Xie Qingcheng just felt a loud bang in his head.
It was like something shattered, or something exploded violently and burned up.
His eyes widened, the strings of sanity in his head melting completely in this moment.
He simply did not believe that He Yu could do such a thing.
He Yu hated being told he was gay and broke a boy's calf bone in junior high school when he confessed to him and gave him roses.
But now he was kissing him in front of everyone, in front of the guests, the waiters, the bartenders ...... and in front of everyone else.
Xie Qingcheng was indeed calm, but this was more than he could handle.
His face burned involuntarily, shocked.
He Yu kissed him roughly on the lips, and his lips were intertwined. Xie Qingcheng was not at all familiar with his kissing skills and shamelessness, he was still confused, and it was only when their lips parted briefly between the kiss that he suddenly came to his senses.
Xie Qingcheng had never kissed anyone so intensely in his life, let alone in public.
Not to mention the fact that he was the one who was passively kissed.
Not to mention the fact that the one who kissed him was a student, a boy.
When Xie Qingcheng came back to his senses, he was so angry that his body shook and his eyes burned red in an instant.
But where do the people around you think so?
They were a different social group from the cinema audience, more open and lively, and by now they were standing up and applauding, laughing and watching the action.
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"Two of a kind!"
And little rascals whistle, "Dudes, there's a love hotel upstairs! Give us enough dog food and you two can go upstairs and do your business!"
Xie Qingcheng's male ego could not stand this kind of stimulation, but as soon as he started to struggle violently, he saw He Yu's thin lips, still wet from his encounter, laughing softly in a voice that only he could hear, from less than half an inch away from his lips, "Brother, I scared you. It's okay, it's normal in bars."
He touched him lightly with the tip of his nose, "We're just asking for a laugh, but if you keep making a scene, it'll be a joke. Do you want the joke to be on you?"
"......"
"I'm not afraid to lose face anyway, I'll do whatever you want."
The bar was so poorly lit, and the laser light was so red, orange, green, blue and purple that no one could tell Xie Qingcheng's face was blue.
He Yu rubbed against him again gently, "But if you promise to come back to me, I will let you go immediately."
"I just want you to die."
He Yu had a kind of mad light in his eyes that wasn't quite human, but he was still smiling, only it was a little scary and pouty: "Oh ...... then I'll just keep going, let's finish the full set here."
"......!"
If Xie Qingcheng's face was green before, now it is completely white, dead white.
Because He Yu is not in his right mind, his logic is different from that of a normal person, he is now in a state of self-loathing and no one knows when he will suddenly trample on his original bottom line as if it were a rubbish weed.
Xie Qingcheng used to look into He Yu's beautiful almond eyes and could tell at a glance when he was joking, when he was hesitating, and when he was serious.
But now he looked into those eyes before him, so close, but he could see nothing, they were like a fog, and he could no longer see through the brat he had once known.
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He Yu is so psychotic that his hands have even been fumbling with his buckle.
There was even more shouting around the room, with tables and chairs being slapped and even people raising their mobile phones to take pictures.
But He Yu was at least a human being at this point, and he didn't care that he was being filmed, but his other large free hand simply covered the top half of Xie Qingcheng's face, from his forehead and eyebrows to the tip of his nose, revealing only a pair of thin, slightly panting lips and a tilted chin.
When He Yu saw him freeze, he finally smiled and said it again, " Xie Qingcheng: come back."
Xie Qingcheng asked himself if he had ever been afraid of anything, but at this moment he was really frightened by He Yu.
It's crazy.
Does this man still belong to this society or not? Does he have any sense at all?
He Yu blindfolded him and kissed him on the lips again.
Xie Qingcheng, not wanting to be kissed like this, suddenly stopped talking and let He Yu sizzle, kissing those merciless, thin, cold lips.
"......"
Xie Qingcheng is clearly kissed by him until he doesn't speak.
Instead, the boy closed his eyes, rubbed the side of his jaw, and said, "Brother, if you ignore me, I'll take that as a yes."
His eyes were closed when he asked the question, but then he opened them again, staring intently at Xie Qingcheng's face, at the face that was half covered by his ten fingers. Gazing at those thin lips.
It was as if as soon as these lips opened, before a single word of no could be uttered, he would be kissed roughly anew.
He didn't know he was that sick of being gay, and even sicker of being treated like one, but he would have done anything to get Xie Qingcheng's company without thinking twice about it. What was the point of this.
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Xie Qingcheng was stiff and wooden, the wooden edge of the bar he was holding on to with his backhand had been horribly cracked.
For a moment he wanted to kill He Yu for real.
But he restrained himself in the end.
He Yu was in a long stalemate, without a clear refusal from Xie Qingcheng - because Xie Qingcheng was so mad in the head and had never experienced such a nerve-wracking battle before, and for the first time in his life he was clueless about what to do with something.
But in He Yu's eyes, this is the default.
So he finally let go of Xie Qingcheng with a satisfied smile and pulled him into his arms in a victorious gesture, lest the onlookers around him capture Xie Qingcheng's face, his eyes sorrowful on the surface, but deep down they were tinged with extreme joy.
He lifted his fingers, looking sickly but moving with extreme tenderness, the teenager gently stroking the edge of the man's ear one by one, not caring how cold and stiff the man's body was in his arms.
He held him and rocked him gently by the bar dance floor, as if a child had finally bought that longed-for piece of cake, and he bowed his head and whispered against his ear, "Brother, you're so good, you promised me."
"......"
"Then I won't make it difficult for you."
"I'll still be your brat if you do as you're told."
"......"
Creepy tenderness.
"This time, you have to treat me well. No more lying to me, okay?"
There's never a shortage of buzz at the bar, and as soon as everyone finishes watching a scene, another relationship ignites over there, and He Yu and Xie Qingcheng are no longer the focus of attention after their kiss.
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He Yu let go of Xie Qingcheng, who looked like he didn't want to talk at all anymore.
A man who is too calm may even be numb to the aftershocks of such intense stimulation.
Although there were no more people holding up their mobile phones, He Yu is a man with a strong sense of his private sphere. He doesn't mind people taking pictures of his face, but he cares about people he has touched and slept with being photographed, so beast as beast, he was careful to shield Xie Qingcheng's face during the whole process.
Now he takes off his own sporting baseball cap and puts it on Xie Qingcheng, pulling the brim down.
He seemed to be in a much better mood.
He Yu said to Xie Qingcheng, "Wait for me here for a moment."
Xie Qingcheng looked at him with a look that was too cold to be alive.
He Yu is oblivious and smiles.
Leaning over, he said something to the staff behind the bar, who nodded.
Occasionally, a customer will come on stage and steal the DJ's job, either to show affection, or to seduce, or out of boredom, or simply as an adolescent boy who likes to show off.
He Yu wasn't going to figure out which one he really belonged to, he just knew he suddenly kind of wanted to do it, and so he did.
He communicated with the resident and walked onto the stage and took the guitar that was handed to him.
He Yu lowered his eyelashes and played a tune Xie Qingcheng had never heard before in the pale spotlight, the lyrics in English, the melody sprawling and charming.
The boy plays the tunes with a light fingering and knocks the strings against the
He looks at ease and gentle, playing a song that Xie Qingcheng doesn't know.
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The melody of the song is soft, and the boy playing the music on stage seems to turn his head inadvertently, his eyes touching the face of Xie Qingcheng, half hidden in the darkness.
He Yu looks at Xie Qingcheng from a distance for a moment, feeling infinitely satisfied with the result, even though Xie Qingcheng does not look at him.
Near the end, he lowered his head and concentrated on a bit of finger-picking, eventually putting down his guitar and tilting his head to meet the spotlight that fell on him as he slowly closed his eyes.
The dust floated in the light, but could not really settle for a moment, and the people on stage applauded, and He Yu felt comfortable in that moment, far more comfortable than the old days of being a tightly disciplined Top Ten.
He thought that in future, if he wanted it, he would have to go straight for it.
When others do not give, he does not care to ask for it.
He had been too restrained and gentle before, what was the use of getting compliments and approval, and in the end trying to be that wretched and still having nothing.
Unlike now, as long as he doesn't care about the face, he gets everything - everything.
Clutched tightly in your hand.
.
It's just a pity that this satisfaction didn't last long.
A few days later, after He Yu had prepared everything and even cleaned Xie Qingcheng's previous room himself, making sure that Xie Qingcheng would be happy and comfortable, he happily called the other party and asked when Xie Qingcheng would be coming.
The result was a laugh that stuck to the microphone and slowly withered away.
It became a frost that curdled at the corners of the lips.
What he waited for was the man's reply of complete rejection after he had thought about it, and he even had a little bit of unpolished dust on his face from the big sweep when he listened to the man's cold voice on the phone.
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The man says plainly.
This matter is not allowed.
He Yu was just about to mention the photo, but Xie Qingcheng was even faster than he was, and said straight away without waiting for him to say anything.
You send. You can fucking send it if you want to. But if you send it to Xie Xue, we'll never see each other again, and that's the end of our relationship in bed. You think about it.
The excitement suddenly dissipated, leaving only a grey wreck.
Xie Qingcheng's message is clear: let's take a step back and forget about sex, which is, as far as Xie Qingcheng can figure out, a physical affair. Xie Qingcheng had already taken the matter very lightly, and He Yu could not hurt him in this way, let alone get anything out of him in this way.
In hindsight, the sad thing is that He Yu is the one.
Because He Yu has lost himself.
But not Xie Qingcheng.
After the initial psychological stress of going to bed, Xie Qingcheng's mind is no longer shaken, and he adjusts to the fact that sometimes he even sees He Yu as a young lady who comes to him.
Even though he doesn't need this kind of service and the lady is not served in this way, this mentality can bring him back to the high position he is used to.
--Not if you go back to being a private doctor.
It was a matter of social status, a matter of employment, and if he agreed to it, he would be losing both body and mind to He Yu. And it was a waste of his precious time.
So he declined.
It has to be said. Xie Qingcheng is actually far more skilful at handling He Yu than He Yu is at handling Xie Qingcheng.
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Xie Qingcheng is right, it is Xie Qingcheng who seems to have lost out in their **tangle**, but it is He Yu who has really lost himself.
Xie Qingcheng is still the same calm, ruthless Dr Xie.
When he received a clear rejection from the other party, He Yu was gloomy, as if he had fallen from the warmth of April to the bitter cold of winter.
He had been hopeful, even confident, and had sat upright to wait for the return of the man who had abandoned him four years ago.
What we got instead was a resounding slap on the face.
The dream is broken, once again.
He Yu had to stay at home and the medicine kept going down the drain.
People are prone to illness when they are suddenly happy and sad, and he was sick again.
He Yu felt cold as ice, but his body temperature broke 40 degrees Celsius, and he opened his eyes as if his retinas were burning dry.
He was lying in bed, messaging Xie Qingcheng, and he said, "I'm sick I'm sick.
I'm sick Xie Qingcheng.
I'm sick, Dr. Tse.
No response.
Xie Qingcheng may have felt that he was lying, or that his death had nothing to do with him.
In short, he never heard back from He Yu, and He Yu became increasingly ill during this long wait.
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He Yu did not care, and his private doctor came and went, changing several times, but could not relieve his symptoms. He then simply stopped letting people bother him.
Lest he have to do his best to restrain a strong hurt*.
He shut himself up in his room, and on his bookshelf were several books devoted to rare diseases of the world, and he pulled one of them out to read.
In that book, he was struck by a case of what he called "ossification".
The story is about a seemingly normal young boy abroad who, when he was six years old, accidentally broke his leg playing football. The doctor operated on him as a matter of routine treatment, but instead of healing after the operation, the boy's leg injury became increasingly swollen and had bone growth around it.
The boy underwent more than thirty major and minor operations back and forth to regain his health, before doctors were eventually shocked to discover that the boy's muscle tissue was abnormal and that whenever he was subjected to external damage, the boy's body switched on a strong self-protective mechanism and grew hard bones to counter the external impact.
"It's similar to acromegaly, but more frightening." Xie Qingcheng explained to him back then, "He can't take any bumps, even the smallest ones. A normal person who knocks will just produce a little bruise, but his collision site will grow bones. Slowly, the patient's whole body would be sealed by the bone and he wouldn't be able to move."
The boy in the case endured a long illness, watching his flesh and blood gradually harden into white bone, before finally ending this painful life in his mid-thirties.
"Because of his ossification, doctors were unable to operate on him to save his life, and he was unable to do even the slightest bit of damage to his labs during his lifetime - not even to draw blood. So he had a dying wish that doctors would be able to study his kind of case better, so that in the future, if someone unfortunate enough to suffer from the same disease as him could be cured and could live a very different life from his, he chose to donate his body to the hospital." Xie Qingcheng said at that point to the boy who was listening intently, "His skeleton is still in the museum."
The book also contains photographs of a twisted skeleton standing silently in a transparent and clean display case.
As well as the phrase "He passed away with seventy percent ossification of his entire body."
But He Yu's attention was more focused on another photograph, of a similar skeleton in a display case adjacent to the man's remains, which looked even smaller, with ribs almost entirely glued together in a ghastly fashion.
"That's another girl." Sensing his gaze, Xie Qingcheng said, "Communication was not well developed at the time and they were not from the same country. He did not know that while he endured the loneliness that no one could know, there was in fact a girl on the other side of the Channel with the same disease. That girl only learned after his death that she had someone else in the world who could share the same illness."
"But that girl was optimistic and didn't give up on life because of her ossification disease. She focused on fashion and designed herself many special dresses for events ...... When she died, she made the same choice and later people displayed their bones side by side in the medical museum. They never met in life, so perhaps in death they will be able to support and comfort each other - that was a bit of the vision of the museum's director."
Xie Qingcheng closed the book and told He Yu, who was feverish and a little sleepy, that year.
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"Maybe there's someone else suffering from the same illness as you, you just don't know it. Maybe that person is also trying very hard to live, you just don't know it either. He Yu: don't you lose out to others."
Young He Yu, dazed with fever, thirsty for blood, yet weak, sank into the soft, thick bedding, squinting and staring vaguely at Xie Qingcheng's face.
"And when I die, will someone be stored alongside me in the museum too?"
"I'm afraid your bones are not much of a display." Xie Qingcheng said, "so I suggest you think about how to live first."
But what is the point of living?
Some are in it for the money, some for the power, some for the fame and fortune, and some for the love and family.
And none of these things seem to have anything to do with him nowadays; they have either abandoned him or he has no interest in them.
He Yu casually played with a stationery knife. After taking the special medication, which still had no significant effect, he sat by the window and turned his eyes away as he watched their throats cut open one by one.
The hands were trembling, the pupils were contracted tightly, but there was no half-hearted expression on his face.
He pushed out the blade and placed it against his own wrist, still, as before, he wanted to transfer the damage he had done to others, to himself.
The scar and tattoo marks on his wrist are faint. He inclined his face for a moment, held the blade and slashed down lazily -
n-o-t-h-i-n-g ......
It was as if the tattoo artist's voice was ringing in my ears again, "This is a bit long and it's going to hurt, why don't we change it?"
"It's fine."
It's okay, I'll take that.
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Nothg of hi that doth fade.
But doth suffer a sea-ge.
Into sothg rid strange.
He watched with rapt attention as the letters appeared one by one, the blood dripping down like spider silk. Perhaps, he thought, this was what Xie Qingcheng wanted to see, his karma.
Even if he were dead now, Xie Qingcheng would probably set off a firecracker to celebrate when he found out ......
The young man sat silently at the edge of the window on the first floor of the cottage, outside a vast expanse of fiery haze, so blinding that he gradually could not open his eyes. He was in a trance, his body swaying, and then ......
It seemed light all at once, and the evening breeze blew across his face, bringing him a long-ago tenderness.
He leans forward and falls down ......
"Bang!"
--
"!!! Young master! The young master has fallen!"
"Oh my God! Help!!!"
"Call emergency!!! Call first aid quickly!!!"
Xie Qingcheng just felt a loud bang in his head.
It was like something shattered, or something exploded violently and burned up.
His eyes widened, the strings of sanity in his head melting completely in this moment.
He simply did not believe that He Yu could do such a thing.
He Yu hated being told he was gay and broke a boy's calf bone in junior high school when he confessed to him and gave him roses.
But now he was kissing him in front of everyone, in front of the guests, the waiters, the bartenders ...... and in front of everyone else.
Xie Qingcheng was indeed calm, but this was more than he could handle.
His face burned involuntarily, shocked.
He Yu kissed him roughly on the lips, and his lips were intertwined. Xie Qingcheng was not at all familiar with his kissing skills and shamelessness, he was still confused, and it was only when their lips parted briefly between the kiss that he suddenly came to his senses.
Xie Qingcheng had never kissed anyone so intensely in his life, let alone in public.
Not to mention the fact that he was the one who was passively kissed.
Not to mention the fact that the one who kissed him was a student, a boy.
When Xie Qingcheng came back to his senses, he was so angry that his body shook and his eyes burned red in an instant.
But where do the people around you think so?
They were a different social group from the cinema audience, more open and lively, and by now they were standing up and applauding, laughing and watching the action.
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"Two of a kind!"
And little rascals whistle, "Dudes, there's a love hotel upstairs! Give us enough dog food and you two can go upstairs and do your business!"
Xie Qingcheng's male ego could not stand this kind of stimulation, but as soon as he started to struggle violently, he saw He Yu's thin lips, still wet from his encounter, laughing softly in a voice that only he could hear, from less than half an inch away from his lips, "Brother, I scared you. It's okay, it's normal in bars."
He touched him lightly with the tip of his nose, "We're just asking for a laugh, but if you keep making a scene, it'll be a joke. Do you want the joke to be on you?"
"......"
"I'm not afraid to lose face anyway, I'll do whatever you want."
The bar was so poorly lit, and the laser light was so red, orange, green, blue and purple that no one could tell Xie Qingcheng's face was blue.
He Yu rubbed against him again gently, "But if you promise to come back to me, I will let you go immediately."
"I just want you to die."
He Yu had a kind of mad light in his eyes that wasn't quite human, but he was still smiling, only it was a little scary and pouty: "Oh ...... then I'll just keep going, let's finish the full set here."
"......!"
If Xie Qingcheng's face was green before, now it is completely white, dead white.
Because He Yu is not in his right mind, his logic is different from that of a normal person, he is now in a state of self-loathing and no one knows when he will suddenly trample on his original bottom line as if it were a rubbish weed.
Xie Qingcheng used to look into He Yu's beautiful almond eyes and could tell at a glance when he was joking, when he was hesitating, and when he was serious.
But now he looked into those eyes before him, so close, but he could see nothing, they were like a fog, and he could no longer see through the brat he had once known.
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He Yu is so psychotic that his hands have even been fumbling with his buckle.
There was even more shouting around the room, with tables and chairs being slapped and even people raising their mobile phones to take pictures.
But He Yu was at least a human being at this point, and he didn't care that he was being filmed, but his other large free hand simply covered the top half of Xie Qingcheng's face, from his forehead and eyebrows to the tip of his nose, revealing only a pair of thin, slightly panting lips and a tilted chin.
When He Yu saw him freeze, he finally smiled and said it again, " Xie Qingcheng: come back."
Xie Qingcheng asked himself if he had ever been afraid of anything, but at this moment he was really frightened by He Yu.
It's crazy.
Does this man still belong to this society or not? Does he have any sense at all?
He Yu blindfolded him and kissed him on the lips again.
Xie Qingcheng, not wanting to be kissed like this, suddenly stopped talking and let He Yu sizzle, kissing those merciless, thin, cold lips.
"......"
Xie Qingcheng is clearly kissed by him until he doesn't speak.
Instead, the boy closed his eyes, rubbed the side of his jaw, and said, "Brother, if you ignore me, I'll take that as a yes."
His eyes were closed when he asked the question, but then he opened them again, staring intently at Xie Qingcheng's face, at the face that was half covered by his ten fingers. Gazing at those thin lips.
It was as if as soon as these lips opened, before a single word of no could be uttered, he would be kissed roughly anew.
He didn't know he was that sick of being gay, and even sicker of being treated like one, but he would have done anything to get Xie Qingcheng's company without thinking twice about it. What was the point of this.
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Xie Qingcheng was stiff and wooden, the wooden edge of the bar he was holding on to with his backhand had been horribly cracked.
For a moment he wanted to kill He Yu for real.
But he restrained himself in the end.
He Yu was in a long stalemate, without a clear refusal from Xie Qingcheng - because Xie Qingcheng was so mad in the head and had never experienced such a nerve-wracking battle before, and for the first time in his life he was clueless about what to do with something.
But in He Yu's eyes, this is the default.
So he finally let go of Xie Qingcheng with a satisfied smile and pulled him into his arms in a victorious gesture, lest the onlookers around him capture Xie Qingcheng's face, his eyes sorrowful on the surface, but deep down they were tinged with extreme joy.
He lifted his fingers, looking sickly but moving with extreme tenderness, the teenager gently stroking the edge of the man's ear one by one, not caring how cold and stiff the man's body was in his arms.
He held him and rocked him gently by the bar dance floor, as if a child had finally bought that longed-for piece of cake, and he bowed his head and whispered against his ear, "Brother, you're so good, you promised me."
"......"
"Then I won't make it difficult for you."
"I'll still be your brat if you do as you're told."
"......"
Creepy tenderness.
"This time, you have to treat me well. No more lying to me, okay?"
There's never a shortage of buzz at the bar, and as soon as everyone finishes watching a scene, another relationship ignites over there, and He Yu and Xie Qingcheng are no longer the focus of attention after their kiss.
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He Yu let go of Xie Qingcheng, who looked like he didn't want to talk at all anymore.
A man who is too calm may even be numb to the aftershocks of such intense stimulation.
Although there were no more people holding up their mobile phones, He Yu is a man with a strong sense of his private sphere. He doesn't mind people taking pictures of his face, but he cares about people he has touched and slept with being photographed, so beast as beast, he was careful to shield Xie Qingcheng's face during the whole process.
Now he takes off his own sporting baseball cap and puts it on Xie Qingcheng, pulling the brim down.
He seemed to be in a much better mood.
He Yu said to Xie Qingcheng, "Wait for me here for a moment."
Xie Qingcheng looked at him with a look that was too cold to be alive.
He Yu is oblivious and smiles.
Leaning over, he said something to the staff behind the bar, who nodded.
Occasionally, a customer will come on stage and steal the DJ's job, either to show affection, or to seduce, or out of boredom, or simply as an adolescent boy who likes to show off.
He Yu wasn't going to figure out which one he really belonged to, he just knew he suddenly kind of wanted to do it, and so he did.
He communicated with the resident and walked onto the stage and took the guitar that was handed to him.
He Yu lowered his eyelashes and played a tune Xie Qingcheng had never heard before in the pale spotlight, the lyrics in English, the melody sprawling and charming.
The boy plays the tunes with a light fingering and knocks the strings against the
He looks at ease and gentle, playing a song that Xie Qingcheng doesn't know.
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The melody of the song is soft, and the boy playing the music on stage seems to turn his head inadvertently, his eyes touching the face of Xie Qingcheng, half hidden in the darkness.
He Yu looks at Xie Qingcheng from a distance for a moment, feeling infinitely satisfied with the result, even though Xie Qingcheng does not look at him.
Near the end, he lowered his head and concentrated on a bit of finger-picking, eventually putting down his guitar and tilting his head to meet the spotlight that fell on him as he slowly closed his eyes.
The dust floated in the light, but could not really settle for a moment, and the people on stage applauded, and He Yu felt comfortable in that moment, far more comfortable than the old days of being a tightly disciplined Top Ten.
He thought that in future, if he wanted it, he would have to go straight for it.
When others do not give, he does not care to ask for it.
He had been too restrained and gentle before, what was the use of getting compliments and approval, and in the end trying to be that wretched and still having nothing.
Unlike now, as long as he doesn't care about the face, he gets everything - everything.
Clutched tightly in your hand.
.
It's just a pity that this satisfaction didn't last long.
A few days later, after He Yu had prepared everything and even cleaned Xie Qingcheng's previous room himself, making sure that Xie Qingcheng would be happy and comfortable, he happily called the other party and asked when Xie Qingcheng would be coming.
The result was a laugh that stuck to the microphone and slowly withered away.
It became a frost that curdled at the corners of the lips.
What he waited for was the man's reply of complete rejection after he had thought about it, and he even had a little bit of unpolished dust on his face from the big sweep when he listened to the man's cold voice on the phone.
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The man says plainly.
This matter is not allowed.
He Yu was just about to mention the photo, but Xie Qingcheng was even faster than he was, and said straight away without waiting for him to say anything.
You send. You can fucking send it if you want to. But if you send it to Xie Xue, we'll never see each other again, and that's the end of our relationship in bed. You think about it.
The excitement suddenly dissipated, leaving only a grey wreck.
Xie Qingcheng's message is clear: let's take a step back and forget about sex, which is, as far as Xie Qingcheng can figure out, a physical affair. Xie Qingcheng had already taken the matter very lightly, and He Yu could not hurt him in this way, let alone get anything out of him in this way.
In hindsight, the sad thing is that He Yu is the one.
Because He Yu has lost himself.
But not Xie Qingcheng.
After the initial psychological stress of going to bed, Xie Qingcheng's mind is no longer shaken, and he adjusts to the fact that sometimes he even sees He Yu as a young lady who comes to him.
Even though he doesn't need this kind of service and the lady is not served in this way, this mentality can bring him back to the high position he is used to.
--Not if you go back to being a private doctor.
It was a matter of social status, a matter of employment, and if he agreed to it, he would be losing both body and mind to He Yu. And it was a waste of his precious time.
So he declined.
It has to be said. Xie Qingcheng is actually far more skilful at handling He Yu than He Yu is at handling Xie Qingcheng.
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Xie Qingcheng is right, it is Xie Qingcheng who seems to have lost out in their **tangle**, but it is He Yu who has really lost himself.
Xie Qingcheng is still the same calm, ruthless Dr Xie.
When he received a clear rejection from the other party, He Yu was gloomy, as if he had fallen from the warmth of April to the bitter cold of winter.
He had been hopeful, even confident, and had sat upright to wait for the return of the man who had abandoned him four years ago.
What we got instead was a resounding slap on the face.
The dream is broken, once again.
He Yu had to stay at home and the medicine kept going down the drain.
People are prone to illness when they are suddenly happy and sad, and he was sick again.
He Yu felt cold as ice, but his body temperature broke 40 degrees Celsius, and he opened his eyes as if his retinas were burning dry.
He was lying in bed, messaging Xie Qingcheng, and he said, "I'm sick I'm sick.
I'm sick Xie Qingcheng.
I'm sick, Dr. Tse.
No response.
Xie Qingcheng may have felt that he was lying, or that his death had nothing to do with him.
In short, he never heard back from He Yu, and He Yu became increasingly ill during this long wait.
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He Yu did not care, and his private doctor came and went, changing several times, but could not relieve his symptoms. He then simply stopped letting people bother him.
Lest he have to do his best to restrain a strong hurt*.
He shut himself up in his room, and on his bookshelf were several books devoted to rare diseases of the world, and he pulled one of them out to read.
In that book, he was struck by a case of what he called "ossification".
The story is about a seemingly normal young boy abroad who, when he was six years old, accidentally broke his leg playing football. The doctor operated on him as a matter of routine treatment, but instead of healing after the operation, the boy's leg injury became increasingly swollen and had bone growth around it.
The boy underwent more than thirty major and minor operations back and forth to regain his health, before doctors were eventually shocked to discover that the boy's muscle tissue was abnormal and that whenever he was subjected to external damage, the boy's body switched on a strong self-protective mechanism and grew hard bones to counter the external impact.
"It's similar to acromegaly, but more frightening." Xie Qingcheng explained to him back then, "He can't take any bumps, even the smallest ones. A normal person who knocks will just produce a little bruise, but his collision site will grow bones. Slowly, the patient's whole body would be sealed by the bone and he wouldn't be able to move."
The boy in the case endured a long illness, watching his flesh and blood gradually harden into white bone, before finally ending this painful life in his mid-thirties.
"Because of his ossification, doctors were unable to operate on him to save his life, and he was unable to do even the slightest bit of damage to his labs during his lifetime - not even to draw blood. So he had a dying wish that doctors would be able to study his kind of case better, so that in the future, if someone unfortunate enough to suffer from the same disease as him could be cured and could live a very different life from his, he chose to donate his body to the hospital." Xie Qingcheng said at that point to the boy who was listening intently, "His skeleton is still in the museum."
The book also contains photographs of a twisted skeleton standing silently in a transparent and clean display case.
As well as the phrase "He passed away with seventy percent ossification of his entire body."
But He Yu's attention was more focused on another photograph, of a similar skeleton in a display case adjacent to the man's remains, which looked even smaller, with ribs almost entirely glued together in a ghastly fashion.
"That's another girl." Sensing his gaze, Xie Qingcheng said, "Communication was not well developed at the time and they were not from the same country. He did not know that while he endured the loneliness that no one could know, there was in fact a girl on the other side of the Channel with the same disease. That girl only learned after his death that she had someone else in the world who could share the same illness."
"But that girl was optimistic and didn't give up on life because of her ossification disease. She focused on fashion and designed herself many special dresses for events ...... When she died, she made the same choice and later people displayed their bones side by side in the medical museum. They never met in life, so perhaps in death they will be able to support and comfort each other - that was a bit of the vision of the museum's director."
Xie Qingcheng closed the book and told He Yu, who was feverish and a little sleepy, that year.
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"Maybe there's someone else suffering from the same illness as you, you just don't know it. Maybe that person is also trying very hard to live, you just don't know it either. He Yu: don't you lose out to others."
Young He Yu, dazed with fever, thirsty for blood, yet weak, sank into the soft, thick bedding, squinting and staring vaguely at Xie Qingcheng's face.
"And when I die, will someone be stored alongside me in the museum too?"
"I'm afraid your bones are not much of a display." Xie Qingcheng said, "so I suggest you think about how to live first."
But what is the point of living?
Some are in it for the money, some for the power, some for the fame and fortune, and some for the love and family.
And none of these things seem to have anything to do with him nowadays; they have either abandoned him or he has no interest in them.
He Yu casually played with a stationery knife. After taking the special medication, which still had no significant effect, he sat by the window and turned his eyes away as he watched their throats cut open one by one.
The hands were trembling, the pupils were contracted tightly, but there was no half-hearted expression on his face.
He pushed out the blade and placed it against his own wrist, still, as before, he wanted to transfer the damage he had done to others, to himself.
The scar and tattoo marks on his wrist are faint. He inclined his face for a moment, held the blade and slashed down lazily -
n-o-t-h-i-n-g ......
It was as if the tattoo artist's voice was ringing in my ears again, "This is a bit long and it's going to hurt, why don't we change it?"
"It's fine."
It's okay, I'll take that.
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Nothg of hi that doth fade.
But doth suffer a sea-ge.
Into sothg rid strange.
He watched with rapt attention as the letters appeared one by one, the blood dripping down like spider silk. Perhaps, he thought, this was what Xie Qingcheng wanted to see, his karma.
Even if he were dead now, Xie Qingcheng would probably set off a firecracker to celebrate when he found out ......
The young man sat silently at the edge of the window on the first floor of the cottage, outside a vast expanse of fiery haze, so blinding that he gradually could not open his eyes. He was in a trance, his body swaying, and then ......
It seemed light all at once, and the evening breeze blew across his face, bringing him a long-ago tenderness.
He leans forward and falls down ......
"Bang!"
--
"!!! Young master! The young master has fallen!"
"Oh my God! Help!!!"
"Call emergency!!! Call first aid quickly!!!"
