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Happy Doomsday - Chapter 123

Published at 22nd of August 2022 12:06:53 PM


Chapter 123

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Tang Yibu wrote very quickly. He erased most of what Yu Le had written, and then rewrote it in almost exactly the same handwriting. Yu Le crossed his arms and leaned against the table, his eyes following the tip of Tang Yibu’s pen.

Ji Xiaoman had no interest in watching Tang Yibu’s creation from the sidelines. She retreated into the corner and began to carefully maintain the weapons in her prosthetic limbs. The afternoon sun passed through the thin window screens, and for a while, the scene was still quite peaceful.

“Not bad, Xiao Tang.” Yu Le tsked. “There are some things I haven’t seen in my collection. What’s this? Is it possible you’ve changed to a companion android?”

“I’ve done some work on this subject.” Tang Yibu raised his head with a calm expression. The nib of his pen kept spitting out words in a steady stream. If it weren’t for being able to see the hot content, Yu Le wasn’t sure if he misunderstood and regarded Tang Yibu as a serious work assistant who was writing furiously.

“…Then your subject is quite strong. Wow, writing can still be like this…” Yu Le groaned.

“I still want to eat egg custard.” Tang Yibu glanced at Yu Le, blocked the next part with his arm, and made a serious transaction request.

Oddly enough, he was separated from Mr. Ruan again, but this time his appetite wasn’t affected, but was rather extremely good.

“You have the makings of a ruins pirate, kid.” Yu Le grabbed his apron and wiped his hands. “Okay, okay, okay, I’ll give you two more dishes. Let me take a look after you finish writing.”

Ji Xiaoman rolled her eyes silently in the corner.

“Have you ever liked someone, Yu Ge?” Seeing Yu Le wiping his hands to prepare food, Tang Yibu didn’t stop writing, but he spoke more.

“What do you think? I’m thirty-six years old, dude, and I’m very experienced.”

“Would you mind sharing your experience?” Tang Yibu touched a piece of bread from the table and started nibbling on it, making his voice a bit muffled. “…There are not too many materials.”

“First of all, you’re not allowed to ask what goes on in bed. A breakup is a breakup, and private matters remain private.”

“Okay,” Tang Yibu readily agreed. “Here’s the thing. I have collected a lot of information; human enthusiasm and interest in partners will fade when hormone levels decrease. Most don’t ever have the ‘perfect love’ they preach, and to some extent, resource-sharing relationships are widespread…”

“You mean partnering to live?” Yu Le asked lightly. “There’s a ton out there. Whether looking for it or not, people will always find ways to live.”

“But according to the previous social tendencies—”

“If I tell someone I like them, some may be moved, while some just enjoy the physical aspect, but in any case, people can look everywhere. Some are good, and some aren’t a match.” Yu Le was heating oil in a pan while cleaning up the blood on the meat. “Going by what you say that it’s hormones that are affected by the brain, living life isn’t a virtue of enthusiasm and interest.”

Tang Yibu’s gaze moved from Yu Le’s face to the meat on the chopping board, then back to Yu Le’s face with difficulty.

“Do you think that if interest subsides due to the decrease of hormones in your body, the emotional involvement will also disappear?”

After all, his own body was human. Tang Yibu tried to explain his attraction to “Ruan Lijie” as sexual. With his original interest and this additional desire, it would make sense.

Then, as long as they maintained this relationship for long enough, this attraction would gradually fade, and they would no longer affect the other party. According to Yu Le, things weren’t as simple as they seemed.

This was necessary to collect more data. Tang Yibu gave himself a rather official explanation, not wanting to pay attention to the inexplicable tension in his heart.

“Why do I feel like you and I are talking about two different things?” Yu Le removed the pieces of meat from the pan and the aroma of fried garlic wafted over from the kitchen. “Young people like splitting hairs*, so they make a mountain out of a molehill. A little hormone, just like anything else, can be analyzed. Come on, I’ll teach you a lesson. What do you think is most important when finding someone?”

*Take unnecessary pains to study an insignificant problem (钻牛角尖) Idiom referring to people becoming brain dead and inflexible when encountering problems.

This question obviously poked Tang Yibu’s weakness. He showed an expression like a lost puppy, looking quite pitiful. “I have never thought about this question.”

“What do you think humans look for in finding a partner?”

“Appearance, personality, financial strength, and overall potential. In general, the need for the relationship to satisfy their own needs as much as possible, both physical and mental. If you want to reproduce, there may be more issues to consider.”

Mr. Ruan’s face and figure were very in line with human aesthetics, his personality was interesting, and his abilities were strong enough. It was very logical for him to be attracted to the other party, and he also had a strong obsession with “Ruan Xian”. With this combination, perhaps this was what attracted him.

Like a person suffering from an undiagnosed disease, Tang Yibu put his symptoms into a common pattern.

“…These are all standards.”

Yu Le shoveled the prepared beef cubes onto the plate and put some leftover tomatoes and hot bok choy.

“However, the objective is not mating, and it may not be possible even if both sides are excellent. This doesn’t count. Who knows, there might be some things you can’t stand and some things you can’t do without. There’s also going to be fights and friction. You can’t expect a perfect match to fall from the sky, with everything fitting according to your taste, or find true love on the first try. Such a good thing doesn’t exist.”

“But a character can be calculated, and the body can be quantified.”

“What? You’re telling me you’ll have the same taste as you did ten years ago? Behavior will never change? Even a cybernetic brain must absorb new knowledge. If you ask me, first look at whether you’re compatible and get along well together, and then see if you can move forward. If you can, move forward. If you can’t, split up. People will always change. It’s that simple.”

Tang Yibu stopped writing.

“My love… At that time, I thought she was a great beauty. She had the figure, the face, and the brains. I wanted to marry at the time, but in the end, it didn’t work out. She wanted to go abroad to develop her career while I was working by the sea every day. We could only see each other a few times in the last year and a half, and I didn’t think it would work in the future.” Yu Le put the fried beef cubes in front of Tang Yibu. “This was a relationship that involves hormones, but do you think it’s the same situation?”

Ji Xiaoman had stopped maintaining her weapon and pricked up her ears to listen.

“So what’s going on with you and Ruan Lijie?” Yu Le saw Tang Yibu chewing the beef cubes thoughtfully, raising his eyebrows high. “That pile of questions has nothing to do with this book, right? Why do I get the feeling that you’re nervous?”

“For some reason, his attraction to me far exceeds the risk standard I can bear.” Tang Yibu chewed the juicy beef and pushed the finished book farther away. “But I’m still very interested in him. I care enough that I get an upset stomach because of dating… Well, I care about my stomach discomfort. It’s unwise to make a move until his situation is fully analyzed.”

“…You really got involved with the person surnamed Ruan.” Yu Le took a breath and turned to Ji Xiaoman. “Do androids usually think like this?”

“I don’t know.” Ji Xiaoman’s face was blank. “If it is a mechanical life that has not been injected with human-like programs, and there’s no support from the Mainbrain, usually the IQ would be similar to that of a mechanical police dog. It may be the underlying simulated emotion program isn’t clean, or he’s equipped with a particularly strange personality data.”

Tang Yibu didn’t mind Ji Xiaoman’s evaluation at all. He bit into a piece of beef and fell into deep thought.

“I see.” After a while, Tang Yibu suddenly opened his mouth, and the pieces of beef in his mouth almost fell out. “I can change my perspective and figure out why he’s attracted to me. Since Mr. Ruan is a human, it’ll be much easier—if he likes me as long as possible and stays by my side, I will have more time to slowly think about my own problems.”

“No, you don’t seem to understand at all,” Yu Le said dryly. The android was still trying to apply logic, and he was too lazy to explain anymore.

“Mr. Ruan is very smart,” Tang Yibu continued happily. “If it is too deliberate, he’ll definitely be able to see through my plan. Then I just need to show my interest in him unreservedly. Thank you, Yu Ge.”

“…I don’t understand what you’re trying to say, and I really don’t want to,” Yu Le said weakly, trying to steal a piece of meat from Tang Yibu’s plate, but before the tip of his chopstick touched the meat, the plate was snatched away by Tang Yibu.

“They intend to get serious about dating,” Ji Xiaoman translated in a not-so-considerate whisper.

“Although I figured this out, I’m still nervous.” Tang Yibu sat upright, looking like the chairman of a meeting. “Yu Ge…”

“Just shut up, you.”

Ruan Xian was completely unaware of Tang Yibu’s new decision. Compared to the worried android that was in a strange state, this current time period was considered his most relaxed before the end of the world. Even with the restraint clothes and white walls of the prevention shelter, they couldn’t ruin his mood at this moment.

A brand-new experience. Even though he didn’t think their relationship had anything to do with “love”, Ruan Xian still felt incredibly relaxed, like accidently stepping on a pot of gold on a muddy beach.

While enjoying lunch, he even subconsciously hummed Carol Young’s “Step by Step” until Luo Jian sat across from him with a cold face.

“Gong Siyi has approached me,” he said in a low voice, not sounding pleasant. “We have joint therapy tonight, in the basement. You should receive specific details in a while, but I have something to say in advance.”

“Okay.” Ruan Xian maintained his good attitude.

“Joint memory therapy is a pain in the ass. It’s the first time I’ve seen three people together. Although Li Han and you are both victims of Pear Blossom, as the person leading the therapy, I can’t treat you both equally.”

Luo Jian fiddled with the fried carrots on the plate irritably with his chopsticks.

“I don’t have a good impression of you. That’s the truth. It’s pointless to be cordial. I can’t fool my own mind and consciousness. Li Han is fine. If you were to enter my memory, it would be a very dangerous thing for you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Gong Siyi sometimes uses some more radical therapies… Although it’s not enough to kill—”

“It’s enough that no one will die.”

Ruan Xian showed a polite smile. He seemed to be getting more accustomed to the action of “really smiling”, he thought.

“Thank you for reminding me, but I have no impression of this joint memory therapy you mentioned… What will I encounter?”

“Anything is possible.”

Luo Jian snorted.

“After all, you are going to enter my memory, and it’s a real doomsday in my head.”

The author has something to say:

Lao Yu: How can the relationship between humans be so simple! Come here and let me tell you…

Tang: Okay, I see. I will follow this strategy to make Mr. Ruan like me.

Lao Yu: …

This period is probably Ruan’s happiest period. After all, he still knows nothing about the true identity of the coconut (?




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