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Published at 14th of September 2021 12:26:11 PM


Chapter 12

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Chapter 12 – All Living Beings Experience Suffering

Xi Guican was very uncomfortable after soaking in the medicinal bath. This type of internal feebleness was more unbearable than externally caused pain.

Because of this feeling of weakness, Xi Guican had the illusion that he had returned to the days of being experimental subject No. 20, weak and powerless.

The side effects of the medicinal bath would last for three hours.

The volume of the live broadcast was turned onto the maximum level, but it still could not fill the emptiness of the whole room. He slowly closed his eyes in a trance, and a soft humming noise sounded again in his ears. It was clearly only an auditory hallucination, but his feeling of physical weakness strangely seemed to be weakened significantly.

I really want to see that person

I want to listen to his voice, want to see his eyes when he smiles. An unrestrainable yearning.

Xi Guican laid himself into the game cabin. When he entered the game and lay in the cotton nest, he felt as if everything he did was immersed in a pool of euphoria. Was this the legendary internet addiction

Ka-cha.

Those round tiger ears shivered subconsciously at this moment. Unknowingly from when, the sound of the iron doors opening became associated with He Ruge’s arrival. The dull clicking sound was more pleasing to his ears than the song of a lark.

  The person in front of his eyes was still unhappy.

What’s wrong

Did someone bully you again

He Ruge’s brows were furrowed. His expression was “sorrowful”, but this type of sorrow was different from the morning’s melancholy. It was a kind of sadness that affected others, and it seemed that Xi Guican’s every move was influenced by the mood on his face.

Xi Guican reacted afterwards- his heart seemed to be hurting for me.

So, it was I who bullied him.

The emotion that surfaced in his heart was strange and unfamiliar. It was a sort of embarrassing unease, paired with a bit of shameful joy. Even more strangely was that when he realized He Ruge was caring about him and felt distressed for him, the weakness that he originally could have tolerated was now magnified hundreds of times.[1]

Bathed under such a gentle gaze, the cotton nest he was lying in seemed to be made of luxurious velvet. He was a little white tiger who grew up under meticulous and loving care. He couldn’t suffer hardships because in the eyes of another, his sufferings would be magnified infinitely.

I should be very uncomfortable.

The side effects of the medicine bath still appeared in the game. Maintaining a taut bowstring position, curled up into a shrimp shape would make it more bearable. However, Xi Guican was used to hiding behind a facade of strength.[2]

Within the environment that he was in all year long, whenever he relaxed or exposed any form of weakness, those people who hide in the dark would become like sharks that had detected a savory scent, rising up and looking for a chance to strip off chunks of his flesh. 

Xi Guican also knew that what the so-called fans in the Federation admired and pursued was only the glorified title of “The Blade of the Federation”. No one would care about how injured he was in the Intergalactic Wars. They would only cheer for his records.

It was just like how the people in Xinghai Orphanage only cared about the “experimental subject’s” data, not the Little White Tiger.

Experiments with weak bodies were equivalent to defective products meant to be destroyed.

He was required to be strong. Even if his body was shot through with thousands of holes, he could only hide in the darkness and licks his wound.

But

Xi Guican raised his eyes and looked at He Ruge. The person in front of him had a clear and unclouded face, with tender and white skin. It was clear to the extent of seeming to show a sense of transparency. Harmless and soft, his temperament was gentle, as if he would smooth all his rough edges[3] and heal his wounds.

It appeared that regardless of whether he was sitting, standing, lying on his side, or even sticking out his butt, that person’s attitude towards him would not change. If he insisted on maintaining his demeanor, he would not be able to receive the heartaches of the person in front of him.

I should be uncomfortable, Little White Tiger thought hesitantly, I really was uncomfortable.

Little by little something flooded his heart. It was an anxious expectation, an expectation towards the next move of the person in front of him. 

I am already this uncomfortable, and you, what will you do

Will you sing for me to hear, like coaxing the bunny next door.

And, what should I do?

A hand reached in front of Little White Tiger, a medicinal pill in his palm.

The originally expectant Little White Tiger felt a tingle in his heart. He already clearly guessed what was hidden in his palms, but he still approached and sniffed it, hoping to smell the sweet scent of candy.

Living was already bitter enough, he needed something sweet to balance it. 

The bitter smell of medicine destroyed his last illusion. The Little White Tiger turned around sullenly, not wanting to face the puzzled “lover” behind him.

He was not ill, only suffering from the side effects of soaking in the medicinal bath. Even more so, the current Little White Tiger in the game had a body full of sleek and glossy fur. He feared He Ruge wouldn’t believe the reason for his discomfort. 

Even if He Ruge did believe, he still would not say it. A crisis of hair loss at such a young age, if he said it out loud, he would become a joke.

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With such a thought, Xi Guican felt that hair loss really was a difficult issue to discuss. If he was injured in the Intergalactic Wars, he could still remove his clothes generously and point to the scar on his body, saying righteously to He Ruge that they were badges of honor.

Xi Guican was drinking milk, but the young body was filled with the sorrowful soul of an adult.

“If you are sick, you need to take medicine. If you don’t take medicine, will you get better?” Obviously, they were blaming words, but because of the gentle tone of the voice, there was no feeling of rebuke.

“In the past, when I was sick, I also refused to take medicine”

He Ruge chattered on about adult troubles, and the little white tiger took a big sip of milk while holding the bottle. When he heard the word “money”, the fluffy tiger ears shook and his small head turned silently.

I don’t have anything else, I only have money.[4]

Does this broken game support gold digging, I’ll smash you with ten billion Galactic coins, you mustn’t be sad in the future. 

The corner of He Ruge’s eyes drooped, unknowingly staring at the palm of his hand with a pitiful appearance. Xi Guican couldn’t stand this expression the most. The one-who-would-never-give-in-to-anything, Xi Guican, felt his heart soften as he gave into fate and ate the medicinal pill. Then, he laid back into his cotton nest with a Pa-chi [5]sound to contemplate life.

When did he begin to indulge this person?

From his back, warmth spread over from the other person’s palm. It was a temperature that was warm enough to burn into the heart. The Little White Tiger’s body that had been curled up like a shrimp from the pain slowly straighten itself.

The other person’s touch pressure was just right. It was a tenderness that made others greedy for more. 

He Ruge had far too many traits that he liked. Though, at the moment, Xi Guican didn’t understand whether he liked He Ruge because of those traits, or if it was because he had good feelings for He Ruge, so he ended up liking those traits.  

The Little White Tiger couldn’t help but turn over and expose his soft, undefended belly in front of the youth. His stomach rose and fell with his breaths, his body’s weakness and discomfort stemming from his abdomen. Perhaps the warmth could dispel those pains.

“Use your hands, place it on my belly.”

Snow white hands descended, fingertips touching the soft stomach as gently as a dragonfly landing on water, His hands slowly made contact, exuding a peaceful warmth.

Xi Guican felt that he must have gone insane to expose the most vulnerable part of his body to another person and personally entrusting his safety to the other.

Even if this was just a game and everything in it was fake, this action was still considered too crazy for him.

At this moment, a sense of crisis suddenly arose in him as it exceeded his safety threshold. His fur couldn’t help but stick up. Everyone of his nerves was trembling slightly, but his body still embraced that hand honestly.

Why was this happening, why did he feel so close to the character called “He Ruge”.

Is this what the games was designed to achieve, to soften his heart

His pupils contracted in an instant.

No, he couldn’t allow himself to have any weakness. This unexpected realization startled Little White Tiger. He had no other choice, biting down on the other side fiercely, as if he were influenced by his illness.

The bite was quite deep, and the bloody smell permeated on the tip of his tongue, slightly salty. The Little White Tiger took a big step back as he was stimulated by this bloody smell and stumbled back to sit into the cotton nest.

His eyes fell on the dazzling red on his hands. Against the white skin, the red was too brilliant and almost burned Xi Guican’s eyes.

He Ruge looked over in confusion and surprise. Since long ago, He Ruge had always wore plain clothing, appearing like a clean and divine angel. But at this moment, Xi Guican felt that if that pure white was stained with red, it would be a fantastically soul-stirring. 

The little white tiger turned around with a shua, his heart beating like a drum.[5]

Thump.Thump.Thump.Thump. [5]

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The sweetness of the fruit candy that he ate before still remained in his mouth, mixing with the bloody taste and blurring the distinction between each other.

Xi Guican’s claws contracted nervously. He hesitantly licked his tiger teeth with the tip of his tongue. There was a light strawberry flavor within the bloody taste, it was sweet. In a trance, Xi Guican seemed to smell the aroma of the fruit candy again.

He knew it was an illusion, but the smell of sweetness was everywhere, and it wrapped around his body. The overly sweet aroma was so sweet that his heart suddenly shuddered. He had a desire to bite down on the throat of that person.

A stream of blood would flow out, all of which would smell like sweet candy. The tortuous streams would converge into a long river of colorful candy. That person would perch on the clouds in the sky and sing. While singing gently, he would sprinkle colorful fruit candy.[6]

No. He couldn’t.

The Little White Tiger’s taut body fought a cold chill, and a disbelieving look appeared in his blue eyes. Obviously, the monster in his body has not awakened, but why did such a terrible idea form when he was conscious.

Didn’t this just prove that he, himself, was an outright monster[7]

His heart hurt like it was being grasped in a strong grip, and his claws unintentionally cut through the cotton nest. Maybe three seconds had passed, maybe longer, the Little White Tiger laid in the cotton nest as if he had no strength left.

He Ruge.

He kept recalling this name. There was a slight ripple in his heart. It was a fleeting glimmer of some emotion. Even Xi Guican didn’t even know what the feeling in his heart meant.

Exactly what the motive of this game was, he had no clue. He also didn’t want to know; there were some things that one didn’t need to get to the bottom of.

He was tired. 

Xi Guican remembered his original goal of signing into the game. He wanted to listen to the person sing, wanted to see the smiling eyes of that person, and he wanted to get close to that warm person.

So, nothing else mattered. He needed a little warmth. Not asking for much, just a little was enough.

Step by step, Little White Tiger walked slowly and firmly towards the person in front of him, blue eyes watching the snow-white face. He had to admit that since the beginning, he had been bewitched by this clean and pure beauty. Even when he opened his eyes wide to look at the other person, his eyes would tingle.

Just like when he left room B6 and saw the halo of light piercing through the windows, the him who traversed the darkness didn’t fear the pain in his eyes, even intently staring into the light directly.

Under the dim lighting, He Ruge’s eyes were shining. He (XGC) could clearly see the light in the other person’s eyes.

It was a bright and gentle light.

The despair that tortured him for the first half of his life once again spread out. Xi Guican lowered his head and licked the wound on the other person’s hand, confirming again He Ruge’s smell.

Tastes good.

But he couldn’t taste it anymore in the future because this person would be injured.

“I promise, no one can bully you in the future.”

“Including me.”

I may not be your knight, but I will never let myself go and become a monster that hurts you.

So, don’t be afraid of me.

The author has something to say: Begging to ask readers to shelve the book. Already reading to this point, everyone please bookmark and shelve the page.

One more thing, this book participated in the contest “I have a date with Jinjiang”, the reason for competing is because He Ruge wrote in Jinjiang.

[Jinjiang voting descriptions….. ] Author wishes for your support!

[1] Awwwwww Little White Tiger wants to be pampered in the safe embrace of HRG

[2] original: disguising in an armor of strength: hiding behind a facade of strength

[3] Original: wrap around all his corners

[4] Little tiger so poor he only has money 

[5] SFX

[6] For clarification: the main purpose of this description paragraph was to depict XGC’s current unstable mental state as he is trying to figure out his emotions and instincts

[7] Q_Q No, bby. You’re just a victim of pain and trauma





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