Chapter 159: 159 "Cathain’s Insecurities "
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159 “Cathain’s Insecurities ”
“Your- Your Majesty?”
Eleanora asked in confusion as she was pinned against the door and her both wrist was gripped tightly by Cathain.
Eleanora tried to look at his face but as he was too close to her and as their height difference was huge, she failed to look up at his face.
It was an unknown habit of her to talk while looking at the person’s face.
It makes her comfortable and feel that the person is equally paying attention to her words as she does.
She can alunderstand that person by observing their facial expressions.
This is why Eleanora was trying to look up at his face to understand what he is thinking.
But even if she bearly reached his shoulders, this allowed her to feel his fast beating heart which made her face flushed.
‘Is he feeling sick again?’
.....
“Your Majesty?”
“Why don’t you call me by my name?”
“??!”
Cathain spoke as he looked down to see her nervous and shocked face because of his words.
‘Even when i was married to you... I was not allowed to call you by your name. Even when we were alone... I wasn’t allowed.’
‘But you allowed her to call you by your nickname just in a week... Showed me how much you love her right before you killed me...’
‘Now you want me to call you by your name?’
‘I don’t dare anymore...’
“Pardon me, But I can’t call your majesty by your name-”
Eleanora paused on her words and become more nervous as Cathain suddenly bent down to meet her eyes.
Which made her realise that before losing his past memories, he always used to bent down to talk so that she can look at him while speaking.
If he doesn’t bent down to talk, she can’t see his face or know his facial expressions.
If they want to make an eye contact without him bending down, then they have to stand by maintaining a little distance between them to see each other.
Which Cathain didn’t wanted.
So he always used to be the one to lower himself to meet her eyes, so that she doesn’t have to look up higher to see him.
‘So this is why he always bent down to talk with me...’
This sudden realisation made her feel more awkward as she tried to deny the fact how she liked that gentle side of him, which was always considered for her.
“Why are you blushing?”
Cathain asked as he got more closer to her, so close that they could feel each others breathing fall on them.
“...Huh- AM NOT!!!”
Eleanora spoke in a panicked voice as his words made her face more red and turned her head away in nervousness as he was getting more closer.
‘Why is he getting so close...’
Cathain’s cold lips touched her ear lightly as he started to whisper seductively in her ear.
“Are you sure that you wasn’t blushing because of me?”
Eleanora curled up her toes as her hands was clenched into a ball tightly as soon as he finished whispering and bite her earlob gently.
“I- Why would i be b-blushing... B-Because of you?”
“Because you like me?”
“!!!”
‘What is he even saying?!’
‘Me and like him?’
Eleanora turned her head to look at him like she had heard some shocking news.
Cathain released her wrist slowly to cup her face into his hands so that she can’t avoid his eyes anymore.
And spoke in a serious tone.
“Say that you don’t like me while looking in my eyes, Eleanora.”
“I don’t like you.”
“...”
“...”
‘Where does he think we are at? Some romance novels? Where the female lead gets shy and can’t answer anymore to the male lead when he asks this?’
‘The first thing i got trained by my father is how to lie without blinking. The first rule to escape from danger is to steal time by lying or manipulating.’
Eleanora thought as she looked proudly at Cathain, who looked speechless and defeated with her jewel like blue eyes.
But then a sudden question caught her.
‘Lie?’
‘Why did i thought like that?’
‘What i said is the truth...’
Eleanora was lost in thoughts as she questioned herself and didn’t noticed the smrik on his face as he continued to observe her.
‘Do you think denying the fact can stop me from realising the truth?’
‘She blinks everytime before she starts to speak and doesn’t blink when she lies...’
Cathain, who was always insecured about feelings and couldn’t trust anyone easily, wanted to confirm Eleanora’s feelings first before he admitted his own feelings.
He was afraid of his feelings not being accepted by her once he admits it.
Which he doesn’t want.
Moreover, not remembering the last seven years made him more fearful of getting rejected by her.
What if she doesn’t accepts him because he doesn’t remember the past?
Cathain thought as he continued to observe her, but then his gaze suddenly couldn’t move away from a certain part of her face and he remember the night when they kissed.
‘Her lips...’
With those scenes replaying in his mind, Cathain subconsciously tilted his head a little to kiss her lips but Eleanora, who already felt it coming had put her hands over his mouth.
This way, his lips touched her palm and she widened her blue eyes in shock.
“W-What you want to d-do?!”
‘What happened to him so suddenly?’
‘Why is he acting like a pervert?’
She thought as she looked at Cathain, who was equally shocked because of his actions with unbelievable eyes.
He was acting cold not so long ago, what happened to him so suddenly?
Where Cathain felt embarrassed because of his hasty actions and took a few steps back from her.
‘What happened to me?! Why am i acting so weird like some pervert?!’
“N-Nothing... I just felt...”
“I felt dizzy!”
“Am sorry...”
Cathain spoke as he walked towards the sofa as he scratched his neck.
“...”
‘Doed he thinks i don’t know that he scratches his neck everytime he lies?’
Eleanora pouted her cheeks as she felt anger when she saw him lying to her and followed him to sit on the sofa.
“So... What do you wanted to talk about?”
Cathain asked as Eleanora sat down at the opposite seat of him.
.....
He was still embarrassed because of his actions.
‘I just don’t like it when she talks or laughs with someone while she looks so serious infront of me and rans away right after finishing her buisness.’
‘She calls that blonde dog by his name but refuses to call me by my name!’
Cathain thought as he poured tea for her in a cup.
“Here, have some tea.”
“No...No... No need. How could i let your majesty...”
‘How can i dare to drink the tea he brew?!’
‘I had almost die by vomiting a lot after drinking a cup of tea brew by him in the past!’
Eleanora thought as she remembered how she felt sick in her stomach after drinking the tea the emperor used to brew for her after her first miscarriage.
‘Maybe he felt guilty for not being able to hold me back in time and decided to show a little sympathy by giving me a little attention and brewing me tea.’
Eleanora remembered the time only time when she got his gentleness, which made her want for more.
Cathain likes sweetness in tea where Eleanora likes bitter tea, so the over sweet tea made her feel dizzy and vomiting everytime she drank it but she couldn’t refuse him.
“...You don’t like it?”
‘Can i say yes?’
Eleanora thought as she shook her head and took the tea cup.
But even after taking it near her mouth to drink, she just couldn’t dare to take a sip.
‘How the past me dared to drink those horrible tea’s?!’
Also, She can’t get sick in the middle of the war, right?
“Leave it, i will make the one you like then...”
“No! I will drink it! Am just a bit flattered!”
Eleanora spoke awkwardly as the bitter tea he brews is more terrible to drink.
She closed her eyes tightly as she took a sip.
‘!!!’
‘It’s too sweet!!!!’
But the emperor was looking at her intensely which made her force to finish the tea.
“...”
‘What the hell Brayden?! This is not like what you told me!’
Flashback~
“Your Majesty, Trust me! Don’t look at me like that. Am very famous among ladies back in the empire.”
“How about you treat the lady gently like you used to do before you lost memories?”
“If i remember correctly, she was not that cold or serious back in the past. You should show her your gentle side again.”
“Like... Brewing her a cup of tea? Am sure she will be very moved!”
Brayden spoke as he walked alongside of the emperor.
“Gentle?”
“Am not sure but i can try...”
~End of the flashback.
‘I feel terrible.’
‘She looks so uncomfortable!’
‘I think a certain someone will be the best candidate for fighting in the front line for tomorrow’s battle...’
“Accchooo!”
‘Who is missing me?’
Brayden thought as he rubbed his nose and blushed thinking that it might be some lady who loved him a lot...
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159 “Cathain’s Insecurities ”
“Your- Your Majesty?”
Eleanora asked in confusion as she was pinned against the door and her both wrist was gripped tightly by Cathain.
Eleanora tried to look at his face but as he was too close to her and as their height difference was huge, she failed to look up at his face.
It was an unknown habit of her to talk while looking at the person’s face.
It makes her comfortable and feel that the person is equally paying attention to her words as she does.
She can alunderstand that person by observing their facial expressions.
This is why Eleanora was trying to look up at his face to understand what he is thinking.
But even if she bearly reached his shoulders, this allowed her to feel his fast beating heart which made her face flushed.
‘Is he feeling sick again?’
.....
“Your Majesty?”
“Why don’t you call me by my name?”
“??!”
Cathain spoke as he looked down to see her nervous and shocked face because of his words.
‘Even when i was married to you... I was not allowed to call you by your name. Even when we were alone... I wasn’t allowed.’
‘But you allowed her to call you by your nickname just in a week... Showed me how much you love her right before you killed me...’
‘Now you want me to call you by your name?’
‘I don’t dare anymore...’
“Pardon me, But I can’t call your majesty by your name-”
Eleanora paused on her words and become more nervous as Cathain suddenly bent down to meet her eyes.
Which made her realise that before losing his past memories, he always used to bent down to talk so that she can look at him while speaking.
If he doesn’t bent down to talk, she can’t see his face or know his facial expressions.
If they want to make an eye contact without him bending down, then they have to stand by maintaining a little distance between them to see each other.
Which Cathain didn’t wanted.
So he always used to be the one to lower himself to meet her eyes, so that she doesn’t have to look up higher to see him.
‘So this is why he always bent down to talk with me...’
This sudden realisation made her feel more awkward as she tried to deny the fact how she liked that gentle side of him, which was always considered for her.
“Why are you blushing?”
Cathain asked as he got more closer to her, so close that they could feel each others breathing fall on them.
“...Huh- AM NOT!!!”
Eleanora spoke in a panicked voice as his words made her face more red and turned her head away in nervousness as he was getting more closer.
‘Why is he getting so close...’
Cathain’s cold lips touched her ear lightly as he started to whisper seductively in her ear.
“Are you sure that you wasn’t blushing because of me?”
Eleanora curled up her toes as her hands was clenched into a ball tightly as soon as he finished whispering and bite her earlob gently.
“I- Why would i be b-blushing... B-Because of you?”
“Because you like me?”
“!!!”
‘What is he even saying?!’
‘Me and like him?’
Eleanora turned her head to look at him like she had heard some shocking news.
Cathain released her wrist slowly to cup her face into his hands so that she can’t avoid his eyes anymore.
And spoke in a serious tone.
“Say that you don’t like me while looking in my eyes, Eleanora.”
“I don’t like you.”
“...”
“...”
‘Where does he think we are at? Some romance novels? Where the female lead gets shy and can’t answer anymore to the male lead when he asks this?’
‘The first thing i got trained by my father is how to lie without blinking. The first rule to escape from danger is to steal time by lying or manipulating.’
Eleanora thought as she looked proudly at Cathain, who looked speechless and defeated with her jewel like blue eyes.
But then a sudden question caught her.
‘Lie?’
‘Why did i thought like that?’
‘What i said is the truth...’
Eleanora was lost in thoughts as she questioned herself and didn’t noticed the smrik on his face as he continued to observe her.
‘Do you think denying the fact can stop me from realising the truth?’
‘She blinks everytime before she starts to speak and doesn’t blink when she lies...’
Cathain, who was always insecured about feelings and couldn’t trust anyone easily, wanted to confirm Eleanora’s feelings first before he admitted his own feelings.
He was afraid of his feelings not being accepted by her once he admits it.
Which he doesn’t want.
Moreover, not remembering the last seven years made him more fearful of getting rejected by her.
What if she doesn’t accepts him because he doesn’t remember the past?
Cathain thought as he continued to observe her, but then his gaze suddenly couldn’t move away from a certain part of her face and he remember the night when they kissed.
‘Her lips...’
With those scenes replaying in his mind, Cathain subconsciously tilted his head a little to kiss her lips but Eleanora, who already felt it coming had put her hands over his mouth.
This way, his lips touched her palm and she widened her blue eyes in shock.
“W-What you want to d-do?!”
‘What happened to him so suddenly?’
‘Why is he acting like a pervert?’
She thought as she looked at Cathain, who was equally shocked because of his actions with unbelievable eyes.
He was acting cold not so long ago, what happened to him so suddenly?
Where Cathain felt embarrassed because of his hasty actions and took a few steps back from her.
‘What happened to me?! Why am i acting so weird like some pervert?!’
“N-Nothing... I just felt...”
“I felt dizzy!”
“Am sorry...”
Cathain spoke as he walked towards the sofa as he scratched his neck.
“...”
‘Doed he thinks i don’t know that he scratches his neck everytime he lies?’
Eleanora pouted her cheeks as she felt anger when she saw him lying to her and followed him to sit on the sofa.
“So... What do you wanted to talk about?”
Cathain asked as Eleanora sat down at the opposite seat of him.
.....
He was still embarrassed because of his actions.
‘I just don’t like it when she talks or laughs with someone while she looks so serious infront of me and rans away right after finishing her buisness.’
‘She calls that blonde dog by his name but refuses to call me by my name!’
Cathain thought as he poured tea for her in a cup.
“Here, have some tea.”
“No...No... No need. How could i let your majesty...”
‘How can i dare to drink the tea he brew?!’
‘I had almost die by vomiting a lot after drinking a cup of tea brew by him in the past!’
Eleanora thought as she remembered how she felt sick in her stomach after drinking the tea the emperor used to brew for her after her first miscarriage.
‘Maybe he felt guilty for not being able to hold me back in time and decided to show a little sympathy by giving me a little attention and brewing me tea.’
Eleanora remembered the time only time when she got his gentleness, which made her want for more.
Cathain likes sweetness in tea where Eleanora likes bitter tea, so the over sweet tea made her feel dizzy and vomiting everytime she drank it but she couldn’t refuse him.
“...You don’t like it?”
‘Can i say yes?’
Eleanora thought as she shook her head and took the tea cup.
But even after taking it near her mouth to drink, she just couldn’t dare to take a sip.
‘How the past me dared to drink those horrible tea’s?!’
Also, She can’t get sick in the middle of the war, right?
“Leave it, i will make the one you like then...”
“No! I will drink it! Am just a bit flattered!”
Eleanora spoke awkwardly as the bitter tea he brews is more terrible to drink.
She closed her eyes tightly as she took a sip.
‘!!!’
‘It’s too sweet!!!!’
But the emperor was looking at her intensely which made her force to finish the tea.
“...”
‘What the hell Brayden?! This is not like what you told me!’
Flashback~
“Your Majesty, Trust me! Don’t look at me like that. Am very famous among ladies back in the empire.”
“How about you treat the lady gently like you used to do before you lost memories?”
“If i remember correctly, she was not that cold or serious back in the past. You should show her your gentle side again.”
“Like... Brewing her a cup of tea? Am sure she will be very moved!”
Brayden spoke as he walked alongside of the emperor.
“Gentle?”
“Am not sure but i can try...”
~End of the flashback.
‘I feel terrible.’
‘She looks so uncomfortable!’
‘I think a certain someone will be the best candidate for fighting in the front line for tomorrow’s battle...’
“Accchooo!”
‘Who is missing me?’
Brayden thought as he rubbed his nose and blushed thinking that it might be some lady who loved him a lot...
159 Cathain's Insecurities Your- Your Majesty?Eleanora asked in confusion as she was pinned against the door and her both wrist was gripped tightly by Cathain.Eleanora tried to look at his face but as he was too close to her and as their height difference was huge, she failed to look up at his face.It was an unknown habit of her to talk while looking at the person's face.It makes her comfortable and feel that the person is equally paying attention to her words as she does.She can alunderstand that person by observing their facial expressions.This is why Eleanora was trying to look up at his face to understand what he is thinking.But even if she bearly reached his shoulders, this allowed her to feel his fast beating heart which made her face flushed.Is he feeling sick again?'.....Your Majesty?Why don't you call me by my name???!Cathain spoke as he looked down to see her nervous and shocked face because of his words.Even when i was married to you... I was not allowed to call you by your name. Even when we were alone... I wasn't allowed.'But you allowed her to call you by your nickname just in a week... Showed me how much you love her right before you killed me...'Now you want me to call you by your name?'I don't dare anymore...'Pardon me, But I can't call your majesty by your name-Eleanora paused on her words and become more nervous as Cathain suddenly bent down to meet her eyes.Which made her realise that before losing his past memories, he always used to bent down to talk so that she can look at him while speaking.If he doesn't bent down to talk, she can't see his face or know his facial expressions.If they want to make an eye contact without him bending down, then they have to stand by maintaining a little distance between them to see each other.Which Cathain didn't wanted.So he always used to be the one to lower himself to meet her eyes, so that she doesn't have to look up higher to see him.So this is why he always bent down to talk with me...'This sudden realisation made her feel more awkward as she tried to deny the fact how she liked that gentle side of him, which was always considered for her.Why are you blushing?Cathain asked as he got more closer to her, so close that they could feel each others breathing fall on them....Huh- AM NOT!!!Eleanora spoke in a panicked voice as his words made her face more red and turned her head away in nervousness as he was getting more closer.Why is he getting so close...'Cathain's cold lips touched her ear lightly as he started to whisper seductively in her ear. Are you sure that you wasn't blushing because of me?Eleanora curled up her toes as her hands was clenched into a ball tightly as soon as he finished whispering and bite her earlob gently.I- Why would i be b-blushing... B-Because of you?Because you like me?!!!What is he even saying?!'Me and like him?'Eleanora turned her head to look at him like she had heard some shocking news.Cathain released her wrist slowly to cup her face into his hands so that she can't avoid his eyes anymore.And spoke in a serious tone.Say that you don't like me while looking in my eyes, Eleanora.I don't like you.......Where does he think we are at? Some romance novels? Where the female lead gets shy and can't answer anymore to the male lead when he asks this?'The first thing i got trained by my father is how to lie without blinking. The first rule to escape from danger is to steal time by lying or manipulating.'Eleanora thought as she looked proudly at Cathain, who looked speechless and defeated with her jewel like blue eyes.But then a sudden question caught her.Lie?'Why did i thought like that?'What i said is the truth...'Eleanora was lost in thoughts as she questioned herself and didn't noticed the smrik on his face as he continued to observe her.Do you think denying the fact can stop me from realising the truth?'She blinks everytime before she starts to speak and doesn't blink when she lies...'Cathain, who was always insecured about feelings and couldn't trust anyone easily, wanted to confirm Eleanora's feelings first before he admitted his own feelings.He was afraid of his feelings not being accepted by her once he admits it.Which he doesn't want.Moreover, not remembering the last seven years made him more fearful of getting rejected by her.What if she doesn't accepts him because he doesn't remember the past?Cathain thought as he continued to observe her, but then his gaze suddenly couldn't move away from a certain part of her face and he remember the night when they kissed.Her lips...'With those scenes replaying in his mind, Cathain subconsciously tilted his head a little to kiss her lips but Eleanora, who already felt it coming had put her hands over his mouth.This way, his lips touched her palm and she widened her blue eyes in shock.W-What you want to d-do?!What happened to him so suddenly?'Why is he acting like a pervert?'She thought as she looked at Cathain, who was equally shocked because of his actions with unbelievable eyes.He was acting cold not so long ago, what happened to him so suddenly?Where Cathain felt embarrassed because of his hasty actions and took a few steps back from her.What happened to me?! Why am i acting so weird like some pervert?!'N-Nothing... I just felt...I felt dizzy!Am sorry...Cathain spoke as he walked towards the sofa as he scratched his neck....Doed he thinks i don't know that he scratches his neck everytime he lies?'Eleanora pouted her cheeks as she felt anger when she saw him lying to her and followed him to sit on the sofa.So... What do you wanted to talk about?Cathain asked as Eleanora sat down at the opposite seat of him......He was still embarrassed because of his actions.I just don't like it when she talks or laughs with someone while she looks so serious infront of me and rans away right after finishing her buisness.'She calls that blonde dog by his name but refuses to call me by my name!'Cathain thought as he poured tea for her in a cup.Here, have some tea.No...No... No need. How could i let your majesty...How can i dare to drink the tea he brew?!'I had almost die by vomiting a lot after drinking a cup of tea brew by him in the past!'Eleanora thought as she remembered how she felt sick in her stomach after drinking the tea the emperor used to brew for her after her first miscarriage.Maybe he felt guilty for not being able to hold me back in time and decided to show a little sympathy by giving me a little attention and brewing me tea.'Eleanora remembered the time only time when she got his gentleness, which made her want for more.Cathain likes sweetness in tea where Eleanora likes bitter tea, so the over sweet tea made her feel dizzy and vomiting everytime she drank it but she couldn't refuse him....You don't like it?Can i say yes?'Eleanora thought as she shook her head and took the tea cup.But even after taking it near her mouth to drink, she just couldn't dare to take a sip.How the past me dared to drink those horrible tea's?!'Also, She can't get sick in the middle of the war, right?Leave it, i will make the one you like then...No! I will drink it! Am just a bit flattered!Eleanora spoke awkwardly as the bitter tea he brews is more terrible to drink.She closed her eyes tightly as she took a sip.!!!'It's too sweet!!!!'But the emperor was looking at her intensely which made her force to finish the tea....What the hell Brayden?! This is not like what you told me!'Flashback~Your Majesty, Trust me! Don't look at me like that. Am very famous among ladies back in the empire.How about you treat the lady gently like you used to do before you lost memories?If i remember correctly, she was not that cold or serious back in the past. You should show her your gentle side again.Like... Brewing her a cup of tea? Am sure she will be very moved!Brayden spoke as he walked alongside of the emperor.Gentle?Am not sure but i can try...~End of the flashback.I feel terrible.'She looks so uncomfortable!'I think a certain someone will be the best candidate for fighting in the front line for tomorrow's battle...'Accchooo!Who is missing me?'Brayden thought as he rubbed his nose and blushed thinking that it might be some lady who loved him a lot...
