Chapter 134: 134 A Soldier’s Heart
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134 A Soldier’s Heart
~ TARKYN ~
The next morning, Tarkyn was down in the valley alone, gathering wood. He’d gone an hour earlier, telling Harth he only intended to run a quick patrol, but the bond was too clear between them. She’d known he was struggling, but let him go.
He’d been too long in thought. He could feel her approaching, worry simmering in her chest. He’d worried her. Guilt washed over him.
He stooped to pick up another dry branch as he felt her draw close. When he stood and turned she was in front of him, watching him warily.
“Are you okay?” she asked quietly, already knowing the answer.
Tarkyn set down the bundle of sticks and dry brush, then ran a hand through his hair. He wasn’t quite sure what to say.
Was he good? No. But could he explain why? Not really.
It just happened sometimes. He’d gone to sleep the night before awash with joy and excitement for the bond and his mate and everything that was happening between them, his heart optimistic—he’d even spent some time thinking about how to approach Elreth about sending him to the Chimera before he slept…
Then he’d woken that morning tense. Breathing was difficult at times. His body humming with adrenaline as if an enemy watched his back. But there was none there.
.....
It wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling. Most soldiers he knew experienced it at times. And most of the time it would ease without intervention.
He only cursed that it happened now, when things were so beautiful around him.
“I’m going to be fine, Harth.”
She frowned. “Did I upset—”
“No, no, Love. No.” Cursing himself for his thoughtlessness, he stepped quickly forward and pulled her into his chest, holding her as she clung to his waist. “This is nothing to do with you. It’s an instinct. Something on the wind. As if my body senses danger, but my eyes and ears can’t identify it. I don’t know what makes it happen, but whenever it comes, it just makes me restless. It just happens sometimes without warning. I’m a male of action and when there’s nothing I can do it’s as if my body becomes… agitated.”
Harth sighed in his arms. She didn’t lift her head from his chest. “Do we need to go back to the Tree City?”
“No.” He wouldn’t say he hadn’t considered it. But he’d forced himself to look at the situation from all sides—the strategist. Not the male. “I’m confident Gar will let me know when the time is right to return. And I wouldn’t lose this time with you for the world, Harth. I’m so grateful that we have it. Who knows when we’ll get more? Honestly… I wish we could stay here forever.”
Harth did pull her head up to look at him then. “Except when you feel like you need to do something?”
Tarkyn chuckled. “Yes. that’s right.” He didn’t want to talk about it further—speaking of it only seemed to increase the feeling—so instead he pulled her hair aside and checked her wound where he had claimed her. She shivered when he brushed it with his fingers.
“Is that pain?” he asked, though he was fairly certain it wasn’t. He could feel the thrill in her belly.
“No,” she sighed, smiling. “It feels wonderful when you touch it. Whenever you touch it, it’s like my body comes alive. I feel you even more deeply.”
Tarkyn smiled genuinely then. Regardless of what else might be happening, he was so grateful for the link they shared. When he was agitated like this, he needed to be alone a lot. But the bond allowed him to not be torn, wondering if she was safe, or hurting. He’d been able to feel her for the last hour, knowing that she was content.
Except in her worry for him.
Worry that skated across her face behind the warm joy. “This isn’t normal, Tarkyn. Even for the newly mated,” she said quietly.
He nodded his head. “I know. This bond… something is different between us.”
“Does any of this seem normal for you? For the Anima?”
Tarkyn thought on it for a moment. “The focus… the single-mindedness for the other person. The desire. Those things are common and I’ve seen them at work. Our joy and desire for each other aren’t unique,” he smiled, winking at her. Harth’s cheeks flushed. “But not this ability to feel each other in such a tangible way. My friends have always described a feeling of being… united. Together with another. As if they’re a unit. And I feel that, too. But… this is more.”
Harth nodded “Our link seemed normal to me until you claimed me. Until then, I could sense the direction you were in when I concentrated. Speaking in your mind is very normal for wolves, especially among mates and family. And the desire, the unity, I feel that too. But there’s more now.”
“You can feel my heart? My mind?”
She nodded. “But even more than that, Tarkyn,” she whispered. Then to his surprise, she reached up to push back the neckline of his shirt and stroke the place where she had bitten him.
Her fingers there felt like feathers and ice, leaving his skin pebbled and his body trembling. He stifled a groan.
“That,” Harth whispered. “I can feel that. Feel your pleasure. It’s as if… when I touch that, or when you touch mine, it opens a link between us. Something even deeper—it’s like I’m inside your skin, Tarkyn. Now, when I don’t touch it, I can feel you—know if you’re hurt, or how you feel. But when you touch that… ”
Tarkyn nodded, he understood what she meant. Though he didn’t understand what purpose it would play in their lives. Except, perhaps, to increase pleasure.
“I keep wondering if this is what it means to be ardent… ” Harth mused.
“Sasha mentioned that word. What does it mean to you?”
Harth’s throat bobbed. “Ardent mates are vowed to each other to death.”
“I thought that was the Chimeran matebond?”
“Our bond drags us to death when one of us dies. Always. But it can take months, or even years. The Ardent bond is different again… your hearts beat together. If one stops… the other does too. Immediately.”
They looked at each other and Tarkyn’s breath almost stopped.
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134 A Soldier’s Heart
~ TARKYN ~
The next morning, Tarkyn was down in the valley alone, gathering wood. He’d gone an hour earlier, telling Harth he only intended to run a quick patrol, but the bond was too clear between them. She’d known he was struggling, but let him go.
He’d been too long in thought. He could feel her approaching, worry simmering in her chest. He’d worried her. Guilt washed over him.
He stooped to pick up another dry branch as he felt her draw close. When he stood and turned she was in front of him, watching him warily.
“Are you okay?” she asked quietly, already knowing the answer.
Tarkyn set down the bundle of sticks and dry brush, then ran a hand through his hair. He wasn’t quite sure what to say.
Was he good? No. But could he explain why? Not really.
It just happened sometimes. He’d gone to sleep the night before awash with joy and excitement for the bond and his mate and everything that was happening between them, his heart optimistic—he’d even spent some time thinking about how to approach Elreth about sending him to the Chimera before he slept…
Then he’d woken that morning tense. Breathing was difficult at times. His body humming with adrenaline as if an enemy watched his back. But there was none there.
.....
It wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling. Most soldiers he knew experienced it at times. And most of the time it would ease without intervention.
He only cursed that it happened now, when things were so beautiful around him.
“I’m going to be fine, Harth.”
She frowned. “Did I upset—”
“No, no, Love. No.” Cursing himself for his thoughtlessness, he stepped quickly forward and pulled her into his chest, holding her as she clung to his waist. “This is nothing to do with you. It’s an instinct. Something on the wind. As if my body senses danger, but my eyes and ears can’t identify it. I don’t know what makes it happen, but whenever it comes, it just makes me restless. It just happens sometimes without warning. I’m a male of action and when there’s nothing I can do it’s as if my body becomes… agitated.”
Harth sighed in his arms. She didn’t lift her head from his chest. “Do we need to go back to the Tree City?”
“No.” He wouldn’t say he hadn’t considered it. But he’d forced himself to look at the situation from all sides—the strategist. Not the male. “I’m confident Gar will let me know when the time is right to return. And I wouldn’t lose this time with you for the world, Harth. I’m so grateful that we have it. Who knows when we’ll get more? Honestly… I wish we could stay here forever.”
Harth did pull her head up to look at him then. “Except when you feel like you need to do something?”
Tarkyn chuckled. “Yes. that’s right.” He didn’t want to talk about it further—speaking of it only seemed to increase the feeling—so instead he pulled her hair aside and checked her wound where he had claimed her. She shivered when he brushed it with his fingers.
“Is that pain?” he asked, though he was fairly certain it wasn’t. He could feel the thrill in her belly.
“No,” she sighed, smiling. “It feels wonderful when you touch it. Whenever you touch it, it’s like my body comes alive. I feel you even more deeply.”
Tarkyn smiled genuinely then. Regardless of what else might be happening, he was so grateful for the link they shared. When he was agitated like this, he needed to be alone a lot. But the bond allowed him to not be torn, wondering if she was safe, or hurting. He’d been able to feel her for the last hour, knowing that she was content.
Except in her worry for him.
Worry that skated across her face behind the warm joy. “This isn’t normal, Tarkyn. Even for the newly mated,” she said quietly.
He nodded his head. “I know. This bond… something is different between us.”
“Does any of this seem normal for you? For the Anima?”
Tarkyn thought on it for a moment. “The focus… the single-mindedness for the other person. The desire. Those things are common and I’ve seen them at work. Our joy and desire for each other aren’t unique,” he smiled, winking at her. Harth’s cheeks flushed. “But not this ability to feel each other in such a tangible way. My friends have always described a feeling of being… united. Together with another. As if they’re a unit. And I feel that, too. But… this is more.”
Harth nodded “Our link seemed normal to me until you claimed me. Until then, I could sense the direction you were in when I concentrated. Speaking in your mind is very normal for wolves, especially among mates and family. And the desire, the unity, I feel that too. But there’s more now.”
“You can feel my heart? My mind?”
She nodded. “But even more than that, Tarkyn,” she whispered. Then to his surprise, she reached up to push back the neckline of his shirt and stroke the place where she had bitten him.
Her fingers there felt like feathers and ice, leaving his skin pebbled and his body trembling. He stifled a groan.
“That,” Harth whispered. “I can feel that. Feel your pleasure. It’s as if… when I touch that, or when you touch mine, it opens a link between us. Something even deeper—it’s like I’m inside your skin, Tarkyn. Now, when I don’t touch it, I can feel you—know if you’re hurt, or how you feel. But when you touch that… ”
Tarkyn nodded, he understood what she meant. Though he didn’t understand what purpose it would play in their lives. Except, perhaps, to increase pleasure.
“I keep wondering if this is what it means to be ardent… ” Harth mused.
“Sasha mentioned that word. What does it mean to you?”
Harth’s throat bobbed. “Ardent mates are vowed to each other to death.”
“I thought that was the Chimeran matebond?”
“Our bond drags us to death when one of us dies. Always. But it can take months, or even years. The Ardent bond is different again… your hearts beat together. If one stops… the other does too. Immediately.”
They looked at each other and Tarkyn’s breath almost stopped.
134 A Soldier's Heart~ TARKYN ~The next morning, Tarkyn was down in the valley alone, gathering wood. He'd gone an hour earlier, telling Harth he only intended to run a quick patrol, but the bond was too clear between them. She'd known he was struggling, but let him go.He'd been too long in thought. He could feel her approaching, worry simmering in her chest. He'd worried her. Guilt washed over him.He stooped to pick up another dry branch as he felt her draw close. When he stood and turned she was in front of him, watching him warily.Are you okay? she asked quietly, already knowing the answer.Tarkyn set down the bundle of sticks and dry brush, then ran a hand through his hair. He wasn't quite sure what to say.Was he good? No. But could he explain why? Not really. It just happened sometimes. He'd gone to sleep the night before awash with joy and excitement for the bond and his mate and everything that was happening between them, his heart optimistiche'd even spent some time thinking about how to approach Elreth about sending him to the Chimera before he sleptThen he'd woken that morning tense. Breathing was difficult at times. His body humming with adrenaline as if an enemy watched his back. But there was none there......It wasn't an unfamiliar feeling. Most soldiers he knew experienced it at times. And most of the time it would ease without intervention.He only cursed that it happened now, when things were so beautiful around him.I'm going to be fine, Harth.She frowned. Did I upsetNo, no, Love. No. Cursing himself for his thoughtlessness, he stepped quickly forward and pulled her into his chest, holding her as she clung to his waist. This is nothing to do with you. It's an instinct. Something on the wind. As if my body senses danger, but my eyes and ears can't identify it. I don't know what makes it happen, but whenever it comes, it just makes me restless. It just happens sometimes without warning. I'm a male of action and when there's nothing I can do it's as if my body becomes agitated.Harth sighed in his arms. She didn't lift her head from his chest. Do we need to go back to the Tree City?No. He wouldn't say he hadn't considered it. But he'd forced himself to look at the situation from all sidesthe strategist. Not the male. I'm confident Gar will let me know when the time is right to return. And I wouldn't lose this time with you for the world, Harth. I'm so grateful that we have it. Who knows when we'll get more? Honestly I wish we could stay here forever.Harth did pull her head up to look at him then. Except when you feel like you need to do something?Tarkyn chuckled. Yes. that's right. He didn't want to talk about it furtherspeaking of it only seemed to increase the feelingso instead he pulled her hair aside and checked her wound where he had claimed her. She shivered when he brushed it with his fingers.Is that pain? he asked, though he was fairly certain it wasn't. He could feel the thrill in her belly.No, she sighed, smiling. It feels wonderful when you touch it. Whenever you touch it, it's like my body comes alive. I feel you even more deeply.Tarkyn smiled genuinely then. Regardless of what else might be happening, he was so grateful for the link they shared. When he was agitated like this, he needed to be alone a lot. But the bond allowed him to not be torn, wondering if she was safe, or hurting. He'd been able to feel her for the last hour, knowing that she was content.Except in her worry for him.Worry that skated across her face behind the warm joy. This isn't normal, Tarkyn. Even for the newly mated, she said quietly.He nodded his head. I know. This bond something is different between us.Does any of this seem normal for you? For the Anima?Tarkyn thought on it for a moment. The focus the single-mindedness for the other person. The desire. Those things are common and I've seen them at work. Our joy and desire for each other aren't unique, he smiled, winking at her. Harth's cheeks flushed. But not this ability to feel each other in such a tangible way. My friends have always described a feeling of being united. Together with another. As if they're a unit. And I feel that, too. But this is more.Harth nodded Our link seemed normal to me until you claimed me. Until then, I could sense the direction you were in when I concentrated. Speaking in your mind is very normal for wolves, especially among mates and family. And the desire, the unity, I feel that too. But there's more now.You can feel my heart? My mind?She nodded. But even more than that, Tarkyn, she whispered. Then to his surprise, she reached up to push back the neckline of his shirt and stroke the place where she had bitten him.Her fingers there felt like feathers and ice, leaving his skin pebbled and his body trembling. He stifled a groan.That, Harth whispered. I can feel that. Feel your pleasure. It's as if when I touch that, or when you touch mine, it opens a link between us. Something even deeperit's like I'm inside your skin, Tarkyn. Now, when I don't touch it, I can feel youknow if you're hurt, or how you feel. But when you touch that Tarkyn nodded, he understood what she meant. Though he didn't understand what purpose it would play in their lives. Except, perhaps, to increase pleasure.I keep wondering if this is what it means to be ardent Harth mused.Sasha mentioned that word. What does it mean to you?Harth's throat bobbed. Ardent mates are vowed to each other to death.I thought that was the Chimeran matebond?Our bond drags us to death when one of us dies. Always. But it can take months, or even years. The Ardent bond is different again your hearts beat together. If one stops the other does too. Immediately.They looked at each other and Tarkyn's breath almost stopped.
