Yvonne eventually does the same, wiggling closer and laying back on the rocks as if she wants to see what I’m looking at. Her closeness makes my chest tight, but there’s no reason to move away, so I focus on keeping still.
“It’s beautiful here,” she murmurs, pointing to a passing streak of light so fast it must be a star. “I could live here. I wish we could stay longer.”
“Everything’s a risk right now. Including staying here.”
“I know, I know, I’m just talking.”
Her words remind me of what I’ve been turning over and over in my brain all day. “What do you think about Zane wanting to go home?”
“Me? You’re asking me for advice on this?”
I shrug, then wince when one of my various bruises drags against the stone. “You’re as close to an impartial third party as I can get.”
“I guess…” she says, then frowns a little. “I get why Zane wants to, and I get why you don’t want to. But I suppose as long as their parents understand you don’t remember anything and we’re going to find someone to test your DNA I don’t suppose there’s much harm. No more harm than Lalia and Zane sticking with you all this time. Maybe Zane’s right, maybe you’ll remember something.”
“Only if I’m who they think I am.”
“Do you believe you are?”
Rough question. No matter how much I turn it over in my mind, I’m never quite clear about my opinion one way or another. “I don’t know.”
“No gut feeling?”
“I don’t think I can trust it. My gut feeling, in the beginning, was that they were crazy. My gut feeling now is that they’re right. Hardly something to go on.”
She nods. “I don’t think I can help. But if I were you I’d be dying of curiosity to go to Hytha.”
It is driving me a little insane. Though Zar is only a few days flight past Hytha, I can’t help my curiosity. It would be so easy just to stop by for a day or two. Wander around, talk to the siblings’ parents, see if I remember anything. I got used to the idea of not having a family, of no one wanting me, ages ago. It wouldn’t be too terribly difficult to meet their parents, would it? Not if it’s been made clear we don’t know my DNA yet.
“Maybe,” I say, letting out a long sigh. “It’s kinda hard telling Zane no right now. He almost died, and they lost their ship. He’s asking to stop by their home. It’s not much.”
“Give it another day or two. Maybe a little time to emotionally recover from all the drama will help.”
“Maybe,” I agree. I already feel a little stabler than yesterday. Maybe everything will become clear with more time.
And maybe a better night’s sleep than last.
Which reminds me. “Do you want something?”
“Huh?”
Maybe this wasn’t the best time to ask or bring this up, but Lalia’s no help, and I might as well ask. “You seem like you want something out of me, and I’d rather you just tell me because I’m really not good at the whole human hinting at what they want thing.”
She rolls onto her side, head on her curled arm, and blinks at me. “Why do you think I want something?”
I can feel how close she is to me, the heat from her arm an inch from mine, and I try to ignore it. “Well, you’ve been acting a little…odd. Since everything that happened on Amerov.”
“Odd,” she repeats but doesn’t look insulted.
“Yes, odd.”
She giggles. “I think the phrase you’re looking for is not a bitch.”
“Like I said. Odd.”
She flicks me on the cheek. “I’m not manipulating you, Aaron, if that’s what you’re on about. If I wanted something, you’d know. I’m not exactly subtle if you haven’t noticed.”
She’s got me there. It would be quite the switch-up of tactics if she were trying to trick me into something. The last time she wanted something, she was loud, obvious, and aggressive about it. Now, she’s just…nice. Which is more concerning in an entirely different sense.
“So you’re telling me there’s not a single thing going on here. Nothing you want?”
She twists her lips. “Well, I wouldn’t say nothing. But I’m not tricking you.”
“What do you want?”
She stares at me for a long minute. I force myself not to be uncomfortable, not to snap at her to just explain already. We’re having a conversation about it, so hopefully, she’ll just tell me.
She chews on her lip, suddenly looking as embarrassed as I feel, muttering, “Okay, wow. You do not take a hint.”
“I really don’t know why you’re surprised by that. Did you really think hinting at something was going to do the trick? That was a bit of a bad plan on multiple levels—”
She leans over, cups her hand against my face, and, before I can wrap my brain around the strange gesture, gives me a kiss.
What?
“Was that a better hint?” she murmurs, leaving her face mere inches from mine, expression utterly embarrassed even in the dark.
I blink at her. She blinks back in dramatic fashion. “Aaron, you look alarmed and that’s scaring me a little.”
“Um…” I manage.
She giggles again, covering her face with her hands, “Oh no. Aaron, you’re killing me.”
I have no idea what I’m supposed to say. That’s why she’s being nice? I doubt it. But Lalia seemed to think it was funny. She’d definitely find it funny if Yvonne’s been flirting with me and I didn’t realize. There’s no way…
No way.
“You think I’m scaring you?” I manage. Something about speaking makes my face even hotter, my heart pounding.
She giggles again, peeking through her fingers at me. “Either I’m bad at flirting or you’re bad at, well…”
“Being human?”
She drops her hand, leaving the other on her forehead, looking a little like she wants to die. Well, that makes two of us.
“I can’t tell if you’re good stunned or bad stunned.”
I stare at her.
“Aaron, I just kissed you, can you please give me an indication of whether or not I made an idiot of myself?”
Well, I certainly have. But her? I don’t know, because I simply don’t understand. I hadn’t considered this. Definitely hadn’t expected it. Sure, I feel safer with her than I have with most anyone, but that’s just…well, I don’t know what that is.
A little frightening.
For no good reason, I find myself saying, “No one’s ever liked me.”
I clamp my jaw shut. Get a grip and learn how to keep your mouth shut, Aaron.
Her embarrassed look drops. She considers me for a moment, then says so quietly even my ears barely pick it up, “I like you.”
My chest hurts. I don’t know what to say. What do I say? Weirdly enough, I don’t think she’s lying. She looks too downright embarrassed by my reaction to be lying. Her expression is too open and honest. I could be wrong, I’m terrible at reading people, but I’ve seen her lie before, and this isn’t what it looked like. It’s not what it looked like at all.
And I can’t imagine what would make her want to manipulate me enough she’s think kissing my face was her best option.
Then again, I don’t know why she’d like looking at my face at all.
I touch her cheek. I’ve never done so and am not really sure why I’ve decided to now. Even with the ruined skin on my fingers, she feels warm, much softer and smoother than my own face. She doesn’t flinch from my touch, just rests her cheek into my palm, taking this as an invitation to put her fingers back on my own face. She avoids the injuries along my temple, touching various scars and the places where my skin buckles against metal.
“Does this hurt?” she asks, and I shake my head. It might, but not with how gentle she’s being.
She presses a soft kiss to my bottom lip. I force myself to relax, too nervous to really kiss back, not that I’d be any good at it. When she raises her face enough to look at me, she offers a shy smile. Her own nervous eyes are the only thing stopping me from making a run for it. Playing with a strand of my hair, she looks at the implants alongside my eyes.
“Can you see me?” she asks.
My voice sounds far away, strange. “Just your shape, it’s dark out. And your heat signature.”
She laughs softly. Then touches her lips to the corner of my eye, in the corner against my nose. I don’t know how to respond, but she’s incredibly gentle, her touch warm, and I don’t really want to push her away.
“Is this okay?” she asks, touching small kisses to various other parts of my face. Chills run down my skin.
“Yes,” I say, ignoring how my voice shakes.
I feel as if I’m not doing it correctly, but I turn my face until I can kiss her in return. She doesn’t pull away, doesn’t laugh. Carefully, I put my hand on her waist, and she doesn’t push it away.
Sighing, she rests her forehead against mine, then lays her head against my chest, still half on top of me. I don’t know what to do, but she seems happy enough, and I don’t mind the embrace. It’s nice. Unfamiliar, but comforting. I wrap my other arm a bit more around her so her shoulder doesn’t lean too hard against the rocks.
“I could stay here forever, I think,” she says.
I think I could as well.
Yvonne eventually does the same, wiggling closer and laying back on the rocks as if she wants to see what I’m looking at. Her closeness makes my chest tight, but there’s no reason to move away, so I focus on keeping still.
“It’s beautiful here,” she murmurs, pointing to a passing streak of light so fast it must be a star. “I could live here. I wish we could stay longer.”
“Everything’s a risk right now. Including staying here.”
“I know, I know, I’m just talking.”
Her words remind me of what I’ve been turning over and over in my brain all day. “What do you think about Zane wanting to go home?”
“Me? You’re asking me for advice on this?”
I shrug, then wince when one of my various bruises drags against the stone. “You’re as close to an impartial third party as I can get.”
“I guess…” she says, then frowns a little. “I get why Zane wants to, and I get why you don’t want to. But I suppose as long as their parents understand you don’t remember anything and we’re going to find someone to test your DNA I don’t suppose there’s much harm. No more harm than Lalia and Zane sticking with you all this time. Maybe Zane’s right, maybe you’ll remember something.”
“Only if I’m who they think I am.”
“Do you believe you are?”
Rough question. No matter how much I turn it over in my mind, I’m never quite clear about my opinion one way or another. “I don’t know.”
“No gut feeling?”
“I don’t think I can trust it. My gut feeling, in the beginning, was that they were crazy. My gut feeling now is that they’re right. Hardly something to go on.”
She nods. “I don’t think I can help. But if I were you I’d be dying of curiosity to go to Hytha.”
It is driving me a little insane. Though Zar is only a few days flight past Hytha, I can’t help my curiosity. It would be so easy just to stop by for a day or two. Wander around, talk to the siblings’ parents, see if I remember anything. I got used to the idea of not having a family, of no one wanting me, ages ago. It wouldn’t be too terribly difficult to meet their parents, would it? Not if it’s been made clear we don’t know my DNA yet.
“Maybe,” I say, letting out a long sigh. “It’s kinda hard telling Zane no right now. He almost died, and they lost their ship. He’s asking to stop by their home. It’s not much.”
“Give it another day or two. Maybe a little time to emotionally recover from all the drama will help.”
“Maybe,” I agree. I already feel a little stabler than yesterday. Maybe everything will become clear with more time.
And maybe a better night’s sleep than last.
Which reminds me. “Do you want something?”
“Huh?”
Maybe this wasn’t the best time to ask or bring this up, but Lalia’s no help, and I might as well ask. “You seem like you want something out of me, and I’d rather you just tell me because I’m really not good at the whole human hinting at what they want thing.”
She rolls onto her side, head on her curled arm, and blinks at me. “Why do you think I want something?”
I can feel how close she is to me, the heat from her arm an inch from mine, and I try to ignore it. “Well, you’ve been acting a little…odd. Since everything that happened on Amerov.”
“Odd,” she repeats but doesn’t look insulted.
“Yes, odd.”
She giggles. “I think the phrase you’re looking for is not a bitch.”
“Like I said. Odd.”
She flicks me on the cheek. “I’m not manipulating you, Aaron, if that’s what you’re on about. If I wanted something, you’d know. I’m not exactly subtle if you haven’t noticed.”
She’s got me there. It would be quite the switch-up of tactics if she were trying to trick me into something. The last time she wanted something, she was loud, obvious, and aggressive about it. Now, she’s just…nice. Which is more concerning in an entirely different sense.
“So you’re telling me there’s not a single thing going on here. Nothing you want?”
She twists her lips. “Well, I wouldn’t say nothing. But I’m not tricking you.”
“What do you want?”
She stares at me for a long minute. I force myself not to be uncomfortable, not to snap at her to just explain already. We’re having a conversation about it, so hopefully, she’ll just tell me.
She chews on her lip, suddenly looking as embarrassed as I feel, muttering, “Okay, wow. You do not take a hint.”
“I really don’t know why you’re surprised by that. Did you really think hinting at something was going to do the trick? That was a bit of a bad plan on multiple levels—”
She leans over, cups her hand against my face, and, before I can wrap my brain around the strange gesture, gives me a kiss.
What?
“Was that a better hint?” she murmurs, leaving her face mere inches from mine, expression utterly embarrassed even in the dark.
I blink at her. She blinks back in dramatic fashion. “Aaron, you look alarmed and that’s scaring me a little.”
“Um…” I manage.
She giggles again, covering her face with her hands, “Oh no. Aaron, you’re killing me.”
I have no idea what I’m supposed to say. That’s why she’s being nice? I doubt it. But Lalia seemed to think it was funny. She’d definitely find it funny if Yvonne’s been flirting with me and I didn’t realize. There’s no way…
No way.
“You think I’m scaring you?” I manage. Something about speaking makes my face even hotter, my heart pounding.
She giggles again, peeking through her fingers at me. “Either I’m bad at flirting or you’re bad at, well…”
“Being human?”
She drops her hand, leaving the other on her forehead, looking a little like she wants to die. Well, that makes two of us.
“I can’t tell if you’re good stunned or bad stunned.”
I stare at her.
“Aaron, I just kissed you, can you please give me an indication of whether or not I made an idiot of myself?”
Well, I certainly have. But her? I don’t know, because I simply don’t understand. I hadn’t considered this. Definitely hadn’t expected it. Sure, I feel safer with her than I have with most anyone, but that’s just…well, I don’t know what that is.
A little frightening.
For no good reason, I find myself saying, “No one’s ever liked me.”
I clamp my jaw shut. Get a grip and learn how to keep your mouth shut, Aaron.
Her embarrassed look drops. She considers me for a moment, then says so quietly even my ears barely pick it up, “I like you.”
My chest hurts. I don’t know what to say. What do I say? Weirdly enough, I don’t think she’s lying. She looks too downright embarrassed by my reaction to be lying. Her expression is too open and honest. I could be wrong, I’m terrible at reading people, but I’ve seen her lie before, and this isn’t what it looked like. It’s not what it looked like at all.
And I can’t imagine what would make her want to manipulate me enough she’s think kissing my face was her best option.
Then again, I don’t know why she’d like looking at my face at all.
I touch her cheek. I’ve never done so and am not really sure why I’ve decided to now. Even with the ruined skin on my fingers, she feels warm, much softer and smoother than my own face. She doesn’t flinch from my touch, just rests her cheek into my palm, taking this as an invitation to put her fingers back on my own face. She avoids the injuries along my temple, touching various scars and the places where my skin buckles against metal.
“Does this hurt?” she asks, and I shake my head. It might, but not with how gentle she’s being.
She presses a soft kiss to my bottom lip. I force myself to relax, too nervous to really kiss back, not that I’d be any good at it. When she raises her face enough to look at me, she offers a shy smile. Her own nervous eyes are the only thing stopping me from making a run for it. Playing with a strand of my hair, she looks at the implants alongside my eyes.
“Can you see me?” she asks.
My voice sounds far away, strange. “Just your shape, it’s dark out. And your heat signature.”
She laughs softly. Then touches her lips to the corner of my eye, in the corner against my nose. I don’t know how to respond, but she’s incredibly gentle, her touch warm, and I don’t really want to push her away.
“Is this okay?” she asks, touching small kisses to various other parts of my face. Chills run down my skin.
“Yes,” I say, ignoring how my voice shakes.
I feel as if I’m not doing it correctly, but I turn my face until I can kiss her in return. She doesn’t pull away, doesn’t laugh. Carefully, I put my hand on her waist, and she doesn’t push it away.
Sighing, she rests her forehead against mine, then lays her head against my chest, still half on top of me. I don’t know what to do, but she seems happy enough, and I don’t mind the embrace. It’s nice. Unfamiliar, but comforting. I wrap my other arm a bit more around her so her shoulder doesn’t lean too hard against the rocks.
“I could stay here forever, I think,” she says.
I think I could as well.
