Elienor. So this is when I should jump in… Right when everyone is calling for blood… Damnit Rupert!
Still, if I gave in to my newfound fear of crowds, it would mean death or permanent imprisonment for Elienor.
I took a deep breath and then stepped toward Rupert, “Ah… Excuse me, Prince Rupert.”
It was strange, the nobles immediately nearby fell quiet first. Then, as though a ripple in a pond, the silence spread out from there. Until they were all staring at me. The looks were fortuitously not all that harsh, though once I started to voice my request I was sure that would change. Rather, they were presently curious; after all, this event was originally supposed to have been more or less for me.
“I… I do not think we should put down all of the traitors…”
True to my expectations, the stares quickly became hostile and I could feel them boring into my from all angles.
Focus.
My head was starting to swim a bit, and I paused. Searching the crowd of faces, I picked out Edith’s and latched onto it.
“E-everyone here knows that my father… that my family are merely barons. We would not necessarily have the luxury to go against those above us… While I am grateful to you for negotiating with my father in good faith,”
A blatant lie… It’s scary how easy that was to say…
“…Not all people would be as generous as you… Count Francois certainly was not.”
When in doubt, blame the count.
The stares were still bearing down on me, but as of yet, nobody had moved to contradict what I was saying, “I would ask that you consider the positions of each of the traitor nobles… Some of them may be deserving of clemency…”
My voice failed under the pressure and I fell silent.
I wasn’t able to get to the part about Elienor…
Rupert fell into a contemplative posture, stroking his chin. I knew that he wasn’t really thinking right now; if he was serious he would be speaking out loud and seemingly at random in a stream of consciousness. The act was convincing though; it appeared as though he were considering my words with care.
“I see, this is about the Francois’ daughter, your friend Elienor, is it?”
To Rupert’s assertation, I nodded. I couldn’t trust my voice at the moment. It was liable to crack should I try to say anything.
“I see. You raise a good point. With respect to your own experiences with higher nobles, I shall take your words to heart; before declaring the purge, I shall issue a proclamation to the traitors. Though Antonio’s life is forfeit, and that of his close aides. As far as the Francois girl… You will be responsible for her going forward, do you accept that?”
Again, I nodded.
I look pathetic right now. Like some lost little girl floundering around in a world she doesn’t understand at all… If not for Rupert being so understanding, I wouldn’t be able to handle things at all.
Even though I realized my shortcoming, I wasn’t able to help myself. It was as though my confidence had been utterly destroyed. Until I could figure out how to get it back, I would be nothing but a burden to my friends. That notion only served to make me feel worse about things.
Finding Edith’s face again, I saw that she was giving me a concerned look. I tried to smile, to signal that everything was alright. But all that I accomplished was a sort of cramped crooked partial grin. To any onlookers, it would appear that I was embarrassed at being the center of attention. To people who knew about my present circumstances and condition, it would be obvious that I was faking hard.
Edith’s expression turned pained and she began to pick her way through the crowd towards me. Rupert might have spared me from having to lead the dance, but that didn’t mean the night was over. There was still the socializing to attend to.
I’m going to be sick.
Turning my attention away from the crowd before it caused me to have a nervous breakdown again, I focused on the other people sitting at the table with me; namely, my parents. Rosial was still officially dead, so she could not attend. Felicity was in an awkward place owing to her status as a demihuman and the fact that she had never been legally adopted by my parents.
I need to figure out the best way to handle her situation… The easiest thing to do would be to just make a new slave contract, but I would rather not; as far as Claire and I can tell, she doesn’t need a connection to me anymore now that Envious has activated fully… Ack! I’m rambling again.
The short of it was that Felicity was not able to attend either. Stil and Jacqueline were also not in attendance, for obvious reasons. Actually, even my parents being here had caused some organizational problems. This was owing to their status being as low as it was.
In the end it had been decided to compromise; my parents were seated some distance away from Rupert and myself, rather than on my left side as was traditionally the case. Even with them being as distant as they were, their presence still served as a steadying force for me.
A pair of knights stamped their sabatons to produce a rather loud bang that resounded throughout the room, likely aided by some Wind Magic. The whispers that had begun to pick up died down as the assembled guests turned to face the entrance at the opposite side of the hall from where Rupert and I had just come from. Everyone knew that the king was going to make an appearance, so it wasn’t as if they were all confused about what was about to happen.
“Announcing His Highness, King Edward von Drakas the Fifth.” With the herald’s announcement, the pair of knights again stomped their sabatons before swinging open the double doors. The king entered, and upon seeing him, those assembled stood as one before dropping to their knees. Rupert was the lone exception; being the king’s son, he stood but did not kneel.
I did my best not to stare, satisfying myself with only what could be gleaned from the peripherals of my vision. Who could blame me for being curious? This was my father-in-law, and I had only actually ever seen him thrice before today.
And one of those times, he dropped a bombshell that forced us to alter our plans pretty drastically. Granted, it worked out in the end but… Chances are, things would not have gotten so bad for me in particular, had the king not gotten impatient and forced us to move quicker.
It was not that I blamed him specifically. Rather, he was an enigma; I could clearly see the benefits of moving as quickly as we had. But that was only with hindsight. In the moment, I would have loved nothing more than to slow down.
I have to wonder when I will get a chance to meet him properly, instead of from a distance like this. I have to imagine I will at some point, being that I literally married his son.
Frankly, in my mind, it was odd that I had yet to meet him since the wedding. Especially given that I had met the god damned dragon face to face and even shared words with him. The king completed his entrance and, standing on a small raised platform placed specifically for the purposes of his and Rupert’s speeches.
The last time he gave a speech, he was not all that verbose.
I glanced at Rupert from out of the corner of my eye; I already knew that he did not know what the king actually intended to say outside of the same barebones basics I knew. He had fixed his father with a cold stare, though his face otherwise remained passive. If I did not know any better, I would probably consider the stare treasonous.
So, he’s also concerned that dad is going to through us another stick to go fetch… I really hope he doesn’t.
“Rupert, you have chosen your queen.” His voice was rather quiet, in stark contrast to the tone he had when giving the speeches at the school. He also did not employ the voice this time either. Yet, something about the way he was talking was still rather compelling.
When he did not continue, I realized that he was in fact waiting for a response from Rupert.
“I have.”
“And you believe she will be able to rise to the station?”
“I do.”
He was quiet then, for some time. Long enough to where I began to worry he was about to throw our plans out of whack again.
“Then, Stahlia von Ris.” Everyone’s gaze snapped to me at those words, and I felt my pulse quicken again.
Right, this is the part where I raise my head.
I looked up and met the king’s stare with my own. Despite my nerves beginning to feel raw once again I somehow managed to hold myself steady.
“I will honor my son’s decision. I hereby permit the use of our name as your own; Stahlia von Ris und zu Drakas. Furthermore, I grant you the title crown princess. Support my son in the years to come.”
A notification popped into my head, informing me that I had received a new title
And now I am supposed to curtsy once to the king, then once to Rupert.
Against all odds, my knees did not give out and I was able to fulfill that task. Throughout everything he had said so far, he had maintained that same quiet yet piercing tone. Now, he changed to the more commanding presence I was familiar with from the previous times I had seen him.
“With my blessing, this is the next king and queen of our country. Are there any here who would go against my decree?”
After a short pause that was more for effect than anything else, the king continued, “As it should be. Still, there are others who are not present. My own son who goes against the words of his father, his king.”
The king raised his hand as a quiet murmur ran through the gathered ensemble; the first part of his speech was fairly traditional, but what he was saying now was not. Though people had probably been expecting him to say something about Antonio and his followers, the king was being pretty obvious about his stance. He was calling them traitors with little room for interpretation.
“Bring the registry.” His voice had changed again. Instead of the powerful commanding tone or the quiet yet piercing one, it was now soft. Barely audible, and yet everyone heard it. There was something else there that I could not quite identify either. Something final. Besides me, I saw Rupert stiffen; he was no longer making an effort to hide his feelings but was staring at his father with naked surprise… and shock?
“…Rupert?” In my anxiousness, I neglected his title. Fortunately, I still had the presence of mind to whisper.
“…Not now. Watch carefully and do not forget a moment of what you witness… My father is about to make history, the bastard. He should have told me he was going to do this.” Though he managed to prevent his voice from carrying, there was genuine anger and frustration behind his words.
A pair of women wearing robes arrived bearing between them a scroll upon which was stamped the seal of the royal family.
The so-called registry I take it. A registry of what? Based on Rupert’s reaction, something significant. The other nobles look somewhat stunned as well.
Indeed, though none were talking, they were all glancing at each other rather excitedly. Not in a good way, like they were excited about what was about to happen. More so that they could not believe what they were seeing.
The king reach towards the scroll, and the two bearers unfurled it. I was too far away to read what was written in it, but I could feel a rather powerful connection between myself and the words on the page. As if something were tugging at my soul.
A family registry then. Of all the members of the royal family, a magic tool that records the names of the rulers and their kin. But, what is he going to do with… that… No way, he wouldn’t, would he?
“Antonio von Drakas, mine first son. I denounce you. In the presence of those assembled, and by my right as king, may your name be stricken.”
The scroll seemed to glow, and I felt something snap, as though a string had been pulled taut and then cut. The scroll was then reverently rewound and borne from the room. A moment later, the king himself left. All the while, nobody present said a word. The atmosphere was heavy, and I felt cold.
Forget denouncing him, he stripped him of his status and titles. The king effectively disowned his own first son. Even for him, that’s extreme… No, perhaps not; the war starts in a year and a month. We don’t have time for a petty rebellion, and Antonio should know that. The king is taking the most expedient course of action that would best serve the kingdom. With this, even many of the nobles still following him will recuse themselves.
Rupert looked like he was going to be sick, surprisingly enough.
“…Prince Rupert, are you well?” I would be lying if I said that this brief reversal of roles did not feel amazing.
Any minute now, he’ll… Yep, there it is.
Rupert tensed his jaw, shook his head, and wiped his cheeks with both hands. Once he had finished, his expression had returned to neutrality. He looked down at me, “I am doing well, Stahlia. Are you ready for the next part?”
I rolled my eyes but nodded, “Yes, your own speech correct?”
“Correct, though I will now need to give it off the cuff… My father is genuinely a troubling man.”
All I could do was shrug and nod. Rupert grimaced briefly before once again forcing a neutral expression and standing. The crowd had been stunned speechless by the king’s actions; the majority of them lacked the context for why the king had been so harsh in his judgment against Antonio. When Rupert began walking towards the small raised platform, a number of them began whispering to each other.
Normally, Rupert would take the time to introduce me to the other nobles. That was the tradition, but given his own admission that he would need to ad-lib his speech I didn’t know if this would still be the case.
A pain in the ass indeed. Fully half of the times I’ve met father dearest, he has thoroughly torn our plans apart.
Though saying we had met was a stretch; I had seen him twice at academy ceremonies, and once at the second prince’s funeral procession. Four times in total.
“I am grateful to my father, for affording my fiancé and I his blessing. This past year has seen great tragedy and turmoil befall our fine kingdom.”
This was the first time I had actually heard Rupert’s “speech voice” and I had to say, it wasn’t bad. He lacked the impact of his father, but he was still articulate and easy to understand. If I had to put a finger on it, I would say that where his father had impact, Rupert had earnestness. His father might command respect, but Rupert made you want to give it. Between the two, I couldn’t tell which was more effective.
“My brother the second prince, assassinated in his own land. The turmoil caused by terrorists in the capital. Antonio and his separatists… It gladdens me that we could come together to celebrate my wife-to-be.”
Pretty sure that you’re responsible for the first one, I’m sort of the reason for the second, and we are jointly the reason for the third…
Oblivious to my internal thoughts and conniptions, Rupert continued.
“Normally, I would take this opportunity to introduce my fiancé. We would lead a dance with other young couples, you all would have the chance to say a few words to her, and the night would end.”
So this is where things go to improvisation, I need to be careful and watch for a good moment to jump in about Elienor.
“But as my father demonstrated, to do so now, while there are forces that threaten our peace… I could not in good conscious do so. Not until my former brother has answered for the strife he causes. Until all the threats that stalk our lands have been dealt with.”
Rupert was reading the room rather skillfully and playing the crowd. His father’s actions had created an air of unease that he was now capitalizing on. The nobles, at least the barons and less influential counts, had been knocked off balance by Antonio being disowned. Rupert was tossing them a life ring, something to hold onto. Even I, as inept at playing politics as I was, could see that.
After pausing to let his proclamation sink in, Rupert continued, “Too long have I allowed my brother’s actions to go unpunished.”
Because you wanted to wait until after they had been exhausted by the winter.
“No more. We will spend the remaining months until spring gathering an army. Then, when the first snow melts, I will crush my late brother’s forces. The traitors will be expunged.”
So exactly what the plan was originally, but now with public fervor on our side.
A small smattering of applause broke out then, as Rupert paused. If I had to guess, I would say it had been started by one or more of his supporters. Whatever the case, it very quickly spread throughout the room as more and more nobles joined in. That was when I caught his stare, and ever so slightly a nod.
Ah, ‘all the traitors’ that would include Elienor. So this is when I should jump in… Right when everyone is calling for blood… Damnit Rupert!
Still, if I gave in to my newfound fear of crowds, it would mean death or permanent imprisonment for Elienor.
I took a deep breath and then stepped toward Rupert, “Ah… Excuse me, Prince Rupert.”
It was strange, the nobles immediately nearby fell quiet first. Then, as though a ripple in a pond, the silence spread out from there. Until they were all staring at me. The looks were fortuitously not all that harsh, though once I started to voice my request I was sure that would change. Rather, they were presently curious; after all, this event was originally supposed to have been more or less for me.
“I… I do not think we should put down all of the traitors…”
True to my expectations, the stares quickly became hostile and I could feel them boring into my from all angles.
Focus.
My head was starting to swim a bit, and I paused. Searching the crowd of faces, I picked out Edith’s and latched onto it.
“E-everyone here knows that my father… that my family are merely barons. We would not necessarily have the luxury to go against those above us… While I am grateful to you for negotiating with my father in good faith,”
A blatant lie… It’s scary how easy that was to say…
“…Not all people would be as generous as you… Count Francois certainly was not.”
When in doubt, blame the count.
The stares were still bearing down on me, but as of yet, nobody had moved to contradict what I was saying, “I would ask that you consider the positions of each of the traitor nobles… Some of them may be deserving of clemency…”
My voice failed under the pressure and I fell silent.
I wasn’t able to get to the part about Elienor…
Rupert fell into a contemplative posture, stroking his chin. I knew that he wasn’t really thinking right now; if he was serious he would be speaking out loud and seemingly at random in a stream of consciousness. The act was convincing though; it appeared as though he were considering my words with care.
“I see, this is about the Francois’ daughter, your friend Elienor, is it?”
To Rupert’s assertation, I nodded. I couldn’t trust my voice at the moment. It was liable to crack should I try to say anything.
“I see. You raise a good point. With respect to your own experiences with higher nobles, I shall take your words to heart; before declaring the purge, I shall issue a proclamation to the traitors. Though Antonio’s life is forfeit, and that of his close aides. As far as the Francois girl… You will be responsible for her going forward, do you accept that?”
Again, I nodded.
I look pathetic right now. Like some lost little girl floundering around in a world she doesn’t understand at all… If not for Rupert being so understanding, I wouldn’t be able to handle things at all.
Even though I realized my shortcoming, I wasn’t able to help myself. It was as though my confidence had been utterly destroyed. Until I could figure out how to get it back, I would be nothing but a burden to my friends. That notion only served to make me feel worse about things.
Finding Edith’s face again, I saw that she was giving me a concerned look. I tried to smile, to signal that everything was alright. But all that I accomplished was a sort of cramped crooked partial grin. To any onlookers, it would appear that I was embarrassed at being the center of attention. To people who knew about my present circumstances and condition, it would be obvious that I was faking hard.
Edith’s expression turned pained and she began to pick her way through the crowd towards me. Rupert might have spared me from having to lead the dance, but that didn’t mean the night was over. There was still the socializing to attend to.
I’m going to be sick.
