Chapter 583: Uncontrollable Desires And Emotions Part 6
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"Ugh…" Mira grunted, her eyes slowly opening. She was about to ask, "What happened?" but immediately stopped when she felt that her body was restricted.
A deep frown formed on her face, and her eyes started to glow again. She tried to break free of the threads that bound her, but they were too tightly wrapped around her body that she couldn't generate enough force to break free.
"Oh? You're already awake?"
Mira heard a familiar voice, looked over, and saw Ryuu walking toward her.
She ignored his question and stared into his eyes, getting more and more agitated as the seconds ticked by.
"What… did you do to me?" She said in a low voice, trying to contain the emotions that were spilling over.
Ryuu just shrugged, "For some reason, you went insane. Tying you up was the only way to stop you from going berserk."
He brought his face a little closer to hers but kept his distance as he didn't feel like getting his chest caved in a second time.
"Now, are you going to go crazy again, or have you finally regained a semblance of sanity?" He asked, but his words caused Mira's frown to deepen.
"...Crazy? What are you talking about?" Mira questioned. She had no memory of what she had done ever since the last Hell of Weakness trial started. All she could remember was that her suppressed emotions rampaged through her mind in one second, and in the next, she lost consciousness.
Everything after that was a blur.
"I don't know," Ryuu shook his head, "Master and I found you not too long ago, killing everything in sight. We were going to leave you alone, but when we noticed you were heading toward a city, Master felt we had to stop you."
He and Master Izaria were as equally confused about the situation, if not more than Mira!
"I see…" Mira muttered. She wasn't too surprised by this, but knowing that her body was moving on its own without her permission, left her feeling a bit disgruntled. However, that feeling quickly evolved into something more due to the amplification of emotions.
Noticing that Mira was quickly reverting to what he termed "demon mode," Ryuu swiftly appeared behind her.
"Nuh-uh. I won't let you do that." He chopped her neck a few times, knocking her out, "When you wake up again, try and control yourself. We can talk after that."
That was the last thing Mira heard before everything went black.
However, she woke up a dozen seconds later because her strength and regeneration were so high.
'Hmmm?' Mira frowned again but wasn't as confused as before. Thus, not wanting to waste her time questioning Ryuu, she closed her eyes and began meditating.
'I have to find a way to control myself, or else this will never end!'
Mira had a premonition that if she didn't learn to control her emotions, she'd be nothing more than a bloodthirsty demon for the rest of her life until she was eventually killed.
A shiver ran down her spine when her thoughts reached this point.
'I can't die just yet! I still have things I need to do before that happens!'
'I will not waste this life away because I couldn't control myself!'
A burning determination burned within her while she focused all of her attention on her mind, and once she did, she froze.
'Wh-What the hell is all this?!' Mira gaped, hardly believing what was going on.
Her mind was nothing more than a jumbled-up mess right now! Nothing was where it was supposed to be, and it wasn't just her emotions that were affected by it! Although they might be the cause of the issue, everything else, such as ALL her past experiences, was tangled up!
'No wonder I can't control myself! Since my pent-up emotions were released, they wreaked havoc on my mind, causing everything to go out of order.'
If she were to paint a picture of her mind right now, it would look like a house that just got destroyed by a tornado.
The roof was missing, the walls were torn up, the rooms weren't separated, and everything inside was either missing or destroyed. Nothing was where it was supposed to be, nor was there any semblance of control or order—just a whirlwind of emotions that kept rampaging about, further destroying the house that is her mind.
'First order of business is to calm down this tornado,' Mira thought and edged her consciousness toward it. Once the two made contact, her mind was instantly consumed by the near-endless torrent of rage.
"Keuk!" Mira gritted her teeth, her eyes slowly shining a deeper shade of crimson.
Her blood-red eyes swiveled to Ryuu. Feeling her control slip away, she yelled, "Knock me out!"
"Eh?" Ryuu answered dumbly, but Mira wasn't in the mood for his shenanigans.
"Knock me out, you dumbass!"
"Eh? A-Ah! Al-Alright…" Ryuu fumbled his words but quickly appeared behind her, giving her another few chops on the neck.
Afterward, he stared at Mira, flabbergasted and confused as to what was going on, but he felt that things were moving in the right direction, so he opted not to interfere.
A few seconds later, she awoke and did the same thing again. She ignored Ryuu's questioning gaze and focused on trying to quell her rage. Although there were many other emotions, feelings, and desires mixed in, that was the primary element that was making her lose control.
Her consciousness touched that tornado, which was smaller by maybe a millimeter than before, and let the rage flow through her, quickly losing control again.
However, this time, she managed to keep her sanity for a fraction of a second longer. It wasn't much progress, but it was progress nonetheless.
Ryuu, then, had to give her another few chops on the back of her head to give her mind a good reset, only for her to restart the process.
This was the only short-term solution Mira could think of that could solve this issue of not being able to control her mind and body. She felt like there wasn't any other choice.
Perhaps she could sit down and talk it out with Ryuu, Master Izaria, Rhydian, or anyone that was around. She could share her life story and explain to them why she's so angry, like a therapy session.
But the thing is… she already knows what's wrong! She was of these pent-up emotions, this rage, since the very beginning.
One doesn't spend countless years alive, and who knows how many more dead, without understanding themselves on a fundamental level.
She knew she was broken. Hell, she even knew how to fix herself. She just couldn't.
She'd never feel complete unless she killed the man who drowned her life in sorrow.
However, that was impossible for her current self. So, all that anger, resentment, hatred, pain, and sorrow was left to fester and grow, resulting in what she was currently facing.
While these emotions have fueled her drive to get stronger and overcome any obstacle, there's only so much a person can take before it stops being a motivator and turns into something destructive.
'Thus, I can either unleash that destruction upon the world or on myself. Those are really my only two options. And since the former clearly didn't work, I can only go with the latter,' Mira thought before touching the tornado again.
Just as she was about to lose control of herself, she smiled, 'But this is also an opportunity. Since the walls have been torn down and everything is scattered, I get to build a new house. One that won't falter or shake, even if a god were to strike it down! One that will work at max efficiency all the time and can regulate my emotions, keeping them on track.'
She didn't know how she was going to do that, but that didn't matter right now because she still needed to gain control over her mind.
'Once the baleful tornado runs out of energy, I'll be able to move forward and plan for the next step. I just hope I don't run out of time and fail the Hell of Weakness before I can complete this trial.'
That was Mira's last thought before Ryuu knocked her unconscious again.
***
This carried on for many hours; Mira would wake up, meditate, go into "demon mode", then Ryuu would knock her unconscious.
Every time this happened, Mira would be a little less angry when she awoke and would stay conscious for just a bit longer. It wasn't much, but after a few hours, the results were noticeable. And after a day, Mira could stay awake for several minutes without losing control.
Then, four days passed by, and she could stay conscious without losing control, even after several hours.
However, she still wasn't finished, nor did all that rage disappear. No, it was still there; Mira had just forced out all the excess energy. Now was the time to put everything in order and complete this trial!
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"Ugh…" Mira grunted, her eyes slowly opening. She was about to ask, "What happened?" but immediately stopped when she felt that her body was restricted.
A deep frown formed on her face, and her eyes started to glow again. She tried to break free of the threads that bound her, but they were too tightly wrapped around her body that she couldn't generate enough force to break free.
"Oh? You're already awake?"
Mira heard a familiar voice, looked over, and saw Ryuu walking toward her.
She ignored his question and stared into his eyes, getting more and more agitated as the seconds ticked by.
"What… did you do to me?" She said in a low voice, trying to contain the emotions that were spilling over.
Ryuu just shrugged, "For some reason, you went insane. Tying you up was the only way to stop you from going berserk."
He brought his face a little closer to hers but kept his distance as he didn't feel like getting his chest caved in a second time.
"Now, are you going to go crazy again, or have you finally regained a semblance of sanity?" He asked, but his words caused Mira's frown to deepen.
"...Crazy? What are you talking about?" Mira questioned. She had no memory of what she had done ever since the last Hell of Weakness trial started. All she could remember was that her suppressed emotions rampaged through her mind in one second, and in the next, she lost consciousness.
Everything after that was a blur.
"I don't know," Ryuu shook his head, "Master and I found you not too long ago, killing everything in sight. We were going to leave you alone, but when we noticed you were heading toward a city, Master felt we had to stop you."
He and Master Izaria were as equally confused about the situation, if not more than Mira!
"I see…" Mira muttered. She wasn't too surprised by this, but knowing that her body was moving on its own without her permission, left her feeling a bit disgruntled. However, that feeling quickly evolved into something more due to the amplification of emotions.
Noticing that Mira was quickly reverting to what he termed "demon mode," Ryuu swiftly appeared behind her.
"Nuh-uh. I won't let you do that." He chopped her neck a few times, knocking her out, "When you wake up again, try and control yourself. We can talk after that."
That was the last thing Mira heard before everything went black.
However, she woke up a dozen seconds later because her strength and regeneration were so high.
'Hmmm?' Mira frowned again but wasn't as confused as before. Thus, not wanting to waste her time questioning Ryuu, she closed her eyes and began meditating.
'I have to find a way to control myself, or else this will never end!'
Mira had a premonition that if she didn't learn to control her emotions, she'd be nothing more than a bloodthirsty demon for the rest of her life until she was eventually killed.
A shiver ran down her spine when her thoughts reached this point.
'I can't die just yet! I still have things I need to do before that happens!'
'I will not waste this life away because I couldn't control myself!'
A burning determination burned within her while she focused all of her attention on her mind, and once she did, she froze.
'Wh-What the hell is all this?!' Mira gaped, hardly believing what was going on.
Her mind was nothing more than a jumbled-up mess right now! Nothing was where it was supposed to be, and it wasn't just her emotions that were affected by it! Although they might be the cause of the issue, everything else, such as ALL her past experiences, was tangled up!
'No wonder I can't control myself! Since my pent-up emotions were released, they wreaked havoc on my mind, causing everything to go out of order.'
If she were to paint a picture of her mind right now, it would look like a house that just got destroyed by a tornado.
The roof was missing, the walls were torn up, the rooms weren't separated, and everything inside was either missing or destroyed. Nothing was where it was supposed to be, nor was there any semblance of control or order—just a whirlwind of emotions that kept rampaging about, further destroying the house that is her mind.
'First order of business is to calm down this tornado,' Mira thought and edged her consciousness toward it. Once the two made contact, her mind was instantly consumed by the near-endless torrent of rage.
"Keuk!" Mira gritted her teeth, her eyes slowly shining a deeper shade of crimson.
Her blood-red eyes swiveled to Ryuu. Feeling her control slip away, she yelled, "Knock me out!"
"Eh?" Ryuu answered dumbly, but Mira wasn't in the mood for his shenanigans.
"Knock me out, you dumbass!"
"Eh? A-Ah! Al-Alright…" Ryuu fumbled his words but quickly appeared behind her, giving her another few chops on the neck.
Afterward, he stared at Mira, flabbergasted and confused as to what was going on, but he felt that things were moving in the right direction, so he opted not to interfere.
A few seconds later, she awoke and did the same thing again. She ignored Ryuu's questioning gaze and focused on trying to quell her rage. Although there were many other emotions, feelings, and desires mixed in, that was the primary element that was making her lose control.
Her consciousness touched that tornado, which was smaller by maybe a millimeter than before, and let the rage flow through her, quickly losing control again.
However, this time, she managed to keep her sanity for a fraction of a second longer. It wasn't much progress, but it was progress nonetheless.
Ryuu, then, had to give her another few chops on the back of her head to give her mind a good reset, only for her to restart the process.
This was the only short-term solution Mira could think of that could solve this issue of not being able to control her mind and body. She felt like there wasn't any other choice.
Perhaps she could sit down and talk it out with Ryuu, Master Izaria, Rhydian, or anyone that was around. She could share her life story and explain to them why she's so angry, like a therapy session.
But the thing is… she already knows what's wrong! She was of these pent-up emotions, this rage, since the very beginning.
One doesn't spend countless years alive, and who knows how many more dead, without understanding themselves on a fundamental level.
She knew she was broken. Hell, she even knew how to fix herself. She just couldn't.
She'd never feel complete unless she killed the man who drowned her life in sorrow.
However, that was impossible for her current self. So, all that anger, resentment, hatred, pain, and sorrow was left to fester and grow, resulting in what she was currently facing.
While these emotions have fueled her drive to get stronger and overcome any obstacle, there's only so much a person can take before it stops being a motivator and turns into something destructive.
'Thus, I can either unleash that destruction upon the world or on myself. Those are really my only two options. And since the former clearly didn't work, I can only go with the latter,' Mira thought before touching the tornado again.
Just as she was about to lose control of herself, she smiled, 'But this is also an opportunity. Since the walls have been torn down and everything is scattered, I get to build a new house. One that won't falter or shake, even if a god were to strike it down! One that will work at max efficiency all the time and can regulate my emotions, keeping them on track.'
She didn't know how she was going to do that, but that didn't matter right now because she still needed to gain control over her mind.
'Once the baleful tornado runs out of energy, I'll be able to move forward and plan for the next step. I just hope I don't run out of time and fail the Hell of Weakness before I can complete this trial.'
That was Mira's last thought before Ryuu knocked her unconscious again.
***
This carried on for many hours; Mira would wake up, meditate, go into "demon mode", then Ryuu would knock her unconscious.
Every time this happened, Mira would be a little less angry when she awoke and would stay conscious for just a bit longer. It wasn't much, but after a few hours, the results were noticeable. And after a day, Mira could stay awake for several minutes without losing control.
Then, four days passed by, and she could stay conscious without losing control, even after several hours.
However, she still wasn't finished, nor did all that rage disappear. No, it was still there; Mira had just forced out all the excess energy. Now was the time to put everything in order and complete this trial!
"Ugh" Mira grunted, her eyes slowly opening. She was about to ask, "What happened?" but immediately stopped when she felt that her body was restricted.A deep frown formed on her face, and her eyes started to glow again. She tried to break free of the threads that bound her, but they were too tightly wrapped around her body that she couldn't generate enough force to break free."Oh? You're already awake?"Mira heard a familiar voice, looked over, and saw Ryuu walking toward her.She ignored his question and stared into his eyes, getting more and more agitated as the seconds ticked by."What did you do to me?" She said in a low voice, trying to contain the emotions that were spilling over.Ryuu just shrugged, "For some reason, you went insane. Tying you up was the only way to stop you from going berserk."He brought his face a little closer to hers but kept his distance as he didn't feel like getting his chest caved in a second time."Now, are you going to go crazy again, or have you finally regained a semblance of sanity?" He asked, but his words caused Mira's frown to deepen."...Crazy? What are you talking about?" Mira questioned. She had no memory of what she had done ever since the last Hell of Weakness trial started. All she could remember was that her suppressed emotions rampaged through her mind in one second, and in the next, she lost consciousness.Everything after that was a blur."I don't know," Ryuu shook his head, "Master and I found you not too long ago, killing everything in sight. We were going to leave you alone, but when we noticed you were heading toward a city, Master felt we had to stop you."He and Master Izaria were as equally confused about the situation, if not more than Mira!"I see" Mira muttered. She wasn't too surprised by this, but knowing that her body was moving on its own without her permission, left her feeling a bit disgruntled. However, that feeling quickly evolved into something more due to the amplification of emotions.Noticing that Mira was quickly reverting to what he termed "demon mode," Ryuu swiftly appeared behind her."Nuh-uh. I won't let you do that." He chopped her neck a few times, knocking her out, "When you wake up again, try and control yourself. We can talk after that."That was the last thing Mira heard before everything went black.However, she woke up a dozen seconds later because her strength and regeneration were so high.'Hmmm?' Mira frowned again but wasn't as confused as before. Thus, not wanting to waste her time questioning Ryuu, she closed her eyes and began meditating.'I have to find a way to control myself, or else this will never end!'Mira had a premonition that if she didn't learn to control her emotions, she'd be nothing more than a bloodthirsty demon for the rest of her life until she was eventually killed.A shiver ran down her spine when her thoughts reached this point.'I can't die just yet! I still have things I need to do before that happens!''I will not waste this life away because I couldn't control myself!'A burning determination burned within her while she focused all of her attention on her mind, and once she did, she froze.'Wh-What the hell is all this?!' Mira gaped, hardly believing what was going on.Her mind was nothing more than a jumbled-up mess right now! Nothing was where it was supposed to be, and it wasn't just her emotions that were affected by it! Although they might be the cause of the issue, everything else, such as ALL her past experiences, was tangled up!'No wonder I can't control myself! Since my pent-up emotions were released, they wreaked havoc on my mind, causing everything to go out of order.'If she were to paint a picture of her mind right now, it would look like a house that just got destroyed by a tornado.The roof was missing, the walls were torn up, the rooms weren't separated, and everything inside was either missing or destroyed. Nothing was where it was supposed to be, nor was there any semblance of control or orderjust a whirlwind of emotions that kept rampaging about, further destroying the house that is her mind.'First order of business is to calm down this tornado,' Mira thought and edged her consciousness toward it. Once the two made contact, her mind was instantly consumed by the near-endless torrent of rage."Keuk!" Mira gritted her teeth, her eyes slowly shining a deeper shade of crimson.Her blood-red eyes swiveled to Ryuu. Feeling her control slip away, she yelled, "Knock me out!""Eh?" Ryuu answered dumbly, but Mira wasn't in the mood for his shenanigans."Knock me out, you dumbass!""Eh? A-Ah! Al-Alright" Ryuu fumbled his words but quickly appeared behind her, giving her another few chops on the neck.Afterward, he stared at Mira, flabbergasted and confused as to what was going on, but he felt that things were moving in the right direction, so he opted not to interfere.A few seconds later, she awoke and did the same thing again. She ignored Ryuu's questioning gaze and focused on trying to quell her rage. Although there were many other emotions, feelings, and desires mixed in, that was the primary element that was making her lose control.Her consciousness touched that tornado, which was smaller by maybe a millimeter than before, and let the rage flow through her, quickly losing control again.However, this time, she managed to keep her sanity for a fraction of a second longer. It wasn't much progress, but it was progress nonetheless.Ryuu, then, had to give her another few chops on the back of her head to give her mind a good reset, only for her to restart the process.This was the only short-term solution Mira could think of that could solve this issue of not being able to control her mind and body. She felt like there wasn't any other choice.Perhaps she could sit down and talk it out with Ryuu, Master Izaria, Rhydian, or anyone that was around. She could share her life story and explain to them why she's so angry, like a therapy session.But the thing is she already knows what's wrong! She was of these pent-up emotions, this rage, since the very beginning.One doesn't spend countless years alive, and who knows how many more dead, without understanding themselves on a fundamental level.She knew she was broken. Hell, she even knew how to fix herself. She just couldn't.She'd never feel complete unless she killed the man who drowned her life in sorrow.However, that was impossible for her current self. So, all that anger, resentment, hatred, pain, and sorrow was left to fester and grow, resulting in what she was currently facing.While these emotions have fueled her drive to get stronger and overcome any obstacle, there's only so much a person can take before it stops being a motivator and turns into something destructive.'Thus, I can either unleash that destruction upon the world or on myself. Those are really my only two options. And since the former clearly didn't work, I can only go with the latter,' Mira thought before touching the tornado again.Just as she was about to lose control of herself, she smiled, 'But this is also an opportunity. Since the walls have been torn down and everything is scattered, I get to build a new house. One that won't falter or shake, even if a god were to strike it down! One that will work at max efficiency all the time and can regulate my emotions, keeping them on track.'She didn't know how she was going to do that, but that didn't matter right now because she still needed to gain control over her mind.'Once the baleful tornado runs out of energy, I'll be able to move forward and plan for the next step. I just hope I don't run out of time and fail the Hell of Weakness before I can complete this trial.'That was Mira's last thought before Ryuu knocked her unconscious again.***This carried on for many hours; Mira would wake up, meditate, go into "demon mode", then Ryuu would knock her unconscious.Every time this happened, Mira would be a little less angry when she awoke and would stay conscious for just a bit longer. It wasn't much, but after a few hours, the results were noticeable. And after a day, Mira could stay awake for several minutes without losing control.Then, four days passed by, and she could stay conscious without losing control, even after several hours.However, she still wasn't finished, nor did all that rage disappear. No, it was still there; Mira had just forced out all the excess energy. Now was the time to put everything in order and complete this trial!
