"And you'll need to fill out these double yew twos..."
It was Sunday and Myrtle found herself getting called in for a job interview by the Rascals. A solid B-tier team, but that was nothing to sneeze at after having to deal with those D-listers, The Errants. However, the interview took a rather strange turn and was not going as expected.
"Hold it."
The man from the HR department stopped and looked up, "Uh, something wrong?"
Myrtle nodded, "Yeah. I got called for an urgent interview. I showed up. I haven't even met anyone on the team and you are already giving me income tax forms? What's going on? I thought you were considering me for a job."
The HR guy blinked in confusion, "I was told you were already hired."
Myrtle blinked back, "What???"
The HR guy nodded, "Yup. You're being assigned to the bench, but you're second string. You know what they means, right?"
Myrtle looked confused, "That means I'm on patrols and back-up on major assignments if any of the primary team is unavailable, as needed." She tilted her head, "So... No grunt work? No clean up? It actually pays real money?"
He nodded and slid a folder across the table, "It isn't stellar, but it's fair and above industry standard, to factor in the standard of living in the city. And as a second stringer, you get an apartment on base, rent free. Free food at the commissary." He raised a finger, "And we now offer full medical."
She pointed at her hair, "I regenerate in sunlight."
He looked surprise, "Oh? I suppose that explains things."
"Why?"
"Well, I wondered why we were hiring you without a physical. Medical is-" Myrtle cut him off.
"Why Am I Being Hired, on the spot, without an interview, PERIOD?"
"uhhh... I don't-"
"I want to talk to the team leader." Myrtle folded her arms.
"Well, Sass is kind of busy. I'm not sure-"
Myrtle started to get up.
"Where you going?"
"I'm leaving if I don't meet the team leader." She looked at the guy sitting across from her, "NOW."
The HR Guy suddenly went pale. He nodded and rushed out of the room. It was a good twenty minutes before the door opened again and in walked Sass and Grifter. They were smiling, but looked a little puzzled, "A hello. You must be Myrtle Fields." Sass offered a hand, "Glad to have you on board."
Myrtle didn't shake the offered hand and just crossed her arms instead, "Explain."
Sass looked at her empty hand and pulled it back, "Explain what?"
Myrtle tilted her head to the side, "I was told I was being offered an interview. Next thing I know, I'm told I already have the job. What gives?"
Grifter tilted her head to the side, "You don't know? I thought Adam explained it to you."
Myrtle squinted, "Who's Adam?"
Sass held up her hand off the ground, "About so high? White feathery wings? Looks like an angel?"
Myrtle blinked and sat up, "Wait. Angel? You know Angel?"
Sass nodded and moved over to sit on the corner of the table so she could look down at Myrtle, "Yeah. He's a hell of a find. A healer and a buffer. He could write his own ticket with just about any team. He showed up yesterday saying he made up his mind and he wanted to sign on with us." She raised a finger, "He had one condition."
Grifter moved to sit behind the table, "He said we had to give his good friend a job." She pointed at Myrtle, "You."
Myrtle blinked and stared at the finger, "Wait wait wait... hold it. I met him like... once and we-" She cut herself off, "Uhhh... Well." Myrtle avoided eye contact as her voice trailed off.
Sass suddenly burst out laughing, "Oh my god, you too?"
Grifter straightened up, "Hrmm... I hope this isn't going to be an HR issue."
Sass looked at Grifter, "Honestly? Anyone else and I'd be worried. But the truth is, I don't think it's going to be a problem on his end. We talked a bit yesterday and he apparently wants an 'open relationship' and..." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "I'm okay with that, especially since he can cure most diseases."
Myrtle held up her hands and shook her head violently, "Wait! Hold it! You..." She paused, "We are talking about an extremely hot jail bait looking angel, right?"
Sass shook her head, "He's twenty eight, actually. Where he's from, he apparently looks like he's thirty five. They age differently in his universe. So he isn't jail bait, but yeah... that Angel. Adam Angel."
Myrtle looked shocked and remained speechless.
Grifter tilted her head to the side, "You... okay?"
Myrtle looked into Grifter's gas mask, "No. No I'm not. You guys are telling me you are only hiring me because we're a package deal? I don't know how I feel about that."
Sass straightened up and started to look worried, "Well, hold on. Yes, we are hiring you because of Adam's conditions for employment, but the truth is, you have a good track record, under certain conditions, your stats are quite impressive, and frankly, you're a regenerator, so that cuts down on our overhead. I mean, you aren't our first choice, but you aren't a bad choice either."
Grifter sighed, "I won't lie to you. Our medical bills are killing us. If Adam wants to sign on at our usual rate for primary line up, and the only thing extra he wants is a little nepotism, you are cheap at twice the price."
Myrtle was quiet for a while as she thought about this. Eventually she spoke, "Before I agree, I need to talk to Adam. I... need to explain things."
Sass looked at Grifter who glanced back, then they both looked at Myrtle, "Sure. We understand." Then they got up to leave, "We'll get ahold of him. He should be in the lounge."
Some time later, the door slowly opened and Adam poked his head in, "Uh..." Spying Myrtle, he smiled and stepped in, "Hiyee!" And ran over to give her a hug.
Myrtle blinked and abruptly stopped him hard by holding out her arm at full length, hand flat to catch him in the center of his chest, "Hold it."
Adam stopped, looked at her hand, then up at her, "Are you mad?"
Myrtle froze at the question. She thought about it briefly, "Actually, I'm not sure." She waved her hands around the room, "What the actual Hell? Like, why am I here?"
Adam frowned then shifted on his feet, looking uncomfortable, "Well, I heard you needed a job and I was being offered a job here and I wasn't sure I wanted to take it but then I thought if there was someone here I knew then it would be easier to take the job so I told them I would take the job if you had a job here so they agreed and now you are here and everything is going to be great!" He smiled and tried to look hopeful.
Myrtle blinked at the barrage of words and rubbed her eye, "Hold it. You heard I needed a job and because you didn't know anyone here, you demanded they hire me?" Adam nodded. Myrtle looked off into the distance, then back at Adam, "What the hell made you think I needed a job?"
Adam froze and seemed to fall in on himself, "Uhh... I dunno... I just... heard about it." He looked at the floor and hunched his shoulders.
Myrtle was about to say something very aggressive, but noticed his reaction and just sighed, "I..." She rubbed her face, "Look. I don't need any handouts, okay?" She looked off to the side for a bit, then back at Jack, "Is this because of..." She rolled her hand and jogged her head over her shoulder.
Adam blinked, "Because... you have a neck cramp?"
Myrtle closed her eyes, "No. because I slept with you."
Adam's raised his eyebrows, "OH! Uh... no. No. That's not what this is about. I just... had things going my way, and I heard you were having trouble, so I figured, what the heck, share the wealth, I always say!" He smiled cheerfully, "It was nice and all, don't get me wrong, but this is honestly about trying to help you out." He looked from side to side, "I... heard you might be leaving."
Myrtle froze, then nodded slightly, "Yeah... I'm... running out of money. It's time I packed it in and went home."
Adam tilted his head to the side, "Do... you not want to do this anymore?"
Myrtle laughed bitterly, "Of course I do."
Adam gestured to the paperwork on the table, "So take the job! It's a great team! Nice people! They got a huge TV. I swear, Robert DeNiro's mole has got to be ten feet wide!"
Myrtle blinked, "Who's Robert DeNiro?"
Adam's face fell, "It... is a joke. A line from a song. Never mind."
Myrtle stood up, "Uh Look. Thanks, but no." She started walking out.
Adam watched her go past. He froze as if having some sort of internal conflict, then abruptly turned to make a demand, "At least tell me why."
She stopped, then shook her head, "I remember... stories. When I was a kid. The few things I remember about my mom and I always wanted to live up to those stories but..." She turned to face him, "I can't. Okay? I've tried and tried and I keep failing. I can't make it." She gestured to Adam, "And if I take this hand out from you, Angel, it's like given in."
Adam stared at her as he listened, then asked quietly, "Did your mom work alone?"
Myrtle looked a little taken off guard, "Uh... no. She was part of a group. One day she saved my father's life and at the time things were getting bad, so she quit so they could have me and my brothers."
Adam nodded, "And did she raise you alone?"
Myrtle blinked, "Ye- er... No." She sighed, "Dad raised me alone. Mom raised me with my dad until she... was killed." She squinted, "What does-"
Adam cut her off, "So your mom was part of a team and fought the good fight with help from others." He stepped closer, "And she worked with your father to raise you. It sounds like your mother got help when it was necessary, and helped others when they needed it. I don't think she was a cape who did it on her own."
Myrtle took a step back at Adam's words, "But that-"
Adam took a step closer to maintain the distance, "Nobody does anything alone. Not really. Your dad sounds like he raised you alone, but I bet your brothers helped out." He pointed at her, "I bet you helped out." He pointed at himself, "This isn't a hand out. It's a hand up. I'm sorry if you are gun shy about joining a group, but I'd really like you here."
Myrtle lowered her gaze to the floor in thought, then looked up, "Alright, but you have to tell me why."
Adam squinted, "Why I'm helping you?" She nodded. Adam looked at the ceiling light for a moment, then back down at Myrtle, "I dunno. I guess... I just got a good feeling about you." He smiled brightly as if something just occurred to him, "You got something special. It'd be a pity to see it go to waste."
Myrtle's jaw dropped open for a second, before she recovered. She cleared her throat, "Oh?" She turned away for a few moments, then back to Adam, "I... have a rule. No relationships with my co-workers. So that would mean no..." She wiggled her fingers back and forth between herself and Adam, "THAT. You still want me on the team?"
Adam thought for a second, "Oh. Sure. That's fine."
Myrtle looked surprised, "Really? You're fine with that?"
Adam nodded, "Yup. No prob-blamo. Rules are rules, after all."
Myrtle looked at Adam out of the corner of her eye then said, "Well... okay. I guess I can give it a shot." She scratched the side of her nose, "But not because I need the job."
Adam tilted his head to the side, "Oh?"
She nodded, "Yeah. I met someone and... I kind of like him and... if I leave town I will never know what could have been. So, I'll take the job... for him." She shifted her eyes from side to side as she mumbled, "I guess."
Adam grinned, "Yay!" He jumped on her and gave her a hug, wrapping his wings around her, "This is great! I hope you and Jack are happy together!"
Myrtle was taken off guard, but accepted the hug and gave a hug back, "Thanks I hope-" She froze, "Hold it." She slowly pushed him away, "I never said anything about Jack."
Adam froze, "You... didn't? Oh. I'm sure I-"
Myrtle narrowed her eyes, "In fact, almost nobody would know. What gives?"
Adam looked anywhere but at Myrtle, "Well... maybe... last Friday I had stopped by but you weren't home so maybe I was on the roof waiting for you when you came back from your date and maybe I heard the whole conversation?" He grinned with way too many teeth. The grin slowly turned into a wince.
Myrtle stared at him and folded her arms, "Uh... huh. And how do you know his name?"
Adam blinked, "Jack? Oh... uh... that jerk? Yeah. A bunch of us got ripped from our universes. He was one of the guys." He blinked, "Not that I am discouraging you from dating him, mind you!" He shook his head violently, "No no no, I'm sure he's a fine gentleman, but uh... he just... rubs me the wrong way." Adam shrugged and averted his eyes, "You understand?"
Myrtle slowly unfolded her arms, "Well... yeah. I can see that. He is a bit abrasive." She looked off to the side, then back at Adam, "So you heard I was leaving town and wanted me to stay?" Adam looked at the floor and nodded. She then tilted her head, "Even if that meant I'm dating someone else?" Adam looked up through his eyelashes and nodded again.
Myrtle stepped forward to put a hand on his shoulder, "That... might be the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me." Adam raised his head and looked hopeful. She smiled brightly, "I guess you are an angel after all."
Adam shrugged, "I try to be." He hooked a thumb towards the exit, "Should I get the HR lady so you can finish the paperwork?"
Myrtle heard him say 'Lady' and let out a snort, "Lady? You talk funny. It is an HR GUY, by the way. I don't know of many women who work in HR." Then nodded with encouragement, "But alright..."
"Let's see where this goes."
"And you'll need to fill out these double yew twos..."
It was Sunday and Myrtle found herself getting called in for a job interview by the Rascals. A solid B-tier team, but that was nothing to sneeze at after having to deal with those D-listers, The Errants. However, the interview took a rather strange turn and was not going as expected.
"Hold it."
The man from the HR department stopped and looked up, "Uh, something wrong?"
Myrtle nodded, "Yeah. I got called for an urgent interview. I showed up. I haven't even met anyone on the team and you are already giving me income tax forms? What's going on? I thought you were considering me for a job."
The HR guy blinked in confusion, "I was told you were already hired."
Myrtle blinked back, "What???"
The HR guy nodded, "Yup. You're being assigned to the bench, but you're second string. You know what they means, right?"
Myrtle looked confused, "That means I'm on patrols and back-up on major assignments if any of the primary team is unavailable, as needed." She tilted her head, "So... No grunt work? No clean up? It actually pays real money?"
He nodded and slid a folder across the table, "It isn't stellar, but it's fair and above industry standard, to factor in the standard of living in the city. And as a second stringer, you get an apartment on base, rent free. Free food at the commissary." He raised a finger, "And we now offer full medical."
She pointed at her hair, "I regenerate in sunlight."
He looked surprise, "Oh? I suppose that explains things."
"Why?"
"Well, I wondered why we were hiring you without a physical. Medical is-" Myrtle cut him off.
"Why Am I Being Hired, on the spot, without an interview, PERIOD?"
"uhhh... I don't-"
"I want to talk to the team leader." Myrtle folded her arms.
"Well, Sass is kind of busy. I'm not sure-"
Myrtle started to get up.
"Where you going?"
"I'm leaving if I don't meet the team leader." She looked at the guy sitting across from her, "NOW."
The HR Guy suddenly went pale. He nodded and rushed out of the room. It was a good twenty minutes before the door opened again and in walked Sass and Grifter. They were smiling, but looked a little puzzled, "A hello. You must be Myrtle Fields." Sass offered a hand, "Glad to have you on board."
Myrtle didn't shake the offered hand and just crossed her arms instead, "Explain."
Sass looked at her empty hand and pulled it back, "Explain what?"
Myrtle tilted her head to the side, "I was told I was being offered an interview. Next thing I know, I'm told I already have the job. What gives?"
Grifter tilted her head to the side, "You don't know? I thought Adam explained it to you."
Myrtle squinted, "Who's Adam?"
Sass held up her hand off the ground, "About so high? White feathery wings? Looks like an angel?"
Myrtle blinked and sat up, "Wait. Angel? You know Angel?"
Sass nodded and moved over to sit on the corner of the table so she could look down at Myrtle, "Yeah. He's a hell of a find. A healer and a buffer. He could write his own ticket with just about any team. He showed up yesterday saying he made up his mind and he wanted to sign on with us." She raised a finger, "He had one condition."
Grifter moved to sit behind the table, "He said we had to give his good friend a job." She pointed at Myrtle, "You."
Myrtle blinked and stared at the finger, "Wait wait wait... hold it. I met him like... once and we-" She cut herself off, "Uhhh... Well." Myrtle avoided eye contact as her voice trailed off.
Sass suddenly burst out laughing, "Oh my god, you too?"
Grifter straightened up, "Hrmm... I hope this isn't going to be an HR issue."
Sass looked at Grifter, "Honestly? Anyone else and I'd be worried. But the truth is, I don't think it's going to be a problem on his end. We talked a bit yesterday and he apparently wants an 'open relationship' and..." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "I'm okay with that, especially since he can cure most diseases."
Myrtle held up her hands and shook her head violently, "Wait! Hold it! You..." She paused, "We are talking about an extremely hot jail bait looking angel, right?"
Sass shook her head, "He's twenty eight, actually. Where he's from, he apparently looks like he's thirty five. They age differently in his universe. So he isn't jail bait, but yeah... that Angel. Adam Angel."
Myrtle looked shocked and remained speechless.
Grifter tilted her head to the side, "You... okay?"
Myrtle looked into Grifter's gas mask, "No. No I'm not. You guys are telling me you are only hiring me because we're a package deal? I don't know how I feel about that."
Sass straightened up and started to look worried, "Well, hold on. Yes, we are hiring you because of Adam's conditions for employment, but the truth is, you have a good track record, under certain conditions, your stats are quite impressive, and frankly, you're a regenerator, so that cuts down on our overhead. I mean, you aren't our first choice, but you aren't a bad choice either."
Grifter sighed, "I won't lie to you. Our medical bills are killing us. If Adam wants to sign on at our usual rate for primary line up, and the only thing extra he wants is a little nepotism, you are cheap at twice the price."
Myrtle was quiet for a while as she thought about this. Eventually she spoke, "Before I agree, I need to talk to Adam. I... need to explain things."
Sass looked at Grifter who glanced back, then they both looked at Myrtle, "Sure. We understand." Then they got up to leave, "We'll get ahold of him. He should be in the lounge."
Some time later, the door slowly opened and Adam poked his head in, "Uh..." Spying Myrtle, he smiled and stepped in, "Hiyee!" And ran over to give her a hug.
Myrtle blinked and abruptly stopped him hard by holding out her arm at full length, hand flat to catch him in the center of his chest, "Hold it."
Adam stopped, looked at her hand, then up at her, "Are you mad?"
Myrtle froze at the question. She thought about it briefly, "Actually, I'm not sure." She waved her hands around the room, "What the actual Hell? Like, why am I here?"
Adam frowned then shifted on his feet, looking uncomfortable, "Well, I heard you needed a job and I was being offered a job here and I wasn't sure I wanted to take it but then I thought if there was someone here I knew then it would be easier to take the job so I told them I would take the job if you had a job here so they agreed and now you are here and everything is going to be great!" He smiled and tried to look hopeful.
Myrtle blinked at the barrage of words and rubbed her eye, "Hold it. You heard I needed a job and because you didn't know anyone here, you demanded they hire me?" Adam nodded. Myrtle looked off into the distance, then back at Adam, "What the hell made you think I needed a job?"
Adam froze and seemed to fall in on himself, "Uhh... I dunno... I just... heard about it." He looked at the floor and hunched his shoulders.
Myrtle was about to say something very aggressive, but noticed his reaction and just sighed, "I..." She rubbed her face, "Look. I don't need any handouts, okay?" She looked off to the side for a bit, then back at Jack, "Is this because of..." She rolled her hand and jogged her head over her shoulder.
Adam blinked, "Because... you have a neck cramp?"
Myrtle closed her eyes, "No. because I slept with you."
Adam's raised his eyebrows, "OH! Uh... no. No. That's not what this is about. I just... had things going my way, and I heard you were having trouble, so I figured, what the heck, share the wealth, I always say!" He smiled cheerfully, "It was nice and all, don't get me wrong, but this is honestly about trying to help you out." He looked from side to side, "I... heard you might be leaving."
Myrtle froze, then nodded slightly, "Yeah... I'm... running out of money. It's time I packed it in and went home."
Adam tilted his head to the side, "Do... you not want to do this anymore?"
Myrtle laughed bitterly, "Of course I do."
Adam gestured to the paperwork on the table, "So take the job! It's a great team! Nice people! They got a huge TV. I swear, Robert DeNiro's mole has got to be ten feet wide!"
Myrtle blinked, "Who's Robert DeNiro?"
Adam's face fell, "It... is a joke. A line from a song. Never mind."
Myrtle stood up, "Uh Look. Thanks, but no." She started walking out.
Adam watched her go past. He froze as if having some sort of internal conflict, then abruptly turned to make a demand, "At least tell me why."
She stopped, then shook her head, "I remember... stories. When I was a kid. The few things I remember about my mom and I always wanted to live up to those stories but..." She turned to face him, "I can't. Okay? I've tried and tried and I keep failing. I can't make it." She gestured to Adam, "And if I take this hand out from you, Angel, it's like given in."
Adam stared at her as he listened, then asked quietly, "Did your mom work alone?"
Myrtle looked a little taken off guard, "Uh... no. She was part of a group. One day she saved my father's life and at the time things were getting bad, so she quit so they could have me and my brothers."
Adam nodded, "And did she raise you alone?"
Myrtle blinked, "Ye- er... No." She sighed, "Dad raised me alone. Mom raised me with my dad until she... was killed." She squinted, "What does-"
Adam cut her off, "So your mom was part of a team and fought the good fight with help from others." He stepped closer, "And she worked with your father to raise you. It sounds like your mother got help when it was necessary, and helped others when they needed it. I don't think she was a cape who did it on her own."
Myrtle took a step back at Adam's words, "But that-"
Adam took a step closer to maintain the distance, "Nobody does anything alone. Not really. Your dad sounds like he raised you alone, but I bet your brothers helped out." He pointed at her, "I bet you helped out." He pointed at himself, "This isn't a hand out. It's a hand up. I'm sorry if you are gun shy about joining a group, but I'd really like you here."
Myrtle lowered her gaze to the floor in thought, then looked up, "Alright, but you have to tell me why."
Adam squinted, "Why I'm helping you?" She nodded. Adam looked at the ceiling light for a moment, then back down at Myrtle, "I dunno. I guess... I just got a good feeling about you." He smiled brightly as if something just occurred to him, "You got something special. It'd be a pity to see it go to waste."
Myrtle's jaw dropped open for a second, before she recovered. She cleared her throat, "Oh?" She turned away for a few moments, then back to Adam, "I... have a rule. No relationships with my co-workers. So that would mean no..." She wiggled her fingers back and forth between herself and Adam, "THAT. You still want me on the team?"
Adam thought for a second, "Oh. Sure. That's fine."
Myrtle looked surprised, "Really? You're fine with that?"
Adam nodded, "Yup. No prob-blamo. Rules are rules, after all."
Myrtle looked at Adam out of the corner of her eye then said, "Well... okay. I guess I can give it a shot." She scratched the side of her nose, "But not because I need the job."
Adam tilted his head to the side, "Oh?"
She nodded, "Yeah. I met someone and... I kind of like him and... if I leave town I will never know what could have been. So, I'll take the job... for him." She shifted her eyes from side to side as she mumbled, "I guess."
Adam grinned, "Yay!" He jumped on her and gave her a hug, wrapping his wings around her, "This is great! I hope you and Jack are happy together!"
Myrtle was taken off guard, but accepted the hug and gave a hug back, "Thanks I hope-" She froze, "Hold it." She slowly pushed him away, "I never said anything about Jack."
Adam froze, "You... didn't? Oh. I'm sure I-"
Myrtle narrowed her eyes, "In fact, almost nobody would know. What gives?"
Adam looked anywhere but at Myrtle, "Well... maybe... last Friday I had stopped by but you weren't home so maybe I was on the roof waiting for you when you came back from your date and maybe I heard the whole conversation?" He grinned with way too many teeth. The grin slowly turned into a wince.
Myrtle stared at him and folded her arms, "Uh... huh. And how do you know his name?"
Adam blinked, "Jack? Oh... uh... that jerk? Yeah. A bunch of us got ripped from our universes. He was one of the guys." He blinked, "Not that I am discouraging you from dating him, mind you!" He shook his head violently, "No no no, I'm sure he's a fine gentleman, but uh... he just... rubs me the wrong way." Adam shrugged and averted his eyes, "You understand?"
Myrtle slowly unfolded her arms, "Well... yeah. I can see that. He is a bit abrasive." She looked off to the side, then back at Adam, "So you heard I was leaving town and wanted me to stay?" Adam looked at the floor and nodded. She then tilted her head, "Even if that meant I'm dating someone else?" Adam looked up through his eyelashes and nodded again.
Myrtle stepped forward to put a hand on his shoulder, "That... might be the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me." Adam raised his head and looked hopeful. She smiled brightly, "I guess you are an angel after all."
Adam shrugged, "I try to be." He hooked a thumb towards the exit, "Should I get the HR lady so you can finish the paperwork?"
Myrtle heard him say 'Lady' and let out a snort, "Lady? You talk funny. It is an HR GUY, by the way. I don't know of many women who work in HR." Then nodded with encouragement, "But alright..."
"Let's see where this goes."
