IBVIAAN Ch 38 — My True Feelings That Even I Doubt

I asked Lecht cautiously after sending back the ghostly pale Ziken.

[Ara] “Lecht, you weren’t actually being serious… right?”

[Lecht] “What do you mean?”

[Ara] “About accepting the challenge.”

Although I tried to quell my anxieties, my efforts were futile in the end due to Lecht’s reply.

[Lecht] “Of course it’ll be a war if he touches you.”

[Ara] “No…!”

I stopped him in a hurry. The only one who could stop this man, whose everything started and ended with me, was me.

[Ara] “That foolish Crown Prince was obviously just saying that to show off his ego. So how could you just take it as a challenge…!”

[Lecht] “…” 

[Ara] “The empire will be destroyed if you truly raise your sword against it, Lecht!”

Lecht didn’t open his mouth, even at my scolding. Just as I was contemplating how to overcome this troublesome situation, I suddenly heard the sound of Lecht trying to stifle his laughter.

[Ara] “Why are you laughing?”

[Lecht] “I just didn’t expect for you to have that much faith in me.”

Seemingly in a good mood, Lecht looked at me like I was adorable. 

[Ara] “No, it’s not a matter of having faith in you, rather, it’s just a fact.”

I saw it in the original novel. Of you completely obliterating this place.

[Lecht] “But it isn’t to the point you’d believe that it’s a ‘fact’ without a single flicker of doubt.”

Although I could be sure of it since I had really seen such a scene in the original novel, Lecht seemed to look at it differently.

[Ara] “No, I mean…”

He spoke up just as I was about to protest that that wasn’t what I meant.

[Lecht] “There is no fixed outcome to any war. A moment of carelessness can result in a backstabbing, and a small mistake can wipe out an entire army.”

[Ara] “…”

[Lecht] “Even I have never been 100 percent certain that I would win. But you’re already even more sure of it than I am. To the point where you can firmly say that it’s a ‘fact’.”

What he said was right. The war I had witnessed in the original novel was a war that began due to the withering of the rose, where Lecht was completely beside himself and not in his right mind. It was clear that if a war broke out this time, both the quality and the circumstances would differ from that war since the reason for this war would be due to Ziken’s provocation. 

[Ara] “But… no matter how I look at it, I don’t think Lecht would lose though…”

But aside from that, I still thought it’d be Lecht’s victory by a landslide anyway. He’s the Demon King… Demons were fundamentally more durable and stronger than humans. And they would use demonic creatures too. No matter how you look at it, it’d be Lecht’s victory for sure. 

As I murmured softly while scratching my cheek in embarrassment, Lecht reached both hands out to my face. He cupped my face with both hands and bowed his head slightly. With his forehead now touching mine. The warmth from his body lingered around me.

[Lecht] “I know you hate when I talk about the past. But in my eyes, in both the past and the present, you were and still are…”

[Ara] “…”

[Lecht] “You see through my true feelings even when I find myself doubting them, and flood me with your baseless trust and faith.”

His slightly muffled voice was affectionate. The feeling of his thumbs stroking both of my cheeks was earnest, as if he couldn’t hold it in any longer. 

Although I found myself once again comparing myself to the me 100 years ago, the sentiment sweeping through my heart was different. In the past, whenever he told me about myself 100 years ago, I’d only feel burdened, and honestly, a little jealous too. 

But I didn’t feel that sort of burden anymore. There was only a gentle breeze in my heart now. It tickled, so I lowered my gaze and started fidgeting with my fingers for no reason. 

This wasn’t what I meant to say… What was I going to say again… 

The words I was going to say disappeared from my mind, with only butterflies filling my stomach. The skin that was touched by his hands seemed to be extra sensitive as my heart started to beat faster and faster. 

[Tanma[ “Ahem.”

It was the butler’s needless cough that brought my mind, which had been absorbed in a world where only the two of us existed, back to reality.

[Tanma] “I wouldn’t interrupt the two of you if I didn’t need to, but I will dare to interfere since the situation right now is quite particular. We still have a lot of work left to do.”

The place where he jerked his head towards was filled with people who were looking at us with shining eyes. They weren’t the gazes of those who were waiting for a doctor, but resembled those who were watching a sweet play instead. 

Realising that we were doing such a thing in public, I stepped away from Lecht.

[Ara] “Then, shall we finish our work?”

Turning my body stiffly since I couldn’t bring myself to look back at Lecht due to my sheer embarrassment of it all, I spotted a dash of pink at the end of my field of vision.

[Ara] “Oh.”

Already far away from me, Linden was walking away. That pink hair gradually disappeared around the corner at the end of the road. 

My heart, which had only been feeling ticklish, suddenly started to tingle slightly. It felt as if I had just applied an extremely potent salve on it. I felt like I seemed to know what this uncomfortable feeling was. 

Kelber dug into my hand as I continued to stare vacantly at the place where he had disappeared.

[Kelber] “Hing?”

He tugged slightly at my sleeve with his teeth, as if he was saying, ‘Let’s go and heal them, quickly’.

[Ara] “Mmhm, we should get to work.”

I turned on the heel of my foot with a heavy heart.

* * *

pls do not share this anywhere or u will always stub ur toe when u walk past a door frame !! this translation has been stolen from mioscorner.com, pls only read there i’m begging u :kneels:

I poured my energy into healing the influx of sick people. Lecht led the people adeptly whereas I had no idea where Tanma had gone. 

It was around sunset when the Priest Trio appeared, causing a commotion in the peaceful clinic as they arrived.

[Priest Trio] “Saintess! There’s a big problem!”

Every one of them was saying the exact same thing, unlike how they usually always quarrelled.

[Priest Trio] “You must leave right now!”

There was an urgency in their voices as they ran towards me, trying to avoid the crowd of sick people. Surprised, I briefly asked the people I was dealing with for their understanding and went to greet them. Beads of sweat were dripping down the foreheads of all three of them.

[Ara] “What on earth has happened for all of you to run here with your faces so ghostly pale?”

[Lunarism Priest] “You should escape right now!”

[Ara] “Why?”

[Lunarism Priest] “The Crown Prince, that man has finally burst into action.”

I frowned. Not much time had even passed before I had to hear Ziken’s name again. Don’t tell me you’re really going to go to war?

[Ara] “What did that person do? Take your time to explain…”

Before I could even finish asking them to explain the situation, the sound of clanking armour drew nearer, and the door that the Priest Trio had just come through swung open once again. 

[Ziken] “There you are.”

With a triumphant expression on his face, Ziken strode in with a group of knights. Olivia was also by his side.

[Kelber] “Grrrr…”

The Priest Trio blocked his way and stood in front of me while Kelber was by my side guarding me. Lecht, who had been on the opposite side of the room, was now standing next to me before I knew it.

Ziken pushed the sick people who were blocking the way in front of him to the side and scoffed jeeringly as soon as he saw me.

[Ziken] “Drag that woman out.”

The knights stepped forward at his command. Flinching in shock, I stepped back and bumped into Lecht, who was standing next to me.

Without another word, he wrapped his arm firmly around my shoulders and pulled out his sword. Kelber also raised his hackles and enlarged his size while the Priest Trio didn’t budge an inch from where they were standing, as if they were about to have a fistfight with them at any moment now.

[Lecht] “Are you going to go down this path after all?”

I swallowed dryly at Lecht’s words. 

Ziken, are you really choosing to go to war?

[Ziken] “Please step back if you don’t wish to be an accomplice, Grand Duke.”

[Ara] “Accomplice…?”

Ziken pulled out a small bottle at my question.

[Ara] “What is that?”

[Ziken] “The cause of this epidemic.”

I furrowed my eyebrows. 

If that’s the cause of this epidemic… does that mean that that’s what caused the disease?

His next words were even more absurd.

[Ziken] “This came out of your bag.”

[Ara] “What sort of nonsense…”

It was my first time seeing the glass bottle, which still had a few drops of its blue contents.

[Ara] “This is my first time this.”

[Ziken] “You’re even feigning innocence right now. It came out of your bag.”

[Ara] “It’s an object I’m not aware of. More importantly… don’t tell me you searched my room? Without even a warrant or any notice at all?

Even if you’re the crown prince, can you even rummage through other people’s rooms too?

[Ziken] “It was standard procedure to conduct an investigation due to the rumours of you spreading this plague.”

[Ara] “Do you think it even makes sense to conduct an investigation based solely on rumours?”

[Ziken] “There is no smoke without a fire1.”

[Ara] “You should notify the other party if you were thinking of conducting an investigation. This feels more like a secret background check in order to nitpick and find a fault to incriminate with more than an actual investigation.”

[Ziken] “Well, it turned out to be a wise thing to do in the end, didn’t it?”

I let out a sigh automatically. What he had determined about this serious situation as a result made me feel like shit, and above all, his final conclusion was wrong as well.

[Ara] “That isn’t mine.”

[Ziken] “It came out of your bag so stop pretending.”

[Ara] “How am I meant to know if it actually came out of my bag, or if Your Highness just showed up holding it and insisted it came out of my bag?”

[Ziken] “Are you even accusing me of lying right now?! Me, the Crown Prince?!”

[Ara] “Then you’re saying that I’ve done something so extensively damaging to the people? Me, the Saintess?”

Ziken frowned when I returned what he had said to me, tit for tat.

[Ara] “Besides, if I really did that, then why would I have to struggle so hard to heal all these people one by one?”

[Ziken] “You’re dissatisfied with the fact that Livi is the Saintess of the Sun God and has everyone’s love all to herself, so you’ve staged your own self-fabricated scenario to expand your influence.” 

Even though I’ve always thought so, I was always shocked at how imaginative this guy is with his narrow-minded thinking.

[Ara] “And also. Isn’t it strange for me to use a bottle that contains a liquid that is apparently the cause of the disease and put said empty bottle back in my bag? Isn’t that pretty much admitting to being the culprit? So why would I do such a stupid thing?”

[Ziken] “…”

Even if I really did that, that’s way too sloppy. It makes more sense for me to dispose of the bottle to where it can’t be found after I use it. Whether it’s shattered or buried in acid; even throwing it in the trash makes more sense, but you’re saying that I just kept it in my bag?

[Ara] “Obviously someone is trying to frame me.”

It was also very pathetic seeing Ziken run to try and arrest me after thinking that he had found the reason for the disease without my detection. I was very worried about the future of the empire, and wondered whether such a pathetic guy could really become the next emperor of this empire.

Ziken’s face turned red, perhaps because of the thought that he had been caught in someone else’s conspiracy and been deceived by their scheming.

[Ziken] “I didn’t know that your tongue could be so poisonous and sway someone, even when you’ve already been caught doing something!”

I shook my head at him, who always just kept raising his voice.

[Ara] “You’ll find out if my tongue is poisonous or if I’m just telling the truth after you conduct an actual investigation.”

[Ziken] “…”

[Ara] “Don’t tell me you didn’t even think to do a proper investigation? You scoured my entire room over some baseless rumours for nothing and you’re just going to accept this inconsistent situation?”

Ziken was speechless when I shot back at him. As he stuttered and floundered for an answer, Olivia, who was beside him, interrupted him.

[Olivia] “It’s because you’ve committed something this openly before in the past.”

[Ara] “…?”

[Olivia] “After you said that you’d give me tea in front of everyone, you actually sent me the tea you talked about.”

She was talking about her own birthday, where all the nobles who wanted to get in line with the Crown Prince sent Olivia a bunch of expensive gifts. The original novel’s Meliara had expressed her jealousy of Olivia by offering to send her tea. It was a statement that belittled her, meaning that, ‘You’re only worth a cup of tea’. And she had actually sent the tea as well.

[Olivia] “And there was also poison in that tea.”

Her words left me speechless. Now that I was thinking about that incident, it was also extremely similar due to its overlapping points of extremely shamelessly announcing ‘I’m the culprit’. It meant that since there was a precedent, then it was reasonable to think that I would have done so.

[Ara] “Saintess, that’s…”

That situation was different to the current one since it was me, but also not me at the same time. But how was I supposed to explain that?

Ziken decided that now was the time for him to add something as I lagged behind a bit.

[Ziken] “To think that you shamelessly chose to send chamomile tea since you knew that Livi enjoys drinking chamomile tea before bed every evening…!”

He clicked his tongue, saying that it was extremely wicked of me to do so. Although his words were aggressive, I felt a sense of oddity to them.

[Ara] “Wait. Chamomile?”

I quietly repeated the question in a slightly foolish voice.

[Ziken] “That’s right. I was suspicious of why you sent it on purpose, but the gentle Livi…!”

He kept chiselling away at me with his highly temperamental voice. But I was no longer listening to him. 

I didn’t have any memories from when that incident happened. But one thing was for sure.

IBVIAAN Ch 38 My True Feelings That Even IDoubtI asked Lecht cautiously after sending back the ghostly pale Ziken.AraLecht, you weren't actually being serious right?LechtWhat do you mean?AraAbout accepting the challenge.Although I tried to quell my anxieties, my efforts were futile in the end due to Lecht's reply.LechtOf course it'll be a war if he touches you.AraNo!I stopped him in a hurry. The only one who could stop this man, whose everything started and ended with me, was me.AraThat foolish Crown Prince was obviously just saying that to show off his ego. So how could you just take it as a challenge!LechtAraThe empire will be destroyed if you truly raise your sword against it, Lecht!Lecht didn't open his mouth, even at my scolding. Just as I was contemplating how to overcome this troublesome situation, I suddenly heard the sound of Lecht trying to stifle his laughter.AraWhy are you laughing?LechtI just didn't expect for you to have that much faith in me.Seemingly in a good mood, Lecht looked at me like I was adorable.AraNo, it's not a matter of having faith in you, rather, it's just a fact.I saw it in the original novel. Of you completely obliterating this place.LechtBut it isn't to the point you'd believe that it's a fact' without a single flicker of doubt.Although I could be sure of it since I had really seen such a scene in the original novel, Lecht seemed to look at it differently.AraNo, I meanHe spoke up just as I was about to protest that that wasn't what I meant.LechtThere is no fixed outcome to any war. A moment of carelessness can result in a backstabbing, and a small mistake can wipe out an entire army.AraLechtEven I have never been 100 percent certain that I would win. But you're already even more sure of it than I am. To the point where you can firmly say that it's a fact'.What he said was right. The war I had witnessed in the original novel was a war that began due to the withering of the rose, where Lecht was completely beside himself and not in his right mind. It was clear that if a war broke out this time, both the quality and the circumstances would differ from that war since the reason for this war would be due to Ziken's provocation.AraBut no matter how I look at it, I don't think Lecht would lose thoughBut aside from that, I still thought it'd be Lecht's victory by a landslide anyway. He's the Demon King Demons were fundamentally more durable and stronger than humans. And they would use demonic creatures too. No matter how you look at it, it'd be Lecht's victory for sure.As I murmured softly while scratching my cheek in embarrassment, Lecht reached both hands out to my face. He cupped my face with both hands and bowed his head slightly. With his forehead now touching mine. The warmth from his body lingered around me.LechtI know you hate when I talk about the past. But in my eyes, in both the past and the present, you were and still areAraLechtYou see through my true feelings even when I find myself doubting them, and flood me with your baseless trust and faith.His slightly muffled voice was affectionate. The feeling of his thumbs stroking both of my cheeks was earnest, as if he couldn't hold it in any longer.Although I found myself once again comparing myself to the me 100 years ago, the sentiment sweeping through my heart was different. In the past, whenever he told me about myself 100 years ago, I'd only feel burdened, and honestly, a little jealous too.But I didn't feel that sort of burden anymore. There was only a gentle breeze in my heart now. It tickled, so I lowered my gaze and started fidgeting with my fingers for no reason.This wasn't what I meant to say What was I going to say againThe words I was going to say disappeared from my mind, with only butterflies filling my stomach. The skin that was touched by his hands seemed to be extra sensitive as my heart started to beat faster and faster.TanmaAhem.It was the butler's needless cough that brought my mind, which had been absorbed in a world where only the two of us existed, back to reality.TanmaI wouldn't interrupt the two of you if I didn't need to, but I will dare to interfere since the situation right now is quite particular. We still have a lot of work left to do.The place where he jerked his head towards was filled with people who were looking at us with shining eyes. They weren't the gazes of those who were waiting for a doctor, but resembled those who were watching a sweet play instead.Realising that we were doing such a thing in public, I stepped away from Lecht.AraThen, shall we finish our work?Turning my body stiffly since I couldn't bring myself to look back at Lecht due to my sheer embarrassment of it all, I spotted a dash of pink at the end of my field of vision.AraOh.Already far away from me, Linden was walking away. That pink hair gradually disappeared around the corner at the end of the road.My heart, which had only been feeling ticklish, suddenly started to tingle slightly. It felt as if I had just applied an extremely potent salve on it. I felt like I seemed to know what this uncomfortable feeling was.Kelber dug into my hand as I continued to stare vacantly at the place where he had disappeared.KelberHing?He tugged slightly at my sleeve with his teeth, as if he was saying, Let's go and heal them, quickly'.AraMmhm, we should get to work.I turned on the heel of my foot with a heavy heart.* * *pls do not share this anywhere or u will always stub ur toe when u walk past a door frame !! this translation has been stolen from mioscorner.com, pls only read there i'm begging u :kneels:I poured my energy into healing the influx of sick people. Lecht led the people adeptly whereas I had no idea where Tanma had gone.It was around sunset when the Priest Trio appeared, causing a commotion in the peaceful clinic as they arrived.Priest TrioSaintess! There's a big problem!Every one of them was saying the exact same thing, unlike how they usually always quarrelled.Priest TrioYou must leave right now!There was an urgency in their voices as they ran towards me, trying to avoid the crowd of sick people. Surprised, I briefly asked the people I was dealing with for their understanding and went to greet them. Beads of sweat were dripping down the foreheads of all three of them.AraWhat on earth has happened for all of you to run here with your faces so ghostly pale?Lunarism PriestYou should escape right now!AraWhy?Lunarism PriestThe Crown Prince, that man has finally burst into action.I frowned. Not much time had even passed before I had to hear Ziken's name again. Don't tell me you're really going to go to war?AraWhat did that person do? Take your time to explainBefore I could even finish asking them to explain the situation, the sound of clanking armour drew nearer, and the door that the Priest Trio had just come through swung open once again.ZikenThere you are.With a triumphant expression on his face, Ziken strode in with a group of knights. Olivia was also by his side.KelberGrrrrThe Priest Trio blocked his way and stood in front of me while Kelber was by my side guarding me. Lecht, who had been on the opposite side of the room, was now standing next to me before I knew it.Ziken pushed the sick people who were blocking the way in front of him to the side and scoffed jeeringly as soon as he saw me.ZikenDrag that woman out.The knights stepped forward at his command. Flinching in shock, I stepped back and bumped into Lecht, who was standing next to me.Without another word, he wrapped his arm firmly around my shoulders and pulled out his sword. Kelber also raised his hackles and enlarged his size while the Priest Trio didn't budge an inch from where they were standing, as if they were about to have a fistfight with them at any moment now.LechtAre you going to go down this path after all?I swallowed dryly at Lecht's words.Ziken, are you really choosing to go to war?ZikenPlease step back if you don't wish to be an accomplice, Grand Duke.AraAccomplice?Ziken pulled out a small bottle at my question.AraWhat is that?ZikenThe cause of this epidemic.I furrowed my eyebrows.If that's the cause of this epidemic does that mean that that's what caused the disease?His next words were even more absurd.ZikenThis came out of your bag.AraWhat sort of nonsenseIt was my first time seeing the glass bottle, which still had a few drops of its blue contents.AraThis is my first time this.ZikenYou're even feigning innocence right now. It came out of your bag.AraIt's an object I'm not aware of. More importantly don't tell me you searched my room? Without even a warrant or any notice at all?Even if you're the crown prince, can you even rummage through other people's rooms too?ZikenIt was standard procedure to conduct an investigation due to the rumours of you spreading this plague.AraDo you think it even makes sense to conduct an investigation based solely on rumours?ZikenThere is no smoke without a fire1.AraYou should notify the other party if you were thinking of conducting an investigation. This feels more like a secret background check in order to nitpick and find a fault to incriminate with more than an actual investigation.ZikenWell, it turned out to be a wise thing to do in the end, didn't it?I let out a sigh automatically. What he had determined about this serious situation as a result made me feel like shit, and above all, his final conclusion was wrong as well.AraThat isn't mine.ZikenIt came out of your bag so stop pretending.AraHow am I meant to know if it actually came out of my bag, or if Your Highness just showed up holding it and insisted it came out of my bag?ZikenAre you even accusing me of lying right now?! Me, the Crown Prince?!AraThen you're saying that I've done something so extensively damaging to the people? Me, the Saintess?Ziken frowned when I returned what he had said to me, tit for tat.AraBesides, if I really did that, then why would I have to struggle so hard to heal all these people one by one?ZikenYou're dissatisfied with the fact that Livi is the Saintess of the Sun God and has everyone's love all to herself, so you've staged your own self-fabricated scenario to expand your influence.Even though I've always thought so, I was always shocked at how imaginative this guy is with his narrow-minded thinking.AraAnd also. Isn't it strange for me to use a bottle that contains a liquid that is apparently the cause of the disease and put said empty bottle back in my bag? Isn't that pretty much admitting to being the culprit? So why would I do such a stupid thing?ZikenEven if I really did that, that's way too sloppy. It makes more sense for me to dispose of the bottle to where it can't be found after I use it. Whether it's shattered or buried in acid; even throwing it in the trash makes more sense, but you're saying that I just kept it in my bag?AraObviously someone is trying to frame me.It was also very pathetic seeing Ziken run to try and arrest me after thinking that he had found the reason for the disease without my detection. I was very worried about the future of the empire, and wondered whether such a pathetic guy could really become the next emperor of this empire.Ziken's face turned red, perhaps because of the thought that he had been caught in someone else's conspiracy and been deceived by their scheming.ZikenI didn't know that your tongue could be so poisonous and sway someone, even when you've already been caught doing something!I shook my head at him, who always just kept raising his voice.AraYou'll find out if my tongue is poisonous or if I'm just telling the truth after you conduct an actual investigation.ZikenAraDon't tell me you didn't even think to do a proper investigation? You scoured my entire room over some baseless rumours for nothing and you're just going to accept this inconsistent situation?Ziken was speechless when I shot back at him. As he stuttered and floundered for an answer, Olivia, who was beside him, interrupted him.OliviaIt's because you've committed something this openly before in the past.Ara?OliviaAfter you said that you'd give me tea in front of everyone, you actually sent me the tea you talked about.She was talking about her own birthday, where all the nobles who wanted to get in line with the Crown Prince sent Olivia a bunch of expensive gifts. The original novel's Meliara had expressed her jealousy of Olivia by offering to send her tea. It was a statement that belittled her, meaning that, You're only worth a cup of tea'. And she had actually sent the tea as well.OliviaAnd there was also poison in that tea.Her words left me speechless. Now that I was thinking about that incident, it was also extremely similar due to its overlapping points of extremely shamelessly announcing I'm the culprit'. It meant that since there was a precedent, then it was reasonable to think that I would have done so.AraSaintess, that'sThat situation was different to the current one since it was me, but also not me at the same time. But how was I supposed to explain that?Ziken decided that now was the time for him to add something as I lagged behind a bit.ZikenTo think that you shamelessly chose to send chamomile tea since you knew that Livi enjoys drinking chamomile tea before bed every evening!He clicked his tongue, saying that it was extremely wicked of me to do so. Although his words were aggressive, I felt a sense of oddity to them.AraWait. Chamomile?I quietly repeated the question in a slightly foolish voice.ZikenThat's right. I was suspicious of why you sent it on purpose, but the gentle Livi!He kept chiselling away at me with his highly temperamental voice. But I was no longer listening to him.I didn't have any memories from when that incident happened. But one thing was for sure.