Chapter 138
Translator: yun
An easy path had not been laid out for me since the beginning. I wanted to keep my words concise to solve this unusual situation so I chose to just keep calm.
This was not self-study. The depth of thought was too deep. I did not even try to understand. The texture of the old leather was vividly engraved in my mind.
“Dane, would you be able to recognise me no matter what form I take?”
I faced the bright red eyes looking at me.
“Can you promise me? No matter what happens in the future, nothing changes?”
Even though I might die and come back to life again.
Nothing was for certain in this world. It could be said that the sweet whispers of love were merely a peak in hormones that would disappear after a few years. I still wanted to believe. That somewhere, there was a spring waiting for my fairytale-like happy ending and that continuous love existed.
“Ashley. That’s a given.”
Dane narrowed his eyes slightly before grabbing my hand without hurting me.
“If you have any more secrets,”
After a certain point, only my hands started getting cold. Dane’s hands were evidently warmer than mine and felt cozy like a fireplace.
“I will only love you more.”
I blinked for a moment before staring back at him.
“Even if you are able to tell the future.”
“…..”
Dane came poking at me with something that felt like a root.
“No matter what you’ve been through.”
During the pause that he took, a strange feeling bubbled up from within. When he raised his head, Dane continued to speak with a calm expression as if nothing had happened.
“I’m smart, Ashley.”
He was smiling. But I did not know why I felt sad.
“That’s why I know things others don’t know. No, I’ll find out.”
Right. He was smart. I nodded.
“Sometimes, I do think it’d be a blessing to be able to predict and know everything but at the same time it also seems like a curse.”
After saying something unexpected, he smiled broadly.
“But you’re you, Ashley.”
He knew that I did not want to speak anymore and continued to push me over the edge.
“No matter what appearance you take on, Ashley Rosé. I know it’s you.”
“…..”
He had always been quick-witted. So, he could always say what I wanted to hear in such a friendly voice. Whenever he acted as such, it sometimes felt as if he knew better than I did.
Just like what he was doing now.
“No matter what you’ve been through. You’re you.”
It sounded like the cheap words I would hear in a youth drama. Whether it was because I caused trouble or because I had an unfortunate past, I would be alright. I could rise up again. Of course, it all depended on who was saying those words.
“It sounds like what kids in puberty would say.”
“I am in puberty.”
When he smiled, I felt like smiling together with him to get rid of all the bad thoughts in my head. Perhaps this was a spell created by the times Dane and I spent together. His voice, which was filled with his grins, sounded friendly and sweet.
“I need your attention.”
The night hid our sullen feelings as the moonlight shone upon us. I raised my head. A night where the moon was fully lit. Even though the moon was not completely cold, it was so bright I could see all of its beautiful faces.
When the morning comes, my feelings of sadness might come again. I gave a blurred smile. Still, I was relieved. Even though we could not walk together, there was a time where we comforted each other and received relief from each other.
“I wonder what it would have been like if we weren’t siblings, Ashley.”
In the room where the blue light engulfed like the sea, it was only his pair of red eyes that were smiling brighter than the moon.
“Then, I wouldn’t have left you alone.”
Come to think of it, I thought I looked like a mess.
“Dane. My feet hurt. My legs too.”
My hair must have been a mess and my face too. When I left the palace, I thought I looked pretty and alright but I was sure I did not look good now.
Dane brought the hand that had been holding his own cheek to mine. It tickled when his burning fingers wriggled between mine but it did not feel too bad. He turned his head and placed his lips on my hand. Even before I could say anything, his lips whispered.
“Did you get hurt outside?”
“… No. Nothing like that. My shoulders hurt, my back hurts and my waist hurts a little. Is it because of my lack of exercise? It feels like muscle ache…”
“Ashley.”
Dane looked at me and flashed a grin. But it seemed like he was trying to fill the empty silence rather than actually smiling.
“Don’t laugh. It actually hurts.”
Was it a side effect of Amor’s drug? My whole body really hurts. Or was my body just screaming from extreme fatigue? Whether it was this body or the body I transformed into, it was clear that this body sucked.
“Dane.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m dirty.”
After the silence, he spoke quietly.
“Can you still give me a hug?”
Even in the shadows of the dark, his red eyes that contained me were clear and reflected a fascinating light like that of a glass bead.
He removed his fingers that have been tickling my cheek before gently holding me.
“As much as you want.”
As soon as he finished talking, I spaced out for a moment because of the scent that was drafted into my nose. The pleasant scent that Dane gave off reminded me of his calm breaths and his soft whispering voice. His hands held me.
“You’re too far away.”
“Yeah, I’m happy that you can do anything for me.”
It was obvious that my sweat might have dried and smelled by now but he did not seem to be disliking it. It was as if he could accept even this side of me.
I wondered why it felt like Dane could do anything for me. If I asked if I could stop time here, it felt like he would search through all the books in the world to find a way. If I asked him to pick a star for me, he would really find something as close to a star as he possibly could.
Was it when I was eight? While reading a book, I mumbled what I wanted subconsciously and I remembered receiving two gifts the next day. One was sent from Fleon who had spent a lot of money and the other was sent by Dane which was surprisingly similar to the thing I described as if it had just popped out of the book. It had been so long that I had forgotten what the item was but I remembered having a hard time believing it when Dane brought it to me.
Dane.
He was the sweetest person I had in my world.
“You know. I did not have a particularly hard time out there.”
“Yeah.”
There were days I wanted to cling onto anyone I could and just cry. There were days when I did not want to say anything but wanted to tell someone everything.
There was no one around me so when this terrible nightmare chased after me, I felt so lonely. I was embraced by an emotion that I could not share with anyone. I had been holding a face that could not cry.
“… I was just a little lonely.”
I wanted to talk about it when there was someone next to me. Even then, because there was someone next to me, I wanted to remain silent. I murmured as I buried my face deep into Dane’s shoulder.
“… Thank you. For doing it the same.”
I could feel a slight vibration as if he was responding to my small murmur.
“The Imperial Palace is a cold place.”
Would it be difficult even for the strong-looking Dane? How did Dane overcome his trying and painful times? I hoped he was happy. I mumbled as I buried into his shoulders. Even though I was the one whispering, I could barely hear my own voice.
For a moment, I thought about Dane from the <Light of Rusbella>. I wondered what kind of person Dane was in the original novel?
I only knew that he died.
He was the prince who appeared far lesser than the 6th Prince. Why did he die?
But still I was relieved. Because I knew he was going to die. If I knew the future, I could change it. Just as I had avoided countless deaths, Dane could make it too.
Even though I was relieved, I was still sad and heartbroken.
Just like Amor, the supporting characters in the <Light of Rusbella> acted so differently now than they did in the original novel. What about those who were only briefly mentioned or could not even appear? How much was hidden in the areas that the novel did not mention. It was unfortunate. Why were there so many people around me doomed?
“I’m relieved it’s you, Dane.”
“… What’s a relief?”
“The fact that the person in front of me is you. If it hadn’t been you, I would have died from cringing.”
His fingers combed through my hair as he hugged me gently. Then, his hand patted my shoulder.
“… It feels like the first day of the new year.”
“Really?”
Amongst the Imperial traditions, we had a custom of sharing body warmth by hugging each other whilst praying for each other’s well-being and happiness on New Year’s Day. I needed a moment to forget everything for a while and lean on something warm like a chick seeking its mother.
“I wished time could stop.”
When the sun rises, I would calmly prepare for the next day again but I wanted to stay in this night for a while. As I stared at the pale moon, I hoped that the moon would not set.
“Do you want it to stop?”
“A little.”
As if the edge of the sky was disappearing, it was turning black.
“There’s nothing that can stop the night. But at night, I can hug you like this.”
Dane’s hair flowed down his shoulders.
“If you want, I can be a night that will never end.”
He embraced me and whispered.
“I should also be thinking about the Templar of Chaos…”
Dane gently swept the hair that covered his eyes before curling them.
“They also sent assassins to your palace and aimed for your neck. There’s even evidence. But why you? Actually, the evidence could have been a fake.”
“You mean the assassins aiming for me might not have been the Templars of Chaos?”
“It’s possible that it was merely a distraction.”
Dane lowered his gaze.
After a moment of silence, Dane smiled as brightly as the moonlight before saying.
“If the evidence presented was not fake and the person you met was really the Templar of Chaos, then you need to be more careful.”
“… Me?”
“Yes, you.”
Dane was the first one to bring up what happened today. The kidnapping and the Templar of Chaos. In particular, the Empire’s weakest enemy which had rejected the Lord of the Gods and conspired to rebel in the past.
“Still.”
“Yes, still.”
With a clear smile, Dane slowly followed the end of my words.
“Alright. You’re saying there was an emergency, right? It’s important to prevent your own death. However, I want you to know that your own safety is also important.”
“Do you mean you still want me to stay locked up?”
“If you want to go out, would you like to go out with me?”
“… Ask me for a date next time.”
Dane paused for a moment before flashing a playful smile.
“Do you have any thoughts of accepting it?”
Then, he tilted his head before staring down at me. It was a smile that would have made me fall in love with him immediately if I had just been a common lady. If I had been a rich noble lady, I would have handed over all my fortunes because of those words.
Dane felt like sweet wine that clung onto my tongue. It was sweet enough to melt my taste buds but it was also good to drink it all at once. Thanks to that, the atmosphere became strange but I stepped back with a smile.
I wanted to tell him about Castor, my 40 deaths and what I had heard from the Templars of Chaos today.
However, I also thought that there was someone else that I needed to talk with first.
Amor.
Anyway, I missed the opportunity to go out to meet him since I met Dane today. I would have to go tomorrow.
I had not gone to the spire where Rusbella and Castor were going to meet yet. And that truth that keeps bothering me.
Chapter 138
Translator: yun
An easy path had not been laid out for me since the beginning. I wanted to keep my words concise to solve this unusual situation so I chose to just keep calm.
This was not self-study. The depth of thought was too deep. I did not even try to understand. The texture of the old leather was vividly engraved in my mind.
“Dane, would you be able to recognise me no matter what form I take?”
I faced the bright red eyes looking at me.
“Can you promise me? No matter what happens in the future, nothing changes?”
Even though I might die and come back to life again.
Nothing was for certain in this world. It could be said that the sweet whispers of love were merely a peak in hormones that would disappear after a few years. I still wanted to believe. That somewhere, there was a spring waiting for my fairytale-like happy ending and that continuous love existed.
“Ashley. That’s a given.”
Dane narrowed his eyes slightly before grabbing my hand without hurting me.
“If you have any more secrets,”
After a certain point, only my hands started getting cold. Dane’s hands were evidently warmer than mine and felt cozy like a fireplace.
“I will only love you more.”
I blinked for a moment before staring back at him.
“Even if you are able to tell the future.”
“…..”
Dane came poking at me with something that felt like a root.
“No matter what you’ve been through.”
During the pause that he took, a strange feeling bubbled up from within. When he raised his head, Dane continued to speak with a calm expression as if nothing had happened.
“I’m smart, Ashley.”
He was smiling. But I did not know why I felt sad.
“That’s why I know things others don’t know. No, I’ll find out.”
Right. He was smart. I nodded.
“Sometimes, I do think it’d be a blessing to be able to predict and know everything but at the same time it also seems like a curse.”
After saying something unexpected, he smiled broadly.
“But you’re you, Ashley.”
He knew that I did not want to speak anymore and continued to push me over the edge.
“No matter what appearance you take on, Ashley Rosé. I know it’s you.”
“…..”
He had always been quick-witted. So, he could always say what I wanted to hear in such a friendly voice. Whenever he acted as such, it sometimes felt as if he knew better than I did.
Just like what he was doing now.
“No matter what you’ve been through. You’re you.”
It sounded like the cheap words I would hear in a youth drama. Whether it was because I caused trouble or because I had an unfortunate past, I would be alright. I could rise up again. Of course, it all depended on who was saying those words.
“It sounds like what kids in puberty would say.”
“I am in puberty.”
When he smiled, I felt like smiling together with him to get rid of all the bad thoughts in my head. Perhaps this was a spell created by the times Dane and I spent together. His voice, which was filled with his grins, sounded friendly and sweet.
“I need your attention.”
The night hid our sullen feelings as the moonlight shone upon us. I raised my head. A night where the moon was fully lit. Even though the moon was not completely cold, it was so bright I could see all of its beautiful faces.
When the morning comes, my feelings of sadness might come again. I gave a blurred smile. Still, I was relieved. Even though we could not walk together, there was a time where we comforted each other and received relief from each other.
“I wonder what it would have been like if we weren’t siblings, Ashley.”
In the room where the blue light engulfed like the sea, it was only his pair of red eyes that were smiling brighter than the moon.
“Then, I wouldn’t have left you alone.”
Come to think of it, I thought I looked like a mess.
“Dane. My feet hurt. My legs too.”
My hair must have been a mess and my face too. When I left the palace, I thought I looked pretty and alright but I was sure I did not look good now.
Dane brought the hand that had been holding his own cheek to mine. It tickled when his burning fingers wriggled between mine but it did not feel too bad. He turned his head and placed his lips on my hand. Even before I could say anything, his lips whispered.
“Did you get hurt outside?”
“… No. Nothing like that. My shoulders hurt, my back hurts and my waist hurts a little. Is it because of my lack of exercise? It feels like muscle ache…”
“Ashley.”
Dane looked at me and flashed a grin. But it seemed like he was trying to fill the empty silence rather than actually smiling.
“Don’t laugh. It actually hurts.”
Was it a side effect of Amor’s drug? My whole body really hurts. Or was my body just screaming from extreme fatigue? Whether it was this body or the body I transformed into, it was clear that this body sucked.
“Dane.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m dirty.”
After the silence, he spoke quietly.
“Can you still give me a hug?”
Even in the shadows of the dark, his red eyes that contained me were clear and reflected a fascinating light like that of a glass bead.
He removed his fingers that have been tickling my cheek before gently holding me.
“As much as you want.”
As soon as he finished talking, I spaced out for a moment because of the scent that was drafted into my nose. The pleasant scent that Dane gave off reminded me of his calm breaths and his soft whispering voice. His hands held me.
“You’re too far away.”
“Yeah, I’m happy that you can do anything for me.”
It was obvious that my sweat might have dried and smelled by now but he did not seem to be disliking it. It was as if he could accept even this side of me.
I wondered why it felt like Dane could do anything for me. If I asked if I could stop time here, it felt like he would search through all the books in the world to find a way. If I asked him to pick a star for me, he would really find something as close to a star as he possibly could.
Was it when I was eight? While reading a book, I mumbled what I wanted subconsciously and I remembered receiving two gifts the next day. One was sent from Fleon who had spent a lot of money and the other was sent by Dane which was surprisingly similar to the thing I described as if it had just popped out of the book. It had been so long that I had forgotten what the item was but I remembered having a hard time believing it when Dane brought it to me.
Dane.
He was the sweetest person I had in my world.
“You know. I did not have a particularly hard time out there.”
“Yeah.”
There were days I wanted to cling onto anyone I could and just cry. There were days when I did not want to say anything but wanted to tell someone everything.
There was no one around me so when this terrible nightmare chased after me, I felt so lonely. I was embraced by an emotion that I could not share with anyone. I had been holding a face that could not cry.
“… I was just a little lonely.”
I wanted to talk about it when there was someone next to me. Even then, because there was someone next to me, I wanted to remain silent. I murmured as I buried my face deep into Dane’s shoulder.
“… Thank you. For doing it the same.”
I could feel a slight vibration as if he was responding to my small murmur.
“The Imperial Palace is a cold place.”
Would it be difficult even for the strong-looking Dane? How did Dane overcome his trying and painful times? I hoped he was happy. I mumbled as I buried into his shoulders. Even though I was the one whispering, I could barely hear my own voice.
For a moment, I thought about Dane from the <Light of Rusbella>. I wondered what kind of person Dane was in the original novel?
I only knew that he died.
He was the prince who appeared far lesser than the 6th Prince. Why did he die?
But still I was relieved. Because I knew he was going to die. If I knew the future, I could change it. Just as I had avoided countless deaths, Dane could make it too.
Even though I was relieved, I was still sad and heartbroken.
Just like Amor, the supporting characters in the <Light of Rusbella> acted so differently now than they did in the original novel. What about those who were only briefly mentioned or could not even appear? How much was hidden in the areas that the novel did not mention. It was unfortunate. Why were there so many people around me doomed?
“I’m relieved it’s you, Dane.”
“… What’s a relief?”
“The fact that the person in front of me is you. If it hadn’t been you, I would have died from cringing.”
His fingers combed through my hair as he hugged me gently. Then, his hand patted my shoulder.
“… It feels like the first day of the new year.”
“Really?”
Amongst the Imperial traditions, we had a custom of sharing body warmth by hugging each other whilst praying for each other’s well-being and happiness on New Year’s Day. I needed a moment to forget everything for a while and lean on something warm like a chick seeking its mother.
“I wished time could stop.”
When the sun rises, I would calmly prepare for the next day again but I wanted to stay in this night for a while. As I stared at the pale moon, I hoped that the moon would not set.
“Do you want it to stop?”
“A little.”
As if the edge of the sky was disappearing, it was turning black.
“There’s nothing that can stop the night. But at night, I can hug you like this.”
Dane’s hair flowed down his shoulders.
“If you want, I can be a night that will never end.”
He embraced me and whispered.
“I should also be thinking about the Templar of Chaos…”
Dane gently swept the hair that covered his eyes before curling them.
“They also sent assassins to your palace and aimed for your neck. There’s even evidence. But why you? Actually, the evidence could have been a fake.”
“You mean the assassins aiming for me might not have been the Templars of Chaos?”
“It’s possible that it was merely a distraction.”
Dane lowered his gaze.
After a moment of silence, Dane smiled as brightly as the moonlight before saying.
“If the evidence presented was not fake and the person you met was really the Templar of Chaos, then you need to be more careful.”
“… Me?”
“Yes, you.”
Dane was the first one to bring up what happened today. The kidnapping and the Templar of Chaos. In particular, the Empire’s weakest enemy which had rejected the Lord of the Gods and conspired to rebel in the past.
“Still.”
“Yes, still.”
With a clear smile, Dane slowly followed the end of my words.
“Alright. You’re saying there was an emergency, right? It’s important to prevent your own death. However, I want you to know that your own safety is also important.”
“Do you mean you still want me to stay locked up?”
“If you want to go out, would you like to go out with me?”
“… Ask me for a date next time.”
Dane paused for a moment before flashing a playful smile.
“Do you have any thoughts of accepting it?”
Then, he tilted his head before staring down at me. It was a smile that would have made me fall in love with him immediately if I had just been a common lady. If I had been a rich noble lady, I would have handed over all my fortunes because of those words.
Dane felt like sweet wine that clung onto my tongue. It was sweet enough to melt my taste buds but it was also good to drink it all at once. Thanks to that, the atmosphere became strange but I stepped back with a smile.
I wanted to tell him about Castor, my 40 deaths and what I had heard from the Templars of Chaos today.
However, I also thought that there was someone else that I needed to talk with first.
Amor.
Anyway, I missed the opportunity to go out to meet him since I met Dane today. I would have to go tomorrow.
I had not gone to the spire where Rusbella and Castor were going to meet yet. And that truth that keeps bothering me.
