Edith picked her way to me through the crowd. In another few minutes, we would begin with the impromptu audiences. Though I wasn’t looking forward to it, this part was key to building up my reputation and establishing the basics of connections. The latter being something that I had failed rather miserably at during my time at the Academy, Edith aside.
Thankfully, this is just going to be a meet-and-greet sort of thing, since other than my connection to the Francois not many of the adult nobles took any interest in me… My parents probably have things worse, considering their standing.
I chanced a look at my father, who was still at the table we had been sitting at prior to me moving to the middle of the room. Very few people were approaching him, contrary to my expectations. It was likely that the capital nobles were not entirely sure of how to approach father; in principle they largely outranked him. But I outranked him as well as all of them. It was a rather unique set of circumstances, and the careful scheming nobility were loathe to be the one to make the first move.
“Lady Stahlia, are you holding up alright? You look unwell.” Edith’s voice caused me to turn around.
Ah right, I was supposed to excuse myself to a slightly more isolated part of the venue.
“I am feeling a bit ill, I think it would be a good idea to sit down for a bit.” Taking her cue, I made a quick excuse before falling back towards an ornate bench at the side of the room that had been placed here with my retreat in mind. Edith followed after a moment’s delay.
Ordinarily, it would be the two present duke’s right to introduce themselves first, but they had already recused themselves per Rupert’s request. I would be introduced to them formally at a later time though, so it was not like I had managed to escape. Edith was next in line by status, so we had a few moments before others would begin to approach.
Facing me so that her voice would be harder to pick up by the crowd, Edith did something rather unexpected.
“You’re holding up well, all things considered. Just a bit longer before you can excuse yourself completely.”
The odds that she was overheard were slim, but it was not nonexistent. If her words just now had been overheard, it would cause a small scandal or at least stir some minor rumors. No matter what, the tone used was improper considering our relevant positions.
I must be a lot worse than I thought I was if she’s willing to take a risk like that to try and calm me down… Sorry Edith.
Instead of forcing her into greater risk with a vague or even direct response, I forced a faint smile onto my face and nodded lightly. If anyone happened to be watching, it would simply look like she had said or asked something that I took in good humor. Given our established friendship, that much should go over just fine.
For some reason though, Edith gave me a rather cross look before sighing, “In any case, I will do what I can to blunt this next part.”
Considering the circumstances, she was being a bit too curt. But with what I was putting her through, that much was understandable, “Then, who is first?”
Edith turned so she could see the small crowd of people forming a few meters away from us, “Count Garrus, formerly one of the neutral nobles. He will likely seek simply to greet you…”
She trailed off as Count Garrus stepped closer out of the crowd. Stepping towards me, Edith greeted him first with a respectful half curtsy. He returned the greeting with a bow of his own, then a full bow towards me.
“Lady Stahlia, Count Garrus together with his wife, Lady Garrus.” Edith deftly inserted her as my pseudo herald, while skillfully ignoring the mildly annoyed look she received from a few of those in the crowd.
Those are faces I should remember; they are probably the ones that would try to manipulate and play word games with me to get favors.
Fortunately, I still had the presence of mind to recognize such an obvious fact even with my shot nerves.
Thank you Edith, for managing to give me some degree of forewarning about which ones to look out for, even with my general ineptitude tonight.
As it turned out, my friend and aide had been correct about the current Count and Countess; they really were just here to greet me.
“Well, we will not take up any more of your time your highness, my wife simply wished to see you up close while she had the chance.”
To his frank statement, I gave a half bow. Hopefully the relief I was feeling at the first audience being over would not show through, “Lady Garrus, it was a pleasure to meet you as well.”
Short and to the point, if I don’t say much of anything I can’t accidentally say too much.
With the pleasantries concluded the first assailants stepped aside, clearing the field for the next contender. The next to approach were among those who I had marked as dangerous; a middle-aged man and his… well, I hopped it was his daughter.
Edith took a short step to the side, as though she was shifting her weight slightly, effectively cutting the man off from coming too close to me, “Lady Stahlia, Count Ofnir together with his daughter. Formerly of the Second Prince’s faction.”
The count gave Edith a scathing look masked as a pleasant smile, “Well, what helpful friends you have, my lady.”
Something about the way he was speaking triggered all of my red flags, but he was not being outwardly disrespectful so there was little I could do without appearing to be a tyrant.
Ack! He’s waiting for me to respond… I can’t agree with him, or it would seem as though I was giving favors to the Claurence house. I also can’t disagree with him, since that would put to question why Edith is even here at all. Hrm…
After a small amount of internal deliberation, I decided to do as Earth politicians tended to do, and ignore the question, “The second prince? My apologies for your loss.”
It was a bit awkward of delivery but on the spot, it was the best I could come up with. Apparently and thankfully, it was enough. Count Ofnir stuck his hand on his daughter’s shoulder and gave her a light shove forward, “This is Hilda, my fourth daughter. It has come to my attention that you presently lack staff; she is knowledgeable enough to serve as an attendant.”
So he wants me to take his daughter as an attendant… Yea, that’s obviously not going to happen, but how to get out of it?
“Thank you for the offer Count Ofnir, but I fear I must decline; my staffing is a personal matter.”
He narrowed his eyes but did not press the issue further. When Edith cleared her throat and fixed him with a rather stern glare, he even stepped back before excusing himself.
What in the world? He seemed so sure of himself, but he totally just fled an actual twelve-year-old’s angry face? Was it something with what I said…?
There was no time to deliberate further, however, as the next contenders had entered the ring. Surprisingly, these ones were a boy and a girl my own apparent age.
“…Lord Gildeon and Lady Therisha, the first son and second daughter of Count Locke. They are in our year at the Royal Academy.” By her tone, even Edith seemed rather confused by what these two were doing here. She played it off like a light cough while the two of them bowed and curtsied as was appropriate.
Our year, but I don’t recall their faces…
Without my [Eidetic Memory] functioning, unless the memory was particularly standout much of the detail was lost. Like an idiot, I had been using the skill to record a lot of annoying things like the noble families and members. Only people I spent a lot of time with were properly remembered, otherwise Edith would not have to help me by acting as a herald.
After introducing themselves, it was Therisha who spoke first, and quite excitedly at that, “My lady, I am sorry!”
“…What…?” the fervor with which she apologized threw me for a loop and I let out a puzzled statement before I could stop myself.
Therisha looked around in a panic at my words, as though she couldn’t believe I did not remember… whatever it was she was apologizing about.
Now I’ve gone and done it. This is exactly what we were worried was going to happen… combined with my previous issues, I must look totally inept right now…
Still, it would not do to simply leave things as they were. Edith, whom I had checked from the corner of my eye, was showing no signs of having any idea what this was about.
So it happened while Edith wasn’t present; she would signal me somehow if she knew what this was. That means it happened while Edith was confined under house arrest… so Therisha is probably apologizing about being a bitch while I was having the fight with Dominic.
Obviously it was not her fault; Dominic’s charm had been influencing all the girls who shunned me. Likewise, I had not particularly minded being shunned at the time, my schedule was totally filled up with other matters leaving no room for feeling lonely.
But I can’t just leave it at that, can I?
“…Therisa, are you referring to the incident with my late ex-fiancé?”
A sharp nod and quivering lip.
She’s either very good at acting, or deathly terrified I’ll hold a grudge. In any case, I shouldn’t just forgive her… ‘something freely offered’ and all that, she wouldn’t trust me.
“I see. Well, the actions of you and our fellow girls were extremely hurtful. I am grateful you would take the opportunity to apologize, but I cannot bring myself to forgiveness…”
Her head sunk lower as a murmur rippled through the onlookers; though our voices were low, her body language made it obvious that something bad was happening.
I raised my voice enough that it would carry, a direct contradiction to how I had been asked to behave, “That said, while I cannot forgive you or our peers I also cannot in good faith condemn an entire generation. So, I will forget. In the future, please remember yourself, and seek to accept your fellow students rather than shun them.”
It took a few seconds, but an expression of relief washed over Therisha’s face. Even if I had not forgiven her, I basically had. She was finding it hard to speak, so her brother hurriedly said the requisite goodbyes for both of them and they made way for the next contenders. The next pair were more formerly neutral faction nobles, and as I would discover this category actually made up the majority of those who wanted to see me.
Evidently, Edith not recusing herself had the effect of opening up the doors to her own faction to come to say hello. The next large group consisted of the ones who wanted to play games and were largely from the second prince’s faction. That made sense in a way; they were bitter over losing their bet when Rupert killed their liege so they were grasping at straws to glean some small favor. Thanks in no small part to Edith’s deft assistance in maneuvering people around, I was able to dodge all such requests.
Though, if these lasted any longer than a few sentences, I would be totally trapped and make a massive mess of things.
If it weren’t for my nerves being completely fried, I might have been able to deal with one, two, or even three of the grifters. But running a gauntlet like this was utterly exhausting. It was fortunate that the two main subgroups were mixed up so that I could get a break from the latter. Though there was also a smattering of odd groups like Therisha and her brother as well, but they were by far in the minority.
The instant that Edith signaled to me that I could politely excuse myself without stirring any trouble, I stood and glanced at Sasha where she stood to the side of the venue. At my nod, she moved swiftly and invisibly through the crowd of guests in a manner only a servant could. When she arrived at my side she motioned that she had a message and, at my prompting leaned to my ear to whisper it.
There was no actual message though; this was a simple tactic that was an open secret. As long as I did not abuse it, having a servant ‘inform their master of a pressing issue’ was viewed as a polite way to leave social events slightly early. In my case, since the event was in my honor it would usually be in poor taste to do things this way. Usually; given how new my position was, Gustav predicted that the guests would assume I had become overwhelmed and taken leave before making a mistake.
Though, I already made far too many of those tonight.
Moving through the hallways of the palace towards my rooms, I felt my senses beginning to go numb. Tonight had been too much for me, and yet it was just the beginning. Going forward, I would have to deal with stuff like this all the time. Sure, perhaps it would not be so bad every time. But the people needing me to do things, wanting to get the most they could out of me, that was never going to go away again.
Something I’ll have to get used to. I can’t afford not to. What else can I do?
It wasn’t always this way. Sure, I might not have cared for going through all that but I would have been able to. Without feeling like I was constantly on the verge of messing everything up terribly.
When did I get like this…? Why do I suddenly feel so self-conscious about everything?
I’ve been more conscious about the consequences of my actions since the engagement with Rupert, but even then… No, that wasn’t when this all started. This all started when the events of the wedding reminded me… reminded me of Dominic… When he tried to…
Even now, alone in my room that line of thought caused me to shiver. My heart rate increased and my eyes darted around, searching for an escape from nothing.
I’m supposed to have the pride of a dragon… or something. Yet, I feel like everything I’m doing is inadequate. I wonder if there would be a way to get that judgment spell cast on me permanently? My ‘true self’ would certainly be more beneficial to everyone than the wreck I am right now.
At this point, I wasn’t even sure why Rupert had honored our engagement contract to the point of marrying me. There was a clause in place for annulling the whole thing, and he had only agreed because I was Winter’s Champion. There were no lies between us, so he was fully aware that I no longer held that title.
A connection to Rosial, Autumn’s Champion? He obviously, hopefully, wouldn’t be able to marry her. There’s no way I would allow it if he dared try. So is that why he’s gone ahead with everything, even though I’m such a failure?
“Stahlia, you did pretty well all things considered.”
It was Edith, she had evidently excused herself from the ceremonies, though given my own absence things were likely winding down as it was.
“Ha! Don’t patronize me, I know I screwed up our plan. I came across like a scared kid.”
She was silent, which was all I needed to hear to know that my assertation was correct.
“All the nobles now, they’re probably thinking of all the ways they can bend things to their advantage. ‘Oh the next queen is just a little girl, she’ll be so easy to bribe if we just say nice things and send her sweets!’ It will be you and Rupert and Gustav who have to pick up the pieces, for now, and forever!”
There was a lot more I wanted to say, but her continued silence was bearing down like the weight of an ocean. It was suffocating.
“Just leave me alone, please… I need to rest.”
Edith looked upset, probably because she realized that I was right; she was stuck cleaning up after me now. Still, even if she wanted to protest, she had technically been given a direct order to leave.
“No, I don’t think I will.”
She was glaring at me now, much angrier than she had earlier tonight.
“Is that really what you think you looked like? That isn’t what everyone else saw. Sure, you looked like a kid; by the gods you’re, we’re, twelve! But, you still managed to get up in front of everyone and petition the crown prince for a favor! Nobody but our group knows that was set up ahead of time!”
She took a step towards me, pushing past the doorway and entering my room proper.
“You, who was nothing more than a rather gifted frontier baron’s kid, are now engaged to the next king! Nobles might be asses, but they aren’t dumb! None of them expected anything from you, except to sit there quivering and terrified. Then there were all the people petitioning you for petty favors. Do you have any idea how terrified I was!? How scared I am all the time!?”
I glared back at her, “So what!? I should be able to do better! Sure, I might be twelve on my passport! But I’m pushing forty! You know that! Rupert knows that! The way I fell apart, there’s no excuse!”
“YOU HANDLED THINGS FINE!” The force of her shout nearly made the room shake, or perhaps it actually shook the room. I couldn’t tell. Then, she continued in a quieter voice.
“…You’re right, you weren’t perfect. But you were a hundred times better than anyone expected you to be. That includes his highness, and me.”
At that, she seemed to realize what she had just done and turned bright red.
“My apologies! I should not have acted like that… I hope you can rest well, good night.” With one final curtsy, my friend made to leave while I scrambled to regather my wits.
“Edith… Wait.” She paused, or more accurately she froze, “I’m… sorry I snapped. You didn’t deserve that… Thank you, for yelling at me.”
Once it was apparent that I had nothing else to say, she unfroze as if time had resumed.
“…I told you, I would help you get through all this because that’s what friends do right? Good night.”
“Good night.”
With that, I was left alone again, though now my heart was much calmer.
Edith picked her way to me through the crowd. In another few minutes, we would begin with the impromptu audiences. Though I wasn’t looking forward to it, this part was key to building up my reputation and establishing the basics of connections. The latter being something that I had failed rather miserably at during my time at the Academy, Edith aside.
Thankfully, this is just going to be a meet-and-greet sort of thing, since other than my connection to the Francois not many of the adult nobles took any interest in me… My parents probably have things worse, considering their standing.
I chanced a look at my father, who was still at the table we had been sitting at prior to me moving to the middle of the room. Very few people were approaching him, contrary to my expectations. It was likely that the capital nobles were not entirely sure of how to approach father; in principle they largely outranked him. But I outranked him as well as all of them. It was a rather unique set of circumstances, and the careful scheming nobility were loathe to be the one to make the first move.
“Lady Stahlia, are you holding up alright? You look unwell.” Edith’s voice caused me to turn around.
Ah right, I was supposed to excuse myself to a slightly more isolated part of the venue.
“I am feeling a bit ill, I think it would be a good idea to sit down for a bit.” Taking her cue, I made a quick excuse before falling back towards an ornate bench at the side of the room that had been placed here with my retreat in mind. Edith followed after a moment’s delay.
Ordinarily, it would be the two present duke’s right to introduce themselves first, but they had already recused themselves per Rupert’s request. I would be introduced to them formally at a later time though, so it was not like I had managed to escape. Edith was next in line by status, so we had a few moments before others would begin to approach.
Facing me so that her voice would be harder to pick up by the crowd, Edith did something rather unexpected.
“You’re holding up well, all things considered. Just a bit longer before you can excuse yourself completely.”
The odds that she was overheard were slim, but it was not nonexistent. If her words just now had been overheard, it would cause a small scandal or at least stir some minor rumors. No matter what, the tone used was improper considering our relevant positions.
I must be a lot worse than I thought I was if she’s willing to take a risk like that to try and calm me down… Sorry Edith.
Instead of forcing her into greater risk with a vague or even direct response, I forced a faint smile onto my face and nodded lightly. If anyone happened to be watching, it would simply look like she had said or asked something that I took in good humor. Given our established friendship, that much should go over just fine.
For some reason though, Edith gave me a rather cross look before sighing, “In any case, I will do what I can to blunt this next part.”
Considering the circumstances, she was being a bit too curt. But with what I was putting her through, that much was understandable, “Then, who is first?”
Edith turned so she could see the small crowd of people forming a few meters away from us, “Count Garrus, formerly one of the neutral nobles. He will likely seek simply to greet you…”
She trailed off as Count Garrus stepped closer out of the crowd. Stepping towards me, Edith greeted him first with a respectful half curtsy. He returned the greeting with a bow of his own, then a full bow towards me.
“Lady Stahlia, Count Garrus together with his wife, Lady Garrus.” Edith deftly inserted her as my pseudo herald, while skillfully ignoring the mildly annoyed look she received from a few of those in the crowd.
Those are faces I should remember; they are probably the ones that would try to manipulate and play word games with me to get favors.
Fortunately, I still had the presence of mind to recognize such an obvious fact even with my shot nerves.
Thank you Edith, for managing to give me some degree of forewarning about which ones to look out for, even with my general ineptitude tonight.
As it turned out, my friend and aide had been correct about the current Count and Countess; they really were just here to greet me.
“Well, we will not take up any more of your time your highness, my wife simply wished to see you up close while she had the chance.”
To his frank statement, I gave a half bow. Hopefully the relief I was feeling at the first audience being over would not show through, “Lady Garrus, it was a pleasure to meet you as well.”
Short and to the point, if I don’t say much of anything I can’t accidentally say too much.
With the pleasantries concluded the first assailants stepped aside, clearing the field for the next contender. The next to approach were among those who I had marked as dangerous; a middle-aged man and his… well, I hopped it was his daughter.
Edith took a short step to the side, as though she was shifting her weight slightly, effectively cutting the man off from coming too close to me, “Lady Stahlia, Count Ofnir together with his daughter. Formerly of the Second Prince’s faction.”
The count gave Edith a scathing look masked as a pleasant smile, “Well, what helpful friends you have, my lady.”
Something about the way he was speaking triggered all of my red flags, but he was not being outwardly disrespectful so there was little I could do without appearing to be a tyrant.
Ack! He’s waiting for me to respond… I can’t agree with him, or it would seem as though I was giving favors to the Claurence house. I also can’t disagree with him, since that would put to question why Edith is even here at all. Hrm…
After a small amount of internal deliberation, I decided to do as Earth politicians tended to do, and ignore the question, “The second prince? My apologies for your loss.”
It was a bit awkward of delivery but on the spot, it was the best I could come up with. Apparently and thankfully, it was enough. Count Ofnir stuck his hand on his daughter’s shoulder and gave her a light shove forward, “This is Hilda, my fourth daughter. It has come to my attention that you presently lack staff; she is knowledgeable enough to serve as an attendant.”
So he wants me to take his daughter as an attendant… Yea, that’s obviously not going to happen, but how to get out of it?
“Thank you for the offer Count Ofnir, but I fear I must decline; my staffing is a personal matter.”
He narrowed his eyes but did not press the issue further. When Edith cleared her throat and fixed him with a rather stern glare, he even stepped back before excusing himself.
What in the world? He seemed so sure of himself, but he totally just fled an actual twelve-year-old’s angry face? Was it something with what I said…?
There was no time to deliberate further, however, as the next contenders had entered the ring. Surprisingly, these ones were a boy and a girl my own apparent age.
“…Lord Gildeon and Lady Therisha, the first son and second daughter of Count Locke. They are in our year at the Royal Academy.” By her tone, even Edith seemed rather confused by what these two were doing here. She played it off like a light cough while the two of them bowed and curtsied as was appropriate.
Our year, but I don’t recall their faces…
Without my [Eidetic Memory] functioning, unless the memory was particularly standout much of the detail was lost. Like an idiot, I had been using the skill to record a lot of annoying things like the noble families and members. Only people I spent a lot of time with were properly remembered, otherwise Edith would not have to help me by acting as a herald.
After introducing themselves, it was Therisha who spoke first, and quite excitedly at that, “My lady, I am sorry!”
“…What…?” the fervor with which she apologized threw me for a loop and I let out a puzzled statement before I could stop myself.
Therisha looked around in a panic at my words, as though she couldn’t believe I did not remember… whatever it was she was apologizing about.
Now I’ve gone and done it. This is exactly what we were worried was going to happen… combined with my previous issues, I must look totally inept right now…
Still, it would not do to simply leave things as they were. Edith, whom I had checked from the corner of my eye, was showing no signs of having any idea what this was about.
So it happened while Edith wasn’t present; she would signal me somehow if she knew what this was. That means it happened while Edith was confined under house arrest… so Therisha is probably apologizing about being a bitch while I was having the fight with Dominic.
Obviously it was not her fault; Dominic’s charm had been influencing all the girls who shunned me. Likewise, I had not particularly minded being shunned at the time, my schedule was totally filled up with other matters leaving no room for feeling lonely.
But I can’t just leave it at that, can I?
“…Therisa, are you referring to the incident with my late ex-fiancé?”
A sharp nod and quivering lip.
She’s either very good at acting, or deathly terrified I’ll hold a grudge. In any case, I shouldn’t just forgive her… ‘something freely offered’ and all that, she wouldn’t trust me.
“I see. Well, the actions of you and our fellow girls were extremely hurtful. I am grateful you would take the opportunity to apologize, but I cannot bring myself to forgiveness…”
Her head sunk lower as a murmur rippled through the onlookers; though our voices were low, her body language made it obvious that something bad was happening.
I raised my voice enough that it would carry, a direct contradiction to how I had been asked to behave, “That said, while I cannot forgive you or our peers I also cannot in good faith condemn an entire generation. So, I will forget. In the future, please remember yourself, and seek to accept your fellow students rather than shun them.”
It took a few seconds, but an expression of relief washed over Therisha’s face. Even if I had not forgiven her, I basically had. She was finding it hard to speak, so her brother hurriedly said the requisite goodbyes for both of them and they made way for the next contenders. The next pair were more formerly neutral faction nobles, and as I would discover this category actually made up the majority of those who wanted to see me.
Evidently, Edith not recusing herself had the effect of opening up the doors to her own faction to come to say hello. The next large group consisted of the ones who wanted to play games and were largely from the second prince’s faction. That made sense in a way; they were bitter over losing their bet when Rupert killed their liege so they were grasping at straws to glean some small favor. Thanks in no small part to Edith’s deft assistance in maneuvering people around, I was able to dodge all such requests.
Though, if these lasted any longer than a few sentences, I would be totally trapped and make a massive mess of things.
If it weren’t for my nerves being completely fried, I might have been able to deal with one, two, or even three of the grifters. But running a gauntlet like this was utterly exhausting. It was fortunate that the two main subgroups were mixed up so that I could get a break from the latter. Though there was also a smattering of odd groups like Therisha and her brother as well, but they were by far in the minority.
The instant that Edith signaled to me that I could politely excuse myself without stirring any trouble, I stood and glanced at Sasha where she stood to the side of the venue. At my nod, she moved swiftly and invisibly through the crowd of guests in a manner only a servant could. When she arrived at my side she motioned that she had a message and, at my prompting leaned to my ear to whisper it.
There was no actual message though; this was a simple tactic that was an open secret. As long as I did not abuse it, having a servant ‘inform their master of a pressing issue’ was viewed as a polite way to leave social events slightly early. In my case, since the event was in my honor it would usually be in poor taste to do things this way. Usually; given how new my position was, Gustav predicted that the guests would assume I had become overwhelmed and taken leave before making a mistake.
Though, I already made far too many of those tonight.
Moving through the hallways of the palace towards my rooms, I felt my senses beginning to go numb. Tonight had been too much for me, and yet it was just the beginning. Going forward, I would have to deal with stuff like this all the time. Sure, perhaps it would not be so bad every time. But the people needing me to do things, wanting to get the most they could out of me, that was never going to go away again.
Something I’ll have to get used to. I can’t afford not to. What else can I do?
It wasn’t always this way. Sure, I might not have cared for going through all that but I would have been able to. Without feeling like I was constantly on the verge of messing everything up terribly.
When did I get like this…? Why do I suddenly feel so self-conscious about everything?
I’ve been more conscious about the consequences of my actions since the engagement with Rupert, but even then… No, that wasn’t when this all started. This all started when the events of the wedding reminded me… reminded me of Dominic… When he tried to…
Even now, alone in my room that line of thought caused me to shiver. My heart rate increased and my eyes darted around, searching for an escape from nothing.
I’m supposed to have the pride of a dragon… or something. Yet, I feel like everything I’m doing is inadequate. I wonder if there would be a way to get that judgment spell cast on me permanently? My ‘true self’ would certainly be more beneficial to everyone than the wreck I am right now.
At this point, I wasn’t even sure why Rupert had honored our engagement contract to the point of marrying me. There was a clause in place for annulling the whole thing, and he had only agreed because I was Winter’s Champion. There were no lies between us, so he was fully aware that I no longer held that title.
A connection to Rosial, Autumn’s Champion? He obviously, hopefully, wouldn’t be able to marry her. There’s no way I would allow it if he dared try. So is that why he’s gone ahead with everything, even though I’m such a failure?
“Stahlia, you did pretty well all things considered.”
It was Edith, she had evidently excused herself from the ceremonies, though given my own absence things were likely winding down as it was.
“Ha! Don’t patronize me, I know I screwed up our plan. I came across like a scared kid.”
She was silent, which was all I needed to hear to know that my assertation was correct.
“All the nobles now, they’re probably thinking of all the ways they can bend things to their advantage. ‘Oh the next queen is just a little girl, she’ll be so easy to bribe if we just say nice things and send her sweets!’ It will be you and Rupert and Gustav who have to pick up the pieces, for now, and forever!”
There was a lot more I wanted to say, but her continued silence was bearing down like the weight of an ocean. It was suffocating.
“Just leave me alone, please… I need to rest.”
Edith looked upset, probably because she realized that I was right; she was stuck cleaning up after me now. Still, even if she wanted to protest, she had technically been given a direct order to leave.
“No, I don’t think I will.”
She was glaring at me now, much angrier than she had earlier tonight.
“Is that really what you think you looked like? That isn’t what everyone else saw. Sure, you looked like a kid; by the gods you’re, we’re, twelve! But, you still managed to get up in front of everyone and petition the crown prince for a favor! Nobody but our group knows that was set up ahead of time!”
She took a step towards me, pushing past the doorway and entering my room proper.
“You, who was nothing more than a rather gifted frontier baron’s kid, are now engaged to the next king! Nobles might be asses, but they aren’t dumb! None of them expected anything from you, except to sit there quivering and terrified. Then there were all the people petitioning you for petty favors. Do you have any idea how terrified I was!? How scared I am all the time!?”
I glared back at her, “So what!? I should be able to do better! Sure, I might be twelve on my passport! But I’m pushing forty! You know that! Rupert knows that! The way I fell apart, there’s no excuse!”
“YOU HANDLED THINGS FINE!” The force of her shout nearly made the room shake, or perhaps it actually shook the room. I couldn’t tell. Then, she continued in a quieter voice.
“…You’re right, you weren’t perfect. But you were a hundred times better than anyone expected you to be. That includes his highness, and me.”
At that, she seemed to realize what she had just done and turned bright red.
“My apologies! I should not have acted like that… I hope you can rest well, good night.” With one final curtsy, my friend made to leave while I scrambled to regather my wits.
“Edith… Wait.” She paused, or more accurately she froze, “I’m… sorry I snapped. You didn’t deserve that… Thank you, for yelling at me.”
Once it was apparent that I had nothing else to say, she unfroze as if time had resumed.
“…I told you, I would help you get through all this because that’s what friends do right? Good night.”
“Good night.”
With that, I was left alone again, though now my heart was much calmer.
