___________________ ღღ ___________________
Madelaine
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ •.¸ ¸.• ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
[ - Sunday Sept. 08 2019, 10:15am, Dawn’s Kitchen - ]
Dawn and I are talking quietly in her kitchen. Her dads are in their respective private rooms, and Sky and Eve are nowhere to be found which means they’re probably still upstairs.
“Can I ask you another question?” I say quietly.
“Of course,” Dawn says with a smile.
“Do you still think what you saw yesterday, with the light, was real?”
She purses her lips. Then whispers back, “I mean, my memory of it hasn’t changed. With what we know at the moment, the chance that it was magic seems at least as high as any mundane explanation.”
“Hmm,” I reply.
Dawn arches an eyebrow.
“It’s just, I looked up plurality stuff a bit last night, and pretty much everything with Anne can be explained by that, except the light,” I explain quietly. “It’s not that I don’t trust Anne, it’s that I don’t know how to tell whether Anne is a part of me or not. I don’t trust my own perception, I guess.”
“I mean that’s why I want to ask Jay about it,” Dawn says evenly, “I’ve no idea what to believe, except that I love you all and want to help.”
I can’t help but blush a little from the easy, carefree way in which she says that. That she loves us. That word has never felt more strangely potent.
Once I’m done being flustered my thoughts turn back to my internal conundrum, and I frown slightly. I don’t want to invalidate what Anne and Ellie believe, but I would love to know more about it. From the back of my mind, I feel Ellie radiating agreement.
“Alright,” I acquiesce, “Let’s go see captain dad.”
___________________ ღღ ___________________
Ellie
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ •.¸ ¸.• ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
When I read a book, I see the characters and their world in my head to some extent. Everyone’s experience is different, or so I’ve heard, but essentially the more I care about the world, the more attention I pay to the descriptions of that world, and thus the more vivid the little book-movie in my brain is. The visions that stick with me the most are usually the ones that depict cozy spaces away from the hustle and bustle of normal life. Hideaways where characters can express deep truths to each other without fear of being ridiculed or shunned by anyone else.
It’s this experience of book-induced-imagination that Anne’s trying to use to teach me how to create a new space in my, uh, ‘headspace’. If I’m to create my very own custom reality, which is essentially the stated goal here, it’s going to be warm, comfy, safe, and beautiful.
“Concentrate on whatever makes your space feel like home to you. See yourself moving around in it,” Anne says quietly from beside me.
We’re both sitting on the grassy sand some distance inland from the viewing tree. Maddie’s still in there talking to Dawn over breakfast.
“How on earth did you make this place so solid?” I ask Anne, “I doubt I can keep the same exact scene in mind every time I want to go there.”
“Don’t worry,” she says, a smile in her voice, “Once you get us to your soon-to-be sanctuary, I’ll teach you how to ground it to yourself. You’ll be able to reach it quite easily afterwards. It will become a part of you, and it will grow with you. It’ll most likely not be exactly the same each time you return to it.”
Holy shit. “That sounds both terrifying and exciting,” I reply.
“I find it beautiful, personally,” Anne says.
“I’m a little leery of what you mean by ‘it becomes a part of me’?”
“It’s the same way a powerful memory becomes part of you. We’ll tie the memories of your sanctuary to impactful experiences that will be easy to recall in the future.”
I frown. “I guess that makes sense?”
Anne smiles. “It doesn’t need to make sense just yet. Focus on where you want to go, and I’ll follow you.”
“Alright,” I say, switching mental gears. “So I was thinking of having my place be a library...”
___________________ ღღ ___________________
Madelaine
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ •.¸ ¸.• ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
Dawn knocks lightly on the forest green door to Jay’s second floor study. It’s right across the hall from her room, but I rarely get to see the inside of it.
“Dad?” Dawn asks.
Ellie, I think, do you want to be here for this?
I feel a vague nod, but it’s clear she’s focused on something else.
There’s the creak of Jay’s swivel chair and the sounds of him shuffling towards the door. It opens wide for us, revealing Dawn’s historian dad in all his glory. His chestnut brown hair and beard are both freshly brushed from the looks of it. He’s wearing black sweat pants and an orange t-shirt with a black jack-o’-lantern emblazoned on the front. I smile reflexively at his open love for Halloween, it’s a month early but Jay just wears spooky stuff whenever.
“Yeah buttercup?” he asks with a smile.
I watch in real time as every process in Dawn’s brain grinds to a halt. I can’t stop myself from smiling widely at her flusteredness.
Cuuuute! Ellie chimes in from a sofa in front of our internal viewing screen. I’m here now, by the by!
I give her a mental thumbs up. Any luck getting to Oz yet? I ask.
She rolls her eyes at me. Nope, still trying to follow the yellow brick road, she says.
I grin, and pull my attention back to the body.
“Ah, um, right,” Dawn sputters, “we- can we talk in your study? There’s a, uh, issue, that we thought you might have some advice on.”
We’d discussed before coming up here what we’re going to tell Jay. We don’t want to link our questions directly to Ellie and I yet, not until we know how he feels about both plurality and magic.
Jay raises an eyebrow, but nods. He moves aside, gesturing us inward. “Sure thing, close the door behind you if you want to,” he replies.
He turns and heads back into the medium-sized room before either of us make a move, and we file in after him. The roof is still slanted in his room, but it’s high enough that no one has to crouch to stand up, and each wall has at least one bookcase overflowing with books of various genres. Including, of course, an entire wall dedicated to history textbooks and other non-fiction.
Jay’s desk is in the middle of the far side of the room, and behind it is his foam-padded swivel chair. The desk is a simple but large Ikea affair: an oak-looking table with plenty of legroom and a wide top that easily takes up a quarter of his study. He walks around it and sits down in his chair.
I gently close the door behind us while Dawn drags over two stools from by the bookcases to the near side of the desk so we can sit as we talk. We both take a few moments to settle onto them. The silence seems to grow more tense with each passing moment, as Jay waits patiently for us to get comfortable.
“So...” he says, quirking an eyebrow again as we both turn to face him, “what’s up?”
I smile nervously, and am relieved when Dawn speaks up a few moments later.
“We’ve got a friend at school,” she begins, “and they’re kind of going through a lot right now. They’re a newly hatched trans egg who’s also dealing with some tough mental stuff. We know a little bit about trans stuff, but there’s a bunch of other issues they’re struggling with that we don’t know much about. And we’re just wondering if you might have some idea of where and how to start researching?”
Jay frowns slightly. “Why did you come to me specifically? Is part of this friend’s mental stuff not knowing world history? ”
“Ah, well...” Dawn says, clearly trying to come up with a convincing lie.
We hadn’t prepared for this question, but I feel Ellie stand up. Let me take this, she says. She steps forward as I step back, like we’re twirling around each other in a dance. Then I’m standing in front of the viewing screen, watching as she focuses our eyes on Jay.
“We know you know a lot about magic and occult stuff,” Ellie says aloud, “and some of what our friend’s dealing with involves that. We didn’t tell them who we were asking.”
Jay purses his lips, both eyebrows rising in sync. “I...,” he says, before hesitating for a moment, “I see.”
“This friend has also newly come out as plural, like from that psych book of mine you asked to borrow,” Dawn adds.
Jay’s eyes widen at this news. “So newly trans, newly plural, and dealing with occult stuff?” he asks. “That’s a lot.”
“Hence why we’re here,” Dawn says with a little grimace.
“Right. Well. What are the spooky issues, then?” he asks.
Your turn, Ellie says to me. In a moment, I’ve switched back into our body.
“Well,” I begin, and catch Dawn closing her mouth out the corner of my eye. She seems relieved, apparently willing to let me tell the story, “as we said this friend is newly plural, but they have a part of their system - er, their mind? - who claims to be from another world.”
Jay actually nods a bit. “I know what a system is, one of my good friends has taught me a little about their experiences with plurality, plus what I’ve read on my own” he explains, before asking, “How does your friend feel about this newcomer to their system?”
Holy shit, Jay already knows about plurality? I feel myself jumping for joy internally as I try to keep a straight face. That makes this whole thing so much easier.
“Uh,” Dawn says a few moments later, “they feel confused. They don’t know how to tell if this person is a part of them or a legit alien.”
I realize I should probably be the one doing the explanations, Dawn doesn’t seem comfortable describing my internal issues herself.
“That does get pretty hard to determine once plurality comes into the picture,” Jay says evenly.
“Do you think it’s possible, for this ‘headmate’ to be connected to another world?” I ask.
The billion dollar question, Ellie says.
“I’m inclined to believe that everything is at least a little bit possible,” Jay replies, “but what does this friend think?”
He really doesn’t seem at all bothered by this line of inquiry, which I find incredibly strange.
He’s used to strangeness, I think? Ellie muses.
“Part of them doesn’t know what to think,” I say, “and part of them believes the other worldly person.”
“Gotcha,” Jay replies, “In that case, I’d like to talk to this friend myself, if they’re comfortable with that.”
I glance at Dawn to find her glancing at me. Crap.
“We can... arrange that,” I say hesitantly.
“Uh, there’s also one other important thing,” Dawn adds. “The other worldly part of this friend tried to show us some of their magic.”
Jay purses his lips. “And?”
“And it worked, there was a flash of light from a spot near their palm.”
Dawn’s dad stares at her. “Seriously?” he asks.
Dawn looks as nervous as I feel as she says, “Yep.”
“That’s incredible!” he says, visibly excited, “I’m honestly really proud of you two for coming to me about this, and for respecting this friend’s plurality and privacy so well.”
I see Dawn blush a bit out of the corner of my eye, and smile a bit wider. “Do you have any advice we can bring back to our friend now?” I ask.
Jay takes a breath, then seems to settle down a bit. “My general advice is to find a comfortable balance between investigating this interdimensional plural conundrum, and living their life as happily as possible,” he says, “If they want professional help, I can help them find it. And me talking to them in person, either alone or with you two, whichever they prefer, will probably be a lot more comfortable for them than a game of telephone with you two in the middle.”
I nod slowly, and Dawn and I share a hesitant glance.
What do you think? I ask Ellie.
I say go for it, she replies, if you think we need to talk to someone, Jay’s likely our best bet.
I’d like some peace of mind, I reply, so here goes nothing.
“In that case,” I say aloud, “I’m the friend. I’m probably plural, and definitely confused as hell.”
Jay stares at me with surprise written across his face.
“Um,” he says, “well in that case, can I ask who I’m speaking to?”
___________________ ღღ ___________________
Madelaine
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ •.¸ ¸.• ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
[ - Sunday Sept. 08 2019, 10:15am, Dawn’s Kitchen - ]
Dawn and I are talking quietly in her kitchen. Her dads are in their respective private rooms, and Sky and Eve are nowhere to be found which means they’re probably still upstairs.
“Can I ask you another question?” I say quietly.
“Of course,” Dawn says with a smile.
“Do you still think what you saw yesterday, with the light, was real?”
She purses her lips. Then whispers back, “I mean, my memory of it hasn’t changed. With what we know at the moment, the chance that it was magic seems at least as high as any mundane explanation.”
“Hmm,” I reply.
Dawn arches an eyebrow.
“It’s just, I looked up plurality stuff a bit last night, and pretty much everything with Anne can be explained by that, except the light,” I explain quietly. “It’s not that I don’t trust Anne, it’s that I don’t know how to tell whether Anne is a part of me or not. I don’t trust my own perception, I guess.”
“I mean that’s why I want to ask Jay about it,” Dawn says evenly, “I’ve no idea what to believe, except that I love you all and want to help.”
I can’t help but blush a little from the easy, carefree way in which she says that. That she loves us. That word has never felt more strangely potent.
Once I’m done being flustered my thoughts turn back to my internal conundrum, and I frown slightly. I don’t want to invalidate what Anne and Ellie believe, but I would love to know more about it. From the back of my mind, I feel Ellie radiating agreement.
“Alright,” I acquiesce, “Let’s go see captain dad.”
___________________ ღღ ___________________
Ellie
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ •.¸ ¸.• ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
When I read a book, I see the characters and their world in my head to some extent. Everyone’s experience is different, or so I’ve heard, but essentially the more I care about the world, the more attention I pay to the descriptions of that world, and thus the more vivid the little book-movie in my brain is. The visions that stick with me the most are usually the ones that depict cozy spaces away from the hustle and bustle of normal life. Hideaways where characters can express deep truths to each other without fear of being ridiculed or shunned by anyone else.
It’s this experience of book-induced-imagination that Anne’s trying to use to teach me how to create a new space in my, uh, ‘headspace’. If I’m to create my very own custom reality, which is essentially the stated goal here, it’s going to be warm, comfy, safe, and beautiful.
“Concentrate on whatever makes your space feel like home to you. See yourself moving around in it,” Anne says quietly from beside me.
We’re both sitting on the grassy sand some distance inland from the viewing tree. Maddie’s still in there talking to Dawn over breakfast.
“How on earth did you make this place so solid?” I ask Anne, “I doubt I can keep the same exact scene in mind every time I want to go there.”
“Don’t worry,” she says, a smile in her voice, “Once you get us to your soon-to-be sanctuary, I’ll teach you how to ground it to yourself. You’ll be able to reach it quite easily afterwards. It will become a part of you, and it will grow with you. It’ll most likely not be exactly the same each time you return to it.”
Holy shit. “That sounds both terrifying and exciting,” I reply.
“I find it beautiful, personally,” Anne says.
“I’m a little leery of what you mean by ‘it becomes a part of me’?”
“It’s the same way a powerful memory becomes part of you. We’ll tie the memories of your sanctuary to impactful experiences that will be easy to recall in the future.”
I frown. “I guess that makes sense?”
Anne smiles. “It doesn’t need to make sense just yet. Focus on where you want to go, and I’ll follow you.”
“Alright,” I say, switching mental gears. “So I was thinking of having my place be a library...”
___________________ ღღ ___________________
Madelaine
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ •.¸ ¸.• ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
Dawn knocks lightly on the forest green door to Jay’s second floor study. It’s right across the hall from her room, but I rarely get to see the inside of it.
“Dad?” Dawn asks.
Ellie, I think, do you want to be here for this?
I feel a vague nod, but it’s clear she’s focused on something else.
There’s the creak of Jay’s swivel chair and the sounds of him shuffling towards the door. It opens wide for us, revealing Dawn’s historian dad in all his glory. His chestnut brown hair and beard are both freshly brushed from the looks of it. He’s wearing black sweat pants and an orange t-shirt with a black jack-o’-lantern emblazoned on the front. I smile reflexively at his open love for Halloween, it’s a month early but Jay just wears spooky stuff whenever.
“Yeah buttercup?” he asks with a smile.
I watch in real time as every process in Dawn’s brain grinds to a halt. I can’t stop myself from smiling widely at her flusteredness.
Cuuuute! Ellie chimes in from a sofa in front of our internal viewing screen. I’m here now, by the by!
I give her a mental thumbs up. Any luck getting to Oz yet? I ask.
She rolls her eyes at me. Nope, still trying to follow the yellow brick road, she says.
I grin, and pull my attention back to the body.
“Ah, um, right,” Dawn sputters, “we- can we talk in your study? There’s a, uh, issue, that we thought you might have some advice on.”
We’d discussed before coming up here what we’re going to tell Jay. We don’t want to link our questions directly to Ellie and I yet, not until we know how he feels about both plurality and magic.
Jay raises an eyebrow, but nods. He moves aside, gesturing us inward. “Sure thing, close the door behind you if you want to,” he replies.
He turns and heads back into the medium-sized room before either of us make a move, and we file in after him. The roof is still slanted in his room, but it’s high enough that no one has to crouch to stand up, and each wall has at least one bookcase overflowing with books of various genres. Including, of course, an entire wall dedicated to history textbooks and other non-fiction.
Jay’s desk is in the middle of the far side of the room, and behind it is his foam-padded swivel chair. The desk is a simple but large Ikea affair: an oak-looking table with plenty of legroom and a wide top that easily takes up a quarter of his study. He walks around it and sits down in his chair.
I gently close the door behind us while Dawn drags over two stools from by the bookcases to the near side of the desk so we can sit as we talk. We both take a few moments to settle onto them. The silence seems to grow more tense with each passing moment, as Jay waits patiently for us to get comfortable.
“So...” he says, quirking an eyebrow again as we both turn to face him, “what’s up?”
I smile nervously, and am relieved when Dawn speaks up a few moments later.
“We’ve got a friend at school,” she begins, “and they’re kind of going through a lot right now. They’re a newly hatched trans egg who’s also dealing with some tough mental stuff. We know a little bit about trans stuff, but there’s a bunch of other issues they’re struggling with that we don’t know much about. And we’re just wondering if you might have some idea of where and how to start researching?”
Jay frowns slightly. “Why did you come to me specifically? Is part of this friend’s mental stuff not knowing world history? ”
“Ah, well...” Dawn says, clearly trying to come up with a convincing lie.
We hadn’t prepared for this question, but I feel Ellie stand up. Let me take this, she says. She steps forward as I step back, like we’re twirling around each other in a dance. Then I’m standing in front of the viewing screen, watching as she focuses our eyes on Jay.
“We know you know a lot about magic and occult stuff,” Ellie says aloud, “and some of what our friend’s dealing with involves that. We didn’t tell them who we were asking.”
Jay purses his lips, both eyebrows rising in sync. “I...,” he says, before hesitating for a moment, “I see.”
“This friend has also newly come out as plural, like from that psych book of mine you asked to borrow,” Dawn adds.
Jay’s eyes widen at this news. “So newly trans, newly plural, and dealing with occult stuff?” he asks. “That’s a lot.”
“Hence why we’re here,” Dawn says with a little grimace.
“Right. Well. What are the spooky issues, then?” he asks.
Your turn, Ellie says to me. In a moment, I’ve switched back into our body.
“Well,” I begin, and catch Dawn closing her mouth out the corner of my eye. She seems relieved, apparently willing to let me tell the story, “as we said this friend is newly plural, but they have a part of their system - er, their mind? - who claims to be from another world.”
Jay actually nods a bit. “I know what a system is, one of my good friends has taught me a little about their experiences with plurality, plus what I’ve read on my own” he explains, before asking, “How does your friend feel about this newcomer to their system?”
Holy shit, Jay already knows about plurality? I feel myself jumping for joy internally as I try to keep a straight face. That makes this whole thing so much easier.
“Uh,” Dawn says a few moments later, “they feel confused. They don’t know how to tell if this person is a part of them or a legit alien.”
I realize I should probably be the one doing the explanations, Dawn doesn’t seem comfortable describing my internal issues herself.
“That does get pretty hard to determine once plurality comes into the picture,” Jay says evenly.
“Do you think it’s possible, for this ‘headmate’ to be connected to another world?” I ask.
The billion dollar question, Ellie says.
“I’m inclined to believe that everything is at least a little bit possible,” Jay replies, “but what does this friend think?”
He really doesn’t seem at all bothered by this line of inquiry, which I find incredibly strange.
He’s used to strangeness, I think? Ellie muses.
“Part of them doesn’t know what to think,” I say, “and part of them believes the other worldly person.”
“Gotcha,” Jay replies, “In that case, I’d like to talk to this friend myself, if they’re comfortable with that.”
I glance at Dawn to find her glancing at me. Crap.
“We can... arrange that,” I say hesitantly.
“Uh, there’s also one other important thing,” Dawn adds. “The other worldly part of this friend tried to show us some of their magic.”
Jay purses his lips. “And?”
“And it worked, there was a flash of light from a spot near their palm.”
Dawn’s dad stares at her. “Seriously?” he asks.
Dawn looks as nervous as I feel as she says, “Yep.”
“That’s incredible!” he says, visibly excited, “I’m honestly really proud of you two for coming to me about this, and for respecting this friend’s plurality and privacy so well.”
I see Dawn blush a bit out of the corner of my eye, and smile a bit wider. “Do you have any advice we can bring back to our friend now?” I ask.
Jay takes a breath, then seems to settle down a bit. “My general advice is to find a comfortable balance between investigating this interdimensional plural conundrum, and living their life as happily as possible,” he says, “If they want professional help, I can help them find it. And me talking to them in person, either alone or with you two, whichever they prefer, will probably be a lot more comfortable for them than a game of telephone with you two in the middle.”
I nod slowly, and Dawn and I share a hesitant glance.
What do you think? I ask Ellie.
I say go for it, she replies, if you think we need to talk to someone, Jay’s likely our best bet.
I’d like some peace of mind, I reply, so here goes nothing.
“In that case,” I say aloud, “I’m the friend. I’m probably plural, and definitely confused as hell.”
Jay stares at me with surprise written across his face.
“Um,” he says, “well in that case, can I ask who I’m speaking to?”
