189. “Really hard indeed.”
When Arima and Night returned to Mars, Layla and Karma gasped in surprise. Their new appearance was not something they could have prepared for. They knew that there would be some changes but they didn’t expect something so drastic. After all, it was nothing new; breakthroughs always ended up with physical changes.
Jin squinted his eyes to observe Arima before laughing. He looked down at his body and managed to gather enough strength to stand up. Although he was far past a hundred years old, he was still one of the enhanced soldiers that brought Aurorae to its current glory.
He inhaled and walked toward Arima. "Glad to have you back," he said as he extended his hand.
Arima snickered. He grabbed the hand and hugged his brother in arms.
"It’s only now that you say that?" He said and tapped Jin's back as he brought him back to his wheelchair.
"What? Did you want me to say it while you were still an overgrown lizard?" Jin retorted as he sat down again.
"Hey, I take offense in that. But that's indeed a weird disposition."
"Who is that?" Jin pointed at Night with his chin. The latter was slowly backing away from Karma who was dangerously leering and approaching. Night seemed to have taken Jin's question as an opportunity and teleported right next to Arima.
"I'm Night Bahamut. Arima's partner. Pleased to meet you," he introduced himself and bowed slightly.
Jin observed him from head to toe. "You look like Arima in the old days," he remarked and Night tilted his head. "Before, Arima definitely wasn't as composed as he is now. He was a lot more hot-blooded during the old days. I kinda feel the same thing from you," Jin explained and Layla hummed while looking at Night.
"Well, you're a lot colder than before though," Jin followed as he turned toward Arima. The latter's eyes widened and Jin smiled. "But you're also weirdly cheerier. I seriously wonder what happened to you. You talked about a time shift, how old are you right now? I can't tell at all."
Arima smiled wryly. After all this time, he had forgotten that he went back from an old man to a twenty-year-old when he was transmigrated by Azes. Of course, Jin wouldn't get his age by his appearance alone.
"All right, do you want the bullshit version or the absurd one?"
"Which one is the truth?"
Arima shrugged. “Both.”
"I'll go with the absurd one then."
"Quantitatively, I'm 5.6 billion years old," when he said that, Jin fell silent and every soldier listening blanked. Some of them even had an expression saying 'Is he crazy?'. Some even went as far as saying it out loud. Jin appeared calm on the surface but he was holding his words back.
"Arima, are you actually messing with me? Five billion is already more than the age of the Earth" But he responded with something a lot nicer than what he had in mind.
"Quantitatively," Arima reiterated. "The memories I have and my knowledge only amount to around half a billion. But my actual personality didn’t change or anything."
"That's still more than twice the age of the human race… in this world at least," Jin muttered as he rubbed his temples. "What's the bullshit answer by the way?"
"Older than you," Arima deadpanned and Jin laughed.
"That's indeed some bull you're saying there," Jin cackled for a moment then stared at Arima with a mock-serious expression. "Okay, there’s only one thing I want to ask you now; can you make me young again?"
The only answer Jin got was a full-blown laugh.
***
"It didn't change much since then, huh?" Arima commented as he walked through the streets of the capital which had been named after his organization.
"Well, a few years isn’t really enough to bring about any groundbreaking revolution," Jin replied as his wheelchair was being pushed by his personal attendant, who was also his maid and nurse at the same time. "In the first place, you were the one who banned the distribution and manufacture of Eion devices for the general public."
Arima shrugged. "Of course, we couldn't have kept the peace otherwise. But we should have been able to give it back to the world in a few decades, as I had planned.”
"Yeah, I remember that was on your little message," Jin snickered. "Haze and I freaked out when we saw what you had written in that letter. It was scary as hell, you know? It felt like you had predicted everything that was going to happen. Well, except the whole magical thing."
"I just considered how people would react and act. There’s nothing scary about that."
Jin sighed. "You don't even realize how terrifying that was for us."
Meanwhile, Night, Layla, and Karma were following the two, not even daring to intrude in their conversation. Instead, Night and Karma were listening to Layla's story through telepathy. She was briefly narrating them what Arima had done during his life.
"{I see. I understand better now,}" Night was relieved of his curiosity, and Karma nodded.
"{Yeah. So, Arima conquered an entire planet while he was still a normal human, huh?}"
Layla giggled."{Well, ‘normal’ might be slightly inaccurate.}"
"{Good point,}" Karma and Night affirmed simultaneously.
"Now that we're on the topic, how’s Haze? Is he still alive?" Arima asked Jin after waving his hand at the elderly people who had recognized him on the streets.
"No," Jin solemnly answered.
"I see… What about Moria and the rest of the squad?"
"Moria passed away two years ago. You completely vanished seven years ago," Jin snorted. "Well, you were basically dead even before that though. It's the first time I see you in person since you left, which was 80 years ago… I'm still wondering what you did after you gave your Empire to Haze," Jin glanced at Arima and sighed.
"Anyway, most of the other members are still alive and kicking. Do you want to go see them?" Jin inquired and Arima shook his head.
"I have somewhere else to go first," he stated with a dark tone and Jin fell silent. Arima stopped walking and so did everyone else. His eyes glowed and everyone was teleported by him without even bothering hiding it from the pedestrians.
Before they knew it, they were standing in front of a steel gate leading to a private cemetery. Jin closed his eyes and sighed again. "I've haven’t come here in years," he murmured and Arima wordlessly jumped over the gate.
Jin wasn't surprised by this supernatural stuff anymore but the maid was staring with a stiffened expression. "Don't be too surprised," Jin smiled. "He could do that even when we were still serving together," he told and the woman behind him shuddered at the thought.
She had only heard about Arima's name and feats from history books. Just seeing him as a young adult was already shocking for her since she wasn't even born when Arima founded Aurorae. But now, she even had to put up with this kind of unbelievable sight.
Jin snickered and signaled her to approach the gate. He placed his hand on the cold steel gate and it reacted to his touch before opening automatically. "Why did you not follow him?" He turned toward Night's group and asked. "Especially you," he directed that at Layla.
Layla breathed in and shook her head. "He deserves to be alone for a few minutes. We don't need to follow him so quickly."
"Likewise," Night agreed calmly.
"Same," Karma nodded.
"A good team," Jin chuckled before going inside the cemetery. Everyone followed just after. They walked through the tombs for a few minutes then finally reached Arima's location. They found him sitting cross-legged in front of two big headstones.
When Layla read the names on those stones, her heart felt like it was being squeezed. She wasn't the only one though, even Night and Karma felt strangely melancholic and anxious. The names engraved there were forever preserved in Arima's mind. This was passed down to Night and Karma without even them knowing it.
Arima had his eyes closed as if he was meditating. 'Tieria Walker' and 'Scathach Blade'; he was serenely calling these two names inside his head. Even Malum was forced to wake up because of that. After all, in a sense, he was born from the death of those two girls.
Arima wasn't just there to pay respect. If it was only that, he could have done it during the 80 years he was staying incognito on Earth. He had come there for a simple reason. Too many things had happened to him. He wanted to see how sane his mind was. He wanted to confirm it; if he hadn't lost his humanity.
He merely wished to make sure of it one last time. And as he expected, nothing changed. He was still in pain. He had now ended the life of the one responsible for their death, but that fact never changed anything about his suffering nor will it ever do.
Sorrow always comes to you in two parts; hatred and pain. The two form an equilibrium and if one disappears, the other takes place.
You harbor hatred for what robbed you of your happiness and you experience pain for your loss. Human minds are simple, they will always choose to escape the pain and try to find refuge in something that they believe will make them feel better.
Once you forget the pain, you focus back on hatred and seek what people call revenge.
Many like to say that it doesn't mean anything; that nothing can be resolved with it. But those are the words of a hypocrite. If you truly understand it, you’d never try to take the hatred away from someone. It is the only thing shielding you from the pain.
But, in the end, you can't elude it forever and you will always have to face it one day as long as you want to continue looking forward. And revenge has always been the first stop of the road.
A long time ago, every time Arima looked at these tombs, the only thing he felt was frustration, and his anger would always take over. That's why he never visited again.
Now that he had gotten rid of the hatred, the balance became dominated by the pain. That's the only thing Arima had left. Revenge was never wrong. People may do it the wrong way, some may not understand why they're doing it, and others may even fail to comprehend how deep they've fallen.
But, at least, Arima knew since the beginning that he wouldn't be able to sit down like this, in this cemetery, without killing Karaskan first. Did he regret to have fled from this pain? No. He never did. Now, he could face it without regret and stop polluting his grief with hatred.
Jin, Layla, Night, and Karma watched silently. After ten minutes or so, the sky darkened and the rain fell. Night looked up and furrowed his eyebrows.
"This is…" Karma extended her hand and caught the drops with her palm.
"He's doing it unconsciously," Layla stated. "This rain is deeply connected to his mental state… Do you remember the rain that was pouring down in his Soul Manifestation? It was the same thing when he released his mana cores."
"One day, he chose to restrain the hatred and bury the pain. He stood two hours under this rain before making that decision," Layla told and everyone looked at her. Jin's eyes widened as he heard her words.
Layla bitterly smiled. "I only know about it from images and sounds… I have no idea of what went through his mind at the time," she added and the rain suddenly stopped but the clouds didn't go away.
Arima stood up and exhaled. He raised his hand and a dark aura swirled around it. Night's eyes narrowed and Layla abruptly became restless while Karma covered her mouth.
"Arima!" Night couldn't stay silent anymore.
"Really hard indeed," Arima's voice was serene but his left hand was shaking as the dark aura thickened. "I seriously wonder how I thought I could hold back," he uttered and Night's expression darkened.
"You know you can't do that," he said and Jin was now looking at him in confusion. "It’s only the fifth one, but also the worst taboo of them all. Especially in your situation. You set it yourself, don't you remember? The first rule you told me about when you created the Fifth Prohibited Art," Night stepped forward and raised his voice slightly.
"'You shall never resurrect based on your personal longings!"
189. “Really hard indeed.”
When Arima and Night returned to Mars, Layla and Karma gasped in surprise. Their new appearance was not something they could have prepared for. They knew that there would be some changes but they didn’t expect something so drastic. After all, it was nothing new; breakthroughs always ended up with physical changes.
Jin squinted his eyes to observe Arima before laughing. He looked down at his body and managed to gather enough strength to stand up. Although he was far past a hundred years old, he was still one of the enhanced soldiers that brought Aurorae to its current glory.
He inhaled and walked toward Arima. "Glad to have you back," he said as he extended his hand.
Arima snickered. He grabbed the hand and hugged his brother in arms.
"It’s only now that you say that?" He said and tapped Jin's back as he brought him back to his wheelchair.
"What? Did you want me to say it while you were still an overgrown lizard?" Jin retorted as he sat down again.
"Hey, I take offense in that. But that's indeed a weird disposition."
"Who is that?" Jin pointed at Night with his chin. The latter was slowly backing away from Karma who was dangerously leering and approaching. Night seemed to have taken Jin's question as an opportunity and teleported right next to Arima.
"I'm Night Bahamut. Arima's partner. Pleased to meet you," he introduced himself and bowed slightly.
Jin observed him from head to toe. "You look like Arima in the old days," he remarked and Night tilted his head. "Before, Arima definitely wasn't as composed as he is now. He was a lot more hot-blooded during the old days. I kinda feel the same thing from you," Jin explained and Layla hummed while looking at Night.
"Well, you're a lot colder than before though," Jin followed as he turned toward Arima. The latter's eyes widened and Jin smiled. "But you're also weirdly cheerier. I seriously wonder what happened to you. You talked about a time shift, how old are you right now? I can't tell at all."
Arima smiled wryly. After all this time, he had forgotten that he went back from an old man to a twenty-year-old when he was transmigrated by Azes. Of course, Jin wouldn't get his age by his appearance alone.
"All right, do you want the bullshit version or the absurd one?"
"Which one is the truth?"
Arima shrugged. “Both.”
"I'll go with the absurd one then."
"Quantitatively, I'm 5.6 billion years old," when he said that, Jin fell silent and every soldier listening blanked. Some of them even had an expression saying 'Is he crazy?'. Some even went as far as saying it out loud. Jin appeared calm on the surface but he was holding his words back.
"Arima, are you actually messing with me? Five billion is already more than the age of the Earth" But he responded with something a lot nicer than what he had in mind.
"Quantitatively," Arima reiterated. "The memories I have and my knowledge only amount to around half a billion. But my actual personality didn’t change or anything."
"That's still more than twice the age of the human race… in this world at least," Jin muttered as he rubbed his temples. "What's the bullshit answer by the way?"
"Older than you," Arima deadpanned and Jin laughed.
"That's indeed some bull you're saying there," Jin cackled for a moment then stared at Arima with a mock-serious expression. "Okay, there’s only one thing I want to ask you now; can you make me young again?"
The only answer Jin got was a full-blown laugh.
***
"It didn't change much since then, huh?" Arima commented as he walked through the streets of the capital which had been named after his organization.
"Well, a few years isn’t really enough to bring about any groundbreaking revolution," Jin replied as his wheelchair was being pushed by his personal attendant, who was also his maid and nurse at the same time. "In the first place, you were the one who banned the distribution and manufacture of Eion devices for the general public."
Arima shrugged. "Of course, we couldn't have kept the peace otherwise. But we should have been able to give it back to the world in a few decades, as I had planned.”
"Yeah, I remember that was on your little message," Jin snickered. "Haze and I freaked out when we saw what you had written in that letter. It was scary as hell, you know? It felt like you had predicted everything that was going to happen. Well, except the whole magical thing."
"I just considered how people would react and act. There’s nothing scary about that."
Jin sighed. "You don't even realize how terrifying that was for us."
Meanwhile, Night, Layla, and Karma were following the two, not even daring to intrude in their conversation. Instead, Night and Karma were listening to Layla's story through telepathy. She was briefly narrating them what Arima had done during his life.
"{I see. I understand better now,}" Night was relieved of his curiosity, and Karma nodded.
"{Yeah. So, Arima conquered an entire planet while he was still a normal human, huh?}"
Layla giggled."{Well, ‘normal’ might be slightly inaccurate.}"
"{Good point,}" Karma and Night affirmed simultaneously.
"Now that we're on the topic, how’s Haze? Is he still alive?" Arima asked Jin after waving his hand at the elderly people who had recognized him on the streets.
"No," Jin solemnly answered.
"I see… What about Moria and the rest of the squad?"
"Moria passed away two years ago. You completely vanished seven years ago," Jin snorted. "Well, you were basically dead even before that though. It's the first time I see you in person since you left, which was 80 years ago… I'm still wondering what you did after you gave your Empire to Haze," Jin glanced at Arima and sighed.
"Anyway, most of the other members are still alive and kicking. Do you want to go see them?" Jin inquired and Arima shook his head.
"I have somewhere else to go first," he stated with a dark tone and Jin fell silent. Arima stopped walking and so did everyone else. His eyes glowed and everyone was teleported by him without even bothering hiding it from the pedestrians.
Before they knew it, they were standing in front of a steel gate leading to a private cemetery. Jin closed his eyes and sighed again. "I've haven’t come here in years," he murmured and Arima wordlessly jumped over the gate.
Jin wasn't surprised by this supernatural stuff anymore but the maid was staring with a stiffened expression. "Don't be too surprised," Jin smiled. "He could do that even when we were still serving together," he told and the woman behind him shuddered at the thought.
She had only heard about Arima's name and feats from history books. Just seeing him as a young adult was already shocking for her since she wasn't even born when Arima founded Aurorae. But now, she even had to put up with this kind of unbelievable sight.
Jin snickered and signaled her to approach the gate. He placed his hand on the cold steel gate and it reacted to his touch before opening automatically. "Why did you not follow him?" He turned toward Night's group and asked. "Especially you," he directed that at Layla.
Layla breathed in and shook her head. "He deserves to be alone for a few minutes. We don't need to follow him so quickly."
"Likewise," Night agreed calmly.
"Same," Karma nodded.
"A good team," Jin chuckled before going inside the cemetery. Everyone followed just after. They walked through the tombs for a few minutes then finally reached Arima's location. They found him sitting cross-legged in front of two big headstones.
When Layla read the names on those stones, her heart felt like it was being squeezed. She wasn't the only one though, even Night and Karma felt strangely melancholic and anxious. The names engraved there were forever preserved in Arima's mind. This was passed down to Night and Karma without even them knowing it.
Arima had his eyes closed as if he was meditating. 'Tieria Walker' and 'Scathach Blade'; he was serenely calling these two names inside his head. Even Malum was forced to wake up because of that. After all, in a sense, he was born from the death of those two girls.
Arima wasn't just there to pay respect. If it was only that, he could have done it during the 80 years he was staying incognito on Earth. He had come there for a simple reason. Too many things had happened to him. He wanted to see how sane his mind was. He wanted to confirm it; if he hadn't lost his humanity.
He merely wished to make sure of it one last time. And as he expected, nothing changed. He was still in pain. He had now ended the life of the one responsible for their death, but that fact never changed anything about his suffering nor will it ever do.
Sorrow always comes to you in two parts; hatred and pain. The two form an equilibrium and if one disappears, the other takes place.
You harbor hatred for what robbed you of your happiness and you experience pain for your loss. Human minds are simple, they will always choose to escape the pain and try to find refuge in something that they believe will make them feel better.
Once you forget the pain, you focus back on hatred and seek what people call revenge.
Many like to say that it doesn't mean anything; that nothing can be resolved with it. But those are the words of a hypocrite. If you truly understand it, you’d never try to take the hatred away from someone. It is the only thing shielding you from the pain.
But, in the end, you can't elude it forever and you will always have to face it one day as long as you want to continue looking forward. And revenge has always been the first stop of the road.
A long time ago, every time Arima looked at these tombs, the only thing he felt was frustration, and his anger would always take over. That's why he never visited again.
Now that he had gotten rid of the hatred, the balance became dominated by the pain. That's the only thing Arima had left. Revenge was never wrong. People may do it the wrong way, some may not understand why they're doing it, and others may even fail to comprehend how deep they've fallen.
But, at least, Arima knew since the beginning that he wouldn't be able to sit down like this, in this cemetery, without killing Karaskan first. Did he regret to have fled from this pain? No. He never did. Now, he could face it without regret and stop polluting his grief with hatred.
Jin, Layla, Night, and Karma watched silently. After ten minutes or so, the sky darkened and the rain fell. Night looked up and furrowed his eyebrows.
"This is…" Karma extended her hand and caught the drops with her palm.
"He's doing it unconsciously," Layla stated. "This rain is deeply connected to his mental state… Do you remember the rain that was pouring down in his Soul Manifestation? It was the same thing when he released his mana cores."
"One day, he chose to restrain the hatred and bury the pain. He stood two hours under this rain before making that decision," Layla told and everyone looked at her. Jin's eyes widened as he heard her words.
Layla bitterly smiled. "I only know about it from images and sounds… I have no idea of what went through his mind at the time," she added and the rain suddenly stopped but the clouds didn't go away.
Arima stood up and exhaled. He raised his hand and a dark aura swirled around it. Night's eyes narrowed and Layla abruptly became restless while Karma covered her mouth.
"Arima!" Night couldn't stay silent anymore.
"Really hard indeed," Arima's voice was serene but his left hand was shaking as the dark aura thickened. "I seriously wonder how I thought I could hold back," he uttered and Night's expression darkened.
"You know you can't do that," he said and Jin was now looking at him in confusion. "It’s only the fifth one, but also the worst taboo of them all. Especially in your situation. You set it yourself, don't you remember? The first rule you told me about when you created the Fifth Prohibited Art," Night stepped forward and raised his voice slightly.
"'You shall never resurrect based on your personal longings!"
