Although He Ruge’s right hand, which had been bitten by the little monster, was sprayed (with the medical spray) to stop the bleeding, the wound itself didn’t heal, and pain sensation inside the holographic game was 100% retained. He contemplated for a bit and decided to go to the infirmary to find out the Medicine-seeking rat.
Using the universal key card rare prop, He Ruge arrived at the infirmary without a hitch.
The Medicine-seeking rat was sitting on his desk, the light brain screen on his neck projected into the darkness. The Medicine-seeking rat’s two small paws were dexterously tapping away on the keyboard; it seemed he was organizing information.
Upon seeing He Ruge, the light screen disappeared from the air. When the Medicine-seeking rat found that He Ruge didn’t have any cubs in his arms, he said slowly: “Getting a checkup for yourself this time?”
He Ruge struck speechless by the Totoro-looking Medicine-seeking rat’s cuteness. He repressed his internal excitement with difficulty as he nodded and said: “Yes, my hand was injured by a bite.”
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The Medicine-seeking rat saw the bandage wrapped around He Ruge’s hand and couldn’t help but remark ruthlessly: “Wrapped so hideously.” He waved over at He Ruge with his small paw. When he saw the wound behind the bandage, the Medicine-seeking rat furrowed his brows. “Bit so viciously. This bite mark…… Why did No.20 suddenly bite you? This shouldn’t be. Even if he was brainwashed, he would be instilled with the organization’s mandates and would not casually harm the organization’s people.”
Small, black eyes exuded an icy chill, and the Medicine-seeking rat said in a low voice: “It couldn’t be that you bullied him first, ba?”
He Ruge: “……”
I feel more wronged than Dou E. [1]
Seeing He Ruge’s expression, the Medicine-seeking rat’s icy gaze warmed slightly: “You don’t seem like that type of person.” He coughed lightly and slumped tiredly on the robotic arm. His small, black bean-like eyes looked quietly at the ceiling: “Actually, when I was still doing research on the (existence of) the spiritual sea of consciousness, I kept returning to one fundamental question.
“If the psychical body is the container for one’s spiritual sea of consciousness, then is the source of a person’s ‘existence’ their consciousness or their body itself?”
“The spiritual sea of consciousness is not only directly connected to our memories, but also closely related to one’s genetics. What the brainwashing experiment changes is only the most superficial layer of memories. Perhaps it doesn’t even change it, just initiates a simple seal (over it). But, is there a hint of possibility that the spiritual sea overall surpasses our conscious cognitive ability and level of understanding, such that when we make changes to the so-called ‘surface layer of memories’, we had actually already delved into the foundation of genetics.
“It’s just that we never knew and yet are complacent of our superficial level of knowledge.”
The Medicine-seeking rat seemed extremely tired. He closed his eyes and whispered softly: “The last staff member responsible for injecting the genetic medicine for No.20 died unexpectedly the day before yesterday. Through the monitoring room, I saw the brainwashed No. 20.
“It’s like the person completely changed to someone else.
“Have you noticed any changes to No.20 after his brainwashing?”
Naturally, the change was that the previous Little White Tiger turned into the little monster, but He Ruge would never say such. He considered his words before replying: “His character has become more volatile.”
The Medicine-seeking rat muttered and repeated: “Character, huh.”
“Say, if a person loses their original memories and their personality changes drastically, but they still live in their original body, are they still their original selves?” The Medicine-seeking rat suddenly opened his eyes and asked.
This question was similar to Little White Tiger and Little Monster’s (situation). After being brainwashed, the little white tiger fell asleep, and the little monster woke up to occupy the body. Then, was the little monster still the original No.20?
The little white tiger was like ice, while the little monster was like fire.
He Ruge thought of the Theory of the Ship of Theseus. Assuming that the constituent elements of an object are replaced, is the end result still the (same as the) original object? [2]
“It should…… not count, ba.” He Ruge hesitated.
“If you were given two options: one is to let another person stay in a coma-like state and never wake up again, while the other is to make the other forget everything and cause their personality to change completely and start anew, but when you choose the second, the other person’s original personality and memories may never return, which one would you choose?” The Medicine-seeking rat asked.
Two choices seemed to appear in front of him. One was to let the little white tiger continue sleeping, and the game ends. Another option was the little monster appearing and the game continuing, but the little white tiger would never appear again.
Which would he choose?
There was a long period of silence. Until the Medicine-seeking rat finished changing He Ruge’s wrappings, He Ruge still didn’t give a response.
“I used to think that what I was doing, although violating secular ethics, was worth the results. But, the moment I turned my back and walked to the other end of the shore without a care, I realized that the end product was not what I had desired.” The Medicine-seeking rat laughed self-mockingly.
[Di– Side Quest “Mysterious Infirmary”, completion 45%
The medicine-seeking rat grandpa loves cubs, is a skilled old doctor, and likes cleanliness. He is responsible for researching the spiritual sea of consciousness at the Starry Sea Orphanage, but once his research made new progress, grandpa medicine-seeking rat was not happy. Why? 】
Leaving the infirmary, He Ruge walked downstairs from Floor E, and at foot of the stairs on Floor B, he ran into Yellow Ferret. Yellow Ferret was carrying a handful of cubs, and it appeared that he was preparing to start a new round of the Ice Project. When the two old acquaintances met, the atmosphere was slightly awkward. Yellow Ferret raised his eyebrows and said: “Oh, you’re actually still alive.”
His gaze fell upon He Ruge’s bandaged hand: “It looks like you aren’t doing too well.” His tone was highly gloating.
He Ruge didn’t even glance at Yellow Ferret. Instead, his gaze was fixed on the frightened cubs. For a brief moment, he seemed to have an illusion that these cubs were the same batch of experimental subjects he had taken care of in Room B6.
The same naivety.
These cubs who still had the strength to cry and the curiosity to sneak peaks at him would soon one by one turn into cold corpses left in a small, dark room.
In the beginning, “Your Exclusive Lover” was just a 3D romance game to him. Although (back then) He Ruge knew that those cubs had ‘died’, because he was separated by a screen, their deaths didn’t truly impact him.
If it wasn’t realistic, it wouldn’t be too painful, and the occasional thoughts of (wanting to) “rescue” (the characters) would also dissipate quickly.
Perhaps, the moment he believed in his heart that this was simply a romance game, he had already determined his stance——
No.20’s exclusive lover.
He wasn’t a savior. The only one he could rescue was No. 20. Those were He Ruge’s previous thoughts.
However, at this very instance, when he came face to face with the cubs’ timid eyes inside the iron cage, their slightly undulating bellies and little paws that didn’t know where to stand, all of his (previous) thoughts suddenly began to change.
If he continued to keep silent, continued to be indifferent, then in this game, besides the identity of being “No. 20’s Exclusive Lover”, what kind of existence was he——
An executioner?
A ghost who lures others in to share the same fate?[3]
Or a cold-blooded, emotionless bystander?
He Ruge suddenly felt his hands and feet turn cold as he realized a very cruel conclusion.
His silence would be the last mound of dirt that buried these subjects.
What’s the difference between this kind of him and Yellow Ferret, Scorpion, and Crow before his memory was restored? No.20 had (He Ruge) to rescue him, but then should the other experimental subjects just die in vain? These cubs were so small that they didn’t even know what death meant yet.
Although (he didn’t undergo) a brainwashing experiment, he had unknowingly become the type of person he hated the most.
“I have something to talk to you about later.” He Ruge clenched his fists, trying to maintain a steady voice as he spoke to Yellow Ferret.
Yellow Ferret gave He Ruge a strange glance and muttered: “I don’t think we have anything to talk about between us.” But, even as he said that, Yellow Ferret still walked over with an impatient expression after settling the experimental subjects, “What is it?”
After He Ru spent one Little Heart and blocked the cameras in the corridor, he looked directly into Yellow Ferret’s eyes and asked: “What is your name?
“What I’m asking isn’t your codename, but your real name.”
Yellow-brown pupils clouded over, and the Yellow Ferret scratched his head in confusion, “Name?”
The palm of his hand grasped his yellow hair and tugged on it to the point where his hair was almost pulled out, “My……name?”
“I, I don’t know.”
Yellow Ferret, who always acted like an indifferent slacker, grasped his hair and stood there blankly. He looked like a rebellious teenager who did something wrong, muttering continuously: “I don’t know.”
Sure enough, Yellow Ferret had also experienced the brainwashing experiment.
Perhaps most of the staff at Starry Sea Orphanage had undergone the brainwashing experiment. This point wasn’t too difficult to determine, wasn’t it?
But then, why did it feel so uncomfortable this time around? He Ruge gave a trembling sigh and took out the rare prop item “Xi Xing’s Blessing”[4] from his backpack.
The outer appearance of this rare item was a shining star. It was a prop that could awaken good memories.
He Ruge had previously contemplated when and on whom he would use this prop. If Little White Tiger forgets him after he wakes up, this prop would have been his final (clutch) card.
Little White Tiger’s level of goodwill towards him was a solid 100, so the memories of them together should all be good memories. Little White Tiger could also use those memories to remember him.
But …… please forgive his willfulness. He was too greedy. Not only did he want Little White Tiger, want No. 20, but also wanted to rescue all the experimental subjects in the Starry Sea Orphanage who were part of the Ice Project.
He Ruge knew that, according to the game’s original plotline, No.20 would eventually become a monster and destroy the Starry Sea Orphanage. At that time, when all the bad guys die, the experimental subjects would also be freed. But, this “eventually” would come too slow and too late. When the long overdue “eventually” finally arrived, how many experimental subjects from the Ice Project, Death God’s Wings, and Destruction Plan would survive?
Did they want him to solely regard himself as “No. 20’s Exclusive lover” and coldly watch the deaths of all the experimental subjects in the Starry Sea Orphanage?
Sorry, he couldn’t do that.
Maybe his choice right now was naïve, maybe he would be too occupied with living to save even a single experimental subject until the end of his busy life, and maybe in the end, the bamboo basket meant for carrying water would return empty…… [5]
[Yes/No use “Xi Xing’s Blessing” to Yellow Ferret]
【Yes】
【No】
Maybe, if he went through with this, he might regret it in the future, but if he didn’t, he would regret it for life.
Choosing [Yes], at least, in this moment, he was happy.
＊
Throughout a person’s lifetime, one would have made many happy memories. For example, the year he peeped on his neighboring sister taking a shower. Before he even had time to wipe his snot and tears after being caught, he raised my head and said to his neighbor sister that he would definitely marry her as his wife in the future.
The neighbor sister wrapped herself in a bath towel and wiped his snot bubble with her wet hand as she said with a smile, How are you this piss small and already such a pervert.
On his birthday, there was his favorite roasted whole chicken on the table, and he made a wish towards the egg-shaped birthday cake, I wish to marry Sister Hua Hua in the future.
The neighbor sister laughed and said, Little Ding Xu, then you must grow up quickly, you can marry this sister after you grow up.
During the first Intergalactic Wars, the neighbor sister kissed him on his forehead before she left, and she said softly, when this sister comes back, she will already be an old girl. Will Little Ding Xu still marry me?
Huang Ding Xu opened his eyes and said along with the overlapping image of the ignorant little boy in his memories: “I’m willing.”
[1]Dou E is a fictional character from a traditional Chinese play. You can search up the full plot using the common English title “The Injustice to Dou E” or “Snow in Midsummer”. Dou E was wrongly accused and executed, and the injustice instigated a series natural disasters, including a snowstorm in summer
[2]Search: “Ship of Theseus” for full details on the analysis of the metaphysics of identity. ‘Ship of Theseus’ questions whether a boat, completely changed of it’s physical makeup, is still the same as the original
[3]“Becoming a ghost who lures others in to share the same fate”: Refer to Chapter 25 part 5 for full explanation of this idiom
[4]Xi Xing’s Blessing: Refer to chapter 28 for full details on Xi Xing’s Blessings
[5]“the bamboo basket meant for carrying water was returned empty”: All his efforts were for naught
Although He Ruge’s right hand, which had been bitten by the little monster, was sprayed (with the medical spray) to stop the bleeding, the wound itself didn’t heal, and pain sensation inside the holographic game was 100% retained. He contemplated for a bit and decided to go to the infirmary to find out the Medicine-seeking rat.
Using the universal key card rare prop, He Ruge arrived at the infirmary without a hitch.
The Medicine-seeking rat was sitting on his desk, the light brain screen on his neck projected into the darkness. The Medicine-seeking rat’s two small paws were dexterously tapping away on the keyboard; it seemed he was organizing information.
Upon seeing He Ruge, the light screen disappeared from the air. When the Medicine-seeking rat found that He Ruge didn’t have any cubs in his arms, he said slowly: “Getting a checkup for yourself this time?”
He Ruge struck speechless by the Totoro-looking Medicine-seeking rat’s cuteness. He repressed his internal excitement with difficulty as he nodded and said: “Yes, my hand was injured by a bite.”
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The Medicine-seeking rat saw the bandage wrapped around He Ruge’s hand and couldn’t help but remark ruthlessly: “Wrapped so hideously.” He waved over at He Ruge with his small paw. When he saw the wound behind the bandage, the Medicine-seeking rat furrowed his brows. “Bit so viciously. This bite mark…… Why did No.20 suddenly bite you? This shouldn’t be. Even if he was brainwashed, he would be instilled with the organization’s mandates and would not casually harm the organization’s people.”
Small, black eyes exuded an icy chill, and the Medicine-seeking rat said in a low voice: “It couldn’t be that you bullied him first, ba?”
He Ruge: “……”
I feel more wronged than Dou E. [1]
Seeing He Ruge’s expression, the Medicine-seeking rat’s icy gaze warmed slightly: “You don’t seem like that type of person.” He coughed lightly and slumped tiredly on the robotic arm. His small, black bean-like eyes looked quietly at the ceiling: “Actually, when I was still doing research on the (existence of) the spiritual sea of consciousness, I kept returning to one fundamental question.
“If the psychical body is the container for one’s spiritual sea of consciousness, then is the source of a person’s ‘existence’ their consciousness or their body itself?”
“The spiritual sea of consciousness is not only directly connected to our memories, but also closely related to one’s genetics. What the brainwashing experiment changes is only the most superficial layer of memories. Perhaps it doesn’t even change it, just initiates a simple seal (over it). But, is there a hint of possibility that the spiritual sea overall surpasses our conscious cognitive ability and level of understanding, such that when we make changes to the so-called ‘surface layer of memories’, we had actually already delved into the foundation of genetics.
“It’s just that we never knew and yet are complacent of our superficial level of knowledge.”
The Medicine-seeking rat seemed extremely tired. He closed his eyes and whispered softly: “The last staff member responsible for injecting the genetic medicine for No.20 died unexpectedly the day before yesterday. Through the monitoring room, I saw the brainwashed No. 20.
“It’s like the person completely changed to someone else.
“Have you noticed any changes to No.20 after his brainwashing?”
Naturally, the change was that the previous Little White Tiger turned into the little monster, but He Ruge would never say such. He considered his words before replying: “His character has become more volatile.”
The Medicine-seeking rat muttered and repeated: “Character, huh.”
“Say, if a person loses their original memories and their personality changes drastically, but they still live in their original body, are they still their original selves?” The Medicine-seeking rat suddenly opened his eyes and asked.
This question was similar to Little White Tiger and Little Monster’s (situation). After being brainwashed, the little white tiger fell asleep, and the little monster woke up to occupy the body. Then, was the little monster still the original No.20?
The little white tiger was like ice, while the little monster was like fire.
He Ruge thought of the Theory of the Ship of Theseus. Assuming that the constituent elements of an object are replaced, is the end result still the (same as the) original object? [2]
“It should…… not count, ba.” He Ruge hesitated.
“If you were given two options: one is to let another person stay in a coma-like state and never wake up again, while the other is to make the other forget everything and cause their personality to change completely and start anew, but when you choose the second, the other person’s original personality and memories may never return, which one would you choose?” The Medicine-seeking rat asked.
Two choices seemed to appear in front of him. One was to let the little white tiger continue sleeping, and the game ends. Another option was the little monster appearing and the game continuing, but the little white tiger would never appear again.
Which would he choose?
There was a long period of silence. Until the Medicine-seeking rat finished changing He Ruge’s wrappings, He Ruge still didn’t give a response.
“I used to think that what I was doing, although violating secular ethics, was worth the results. But, the moment I turned my back and walked to the other end of the shore without a care, I realized that the end product was not what I had desired.” The Medicine-seeking rat laughed self-mockingly.
[Di– Side Quest “Mysterious Infirmary”, completion 45%
The medicine-seeking rat grandpa loves cubs, is a skilled old doctor, and likes cleanliness. He is responsible for researching the spiritual sea of consciousness at the Starry Sea Orphanage, but once his research made new progress, grandpa medicine-seeking rat was not happy. Why? 】
Leaving the infirmary, He Ruge walked downstairs from Floor E, and at foot of the stairs on Floor B, he ran into Yellow Ferret. Yellow Ferret was carrying a handful of cubs, and it appeared that he was preparing to start a new round of the Ice Project. When the two old acquaintances met, the atmosphere was slightly awkward. Yellow Ferret raised his eyebrows and said: “Oh, you’re actually still alive.”
His gaze fell upon He Ruge’s bandaged hand: “It looks like you aren’t doing too well.” His tone was highly gloating.
He Ruge didn’t even glance at Yellow Ferret. Instead, his gaze was fixed on the frightened cubs. For a brief moment, he seemed to have an illusion that these cubs were the same batch of experimental subjects he had taken care of in Room B6.
The same naivety.
These cubs who still had the strength to cry and the curiosity to sneak peaks at him would soon one by one turn into cold corpses left in a small, dark room.
In the beginning, “Your Exclusive Lover” was just a 3D romance game to him. Although (back then) He Ruge knew that those cubs had ‘died’, because he was separated by a screen, their deaths didn’t truly impact him.
If it wasn’t realistic, it wouldn’t be too painful, and the occasional thoughts of (wanting to) “rescue” (the characters) would also dissipate quickly.
Perhaps, the moment he believed in his heart that this was simply a romance game, he had already determined his stance——
No.20’s exclusive lover.
He wasn’t a savior. The only one he could rescue was No. 20. Those were He Ruge’s previous thoughts.
However, at this very instance, when he came face to face with the cubs’ timid eyes inside the iron cage, their slightly undulating bellies and little paws that didn’t know where to stand, all of his (previous) thoughts suddenly began to change.
If he continued to keep silent, continued to be indifferent, then in this game, besides the identity of being “No. 20’s Exclusive Lover”, what kind of existence was he——
An executioner?
A ghost who lures others in to share the same fate?[3]
Or a cold-blooded, emotionless bystander?
He Ruge suddenly felt his hands and feet turn cold as he realized a very cruel conclusion.
His silence would be the last mound of dirt that buried these subjects.
What’s the difference between this kind of him and Yellow Ferret, Scorpion, and Crow before his memory was restored? No.20 had (He Ruge) to rescue him, but then should the other experimental subjects just die in vain? These cubs were so small that they didn’t even know what death meant yet.
Although (he didn’t undergo) a brainwashing experiment, he had unknowingly become the type of person he hated the most.
“I have something to talk to you about later.” He Ruge clenched his fists, trying to maintain a steady voice as he spoke to Yellow Ferret.
Yellow Ferret gave He Ruge a strange glance and muttered: “I don’t think we have anything to talk about between us.” But, even as he said that, Yellow Ferret still walked over with an impatient expression after settling the experimental subjects, “What is it?”
After He Ru spent one Little Heart and blocked the cameras in the corridor, he looked directly into Yellow Ferret’s eyes and asked: “What is your name?
“What I’m asking isn’t your codename, but your real name.”
Yellow-brown pupils clouded over, and the Yellow Ferret scratched his head in confusion, “Name?”
The palm of his hand grasped his yellow hair and tugged on it to the point where his hair was almost pulled out, “My……name?”
“I, I don’t know.”
Yellow Ferret, who always acted like an indifferent slacker, grasped his hair and stood there blankly. He looked like a rebellious teenager who did something wrong, muttering continuously: “I don’t know.”
Sure enough, Yellow Ferret had also experienced the brainwashing experiment.
Perhaps most of the staff at Starry Sea Orphanage had undergone the brainwashing experiment. This point wasn’t too difficult to determine, wasn’t it?
But then, why did it feel so uncomfortable this time around? He Ruge gave a trembling sigh and took out the rare prop item “Xi Xing’s Blessing”[4] from his backpack.
The outer appearance of this rare item was a shining star. It was a prop that could awaken good memories.
He Ruge had previously contemplated when and on whom he would use this prop. If Little White Tiger forgets him after he wakes up, this prop would have been his final (clutch) card.
Little White Tiger’s level of goodwill towards him was a solid 100, so the memories of them together should all be good memories. Little White Tiger could also use those memories to remember him.
But …… please forgive his willfulness. He was too greedy. Not only did he want Little White Tiger, want No. 20, but also wanted to rescue all the experimental subjects in the Starry Sea Orphanage who were part of the Ice Project.
He Ruge knew that, according to the game’s original plotline, No.20 would eventually become a monster and destroy the Starry Sea Orphanage. At that time, when all the bad guys die, the experimental subjects would also be freed. But, this “eventually” would come too slow and too late. When the long overdue “eventually” finally arrived, how many experimental subjects from the Ice Project, Death God’s Wings, and Destruction Plan would survive?
Did they want him to solely regard himself as “No. 20’s Exclusive lover” and coldly watch the deaths of all the experimental subjects in the Starry Sea Orphanage?
Sorry, he couldn’t do that.
Maybe his choice right now was naïve, maybe he would be too occupied with living to save even a single experimental subject until the end of his busy life, and maybe in the end, the bamboo basket meant for carrying water would return empty…… [5]
[Yes/No use “Xi Xing’s Blessing” to Yellow Ferret]
【Yes】
【No】
Maybe, if he went through with this, he might regret it in the future, but if he didn’t, he would regret it for life.
Choosing [Yes], at least, in this moment, he was happy.
＊
Throughout a person’s lifetime, one would have made many happy memories. For example, the year he peeped on his neighboring sister taking a shower. Before he even had time to wipe his snot and tears after being caught, he raised my head and said to his neighbor sister that he would definitely marry her as his wife in the future.
The neighbor sister wrapped herself in a bath towel and wiped his snot bubble with her wet hand as she said with a smile, How are you this piss small and already such a pervert.
On his birthday, there was his favorite roasted whole chicken on the table, and he made a wish towards the egg-shaped birthday cake, I wish to marry Sister Hua Hua in the future.
The neighbor sister laughed and said, Little Ding Xu, then you must grow up quickly, you can marry this sister after you grow up.
During the first Intergalactic Wars, the neighbor sister kissed him on his forehead before she left, and she said softly, when this sister comes back, she will already be an old girl. Will Little Ding Xu still marry me?
Huang Ding Xu opened his eyes and said along with the overlapping image of the ignorant little boy in his memories: “I’m willing.”
[1]Dou E is a fictional character from a traditional Chinese play. You can search up the full plot using the common English title “The Injustice to Dou E” or “Snow in Midsummer”. Dou E was wrongly accused and executed, and the injustice instigated a series natural disasters, including a snowstorm in summer
[2]Search: “Ship of Theseus” for full details on the analysis of the metaphysics of identity. ‘Ship of Theseus’ questions whether a boat, completely changed of it’s physical makeup, is still the same as the original
[3]“Becoming a ghost who lures others in to share the same fate”: Refer to Chapter 25 part 5 for full explanation of this idiom
[4]Xi Xing’s Blessing: Refer to chapter 28 for full details on Xi Xing’s Blessings
[5]“the bamboo basket meant for carrying water was returned empty”: All his efforts were for naught
