Chapter 30.3
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After this incident, they followed the rampart to the so-called Administrative Bureau for Inhabitants, joined another line, and after an hour of waiting, managed to get information on how to acquire the permit intended for other ethnic groups.
However, what it allowed them to understand was the harsh reality that it would be very hard to acquire a permit or identification papers at present.
First, as for the permit: this was something granted to employees working in the first-class district and businessmen, and only nobles, including the king, possessed the right to issue it.
In other words, if you wanted a permit, you had to ask a noble.
Needless to say, the two had no nobles among their acquaintances. In other words, you could describe this option as impossible for them.
Of course they had the alternative of offering their services to a noble by working as officials or joining the noble’s private army. This would possibly allow them to get their hands on a permit, but not only would it require quite some time, but the acquisition of a permit was not set in stone either. Furthermore, seeing how Aileen was almost taken away because of her beauty during their travels so far, Kei was not willing to try this plan. After all, they would not know what might happen.
So, what about the identification papers on the other hand?
They were basically issued in every city, and obtaining them was equal to obtaining the right of citizenship. When you registered, you were guaranteed administrative rights as an individual, however, you were also burdened with taxes and other duties. For example, if you wanted to open up a stall in Urvan, you would need citizenship, and you would have to pay a certain percentage of your sales on top of the taxes.
Now, as for the acquisition of citizenship — it was complicated in its own way. To the point that Kei gave up on any attempts to comprehend it midway thanks to his limited vocabulary when it came to matters of law and real estate.
But to roughly sum up the conditions for acquiring citizenship:
Command of English on a conversational level, enough education to understand the tax system, and a certain skill in reading and writing.
(These regulations apply to other ethnic groups)
Provide proof that you have secured a residence in the urban area for more than one year.
(Title creed of a house, lease agreement of a rented house, or in the case of freeloading, a written permit from the house owner, are all valid. However, inns are excluded. Camping is also not recognized.)
Paying three years’ worth of taxes in advance, or at least four years of experience working as an official in Urvan.
(Officials, soldiers serving in a noble’s private army, and mercenaries need an official document from their employer, proving their affiliation.)
At least five letters of recommendation from Urvan citizens.
(Guarantors need to be trustworthy.)
On top of all that, there was also sex, age, origin, status, whether or not you had a noble’s recommendation, marriage with an Urvan citizen, and many other conditions, which changed the difficulty of acquisition to a degree. Incidentally, in Kei and Aileen’s case, their origins were considered to be Grassland and Snowland, which would actually worsen their chances.
Once the two returned to HangedBug in the evening and enjoyed dinner together, they headed to their room and had a talk despite exhaustion heavily weighing down on them.
“Well, we have no problem with English, and getting a certificate of good conduct shouldn’t be a problem either.”
“Right.”
“Prepaying the taxes… should be possible as well, right, Kei?”
“Yeah. There’s the income from the skin of the Grande Urs, and if that’s not enough, we could also sell some gems.”
“Which leaves…”
“Securing a house, and…”
“”Recommendation from five citizens…””
Those words felt like a heavy burden pressing down on their chests.
It shouldn’t be impossible to get a residence and the recommendations. If they used their connections with Holland, it might work out surprisingly well. However, it was clear as day that things would not be such smooth sailing in an exclusive society like Urvan.
What a pain.
Assailed by an intense pang of gloom, Kei let his body fall backwards on the bed he was sitting on. Discovering that, Aileen stopped enjoying the light breeze at the window and pounced at him like a cat which had found a toy.
“Move back a bit.”
“O-Okay.”
She drove Kei towards the wall, leaning back and fully entrusting her delicate body to his arms.
“……”
Silence dominated the room for a short while.
“…For the time being, let’s go ask Holland tomorrow.”
“Okay…”
Aileen sighed while gently holding onto Kei’s arm which wrapped around her body. He used his other hand to unconsciously brush her beautiful golden hair while gazing at the lamplight in a daze.
Hazily…
Gently…
“…I kinda don’t care anymore.” Aileen suddenly declared, “It’s complicated and tiresome. How about we give up on this whole investigation and go back to Satyna. You’ll work as a hunter, Kei, and I’ll guard Lily or something…”
She was looking in the same direction he was staring, and added while hiding her expression from him, “Even if we can’t find out how we came here, we can still live on…”
This made Kei realize that it was time for them to talk.
“…Hey, Aileen.”
He stopped brushing her head, grasped her shoulder, and turned her around before she could react.
Aileen’s eyes widened at his sudden and forceful action.
“W-What are you-?”
“Aileen. What… What do you want?” His eyes fixed on her wavering blue eyes. “Do you want to stay in this world? Or do you want to return?”
He felt like he heard her heart furiously thump in response.
“…I…”
Her voice trembled, so weakly as you’d never imagine it from her usual behavior. She averted her eyes, seemingly unable to endure Kei’s gaze.
“I…”
Accepting her silence, Kei gently hugged her.
“…I would be happy if you stayed with me, Aileen.” He spoke quietly, yet clearly.
He felt how Aileen held her breath at his chest.
“But…in the end, I want you to decide. What is it that you want to do… from now on.”
Aileen stayed silent. But Kei continued anyway.
“Our circumstances are too different, so I can understand you being worried about it. We don’t know why we came here, nor what we’d need to do to get back. Anyone would usually feel anxious and worried about this.
I… I, at the very least, have no intention of going back. But even so, I want to know why I came here. Because calling it a simple accident or miracle is not enough of an explanation for the current situation…”
“…Yeah.”
Aileen responded with a weak nod.
“So, once we know everything, the underlying reason and the means to go back… I want you to decide, Aileen.”
With those words, he gently stroked her head.
“It’ll be fine for you to decide at that time. But…let’s stay together until then.”
And if possible, afterwards as well, he kept those words to himself.
“Okay… Okay.”
Nodding repeatedly at his chest, Aileen’s voice had become tear-choked at some point. However, currently Kei had no other choice than silently holding her tightly.
Is it arrogance?
Kei surrendered himself to his thoughts within this loneliness of sorts.
Supposedly…
Supposedly, if I tell her to abandon the old world and live here with me, she’ll very likely follow my wish as long as I entreat her passionately.
However, would that be alright? Is it okay to force her like that? Is it fine to simply push my own wishes on her?
“Hic…gh…”
Seeing her sob full of worry and distress, the answer was clear.
From now on, there will certainly come a day when we’re going to regret something. But if so, I want those regrets to be something I can fully accept deep down at least.
Those were Kei’s thoughts.
If Aileen chose to stay in this world on the spur of the moment, she would surely regret it one day.
It would be fine now. They could spend their days happily together. But what about ten years later? Twenty years later? Would it be the same?
Even if she tried to act at that point, it would be far too late for anything.
She had to act now.
She had to act now — when the decision was still not set in stone.
Arriving at one answer after worrying and brooding over it — this would allow her to accept her conclusion, even if she were to regret that decision later on.
Kei wanted her to do that.
While hoping that her final answer would be to stay together with him.
…Look at me drown in self-satisfaction.
He sneered in his mind. His feelings were too violent to simply call them self-deprecation.
He was saying he did not want to force her, yet he was hoping that she would give up on the idea of going back.
Because that way, he would have no regrets?
It was self-centered, egoistic, or perhaps — what else if not arrogance?
But still.
Kei hoped that Aileen would do so.
If…
He closed his eyes and thought.
If Aileen desires to go back…
At that moment…at that moment, he…
“I…”
Aileen, who seemed to have stopped crying, opened her mouth.
“Honestly, I don’t know whether I want to return or not.”
She looked up to Kei with teary eyes, frightened. He silently nodded in reply.
“…I have a family of four. Dad, mom, and big sister…they’re all kind. But…”
She curled up as if to endure the cold.
“I’m sure you’ve vaguely sensed it, Kei. I used to do gymnastics when I was little. I was quite skilled at it too, you see… I’ve even won a junior tournament. I kept doing my best… thinking that I might even appear in the Olympics. I kept doing my best…”
Her voice shifted back and forth, between bright and gloomy.
“But…there was an accident. I lost my legs.” She laughed feebly. “Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? Something you’d see in a drama… I didn’t want to believe it either. That it was… all over. There had been talks about transplants based on cloning technology in the past, right? I decided to bet on that possibility. I’ve tried a bunch of things, like trying to become a tester for it… but in the end, the project was banned due to religious problems and treaties. As time passed, my body senses also deteriorated… so, one day, I thought, Ah, it’s already impossible. And once you think that even once, there’s no going back. And from then on, I always stayed in my room.”
She spoke indifferently with her face buried in Kei’s chest. She then took a little break.
“…Unprecedented realism.”
She finally muttered, “…You weren’t the only one to get lured by that sales pitch, Kei,” abruptly lifting her face that exhibited a smile so fleeting that it was painful to look at. “…But compared to you, I was still way better off. I’ve always been thinking that I was some tragic heroine. But when I heard your story after we came here, I… I…”
“That’s not true.” Kei interjected and hugged her body tightly. “…You’re wrong.”
He repeated near her ear. In response, she strengthened her hug, remaining silent.
Kei lost everything before he managed to gain a single thing.
Aileen lost everything she had obtained by her own efforts.
Which would be more painful?
Kei wondered genuinely.
He had not experienced what she had, so he could not compare.
However — he could imagine it.
“…It must have been painful.”
He muttered, and Aileen silently clung to him.
Increasing her grip, further and further…
“……”
After this, both stayed silent for a while.
“…That’s why I’m afraid to go back,” Aileen revealed her feelings at long last. “But not being able to see my dad, mom, and big sister anymore is also painful.”
She trembled and timidly looked up.
“…I’m still lost…I still can’t find an answer at all, but still…” Her eyes filled with tears stared at Kei. “Will you stay by my side until I find my answer?”
He did not waver for a moment.
“Yes.” He nodded strongly. “Let’s stay together.”
Those words came from the depth of his very soul.
“…Thank you.”
Her fleeting smile was adorned with tears.
And then, without it being clear who had initiated it, their lips overlapped. Comfortably and pleasantly, as if they were embracing each others’ very being.
But today, both were extremely tired.
And before long, sleeping breaths started to fill the room.
A gust of wind blew in through the window, extinguishing the fire in the lamp. Shrouded in darkness, a calm atmosphere wrapped up the room.
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After this incident, they followed the rampart to the so-called Administrative Bureau for Inhabitants, joined another line, and after an hour of waiting, managed to get information on how to acquire the permit intended for other ethnic groups.
However, what it allowed them to understand was the harsh reality that it would be very hard to acquire a permit or identification papers at present.
First, as for the permit: this was something granted to employees working in the first-class district and businessmen, and only nobles, including the king, possessed the right to issue it.
In other words, if you wanted a permit, you had to ask a noble.
Needless to say, the two had no nobles among their acquaintances. In other words, you could describe this option as impossible for them.
Of course they had the alternative of offering their services to a noble by working as officials or joining the noble’s private army. This would possibly allow them to get their hands on a permit, but not only would it require quite some time, but the acquisition of a permit was not set in stone either. Furthermore, seeing how Aileen was almost taken away because of her beauty during their travels so far, Kei was not willing to try this plan. After all, they would not know what might happen.
So, what about the identification papers on the other hand?
They were basically issued in every city, and obtaining them was equal to obtaining the right of citizenship. When you registered, you were guaranteed administrative rights as an individual, however, you were also burdened with taxes and other duties. For example, if you wanted to open up a stall in Urvan, you would need citizenship, and you would have to pay a certain percentage of your sales on top of the taxes.
Now, as for the acquisition of citizenship — it was complicated in its own way. To the point that Kei gave up on any attempts to comprehend it midway thanks to his limited vocabulary when it came to matters of law and real estate.
But to roughly sum up the conditions for acquiring citizenship:
Command of English on a conversational level, enough education to understand the tax system, and a certain skill in reading and writing.
(These regulations apply to other ethnic groups)
Provide proof that you have secured a residence in the urban area for more than one year.
(Title creed of a house, lease agreement of a rented house, or in the case of freeloading, a written permit from the house owner, are all valid. However, inns are excluded. Camping is also not recognized.)
Paying three years’ worth of taxes in advance, or at least four years of experience working as an official in Urvan.
(Officials, soldiers serving in a noble’s private army, and mercenaries need an official document from their employer, proving their affiliation.)
At least five letters of recommendation from Urvan citizens.
(Guarantors need to be trustworthy.)
On top of all that, there was also sex, age, origin, status, whether or not you had a noble’s recommendation, marriage with an Urvan citizen, and many other conditions, which changed the difficulty of acquisition to a degree. Incidentally, in Kei and Aileen’s case, their origins were considered to be Grassland and Snowland, which would actually worsen their chances.
Once the two returned to HangedBug in the evening and enjoyed dinner together, they headed to their room and had a talk despite exhaustion heavily weighing down on them.
“Well, we have no problem with English, and getting a certificate of good conduct shouldn’t be a problem either.”
“Right.”
“Prepaying the taxes… should be possible as well, right, Kei?”
“Yeah. There’s the income from the skin of the Grande Urs, and if that’s not enough, we could also sell some gems.”
“Which leaves…”
“Securing a house, and…”
“”Recommendation from five citizens…””
Those words felt like a heavy burden pressing down on their chests.
It shouldn’t be impossible to get a residence and the recommendations. If they used their connections with Holland, it might work out surprisingly well. However, it was clear as day that things would not be such smooth sailing in an exclusive society like Urvan.
What a pain.
Assailed by an intense pang of gloom, Kei let his body fall backwards on the bed he was sitting on. Discovering that, Aileen stopped enjoying the light breeze at the window and pounced at him like a cat which had found a toy.
“Move back a bit.”
“O-Okay.”
She drove Kei towards the wall, leaning back and fully entrusting her delicate body to his arms.
“……”
Silence dominated the room for a short while.
“…For the time being, let’s go ask Holland tomorrow.”
“Okay…”
Aileen sighed while gently holding onto Kei’s arm which wrapped around her body. He used his other hand to unconsciously brush her beautiful golden hair while gazing at the lamplight in a daze.
Hazily…
Gently…
“…I kinda don’t care anymore.” Aileen suddenly declared, “It’s complicated and tiresome. How about we give up on this whole investigation and go back to Satyna. You’ll work as a hunter, Kei, and I’ll guard Lily or something…”
She was looking in the same direction he was staring, and added while hiding her expression from him, “Even if we can’t find out how we came here, we can still live on…”
This made Kei realize that it was time for them to talk.
“…Hey, Aileen.”
He stopped brushing her head, grasped her shoulder, and turned her around before she could react.
Aileen’s eyes widened at his sudden and forceful action.
“W-What are you-?”
“Aileen. What… What do you want?” His eyes fixed on her wavering blue eyes. “Do you want to stay in this world? Or do you want to return?”
He felt like he heard her heart furiously thump in response.
“…I…”
Her voice trembled, so weakly as you’d never imagine it from her usual behavior. She averted her eyes, seemingly unable to endure Kei’s gaze.
“I…”
Accepting her silence, Kei gently hugged her.
“…I would be happy if you stayed with me, Aileen.” He spoke quietly, yet clearly.
He felt how Aileen held her breath at his chest.
“But…in the end, I want you to decide. What is it that you want to do… from now on.”
Aileen stayed silent. But Kei continued anyway.
“Our circumstances are too different, so I can understand you being worried about it. We don’t know why we came here, nor what we’d need to do to get back. Anyone would usually feel anxious and worried about this.
I… I, at the very least, have no intention of going back. But even so, I want to know why I came here. Because calling it a simple accident or miracle is not enough of an explanation for the current situation…”
“…Yeah.”
Aileen responded with a weak nod.
“So, once we know everything, the underlying reason and the means to go back… I want you to decide, Aileen.”
With those words, he gently stroked her head.
“It’ll be fine for you to decide at that time. But…let’s stay together until then.”
And if possible, afterwards as well, he kept those words to himself.
“Okay… Okay.”
Nodding repeatedly at his chest, Aileen’s voice had become tear-choked at some point. However, currently Kei had no other choice than silently holding her tightly.
Is it arrogance?
Kei surrendered himself to his thoughts within this loneliness of sorts.
Supposedly…
Supposedly, if I tell her to abandon the old world and live here with me, she’ll very likely follow my wish as long as I entreat her passionately.
However, would that be alright? Is it okay to force her like that? Is it fine to simply push my own wishes on her?
“Hic…gh…”
Seeing her sob full of worry and distress, the answer was clear.
From now on, there will certainly come a day when we’re going to regret something. But if so, I want those regrets to be something I can fully accept deep down at least.
Those were Kei’s thoughts.
If Aileen chose to stay in this world on the spur of the moment, she would surely regret it one day.
It would be fine now. They could spend their days happily together. But what about ten years later? Twenty years later? Would it be the same?
Even if she tried to act at that point, it would be far too late for anything.
She had to act now.
She had to act now — when the decision was still not set in stone.
Arriving at one answer after worrying and brooding over it — this would allow her to accept her conclusion, even if she were to regret that decision later on.
Kei wanted her to do that.
While hoping that her final answer would be to stay together with him.
…Look at me drown in self-satisfaction.
He sneered in his mind. His feelings were too violent to simply call them self-deprecation.
He was saying he did not want to force her, yet he was hoping that she would give up on the idea of going back.
Because that way, he would have no regrets?
It was self-centered, egoistic, or perhaps — what else if not arrogance?
But still.
Kei hoped that Aileen would do so.
If…
He closed his eyes and thought.
If Aileen desires to go back…
At that moment…at that moment, he…
“I…”
Aileen, who seemed to have stopped crying, opened her mouth.
“Honestly, I don’t know whether I want to return or not.”
She looked up to Kei with teary eyes, frightened. He silently nodded in reply.
“…I have a family of four. Dad, mom, and big sister…they’re all kind. But…”
She curled up as if to endure the cold.
“I’m sure you’ve vaguely sensed it, Kei. I used to do gymnastics when I was little. I was quite skilled at it too, you see… I’ve even won a junior tournament. I kept doing my best… thinking that I might even appear in the Olympics. I kept doing my best…”
Her voice shifted back and forth, between bright and gloomy.
“But…there was an accident. I lost my legs.” She laughed feebly. “Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? Something you’d see in a drama… I didn’t want to believe it either. That it was… all over. There had been talks about transplants based on cloning technology in the past, right? I decided to bet on that possibility. I’ve tried a bunch of things, like trying to become a tester for it… but in the end, the project was banned due to religious problems and treaties. As time passed, my body senses also deteriorated… so, one day, I thought, Ah, it’s already impossible. And once you think that even once, there’s no going back. And from then on, I always stayed in my room.”
She spoke indifferently with her face buried in Kei’s chest. She then took a little break.
“…Unprecedented realism.”
She finally muttered, “…You weren’t the only one to get lured by that sales pitch, Kei,” abruptly lifting her face that exhibited a smile so fleeting that it was painful to look at. “…But compared to you, I was still way better off. I’ve always been thinking that I was some tragic heroine. But when I heard your story after we came here, I… I…”
“That’s not true.” Kei interjected and hugged her body tightly. “…You’re wrong.”
He repeated near her ear. In response, she strengthened her hug, remaining silent.
Kei lost everything before he managed to gain a single thing.
Aileen lost everything she had obtained by her own efforts.
Which would be more painful?
Kei wondered genuinely.
He had not experienced what she had, so he could not compare.
However — he could imagine it.
“…It must have been painful.”
He muttered, and Aileen silently clung to him.
Increasing her grip, further and further…
“……”
After this, both stayed silent for a while.
“…That’s why I’m afraid to go back,” Aileen revealed her feelings at long last. “But not being able to see my dad, mom, and big sister anymore is also painful.”
She trembled and timidly looked up.
“…I’m still lost…I still can’t find an answer at all, but still…” Her eyes filled with tears stared at Kei. “Will you stay by my side until I find my answer?”
He did not waver for a moment.
“Yes.” He nodded strongly. “Let’s stay together.”
Those words came from the depth of his very soul.
“…Thank you.”
Her fleeting smile was adorned with tears.
And then, without it being clear who had initiated it, their lips overlapped. Comfortably and pleasantly, as if they were embracing each others’ very being.
But today, both were extremely tired.
And before long, sleeping breaths started to fill the room.
A gust of wind blew in through the window, extinguishing the fire in the lamp. Shrouded in darkness, a calm atmosphere wrapped up the room.
After this incident, they followed the rampart to the so-calledAdministrative Bureau for Inhabitants, joined another line, and after an hour of waiting, managed to get information on how to acquire the permit intended for other ethnic groups.However, what it allowed them to understand was the harsh reality that it would be very hard to acquire a permit or identification papers at present.First, as for the permit: this was something granted to employees working in the first-class district and businessmen, and only nobles, including the king, possessed the right to issue it.In other words, if you wanted a permit, you had to ask a noble.Needless to say, the two had no nobles among their acquaintances. In other words, you could describe this option as impossible for them.Of course they had the alternative of offering their services to a noble by working as officials or joining the noble's private army. This would possibly allow them to get their hands on a permit, but not only would it require quite some time, but the acquisition of a permit was not set in stone either. Furthermore, seeing how Aileen was almosttaken awaybecause of her beauty during their travels so far, Kei was not willing to try this plan. After all, they would not know what might happen.So, what about the identification papers on the other hand?They were basically issued in every city, and obtaining them was equal to obtaining the right of citizenship. When you registered, you were guaranteed administrative rights as an individual, however, you were also burdened with taxes and other duties. For example, if you wanted to open up a stall in Urvan, you would need citizenship, and you would have to pay a certain percentage of your sales on top of the taxes.Now, as for the acquisition of citizenship it was complicated in its own way. To the point that Kei gave up on any attempts to comprehend it midway thanks to his limited vocabulary when it came to matters of law and real estate.But to roughly sum up the conditions for acquiring citizenship:Command of English on a conversational level, enough education to understand the tax system, and a certain skill in reading and writing.These regulations apply to other ethnic groupsProvide proof that you have secured a residence in the urban area for more than one year.Title creed of a house, lease agreement of a rented house, or in the case of freeloading, a written permit from the house owner, are all valid. However, inns are excluded. Camping is also not recognized.Paying three years' worth of taxes in advance, or at least four years of experience working as an official in Urvan.Officials, soldiers serving in a noble's private army, and mercenaries need an official document from their employer, proving their affiliation.At least five letters of recommendation from Urvan citizens.Guarantors need to be trustworthy.On top of all that, there was also sex, age, origin, status, whether or not you had a noble's recommendation, marriage with an Urvan citizen, and many other conditions, which changed the difficulty of acquisition to a degree. Incidentally, in Kei and Aileen's case, their origins were considered to be Grassland and Snowland, which would actually worsen their chances.Once the two returned to HangedBug in the evening and enjoyed dinner together, they headed to their room and had a talk despite exhaustion heavily weighing down on them.Well, we have no problem with English, and getting a certificate of good conduct shouldn't be a problem either.Right.Prepaying the taxes should be possible as well, right, Kei?Yeah. There's the income from the skin of theGrande Urs, and if that's not enough, we could also sell some gems.Which leavesSecuring a house, andRecommendation from five citizensThose words felt like a heavy burden pressing down on their chests.It shouldn't be impossible to get a residence and the recommendations. If they used their connections with Holland, it might work out surprisingly well. However, it was clear as day that things would not be such smooth sailing in an exclusive society like Urvan.What a pain.Assailed by an intense pang of gloom, Kei let his body fall backwards on the bed he was sitting on. Discovering that, Aileen stopped enjoying the light breeze at the window and pounced at him like a cat which had found a toy.Move back a bit.O-Okay.She drove Kei towards the wall, leaning back and fully entrusting her delicate body to his arms.Silence dominated the room for a short while.For the time being, let's go ask Holland tomorrow.OkayAileen sighed while gently holding onto Kei's arm which wrapped around her body. He used his other hand to unconsciously brush her beautiful golden hair while gazing at the lamplight in a daze.HazilyGentlyI kinda don't care anymore. Aileen suddenly declared, It's complicated and tiresome. How about we give up on this whole investigation and go back to Satyna. You'll work as a hunter, Kei, and I'll guard Lily or somethingShe was looking in the same direction he was staring, and added while hiding her expression from him, Even if we can't find out how we came here, we can still live onThis made Kei realize that it was time for them to talk.Hey, Aileen.He stopped brushing her head, grasped her shoulder, and turned her around before she could react.Aileen's eyes widened at his sudden and forceful action.W-What are you-?Aileen. What What do you want? His eyes fixed on her wavering blue eyes. Do you want to stay in this world? Or do you want to return?He felt like he heard her heart furiously thump in response.IHer voice trembled, so weakly as you'd never imagine it from her usual behavior. She averted her eyes, seemingly unable to endure Kei's gaze.IAccepting her silence, Kei gently hugged her.I would be happy if you stayed with me, Aileen. He spoke quietly, yet clearly.He felt how Aileen held her breath at his chest.Butin the end, I want you to decide. What is it that you want to do from now on.Aileen stayed silent. But Kei continued anyway.Our circumstances are too different, so I can understand you being worried about it. We don't know why we came here, nor what we'd need to do to get back. Anyone would usually feel anxious and worried about this.I I, at the very least, have no intention of going back. But even so, I want to know why I came here. Because calling it a simpleaccidentormiracleis not enough of an explanation for the current situationYeah.Aileen responded with a weak nod.So, once we know everything, the underlying reason and the means to go back I want you to decide, Aileen.With those words, he gently stroked her head.It'll be fine for you to decide at that time. Butlet's stay together until then.And if possible, afterwards as well, he kept those words to himself.Okay Okay.Nodding repeatedly at his chest, Aileen's voice had become tear-choked at some point. However, currently Kei had no other choice than silently holding her tightly.Is it arrogance?Kei surrendered himself to his thoughts within this loneliness of sorts.SupposedlySupposedly, if I tell her to abandon the old world and live here with me, she'll very likely follow my wish as long as I entreat her passionately.However, would that be alright? Is it okay to force her like that? Is it fine to simply push my own wishes on her?HicghSeeing her sob full of worry and distress, the answer was clear.From now on, there will certainly come a day when we're going to regret something. But if so, I want those regrets to be something I can fully accept deep down at least.Those were Kei's thoughts.If Aileen chose to stay in this world on the spur of the moment, she would surely regret it one day.It would be fine now. They could spend their days happily together. But what about ten years later? Twenty years later? Would it be the same?Even if she tried to act at that point, it would be far too late for anything.She had to act now.She had to act now when thedecisionwas still not set in stone.Arriving at one answer after worrying and brooding over it this would allow her toaccepther conclusion, even if she were to regret that decision later on.Kei wanted her to do that.While hoping that her final answer would be to stay together with him.Look at me drown in self-satisfaction.He sneered in his mind. His feelings were too violent to simply call themself-deprecation.He was saying he did not want to force her, yet he was hoping that she would give up on the idea of going back.Because that way, he would have no regrets?It was self-centered, egoistic, or perhaps what else if not arrogance?But still.Kei hoped that Aileen would do so.IfHe closed his eyes and thought.If Aileen desires to go backAt that momentat that moment, heIAileen, who seemed to have stopped crying, opened her mouth.Honestly, I don't know whether I want to return or not.She looked up to Kei with teary eyes, frightened. He silently nodded in reply.I have a family of four. Dad, mom, and big sisterthey're all kind. ButShe curled up as if to endure the cold.I'm sure you've vaguely sensed it, Kei. I used to do gymnastics when I was little. I was quite skilled at it too, you see I've even won a junior tournament. I kept doing my best thinking that I might even appear in the Olympics. I kept doing my bestHer voice shifted back and forth, between bright and gloomy.Butthere was an accident. I lost my legs. She laughed feebly. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? Something you'd see in a drama I didn't want to believe it either. That it was all over. There had been talks about transplants based on cloning technology in the past, right? I decided to bet on that possibility. I've tried a bunch of things, like trying to become a tester for it but in the end, the project was banned due to religious problems and treaties. As time passed, my body senses also deteriorated so, one day, I thought,Ah, it's already impossible. And once you think that even once, there's no going back. And from then on, I always stayed in my room.She spoke indifferently with her face buried in Kei's chest. She then took a little break.Unprecedented realism.She finally muttered, You weren't the only one to get lured by that sales pitch, Kei, abruptly lifting her face that exhibited a smile so fleeting that it was painful to look at. But compared to you, I was still way better off. I've always been thinking that I was some tragic heroine. But when I heard your story after we came here, I IThat's not true. Kei interjected and hugged her body tightly. You're wrong.He repeated near her ear. In response, she strengthened her hug, remaining silent.Kei lost everything before he managed to gain a single thing.Aileen lost everything she had obtained by her own efforts.Which would be more painful?Kei wondered genuinely.He had not experienced what she had, so he could not compare.However he could imagine it.It must have been painful.He muttered, and Aileen silently clung to him.Increasing her grip, further and furtherAfter this, both stayed silent for a while.That's why I'm afraid to go back, Aileen revealed her feelings at long last. But not being able to see my dad, mom, and big sister anymore is also painful.She trembled and timidly looked up.I'm still lostI still can't find an answer at all, but still Her eyes filled with tears stared at Kei. Will you stay by my side until I find my answer?He did not waver for a moment.Yes. He nodded strongly. Let's stay together.Those words came from the depth of his very soul.Thank you.Her fleeting smile was adorned with tears.And then, without it being clear who had initiated it, their lips overlapped. Comfortably and pleasantly, as if they were embracing each others' very being.But today, both were extremely tired.And before long, sleeping breaths started to fill the room.A gust of wind blew in through the window, extinguishing the fire in the lamp. Shrouded in darkness, a calm atmosphere wrapped up the room.
