Li Qingqian entered the dwelling, chilled all over and holding a red peony he'd picked from the side of the road.
Hong Shao's eyes immediately brightened when she saw the flower. "Ah, it's so pretty!” she said, smiling. “For me?"
Li Qingqian nodded, too afraid to look at her.
Hong Shao was delighted—not even her sickness was enough to change her unruly personality. Struggling, she climbed up from her bed and took the flower, sniffing at it. "Too bad my hair is so messy, otherwise I'd pin it on my head!" she said with a grin.
"....I'll help you brush it."
Before, she had always clung to him, cajoling Li Qingqian to braid her hair, and so she didn't think much of the offer. Hong Shao sat still for him to take down her long hair. Afterwards, it hung in her customary double knots with a scarlet peony blossom carefully pinned in those inky dark loops.
Hong Shao felt her braids, smiling as she coughed. "Dage,” she wheedled, “bring me the mirror. I want to see if it looks good."
".....Come off the bed,” Li Qingqian said after a pause. “Go look by the table."
As he spoke, he moved her only pair of embroidered shoes to the foot of the bed.
Throughout all of this, he had not met her gaze once.
Only now did Hong Shao intuitively realise that something wasn't right. She slowly turned her head to look at Li Qingqian.
The usually noisy little drum set her voice to be so soft, as if she were a timid little kitten.
Looking at him, she asked, "......Dage?"
"......."
"Dage, do you have something on your mind?"
With his hands balled up into fists and sweat gathering in his palm, Li Qingqian told her of the Guoshi seeking priestesses.
As he spoke, his head was deeply lowered. As long as he couldn't see the expression on Hong Shao's face, he could avoid his own sadness and self-blame.
"I......I....." The little drum's voice was as light as a kitten's. "I don't want to go....."
"......Hong Shao......"
With a cry, Hong Shao started sobbing. "I don't want to go! I don't! I've been sold back and forth since birth, Dage, even you don't want me anymore? You want to abandon me too! You want to send me to the fourth owner!"
"Even dogs and cats wouldn’t be able to bear changing owners four times." Hong Shao hugged her knees, crying piteously, "But I'm human....even though I'm clumsy, even though I'm stupid....I have feelings too, I too would feel sad, wouldn't be able to bear parting....I don't want to go! I don't want to leave! Let me die of sickness, I only want to spend each day with dage!"
She refused to hear anything Li Qingqian said.
But really, how could Li Qingqian bear to see her die of sickness? He hardened his heart and suddenly stood up, turning to her. "If you go to the Guoshi,” he said, “your sickness will be cured, I can receive a thousand gold cowries. Your life will be saved, I will have money. It’s good for the both of us. Please, do this for me."
Hong Shao was dazed, swallowing her tears to look at him blankly.
Li Qingqian adjusted his sleeves. "Go."
Hong Shao was still blank, but managed to say, "You......you wouldn't..."
"What wouldn't I do?!" Li Qingqian turned sharply, the rims of his eyes red, grinding his teeth. "Count this as me begging. I'm already tired enough after taking care of you for three years. If I sold you, at least I would be able to eat well. What are you clinging to me for? If you followed me forever like this, what do you think would happen to us in the end?"
Hong Shao's eyes were wide, her gaunt cheeks gradually losing their color.
What would we be able to do in the end?
Kneel to the heavens and the earth and be married? Or become sword cultivators, wandering the earth?
One person promised to another, spending a lifetime together, was very romantic, but it wasn't enough to merely have a framework of passion and two true hearts.
It needed money, confidence, a way forward, and hope.
But they lacked all of it.
Three years of accompanying each other and roaming the world together was okay, but what excuse did he have to make her accompany him in a lifetime of poverty? What the shopkeeper said was right; he couldn't even afford the oldest, shabbiest silk flower for her. Their feelings were just like the peony blossom in her hair—so beautiful when first plucked, as if tomorrow it would be just as bountiful.
But it would die.
The two of them together couldn’t be an eternal silk flower. It could only be a herbaceous peony, momentarily beautiful, but withering into the dirt by the next breath.
In this world, there were many lovers who, in the end, all lost against money, against status, against health, or even love itself.
Li Qingqian didn't know which one he had been defeated by. To put it lightly, he had lost to poverty; to put it heavily, he loved her, and therefore no matter what, he refused to see her wither at his side, and thus he had lost out to love.
But no matter how you phrased it, he was someone who had fallen utterly.
Other than sending her off, he had no other possible choice.
"A poor wretch taking along a poor woman, and in the end, becoming a poor old man dragging a poor old hag? Do you think I want to live like that?! Have you ever taken a moment to think about me!"
Hong Shao stared at him in shock. This was the first time since they met that her dage was this angry at her. She raised her head, the peony tilting, her face stained with tears.
She thought, I want to, though.
I've never dared to be greedy, never thinking of riches and honor. The best end I've imagined for my life is to simply be two old peddlers, together in the dusk, in the sunlight, in the shade. An old hag making a racket while an old geezer smiled with good humour beside her—other than heads full of white hair and bodies covered in wrinkles, they would be exactly the same as their youth.
As it turned out, this kind of end was entirely too rosy, too greedy, and was in fact absolutely unobtainable.
She was just a little slave, willing to sell herself to bury her yifu. Three years ago, Li Qingqian fulfilled her wish, which counted as buying her. And now that he wanted to sell her off, what right did she have to refuse?
Hong Shao wasn't a girl—because she was born to a lowly life, Hong Shao was destined to be a drifting, wandering thing. A plaything, nothing more.
She had been someone else's child bride, a servant girl in a big household, and a farmer family's purchased daughter. She had thought she could call Li Qingqian dage for a lifetime and settle down like drifting dust.
But it all turned out to be temporary. She had nothing to rely on again.
In the end, she went to the Guoshi.
At twilight, in the glow of the clouds, Hong Shao followed the attending official up the stage, towards the peak that was so far it seemed unattainable, to greet her fifth owner.
The bells hanging on the corner of the roof shined brightly, and at the corner of the stage, she turned, glancing down at the city gate tower.
Li Qingqian was in the middle of receiving bagfuls of gold cowries. He thanked the attendant and then slowly left. She watched his retreating back, thinking, Why don't you turn.....can't you at least give me a proper goodbye?
Can't you at least wave at me, allow me to willingly part from this three-year long daydream?
But then she thought, Forget it, forget it.
Her throat felt choked up with so much bitter pain and unwilling separation that she was afraid if he looked at her, she'd collapse. She was afraid she'd be like herself from long ago, panicky and rudely crying with no regard for anything else, entangling others inconsiderately. Begging them to keep her.
The wind picked up, blowing at the flourishing, fragrant peony at her temple and making her clothes flutter. Her eyes swam with tears, but she began to laugh involuntarily.
One thousand gold cowries could buy so many steamed buns.
From now on, dage would never go hungry again, right?
Truly, not turning around was fine, not keeping her was fine. Three years ago, she only wanted to live well, which was why she cried out so inconsiderately at his retreating back.
But now, she was afraid.
She was afraid her cries couldn't stop him. That would hurt so much, she'd never be able to walk even a step forward ever again.
She had to keep going.
She had to....
Right before her tears fell, she quickly lowered her line of sight, keeping it on the corridor hung with silks and chiming with bells. She walked continually onwards.
Slipped out of her embroidered shoes, took off the peony.
They were so poor—all that remained of those three years was a bit of yearning.
Above on the noble's stage, beneath the hanging screens, there came indistinct sounds of music and singing.
“The old jackdaw worries, green willow shoots are tender. Without separation personally felt, no one would believe in white-haired heartbreak.”
The glow of twilight shone on the roof, passing through to illuminate the stage splendidly. Hong Shao had kept this final piece of yearning.
With every step, she walked further.
"Guts have broken, tears are hard to retract, yearning to climb the red tower. Knowing the cut-off sky, but still clinging to the railing."
The blood red sun swallowed her shadow, her surroundings sinking down at the end of day.
A long farewell.
After this, Li Qingqian was all alone in the world, never again keeping someone by his side. Those thousand gold cowries seemed to have been thrown into dirt, seeing as he rarely spent any. After many years, while watching a profusion of peonies in the courtyard, he finally had a breakthrough upon his Water Parting Sword Technique—with a cry of sadness or of a gong, with the shout of the wind and the whistle of lighting, water parted the skies.
Everything changed like a burst of fireworks, sparking out in front of Mo Xi's eyes.
This spinning paper lantern stopped at a silent, desolate mountain, covered in clusters of white bone—this was the well-known Battle of the Maiden's Lament Mountain.
In fact, as soon as Mo Xi watched Hong Shao walk towards the city gate tower, becoming one of the Liao Kingdom's priestesses, he’d felt a sense of unease. Mo Xi wasn't as naive as Li Qingqian—he was all too familiar with freaks from the Liao Kingdom, especially that mysterious Guoshi who was crazier than a wild dog. What "astrological insights, prayers for the nation's prosperity"? Even though others believed it, Mo Xi did not.
The Liao Kingdom ate humans and drank blood, deranged to the utmost. Hong Shao's departure did not bode well.
And then, based on the rumours of the Maiden's Lament Mountain, it was said the Liao Kingdom had snatched a couple hundred girls, dressed them up as brides, and offered them in sacrifice to the mountain god. Two events, once linked, gave Mo Xi a faint inkling...
And, as a fact, his suspicions regarding the Liao Kingdom were usually correct.
Upon the Maiden's Lament Mountain, the fierce ghosts were innumerable, with Li Qingqian suppressing them in droves. But since his heart was kind, he wasn't willing to let others hurt the souls of these girls. He entrusted his Water Parting Sword Manual to his younger brother for safekeeping and retreated to a far-off island with the hundreds of souls, wishing to help them find peace.
Naturally, each fierce ghost had to be sent off individually, letting them release their vicious energy one by one in order for their souls to return to the wheel of reincarnation.
With each soul he sent off, Li Qingqian watched them depart and fly out towards the vast sea.
The dead maidens all wore mottled red clothing. While they were vicious, they weren't aware, but once the vicious energy left, they lost all their living memories. Every day, he watched one dead soul come bitterly out of the soul lamp and depart blankly.
Just like this, day in and day out.
Li Qingqian released more and more souls, becoming more and more frightened—he noticed every one of these maidens looked too much like a certain person.
Like the one who had chased after him, like the one he left behind at the city gate tower.
The female ghosts, before their resentment dissipated, would all unknowingly repeat the last words they said as they died. Li Qingqian heard so many; some were screaming in pain, some were calling for their parents, some were mumbling...
Don't bury me....Don't lie to me....I don't want to die......
Don't bury me.
Don't lie to me.....
I don't want to die! I DON’T WANT TO DIE!
The words were one thing, the ghosts' similarity was another, they all piled up as unease in Li Qingqian's heart—were these women from the Liao Kingdom? Why did they have such similar looks?
There was an answer on the edge of his mind, but he was too afraid to believe it, too afraid to think of it.
The resentful ghosts in the soul lamp grew fewer and fewer. Mo Xi noticed that with every spirit Li Qingqian let out, his hands would shake. It was only when he had ascertained the female ghost wasn't Hong Shao did his trembling stop.
Like stealing a lifeline, he would heave a sigh of relief.
Until he released the final ghost.
On that early morning, Li Qingqian was carrying the soul lamp as usual. Mo Xi noticed his gait was much more relaxed than before. Since only one ghost remained from the Maiden's Lament Mountain, Li Qingqian thought his previous suspicions were merely from overthinking.
His Hong Shao was probably fine, reading the stars and being a good priestess. It definitely wasn’t like what his wild imagination thought.....
One last ghost, like a lonely curl of smoke, drifted out of the lamp and formed a shape.
The female ghost's figure was slight, wearing a phoenix headdress and scarlet wedding clothes, and was.....Li Qingqian felt struck by lighting, blood running cold—
"Hong Shao?!!!" he blurted out, as if the words had escaped from his mouth.
The faint image seemed like a nightmare finally coming true.
Hong Shao's resentful spirit hovered blankly in front of him, her features still like what appeared in his dreams. She even had the afterimage of a peony at her temple, and her feet were still wearing the goose-yellow embroidered slippers…but she did not know how to laugh, did not know how to jump around, did not know how to make a ruckus like a little drum. She was just like all the other suppressed fierce ghosts, her heart and memories already obliterated, only leaving behind a lonely soul floating in front of him.
Even the most naive and stupid person would now know the Guoshi had been tricking them. Those girls they had been given never became priestesses, but instead offerings for the mountain god, a mess of corpse and bone.
The nobles’ trickery had deceived all of those desperate souls.
Hong Shao floated, suspended in the air, muttering her final dying words. Her eyes were empty as she repeatedly said, "Turn around.....Dage.....I want to say a proper goodbye....."
Turn around please, I don't expect to grow old with you, I don't expect that you'll reach a hand out towards me again, take me wandering and teach me the sword.
I just thought, I thought, I've always been the one chasing you, it's always been me looking at your back. When we say goodbye, can it be you watching me go up the tower, will you finally be the one looking at me?
I don’t want to die just like this, Dage.
All my life, I've never said goodbye to you.
From Mo Xi's vantage point, he couldn't see Li Qingqian's face, who was deathly still and silent.
After a long time, as though a flood had finally broken through the dam, a violent, animalistic howling came from Li Qingqian's throat.
Wordless ululations, sobbing and screaming, reverberated within the vision. Each cry sounded as if it had been dug out from his throat, together with blood and flesh.
He cried, I shouldn't have sent you off....I shouldn't have sent you....
If I didn't send you off, I wouldn’t have been able to heal you, but I could have kept you company—the one who would have suffered was me. But I was selfish, I was weak, I pushed you onto others, made my escape, and gave all the suffering to you.
He knelt in front of Hong Shao's dead soul, a mirror of their first meeting when Hong Shao knelt in the dirt, shaking with grief as he sobbed.
I didn't even have the courage to give you a proper farewell, didn't give you the sincerity of an unwilling parting.
For the entire day, from the sun breaking through the horizon to the rosy purple of sunset.
One man and one ghost's final company, final dependency.
The sky had finally darkened, and wronged ghosts could not stay. She either had to fall into eternal suffering or be sent off. Li Qingqian could only muster up his energy with tears streaming down his face and begin to hoarsely recite the rebirth mantra.
To send her off, to let her pass on.
This time, amidst the sound of the vast sea and the quiet Sanskrit chanting, he was the one watching her leave.
"Namo amitābhāya tathāgatāya...."
Again and again.
"Tadyathā amṛtod-bhave......"
Hong Shao, caught in the murmuring of the rebirth mantra, unwittingly began to repeat her words. "Dage.....turn around.......look at me once more....."
"I want to.....properly say goodbye...."
"Dage...."
Suddenly.
The black qi dissipated.
The rose-tinted sky was splendidly colorful, a thousand beams of golden light entering the tides. Li Qingqian's mouth trembled as he slowly raised his head.
Hong Shao's soul was free, her eyes truly vacant.
She didn't speak, as though she was perplexed to be on this vast earth. Then, she turned her head towards the horizon, towards the sliver of twilight at the edge of the sea. Without any reluctance, she began to drift towards it.
To you, I want to say goodbye properly.
In the end, Li Qingqian couldn't cry out. Watching her retreating figure he chased her figure, hoarsely calling her name....wading into the sea...the water came up over his knees, over his waist, and the waves beat at him. He staggered and knelt, but did not lower his head.
He watched her disappear into the light between the heavens and the earth.
That year at the tower, I didn't look back. This time, I'll give it to you. It’s my turn to look at you, it's my turn to send you off.
We'll never have a chance to say a proper goodbye in this lifetime. But I'll send you off, I'll help you cross, I’ll be here to help you leave on this long journey.
Hong Shao. Hong Shao.
Like this, will you forgive me, forgive my deficiency and weakness?
Did you ever forgive me, could you ever forgive me....?
The skies were empty, the sliver of sunset blood-red.
Twilight deepened as the sea swallowed the final scrap of light. Darkness engulfed the lone island. Night came rushing amidst his tortured sobs.
Mo Xi didn't move. He didn't go look at Li Qingqian's appearance.
That kind of ruined, broken visage was one he had seen during his military affairs in poverty-stricken places throughout his entire life. He had already seen it countless times, and so it was the sort of sight he didn’t want to see the most.
Soon after, Li Qingqian went to the Liao Kingdom. He went to ask that Guoshi—what priestesses, what priestesses are used to fill mountains and placate gods?
Those are sacrifices! Sacrifices!!
His Water Parting Sword had already been cultivated to the peak, and with a chest full of hatred, a stomach full of grievance—the Liao Kingdom's guards were no match for him. He swiftly flew across roofs and ceiling beams. Finally landing at the Guoshi Hall, he slaughtered the guards within three slashes. Immediately, he kicked open the door—
Li Qingqian entered the dwelling, chilled all over and holding a red peony he'd picked from the side of the road.
Hong Shao's eyes immediately brightened when she saw the flower. "Ah, it's so pretty!” she said, smiling. “For me?"
Li Qingqian nodded, too afraid to look at her.
Hong Shao was delighted—not even her sickness was enough to change her unruly personality. Struggling, she climbed up from her bed and took the flower, sniffing at it. "Too bad my hair is so messy, otherwise I'd pin it on my head!" she said with a grin.
"....I'll help you brush it."
Before, she had always clung to him, cajoling Li Qingqian to braid her hair, and so she didn't think much of the offer. Hong Shao sat still for him to take down her long hair. Afterwards, it hung in her customary double knots with a scarlet peony blossom carefully pinned in those inky dark loops.
Hong Shao felt her braids, smiling as she coughed. "Dage,” she wheedled, “bring me the mirror. I want to see if it looks good."
".....Come off the bed,” Li Qingqian said after a pause. “Go look by the table."
As he spoke, he moved her only pair of embroidered shoes to the foot of the bed.
Throughout all of this, he had not met her gaze once.
Only now did Hong Shao intuitively realise that something wasn't right. She slowly turned her head to look at Li Qingqian.
The usually noisy little drum set her voice to be so soft, as if she were a timid little kitten.
Looking at him, she asked, "......Dage?"
"......."
"Dage, do you have something on your mind?"
With his hands balled up into fists and sweat gathering in his palm, Li Qingqian told her of the Guoshi seeking priestesses.
As he spoke, his head was deeply lowered. As long as he couldn't see the expression on Hong Shao's face, he could avoid his own sadness and self-blame.
"I......I....." The little drum's voice was as light as a kitten's. "I don't want to go....."
"......Hong Shao......"
With a cry, Hong Shao started sobbing. "I don't want to go! I don't! I've been sold back and forth since birth, Dage, even you don't want me anymore? You want to abandon me too! You want to send me to the fourth owner!"
"Even dogs and cats wouldn’t be able to bear changing owners four times." Hong Shao hugged her knees, crying piteously, "But I'm human....even though I'm clumsy, even though I'm stupid....I have feelings too, I too would feel sad, wouldn't be able to bear parting....I don't want to go! I don't want to leave! Let me die of sickness, I only want to spend each day with dage!"
She refused to hear anything Li Qingqian said.
But really, how could Li Qingqian bear to see her die of sickness? He hardened his heart and suddenly stood up, turning to her. "If you go to the Guoshi,” he said, “your sickness will be cured, I can receive a thousand gold cowries. Your life will be saved, I will have money. It’s good for the both of us. Please, do this for me."
Hong Shao was dazed, swallowing her tears to look at him blankly.
Li Qingqian adjusted his sleeves. "Go."
Hong Shao was still blank, but managed to say, "You......you wouldn't..."
"What wouldn't I do?!" Li Qingqian turned sharply, the rims of his eyes red, grinding his teeth. "Count this as me begging. I'm already tired enough after taking care of you for three years. If I sold you, at least I would be able to eat well. What are you clinging to me for? If you followed me forever like this, what do you think would happen to us in the end?"
Hong Shao's eyes were wide, her gaunt cheeks gradually losing their color.
What would we be able to do in the end?
Kneel to the heavens and the earth and be married? Or become sword cultivators, wandering the earth?
One person promised to another, spending a lifetime together, was very romantic, but it wasn't enough to merely have a framework of passion and two true hearts.
It needed money, confidence, a way forward, and hope.
But they lacked all of it.
Three years of accompanying each other and roaming the world together was okay, but what excuse did he have to make her accompany him in a lifetime of poverty? What the shopkeeper said was right; he couldn't even afford the oldest, shabbiest silk flower for her. Their feelings were just like the peony blossom in her hair—so beautiful when first plucked, as if tomorrow it would be just as bountiful.
But it would die.
The two of them together couldn’t be an eternal silk flower. It could only be a herbaceous peony, momentarily beautiful, but withering into the dirt by the next breath.
In this world, there were many lovers who, in the end, all lost against money, against status, against health, or even love itself.
Li Qingqian didn't know which one he had been defeated by. To put it lightly, he had lost to poverty; to put it heavily, he loved her, and therefore no matter what, he refused to see her wither at his side, and thus he had lost out to love.
But no matter how you phrased it, he was someone who had fallen utterly.
Other than sending her off, he had no other possible choice.
"A poor wretch taking along a poor woman, and in the end, becoming a poor old man dragging a poor old hag? Do you think I want to live like that?! Have you ever taken a moment to think about me!"
Hong Shao stared at him in shock. This was the first time since they met that her dage was this angry at her. She raised her head, the peony tilting, her face stained with tears.
She thought, I want to, though.
I've never dared to be greedy, never thinking of riches and honor. The best end I've imagined for my life is to simply be two old peddlers, together in the dusk, in the sunlight, in the shade. An old hag making a racket while an old geezer smiled with good humour beside her—other than heads full of white hair and bodies covered in wrinkles, they would be exactly the same as their youth.
As it turned out, this kind of end was entirely too rosy, too greedy, and was in fact absolutely unobtainable.
She was just a little slave, willing to sell herself to bury her yifu. Three years ago, Li Qingqian fulfilled her wish, which counted as buying her. And now that he wanted to sell her off, what right did she have to refuse?
Hong Shao wasn't a girl—because she was born to a lowly life, Hong Shao was destined to be a drifting, wandering thing. A plaything, nothing more.
She had been someone else's child bride, a servant girl in a big household, and a farmer family's purchased daughter. She had thought she could call Li Qingqian dage for a lifetime and settle down like drifting dust.
But it all turned out to be temporary. She had nothing to rely on again.
In the end, she went to the Guoshi.
At twilight, in the glow of the clouds, Hong Shao followed the attending official up the stage, towards the peak that was so far it seemed unattainable, to greet her fifth owner.
The bells hanging on the corner of the roof shined brightly, and at the corner of the stage, she turned, glancing down at the city gate tower.
Li Qingqian was in the middle of receiving bagfuls of gold cowries. He thanked the attendant and then slowly left. She watched his retreating back, thinking, Why don't you turn.....can't you at least give me a proper goodbye?
Can't you at least wave at me, allow me to willingly part from this three-year long daydream?
But then she thought, Forget it, forget it.
Her throat felt choked up with so much bitter pain and unwilling separation that she was afraid if he looked at her, she'd collapse. She was afraid she'd be like herself from long ago, panicky and rudely crying with no regard for anything else, entangling others inconsiderately. Begging them to keep her.
The wind picked up, blowing at the flourishing, fragrant peony at her temple and making her clothes flutter. Her eyes swam with tears, but she began to laugh involuntarily.
One thousand gold cowries could buy so many steamed buns.
From now on, dage would never go hungry again, right?
Truly, not turning around was fine, not keeping her was fine. Three years ago, she only wanted to live well, which was why she cried out so inconsiderately at his retreating back.
But now, she was afraid.
She was afraid her cries couldn't stop him. That would hurt so much, she'd never be able to walk even a step forward ever again.
She had to keep going.
She had to....
Right before her tears fell, she quickly lowered her line of sight, keeping it on the corridor hung with silks and chiming with bells. She walked continually onwards.
Slipped out of her embroidered shoes, took off the peony.
They were so poor—all that remained of those three years was a bit of yearning.
Above on the noble's stage, beneath the hanging screens, there came indistinct sounds of music and singing.
“The old jackdaw worries, green willow shoots are tender. Without separation personally felt, no one would believe in white-haired heartbreak.”
The glow of twilight shone on the roof, passing through to illuminate the stage splendidly. Hong Shao had kept this final piece of yearning.
With every step, she walked further.
"Guts have broken, tears are hard to retract, yearning to climb the red tower. Knowing the cut-off sky, but still clinging to the railing."
The blood red sun swallowed her shadow, her surroundings sinking down at the end of day.
A long farewell.
After this, Li Qingqian was all alone in the world, never again keeping someone by his side. Those thousand gold cowries seemed to have been thrown into dirt, seeing as he rarely spent any. After many years, while watching a profusion of peonies in the courtyard, he finally had a breakthrough upon his Water Parting Sword Technique—with a cry of sadness or of a gong, with the shout of the wind and the whistle of lighting, water parted the skies.
Everything changed like a burst of fireworks, sparking out in front of Mo Xi's eyes.
This spinning paper lantern stopped at a silent, desolate mountain, covered in clusters of white bone—this was the well-known Battle of the Maiden's Lament Mountain.
In fact, as soon as Mo Xi watched Hong Shao walk towards the city gate tower, becoming one of the Liao Kingdom's priestesses, he’d felt a sense of unease. Mo Xi wasn't as naive as Li Qingqian—he was all too familiar with freaks from the Liao Kingdom, especially that mysterious Guoshi who was crazier than a wild dog. What "astrological insights, prayers for the nation's prosperity"? Even though others believed it, Mo Xi did not.
The Liao Kingdom ate humans and drank blood, deranged to the utmost. Hong Shao's departure did not bode well.
And then, based on the rumours of the Maiden's Lament Mountain, it was said the Liao Kingdom had snatched a couple hundred girls, dressed them up as brides, and offered them in sacrifice to the mountain god. Two events, once linked, gave Mo Xi a faint inkling...
And, as a fact, his suspicions regarding the Liao Kingdom were usually correct.
Upon the Maiden's Lament Mountain, the fierce ghosts were innumerable, with Li Qingqian suppressing them in droves. But since his heart was kind, he wasn't willing to let others hurt the souls of these girls. He entrusted his Water Parting Sword Manual to his younger brother for safekeeping and retreated to a far-off island with the hundreds of souls, wishing to help them find peace.
Naturally, each fierce ghost had to be sent off individually, letting them release their vicious energy one by one in order for their souls to return to the wheel of reincarnation.
With each soul he sent off, Li Qingqian watched them depart and fly out towards the vast sea.
The dead maidens all wore mottled red clothing. While they were vicious, they weren't aware, but once the vicious energy left, they lost all their living memories. Every day, he watched one dead soul come bitterly out of the soul lamp and depart blankly.
Just like this, day in and day out.
Li Qingqian released more and more souls, becoming more and more frightened—he noticed every one of these maidens looked too much like a certain person.
Like the one who had chased after him, like the one he left behind at the city gate tower.
The female ghosts, before their resentment dissipated, would all unknowingly repeat the last words they said as they died. Li Qingqian heard so many; some were screaming in pain, some were calling for their parents, some were mumbling...
Don't bury me....Don't lie to me....I don't want to die......
Don't bury me.
Don't lie to me.....
I don't want to die! I DON’T WANT TO DIE!
The words were one thing, the ghosts' similarity was another, they all piled up as unease in Li Qingqian's heart—were these women from the Liao Kingdom? Why did they have such similar looks?
There was an answer on the edge of his mind, but he was too afraid to believe it, too afraid to think of it.
The resentful ghosts in the soul lamp grew fewer and fewer. Mo Xi noticed that with every spirit Li Qingqian let out, his hands would shake. It was only when he had ascertained the female ghost wasn't Hong Shao did his trembling stop.
Like stealing a lifeline, he would heave a sigh of relief.
Until he released the final ghost.
On that early morning, Li Qingqian was carrying the soul lamp as usual. Mo Xi noticed his gait was much more relaxed than before. Since only one ghost remained from the Maiden's Lament Mountain, Li Qingqian thought his previous suspicions were merely from overthinking.
His Hong Shao was probably fine, reading the stars and being a good priestess. It definitely wasn’t like what his wild imagination thought.....
One last ghost, like a lonely curl of smoke, drifted out of the lamp and formed a shape.
The female ghost's figure was slight, wearing a phoenix headdress and scarlet wedding clothes, and was.....Li Qingqian felt struck by lighting, blood running cold—
"Hong Shao?!!!" he blurted out, as if the words had escaped from his mouth.
The faint image seemed like a nightmare finally coming true.
Hong Shao's resentful spirit hovered blankly in front of him, her features still like what appeared in his dreams. She even had the afterimage of a peony at her temple, and her feet were still wearing the goose-yellow embroidered slippers…but she did not know how to laugh, did not know how to jump around, did not know how to make a ruckus like a little drum. She was just like all the other suppressed fierce ghosts, her heart and memories already obliterated, only leaving behind a lonely soul floating in front of him.
Even the most naive and stupid person would now know the Guoshi had been tricking them. Those girls they had been given never became priestesses, but instead offerings for the mountain god, a mess of corpse and bone.
The nobles’ trickery had deceived all of those desperate souls.
Hong Shao floated, suspended in the air, muttering her final dying words. Her eyes were empty as she repeatedly said, "Turn around.....Dage.....I want to say a proper goodbye....."
Turn around please, I don't expect to grow old with you, I don't expect that you'll reach a hand out towards me again, take me wandering and teach me the sword.
I just thought, I thought, I've always been the one chasing you, it's always been me looking at your back. When we say goodbye, can it be you watching me go up the tower, will you finally be the one looking at me?
I don’t want to die just like this, Dage.
All my life, I've never said goodbye to you.
From Mo Xi's vantage point, he couldn't see Li Qingqian's face, who was deathly still and silent.
After a long time, as though a flood had finally broken through the dam, a violent, animalistic howling came from Li Qingqian's throat.
Wordless ululations, sobbing and screaming, reverberated within the vision. Each cry sounded as if it had been dug out from his throat, together with blood and flesh.
He cried, I shouldn't have sent you off....I shouldn't have sent you....
If I didn't send you off, I wouldn’t have been able to heal you, but I could have kept you company—the one who would have suffered was me. But I was selfish, I was weak, I pushed you onto others, made my escape, and gave all the suffering to you.
He knelt in front of Hong Shao's dead soul, a mirror of their first meeting when Hong Shao knelt in the dirt, shaking with grief as he sobbed.
I didn't even have the courage to give you a proper farewell, didn't give you the sincerity of an unwilling parting.
For the entire day, from the sun breaking through the horizon to the rosy purple of sunset.
One man and one ghost's final company, final dependency.
The sky had finally darkened, and wronged ghosts could not stay. She either had to fall into eternal suffering or be sent off. Li Qingqian could only muster up his energy with tears streaming down his face and begin to hoarsely recite the rebirth mantra.
To send her off, to let her pass on.
This time, amidst the sound of the vast sea and the quiet Sanskrit chanting, he was the one watching her leave.
"Namo amitābhāya tathāgatāya...."
Again and again.
"Tadyathā amṛtod-bhave......"
Hong Shao, caught in the murmuring of the rebirth mantra, unwittingly began to repeat her words. "Dage.....turn around.......look at me once more....."
"I want to.....properly say goodbye...."
"Dage...."
Suddenly.
The black qi dissipated.
The rose-tinted sky was splendidly colorful, a thousand beams of golden light entering the tides. Li Qingqian's mouth trembled as he slowly raised his head.
Hong Shao's soul was free, her eyes truly vacant.
She didn't speak, as though she was perplexed to be on this vast earth. Then, she turned her head towards the horizon, towards the sliver of twilight at the edge of the sea. Without any reluctance, she began to drift towards it.
To you, I want to say goodbye properly.
In the end, Li Qingqian couldn't cry out. Watching her retreating figure he chased her figure, hoarsely calling her name....wading into the sea...the water came up over his knees, over his waist, and the waves beat at him. He staggered and knelt, but did not lower his head.
He watched her disappear into the light between the heavens and the earth.
That year at the tower, I didn't look back. This time, I'll give it to you. It’s my turn to look at you, it's my turn to send you off.
We'll never have a chance to say a proper goodbye in this lifetime. But I'll send you off, I'll help you cross, I’ll be here to help you leave on this long journey.
Hong Shao. Hong Shao.
Like this, will you forgive me, forgive my deficiency and weakness?
Did you ever forgive me, could you ever forgive me....?
The skies were empty, the sliver of sunset blood-red.
Twilight deepened as the sea swallowed the final scrap of light. Darkness engulfed the lone island. Night came rushing amidst his tortured sobs.
Mo Xi didn't move. He didn't go look at Li Qingqian's appearance.
That kind of ruined, broken visage was one he had seen during his military affairs in poverty-stricken places throughout his entire life. He had already seen it countless times, and so it was the sort of sight he didn’t want to see the most.
Soon after, Li Qingqian went to the Liao Kingdom. He went to ask that Guoshi—what priestesses, what priestesses are used to fill mountains and placate gods?
Those are sacrifices! Sacrifices!!
His Water Parting Sword had already been cultivated to the peak, and with a chest full of hatred, a stomach full of grievance—the Liao Kingdom's guards were no match for him. He swiftly flew across roofs and ceiling beams. Finally landing at the Guoshi Hall, he slaughtered the guards within three slashes. Immediately, he kicked open the door—
