"Alessia, darling, would you mind grabbing Nyx for me?" I turned my head towards her and flashed her a soft smile. While I could do it, I wanted privacy with Kharon, so I could air out some stuff that was really bothering me. Not that I didn't trust Alessia, but I didn't know how to approach some things with her.
"Of course, empress." She stood up, gave me a slight bow, and spun on her heel.
But just before she could step away, I reached out and grabbed her shirt. "Where do you think you are going?"
Her head shot to me, and confusion danced through her eyes as clear as day. "To get Nyx, like you asked?"
"Yes, I know, but you forgot something." I laced my words with sternness and forced a frown into my face. She was squirming, and I enjoyed that. Really, she was okay; I just wanted her to be a little flustered before I swooped in for the kill.
"What?" She turned back around, and her confusion gave way to shock. As if she couldn't believe that she had messed up.
"This," I told her as I stood up, gripped her uniform, and pulled her into a deep kiss. One that lasted far longer than it should have, but I didn't care. Kharon already knew, so there was nothing to hide.
For a few minutes, I just held her close, enjoying the chill that radiated from her lips into mine before I pushed her away. "Now, you may leave."
She stared at me, stunned before she turned around and walked away. Mentally, I chuckled at the fact that I left her speechless. God, she was so perfect. I bit my lip and relished the last bit of the chill that bit into my flesh.
I tore my gaze away from her backside as I watched her walk away, shifted it back towards Kharon, and cleared my throat. "Anyway.." I trailed off, at least until the sound of the door closing filled the room. "There is something bothering me I haven't really talked about before."
Instead of replying, Kharon sat there and just patiently waited. Which I was thankful for. It gave me a chance to figure out what I wanted to say. "When the domain was attacked, I was scared that Nyx would get hurt. So when I returned to the stronghold, I was so angry, and when I found Nyx, I felt better. Until I found out, Alessia stayed behind. At that moment, I was so scared that she would die." I took a deep breath and tried to calm my heartbeat a bit. The memories of everything threatened to disrupt the delicate balance that I had found.
"And when I got there, I saw Alessia was still fighting, and she was clearly outnumbered, but she kept fighting. I was so angry that they were hurting her, so I fought them. Kharon, I killed someone that da, and was merciless while doing it." My breath came out in ragged bursts as tears brimmed across my eyes. It was a thought that was plaguing me, but I did my best to ignore it. I was doing well at not thinking about it, but I knew I had to talk if I wanted it to get better.
"Empress, in your line of work, killing is something that will come whether you like it or not. However, if you think you are a monster because of it, I can assure you that you aren't." He stood up from his desk and walked over to me. The sounds of bone hitting concrete filled the room as he quickly came toward me.
Tears gathered at the corner of my eyes, and I dropped my hands down towards my pants and clenched the fabric between my fingertips as I fought the surge of emotion. "What really bothers me is that I felt nothing when I did it. He screamed and fought me, but I didn't care, and when life left him, I just tossed him to the side." I felt a hand rest on my shoulder as I stared down at the table, unwilling to look at him.
"There, there, mistress. The fact that you are feeling like that is a good sign. But you are not a monster. You were defending Alessia and Nyx, but you were also defending your domain. There is nothing to be afraid of, nor a reason to be distraught. You did what you had to do. Nothing more, and nothing less." He pulled me into a hug, and I screwed my eyes shut and embraced him.
I did what I had to do, didn't I? But was it my place to take someone's life? I didn't know, and that was bothering me. It felt like a part of me died when I killed that man. No, not die; that was the wrong word. I changed that day. "Kharon, there's more." I sucked in a deep breath as I kept my eyes shut. "While I was waiting for Alessia to wake up, I saw how she died. Kharon, she wouldn't stay dead. She kept getting back up."
As I spoke, the tears broke through the dam I had erected around them. It was all just so much, and it was so horrible. "I just haven't told Alessia that I know yet. It just felt like it wasn't something for me to know, but now that I've seen it, I don't think I'll be able to get it out of my head."
I felt a pair of boney hands on my back as he just held me there, and I bawled. I cried at how horrible the memories were and the memories that the undead had formed. It wasn't fair, and all this time, I was just hiding the pain that it all caused me. "I'm just not sure how to deal with it."
"We all cope in different ways with the pain. I find mine in music and a playwright. Nyx finds her in learning, and Alessia has hers in training and duty. We all suffer, and we all have our own way of coping. You just have to find yours." I felt his hands gently pat my back as I just buried my head into his cloak.
I needed to find a way to cope. Something that wasn't Alessia or Nyx. Something that helped me get through life. I cooked, but I don't think I want to sully that. But I'm not sure right now. This is too much to bear for me.
I pulled away from Kharon and wiped away some tears pouring down my face. "Thanks. I needed that." I sniffled a bit and tried to fix my hair the best that I could. Alessia and Nyx would be here soon, and I didn't want them to worry about me.
He stared at me for a moment, though I couldn't seem to read any set of emotions. His eyes were as vibrant as always as he stared into me. "You are welcome, mistress." He gave me one last pat before he wandered back to his desk. With graceful ease, he glided across the ground. His cloak fluttered in the wind caused by the draft of his movement.
I sniffled, sat in my seat a bit, and cleared my throat. I was still hurting, but I felt better than before. "You said, playwright? What do you enjoy about it?"
"Well, there is something about a play that is enthralling. Creating a scene and letting the actors play it out. It's beautiful if I do say so myself." He adjusted his cloak before he sat down.
"Yeah, that sounds like it is." I chuckled as I thought about the irony of it. This was much like a play, at least with how it was set up. It was a play that became all too real.
"Maybe soon I can show you one of my latest works. But it's not a play. It is a song that I wrote for my class. It's called the Death of A Phoenix." He sat down in his chair.
"You know, I think I've only seen your class in action a few times. I would like to see what it does." I cleared my throat once more and wiped away the rest of the tears that were pouring down my face. Hopefully, that was the last, for now at least.
"I prefer not to fight. It's vulgar and uncivilized if you ask me. But, I would be willing to duel with Alessia, If anything, to showcase my abilities."
"That would be nice. She just got a new class I would like to see in action. Besides, I think it would be a fantastic chance to hear your music." I smiled softly at him and adjusted my cloak to smooth away all the wrinkles. Now all I had to do was just wait for Alessia and Nyx to get here.
"Do you know what you will choose for your new class? He reached out towards the book on his desk and picked it up, sensing that the conversation that we were having was taking a turning point.
"Not yet, I'll have to take a look, but I was waiting till my mental state adjusted a bit," I replied as my eyes lazily shifted to the notifications. Maybe I should look at that real quick.
"Alessia, darling, would you mind grabbing Nyx for me?" I turned my head towards her and flashed her a soft smile. While I could do it, I wanted privacy with Kharon, so I could air out some stuff that was really bothering me. Not that I didn't trust Alessia, but I didn't know how to approach some things with her.
"Of course, empress." She stood up, gave me a slight bow, and spun on her heel.
But just before she could step away, I reached out and grabbed her shirt. "Where do you think you are going?"
Her head shot to me, and confusion danced through her eyes as clear as day. "To get Nyx, like you asked?"
"Yes, I know, but you forgot something." I laced my words with sternness and forced a frown into my face. She was squirming, and I enjoyed that. Really, she was okay; I just wanted her to be a little flustered before I swooped in for the kill.
"What?" She turned back around, and her confusion gave way to shock. As if she couldn't believe that she had messed up.
"This," I told her as I stood up, gripped her uniform, and pulled her into a deep kiss. One that lasted far longer than it should have, but I didn't care. Kharon already knew, so there was nothing to hide.
For a few minutes, I just held her close, enjoying the chill that radiated from her lips into mine before I pushed her away. "Now, you may leave."
She stared at me, stunned before she turned around and walked away. Mentally, I chuckled at the fact that I left her speechless. God, she was so perfect. I bit my lip and relished the last bit of the chill that bit into my flesh.
I tore my gaze away from her backside as I watched her walk away, shifted it back towards Kharon, and cleared my throat. "Anyway.." I trailed off, at least until the sound of the door closing filled the room. "There is something bothering me I haven't really talked about before."
Instead of replying, Kharon sat there and just patiently waited. Which I was thankful for. It gave me a chance to figure out what I wanted to say. "When the domain was attacked, I was scared that Nyx would get hurt. So when I returned to the stronghold, I was so angry, and when I found Nyx, I felt better. Until I found out, Alessia stayed behind. At that moment, I was so scared that she would die." I took a deep breath and tried to calm my heartbeat a bit. The memories of everything threatened to disrupt the delicate balance that I had found.
"And when I got there, I saw Alessia was still fighting, and she was clearly outnumbered, but she kept fighting. I was so angry that they were hurting her, so I fought them. Kharon, I killed someone that da, and was merciless while doing it." My breath came out in ragged bursts as tears brimmed across my eyes. It was a thought that was plaguing me, but I did my best to ignore it. I was doing well at not thinking about it, but I knew I had to talk if I wanted it to get better.
"Empress, in your line of work, killing is something that will come whether you like it or not. However, if you think you are a monster because of it, I can assure you that you aren't." He stood up from his desk and walked over to me. The sounds of bone hitting concrete filled the room as he quickly came toward me.
Tears gathered at the corner of my eyes, and I dropped my hands down towards my pants and clenched the fabric between my fingertips as I fought the surge of emotion. "What really bothers me is that I felt nothing when I did it. He screamed and fought me, but I didn't care, and when life left him, I just tossed him to the side." I felt a hand rest on my shoulder as I stared down at the table, unwilling to look at him.
"There, there, mistress. The fact that you are feeling like that is a good sign. But you are not a monster. You were defending Alessia and Nyx, but you were also defending your domain. There is nothing to be afraid of, nor a reason to be distraught. You did what you had to do. Nothing more, and nothing less." He pulled me into a hug, and I screwed my eyes shut and embraced him.
I did what I had to do, didn't I? But was it my place to take someone's life? I didn't know, and that was bothering me. It felt like a part of me died when I killed that man. No, not die; that was the wrong word. I changed that day. "Kharon, there's more." I sucked in a deep breath as I kept my eyes shut. "While I was waiting for Alessia to wake up, I saw how she died. Kharon, she wouldn't stay dead. She kept getting back up."
As I spoke, the tears broke through the dam I had erected around them. It was all just so much, and it was so horrible. "I just haven't told Alessia that I know yet. It just felt like it wasn't something for me to know, but now that I've seen it, I don't think I'll be able to get it out of my head."
I felt a pair of boney hands on my back as he just held me there, and I bawled. I cried at how horrible the memories were and the memories that the undead had formed. It wasn't fair, and all this time, I was just hiding the pain that it all caused me. "I'm just not sure how to deal with it."
"We all cope in different ways with the pain. I find mine in music and a playwright. Nyx finds her in learning, and Alessia has hers in training and duty. We all suffer, and we all have our own way of coping. You just have to find yours." I felt his hands gently pat my back as I just buried my head into his cloak.
I needed to find a way to cope. Something that wasn't Alessia or Nyx. Something that helped me get through life. I cooked, but I don't think I want to sully that. But I'm not sure right now. This is too much to bear for me.
I pulled away from Kharon and wiped away some tears pouring down my face. "Thanks. I needed that." I sniffled a bit and tried to fix my hair the best that I could. Alessia and Nyx would be here soon, and I didn't want them to worry about me.
He stared at me for a moment, though I couldn't seem to read any set of emotions. His eyes were as vibrant as always as he stared into me. "You are welcome, mistress." He gave me one last pat before he wandered back to his desk. With graceful ease, he glided across the ground. His cloak fluttered in the wind caused by the draft of his movement.
I sniffled, sat in my seat a bit, and cleared my throat. I was still hurting, but I felt better than before. "You said, playwright? What do you enjoy about it?"
"Well, there is something about a play that is enthralling. Creating a scene and letting the actors play it out. It's beautiful if I do say so myself." He adjusted his cloak before he sat down.
"Yeah, that sounds like it is." I chuckled as I thought about the irony of it. This was much like a play, at least with how it was set up. It was a play that became all too real.
"Maybe soon I can show you one of my latest works. But it's not a play. It is a song that I wrote for my class. It's called the Death of A Phoenix." He sat down in his chair.
"You know, I think I've only seen your class in action a few times. I would like to see what it does." I cleared my throat once more and wiped away the rest of the tears that were pouring down my face. Hopefully, that was the last, for now at least.
"I prefer not to fight. It's vulgar and uncivilized if you ask me. But, I would be willing to duel with Alessia, If anything, to showcase my abilities."
"That would be nice. She just got a new class I would like to see in action. Besides, I think it would be a fantastic chance to hear your music." I smiled softly at him and adjusted my cloak to smooth away all the wrinkles. Now all I had to do was just wait for Alessia and Nyx to get here.
"Do you know what you will choose for your new class? He reached out towards the book on his desk and picked it up, sensing that the conversation that we were having was taking a turning point.
"Not yet, I'll have to take a look, but I was waiting till my mental state adjusted a bit," I replied as my eyes lazily shifted to the notifications. Maybe I should look at that real quick.
