Chapter 58: Only You Can Punish Me For My Sins
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Standing beside Xi Ying, Li Rui heard him saying many things. My Wangfei this….My Wangfei that…. But her heart didn't stir even a bit. It was her calm. It was her mind who was trying to solve the puzzle the clever Prime Minister was trying to create for her.
It never came to her that whatever he was saying really came from his heart. All of it was his own feelings.
How could it be?
On their first night, she has seen his eyes. Full of anger and pain which he had hidden instantly under his cold face. But even though it was for a fleeting second, she was sure that it was there.
Anger was reasonable. But why the pain?
She had gotten her answer soon. Very soon.
Since her first morning in Xi Manor, she had been hearing from those maids' mouths that Lord Xi and First Princess were meant for each other if it was not her who suddenly came in between them.
He must have been in pain because he could not marry the girl he liked. Instead of the princess, he had to marry her because of the child that would be in her stomach because of the deed.
His dislike towards her soon became visible when he took her son away from her. Li Rui had expected it on that day but still, she just wanted to see her child once. The child she had protected from every evil eye this Manor alone.
When she was moved to Plum courtyard suddenly, Li Hua and Li Mei had shed tears seeing the desolate place but she was happy. She was happy because she could see her Xiao Ling now. Yi Ju could enter Plum Courtyard effortlessly because no one guarded that deserted area.
She still remembered that the first time she had seen Xiao Ling, he was already one year old. He was being provided the best care, she had seen.
If only she had the power to protect herself and her family then she would have divorced Lord Xi and had taken Xiao Ling away with her.
But Lord Xi could protect Xiao Ling. As long as her son was loved by Lord Xi, she can stay away from her son if it can protect him.
It settled down her hanging heart.
Towards this man who was the father of her child, Li Rui had no feelings. Neither Love nor hate. So it had been easy for her to live in Xi Manor for four years.
But now, seeing the sudden change in his behavior was making her feel wary. She could face the cold Minister Xi with an equally cold face but how should she behave with this man who acting so lovey-dovey as if they were a normal husband and wife.
And adding to this she can't offend him. The man who had the power to destroy her whole clan with a few words in front of the emperor, how should she behave with him, Li Rui wondered.
---------------------
The Plum Courtyard was soon emptied by maids and servants as Shui Cao shooed everyone away saying that it was already night.
The aroma of delicious food filled the entire living room of the Plum Courtyard as the maids brought the food from the kitchen. Different kinds of dishes were placed on the table. From sour to spicy, from sweet to salty every kind of dish was served.
Shui Cao didn't need to be told anything. He tried to make as many amendments in the courtyard he could make in the short night.
Xi Ying served the dishes in a plate by himself remembering the preferences of his Wangfei who didn't pay any attention to the food. Hiding the surprise under her calm face when he put the plate in front of her, she politely thanked him.
Most of the dishes were her favorite. It must be a coincidence, isn't it? Clipping the food in her chopsticks, Li Rui thought.
The food in her plate was not yet finished when her plate was filled again. Li Rui's lips twitched.
What was she, a pig to eat so much food? Or was it his new way to express his dislike for her?
She didn't notice how the man in front of her was looking at her each movement with deep eyes.
'His Wangfei ate like a small bird.'
Li Rui never liked to leave the served food on her plate so she had to finish it gritting her teeth with a polite smile on her face.
She almost lost her calm when the man tried to serve her more. Avoiding his hand she hid the plate and said with a tight smile.
"This Wangfei is full. Minister Xi should continue."
A frown marred the elegant Minister forehead as he said
"You are full? So soon. No wonder you are so thin."
Now how should she reply to this?
When she couldn't think of any reply that was polite, she stayed silent but didn't let him serve more food.
The maids saw Minister Xi caring behavior towards Lady Li and the look in their eyes changed. They lower their heads and continued whatever they were doing.
After dinner, the maids prepared warm water for the bath.
While taking bath, she could not help but smile coldly seeing the maid's careful behavior while they waited on her.
Prime Minister was surely very clever. She really could not think this time what he was trying to do by putting up this entire act. As she wore her clothes, she hid the dagger inside her sleeve again when the maids were not looking at her.
Although she was sure that the man will not even touch her, it was good to be careful.
However, she had not expected that things would be again completely different from expectations.
Keeping a polite smile on her face she opened the door of her room, however seeing the scene inside she no longer could keep that smile on her lips even though it was fake.
The dignified Prime Minister was struggling to open the knots of a small bundle. It was the same bundle inside which she had packed a few important things for elopement.
How exactly did he found it?
To her surprise, he really opened the knot. The knot she tied was something that no one could open. But how could she know that Xi Ying had already seen her many times tying and opening this kind of knot in the past three months.
He must have noticed her presence as he raised her head to look at her and smiled gently.
"You were fully prepared to leave Xi Manor right? No worries, now you don't need this."
He knew she was going to leave tonight.
Stepping inside her room, she saw him putting her clothes inside the wooden wardrobe at the place where they were before. His actions were smooth and without any fault.
As he closed the wardrobe, Xi Ying heard his Wangfei saying
"What are you trying to do?"
It was Li Rui's cold and indifferent voice that he had seen her use in front of the strangers.
No Minister Xi, no distant smiles. She finally shed away all her pretenses.
Xi Ying smiled bitterly. Her fake and polite smiles were pricking his heart and now he was feeling sad hearing her cold words.
At least it was her real self. Xi Ying consoled himself.
As she waited for his answer, she suddenly felt the ground sliding under her feet and heard him saying.
"Nothing, I'm just taking you to sleep with me."
Carrying her in his arms, he laid her on the bed and covered her with the new silky blanket. The room darkened soon.
Li Rui turned sideways and probed her sleeve. When she felt her other side dipped a little, her hands approached the dagger hidden inside her sleeve.
Although she can't really defeat him, she would never submit without fighting for herself.
But her hands froze when she felt her back attaching to his chest and after that nothing happened. His hands on her waist stayed still and his chin was placed on her head.
After a few moments when she felt no movement, she tried to remove his hand but his hands tightened around her waist.
"Shh.. sleep." A whisper fell in her ear. But it didn't reduce the coldness on her face.
"Leave me." She said again emotionlessly. The dagger was still in her hands and she would not hesitate to use it.
Xi Ying obviously knew this but still didn't leave her. Kissing her hair, he buried his nose in their fragrance. He wanted to feel that she was truly there with him.
The emptiness inside his heart seemed to fade away the instant he held her.
"Rui, can you just wait till the morning? I will erase all of your worries slowly. Now sleep, my wangfei must be very tired after an eventful day."
His words stilled Li Rui. Was he talking about the same thing she was thinking?
When Xi Ying no longer felt any struggle from her side, he closed his eyes.
Xi Ying knew that the road to his Wangfei's heart was very long but he will not give up, not till his last breath.
'Rui I will punish those who tried to hurt you. But for the sins I have done; only you can punish me for them.'
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Standing beside Xi Ying, Li Rui heard him saying many things. My Wangfei this….My Wangfei that…. But her heart didn't stir even a bit. It was her calm. It was her mind who was trying to solve the puzzle the clever Prime Minister was trying to create for her.
It never came to her that whatever he was saying really came from his heart. All of it was his own feelings.
How could it be?
On their first night, she has seen his eyes. Full of anger and pain which he had hidden instantly under his cold face. But even though it was for a fleeting second, she was sure that it was there.
Anger was reasonable. But why the pain?
She had gotten her answer soon. Very soon.
Since her first morning in Xi Manor, she had been hearing from those maids' mouths that Lord Xi and First Princess were meant for each other if it was not her who suddenly came in between them.
He must have been in pain because he could not marry the girl he liked. Instead of the princess, he had to marry her because of the child that would be in her stomach because of the deed.
His dislike towards her soon became visible when he took her son away from her. Li Rui had expected it on that day but still, she just wanted to see her child once. The child she had protected from every evil eye this Manor alone.
When she was moved to Plum courtyard suddenly, Li Hua and Li Mei had shed tears seeing the desolate place but she was happy. She was happy because she could see her Xiao Ling now. Yi Ju could enter Plum Courtyard effortlessly because no one guarded that deserted area.
She still remembered that the first time she had seen Xiao Ling, he was already one year old. He was being provided the best care, she had seen.
If only she had the power to protect herself and her family then she would have divorced Lord Xi and had taken Xiao Ling away with her.
But Lord Xi could protect Xiao Ling. As long as her son was loved by Lord Xi, she can stay away from her son if it can protect him.
It settled down her hanging heart.
Towards this man who was the father of her child, Li Rui had no feelings. Neither Love nor hate. So it had been easy for her to live in Xi Manor for four years.
But now, seeing the sudden change in his behavior was making her feel wary. She could face the cold Minister Xi with an equally cold face but how should she behave with this man who acting so lovey-dovey as if they were a normal husband and wife.
And adding to this she can't offend him. The man who had the power to destroy her whole clan with a few words in front of the emperor, how should she behave with him, Li Rui wondered.
---------------------
The Plum Courtyard was soon emptied by maids and servants as Shui Cao shooed everyone away saying that it was already night.
The aroma of delicious food filled the entire living room of the Plum Courtyard as the maids brought the food from the kitchen. Different kinds of dishes were placed on the table. From sour to spicy, from sweet to salty every kind of dish was served.
Shui Cao didn't need to be told anything. He tried to make as many amendments in the courtyard he could make in the short night.
Xi Ying served the dishes in a plate by himself remembering the preferences of his Wangfei who didn't pay any attention to the food. Hiding the surprise under her calm face when he put the plate in front of her, she politely thanked him.
Most of the dishes were her favorite. It must be a coincidence, isn't it? Clipping the food in her chopsticks, Li Rui thought.
The food in her plate was not yet finished when her plate was filled again. Li Rui's lips twitched.
What was she, a pig to eat so much food? Or was it his new way to express his dislike for her?
She didn't notice how the man in front of her was looking at her each movement with deep eyes.
'His Wangfei ate like a small bird.'
Li Rui never liked to leave the served food on her plate so she had to finish it gritting her teeth with a polite smile on her face.
She almost lost her calm when the man tried to serve her more. Avoiding his hand she hid the plate and said with a tight smile.
"This Wangfei is full. Minister Xi should continue."
A frown marred the elegant Minister forehead as he said
"You are full? So soon. No wonder you are so thin."
Now how should she reply to this?
When she couldn't think of any reply that was polite, she stayed silent but didn't let him serve more food.
The maids saw Minister Xi caring behavior towards Lady Li and the look in their eyes changed. They lower their heads and continued whatever they were doing.
After dinner, the maids prepared warm water for the bath.
While taking bath, she could not help but smile coldly seeing the maid's careful behavior while they waited on her.
Prime Minister was surely very clever. She really could not think this time what he was trying to do by putting up this entire act. As she wore her clothes, she hid the dagger inside her sleeve again when the maids were not looking at her.
Although she was sure that the man will not even touch her, it was good to be careful.
However, she had not expected that things would be again completely different from expectations.
Keeping a polite smile on her face she opened the door of her room, however seeing the scene inside she no longer could keep that smile on her lips even though it was fake.
The dignified Prime Minister was struggling to open the knots of a small bundle. It was the same bundle inside which she had packed a few important things for elopement.
How exactly did he found it?
To her surprise, he really opened the knot. The knot she tied was something that no one could open. But how could she know that Xi Ying had already seen her many times tying and opening this kind of knot in the past three months.
He must have noticed her presence as he raised her head to look at her and smiled gently.
"You were fully prepared to leave Xi Manor right? No worries, now you don't need this."
He knew she was going to leave tonight.
Stepping inside her room, she saw him putting her clothes inside the wooden wardrobe at the place where they were before. His actions were smooth and without any fault.
As he closed the wardrobe, Xi Ying heard his Wangfei saying
"What are you trying to do?"
It was Li Rui's cold and indifferent voice that he had seen her use in front of the strangers.
No Minister Xi, no distant smiles. She finally shed away all her pretenses.
Xi Ying smiled bitterly. Her fake and polite smiles were pricking his heart and now he was feeling sad hearing her cold words.
At least it was her real self. Xi Ying consoled himself.
As she waited for his answer, she suddenly felt the ground sliding under her feet and heard him saying.
"Nothing, I'm just taking you to sleep with me."
Carrying her in his arms, he laid her on the bed and covered her with the new silky blanket. The room darkened soon.
Li Rui turned sideways and probed her sleeve. When she felt her other side dipped a little, her hands approached the dagger hidden inside her sleeve.
Although she can't really defeat him, she would never submit without fighting for herself.
But her hands froze when she felt her back attaching to his chest and after that nothing happened. His hands on her waist stayed still and his chin was placed on her head.
After a few moments when she felt no movement, she tried to remove his hand but his hands tightened around her waist.
"Shh.. sleep." A whisper fell in her ear. But it didn't reduce the coldness on her face.
"Leave me." She said again emotionlessly. The dagger was still in her hands and she would not hesitate to use it.
Xi Ying obviously knew this but still didn't leave her. Kissing her hair, he buried his nose in their fragrance. He wanted to feel that she was truly there with him.
The emptiness inside his heart seemed to fade away the instant he held her.
"Rui, can you just wait till the morning? I will erase all of your worries slowly. Now sleep, my wangfei must be very tired after an eventful day."
His words stilled Li Rui. Was he talking about the same thing she was thinking?
When Xi Ying no longer felt any struggle from her side, he closed his eyes.
Xi Ying knew that the road to his Wangfei's heart was very long but he will not give up, not till his last breath.
'Rui I will punish those who tried to hurt you. But for the sins I have done; only you can punish me for them.'
Standing beside Xi Ying, Li Rui heard him saying many things. My Wangfei this.My Wangfei that. But her heart didn't stir even a bit. It was her calm. It was her mind who was trying to solve the puzzle the clever Prime Minister was trying to create for her.It never came to her that whatever he was saying really came from his heart. All of it was his own feelings.How could it be?On their first night, she has seen his eyes. Full of anger and pain which he had hidden instantly under his cold face. But even though it was for a fleeting second, she was sure that it was there.Anger was reasonable. But why the pain?She had gotten her answer soon. Very soon.Since her first morning in Xi Manor, she had been hearing from those maids' mouths that Lord Xi and First Princess were meant for each other if it was not her who suddenly came in between them.He must have been in pain because he could not marry the girl he liked. Instead of the princess, he had to marry her because of the child that would be in her stomach because of the deed.His dislike towards her soon became visible when he took her son away from her. Li Rui had expected it on that day but still, she just wanted to see her child once. The child she had protected from every evil eye this Manor alone.When she was moved to Plum courtyard suddenly, Li Hua and Li Mei had shed tears seeing the desolate place but she was happy. She was happy because she could see her Xiao Ling now. Yi Ju could enter Plum Courtyard effortlessly because no one guarded that deserted area.She still remembered that the first time she had seen Xiao Ling, he was already one year old. He was being provided the best care, she had seen.If only she had the power to protect herself and her family then she would have divorced Lord Xi and had taken Xiao Ling away with her.But Lord Xi could protect Xiao Ling. As long as her son was loved by Lord Xi, she can stay away from her son if it can protect him.It settled down her hanging heart.Towards this man who was the father of her child, Li Rui had no feelings. Neither Love nor hate. So it had been easy for her to live in Xi Manor for four years.But now, seeing the sudden change in his behavior was making her feel wary. She could face the cold Minister Xi with an equally cold face but how should she behave with this man who acting so lovey-dovey as if they were a normal husband and wife.And adding to this she can't offend him. The man who had the power to destroy her whole clan with a few words in front of the emperor, how should she behave with him, Li Rui wondered.---------------------The Plum Courtyard was soon emptied by maids and servants as Shui Cao shooed everyone away saying that it was already night.The aroma of delicious food filled the entire living room of the Plum Courtyard as the maids brought the food from the kitchen. Different kinds of dishes were placed on the table. From sour to spicy, from sweet to salty every kind of dish was served.Shui Cao didn't need to be told anything. He tried to make as many amendments in the courtyard he could make in the short night.Xi Ying served the dishes in a plate by himself remembering the preferences of his Wangfei who didn't pay any attention to the food. Hiding the surprise under her calm face when he put the plate in front of her, she politely thanked him.Most of the dishes were her favorite. It must be a coincidence, isn't it? Clipping the food in her chopsticks, Li Rui thought.The food in her plate was not yet finished when her plate was filled again. Li Rui's lips twitched.What was she, a pig to eat so much food? Or was it his new way to express his dislike for her?She didn't notice how the man in front of her was looking at her each movement with deep eyes.'His Wangfei ate like a small bird.'Li Rui never liked to leave the served food on her plate so she had to finish it gritting her teeth with a polite smile on her face.She almost lost her calm when the man tried to serve her more. Avoiding his hand she hid the plate and said with a tight smile."This Wangfei is full. Minister Xi should continue."A frown marred the elegant Minister forehead as he said"You are full? So soon. No wonder you are so thin."Now how should she reply to this?When she couldn't think of any reply that was polite, she stayed silent but didn't let him serve more food.The maids saw Minister Xi caring behavior towards Lady Li and the look in their eyes changed. They lower their heads and continued whatever they were doing.After dinner, the maids prepared warm water for the bath.While taking bath, she could not help but smile coldly seeing the maid's careful behavior while they waited on her.Prime Minister was surely very clever. She really could not think this time what he was trying to do by putting up this entire act. As she wore her clothes, she hid the dagger inside her sleeve again when the maids were not looking at her.Although she was sure that the man will not even touch her, it was good to be careful.However, she had not expected that things would be again completely different from expectations.Keeping a polite smile on her face she opened the door of her room, however seeing the scene inside she no longer could keep that smile on her lips even though it was fake.The dignified Prime Minister was struggling to open the knots of a small bundle. It was the same bundle inside which she had packed a few important things for elopement.How exactly did he found it?To her surprise, he really opened the knot. The knot she tied was something that no one could open. But how could she know that Xi Ying had already seen her many times tying and opening this kind of knot in the past three months.He must have noticed her presence as he raised her head to look at her and smiled gently."You were fully prepared to leave Xi Manor right? No worries, now you don't need this."He knew she was going to leave tonight.Stepping inside her room, she saw him putting her clothes inside the wooden wardrobe at the place where they were before. His actions were smooth and without any fault.As he closed the wardrobe, Xi Ying heard his Wangfei saying"What are you trying to do?"It was Li Rui's cold and indifferent voice that he had seen her use in front of the strangers.No Minister Xi, no distant smiles. She finally shed away all her pretenses.Xi Ying smiled bitterly. Her fake and polite smiles were pricking his heart and now he was feeling sad hearing her cold words.At least it was her real self. Xi Ying consoled himself.As she waited for his answer, she suddenly felt the ground sliding under her feet and heard him saying."Nothing, I'm just taking you to sleep with me."Carrying her in his arms, he laid her on the bed and covered her with the new silky blanket. The room darkened soon.Li Rui turned sideways and probed her sleeve. When she felt her other side dipped a little, her hands approached the dagger hidden inside her sleeve.Although she can't really defeat him, she would never submit without fighting for herself.But her hands froze when she felt her back attaching to his chest and after that nothing happened. His hands on her waist stayed still and his chin was placed on her head.After a few moments when she felt no movement, she tried to remove his hand but his hands tightened around her waist."Shh.. sleep." A whisper fell in her ear. But it didn't reduce the coldness on her face."Leave me." She said again emotionlessly. The dagger was still in her hands and she would not hesitate to use it.Xi Ying obviously knew this but still didn't leave her. Kissing her hair, he buried his nose in their fragrance. He wanted to feel that she was truly there with him.The emptiness inside his heart seemed to fade away the instant he held her."Rui, can you just wait till the morning? I will erase all of your worries slowly. Now sleep, my wangfei must be very tired after an eventful day."His words stilled Li Rui. Was he talking about the same thing she was thinking?When Xi Ying no longer felt any struggle from her side, he closed his eyes.Xi Ying knew that the road to his Wangfei's heart was very long but he will not give up, not till his last breath.'Rui I will punish those who tried to hurt you. But for the sins I have done; only you can punish me for them.'
