Chapter 36
(Mild NSFW warning)The first person to see Lu Qi'an was Big Head, who was facing the door. He released an “ah” sound and loudly greeted: “Hello, Lu-xuezhang!”The moment he and Lu Qi'an met each other’s eyes, Lu Qi'an looked away, then turned and left without saying a word.Fu Jia only had time to see his tense side profile. Big Head was stunned: “Ai, how come…”Fu Jia was also somewhat stunned, he immediately stuffed the USB and small notebook into his pockets, and got up to chase after him. Because his movements were too hurried, he accidentally bumped against the table behind his seat.He rushed out the door and discovered that Lu Qi’an hadn’t gone far, but was waiting for him in the corridor. Fu Jia stopped in front of him, wanting to tug on him but not daring to, wanting to call his name but not daring to. He was sure that Lu Qi'an was angry, but he couldn't think of a reason for the time being."Let's go." Lu Qi'an said flatly.Fu Jia didn't move, and asked him in a low voice, "Are you angry?""No," Lu Qi'an said as he walked towards the stairs.Fu Jia quickly followed him, walking behind him in small steps, and asked: “Is it because I was really late today, and made you wait a long time? Sorry, this won’t happen again.”Lu Qi'an's expression was normal, and he said: "I'm not angry."Fu Jia was even more convinced that he was mad after hearing him speak like this. Is Lu Qi’an angry? Fu Jia was a self-proclaimed expert on this question. Lu Qi’an was different from others, he had an introverted personality, and he was especially introverted when he was angry. Except for special occasions where he’d directly express himself, most of the time he would remain the same as always, reticent and expressionless. However, if he usually spoke five words to others, but suddenly he’d only speak two words or none at all, then he was angry. If he usually maintained eye contact while listening to others talk, but suddenly refused eye contact to indifferently stare ahead instead, then there was a high chance that he was sulking. Fu Jia tentatively stretched out his hand and touched the back of Lu Qi'an's hand with his fingers. It was cold to touch.Fu Jia was startled and withdrew his hand."Isn’t it too cold out? Let me warm you up," Fu Jia raised his hand like he was offering a treasure and said, "Touch it, my hand is very hot."Lu Qi’an didn’t even look and said: “No need.”Fu Jia put down his hands, completely at a loss as to what to do.
…It seemed that he was very angry this time. For the rest of the day, Lu Qi’an remained in this state.# No matter what Fu Jia said to him, the only responses he received were: haven’t, no, no need, don’t want. Or he just didn’t speak.Fu Jia tried his best to coax him, asking once in a while, “Are you hungry”, or “Are you cold”, or “Did I do something wrong”. But he only dared to ask, and didn’t dare to even touch his finger. In class, anyone could see that Lu Qi’an was in a state of frigid on the outside, seething on the inside,# so no one dared to approach him, especially Li Qinhe, who stayed three feet away from him at all times and didn’t even dare to look at him. After returning home at night, Fu Jia went to the study to do his homework, but Lu Qi'an didn't even accompany him. Instead, he washed up early and went to rest in the master bedroom!Fu Jia held his forehead, his mind was such a mess that he couldn't solve a single problem. He carefully reflected on his words and actions today, and found that there wasn’t anything particularly out of the ordinary. The only thing different from usual was that he didn’t go find Lu Qi’an after class and stayed to talk to Big Head instead, making Lu Qi’an wait a long time for him. Lu Qi’an wasn’t a petty person, waiting a bit didn’t matter, so the only possibility left was Big Head.But…what did Big Head do?Did Lu Qi’an hate people like Big Head? Or had Big Head acted too servile, shouting “Xuezhang” whenever he saw him, and disgusted him in the process.Otherwise, it’d be…Fu Jia put away his homework, not in the mood to write any more. He left the study, made some mental preparations in front of the master bedroom, and only opened the door once he finished drafting his apology. Lu Qi’an was sitting on the armchair in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows. There wasn’t a book in his hands, and he seemed to be watching the outside night scenery. He turned to look at Fu Jia, and Fu Jia very carefully met his eyes and said: “Sorry. You’ve been so angry today… is it because of my classmate? From now on, I won’t talk to him for such an extended period of time again, or let him bother you. Sorry, forgive me, okay?”He spoke with sincerity and cordiality. Big Head was his first friend at No. 6 High School, and was also his deskmate, and class monitor. But Big Head was nothing compared to Lu Qi’an, if Lu Qi’an didn’t like it, he could stop interacting with Big Head. Watching Fu Jia stand at the door without daring to enter while desperately staring into his eyes, Lu Qi’an’s heart sank a bit. He said: “I’m not mad.”Fu Jia breathed a sigh of relief: "That's good..."He relaxed his stiffened back, then heard Lu Qi'an go on to say: "However, what were you chatting about with your classmate?”Bringing this up embarrassed Fu Jia and he was too ashamed to talk about the USB, so he made a random excuse: “I had a question I didn’t understand. Since he’s the class monitor and ranks third in the class, I asked him for help.”He thought what he said was perfect, and even smiled after speaking, but didn’t stop to think what his words implied.
He was telling Lu Qi'an that he didn't come to him for school-related questions, and instead went to ask for help from the class monitor first.Lu Qi'an lowered his eyes and fell silent.Having not received a response for a long time, Fu Jia began to realize that something was wrong. He felt oppressed by the room’s silence, and for some reason, didn’t dare to breathe too loudly. He thought about it, walked into the room, and closed the door behind him.Speak too much and he’d say the wrong thing, it was better to not speak at all. How did he pursue Lu Qi’an in the first place? Wasn’t it showing his sincerity through action?He boldly walked over to Lu Qi’an, and the rug under the armchair absorbed the sound of his footsteps. He crouched on the rug and leaned on the armrest of the seat, looking up at Lu Qi’an like a puppy pleading with its owner.“Forgive me,” he said. It didn’t matter whether it was his fault or not, whether it was worth apologizing or not, as long as Lu Qi'an was angry, he would apologize.He just didn’t have a bottom line.Lu Qi'an looked down at him, his throat parched by an inexplicable fire. He tried to endure it, but he couldn't suppress the dark emotions in his heart.Fu Jia simply interacted with his classmates in an ordinary manner, but he was so angry that he couldn’t control himself. He didn’t want to see Fu Jia closely interacting with others, didn’t want him to carefully listen to what others say, and didn’t want him to look at others with bright eyes. He wanted to sternly tell Fu Jia, you can't associate with anyone except me.This was too scary.Fu Jia was currently studying at No. 6 High School, and in the future, he will have to go to university and enter society. His personality was becoming more cheerful, and his world was broadening. With friendly people appearing next to him one by one, Lu Qi’an would undoubtedly no longer be the only bright light in his world. But when this fact was presented to Lu Qi'an, he didn't want to accept it.He didn't want to accept it, but he couldn't stop it from becoming a reality, because he was leading Fu Jia to such a future with his own hands.He couldn't imprison Fu Jia at home, nor could he cast Fu Jia into boundless darkness and muck so that he could become the only driftwood Fu Jia could cling to. Even if such a thought sounded wonderful. He had to admit, it seemed very wonderful. The more he recognized that his heart had such desires, the stronger these desires grew, constantly affecting his behaviour and judgment. He could suppress it, but the more he suppressed it, the harder it was to restrain himself. He wanted to punish Fu Jia, to make him cry and force him to promise that he would never associate with others again.As if he was possessed by evil."No need to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong," Lu Qi'an said hoarsely, "Sorry, can we sleep separately today?"
Fu Jia was dazed and couldn’t recover his spirit.What was he saying?"I'll go to the guest room tonight," Lu Qi'an continued.Only then did Fu Jia realize that he was kicked away by Lu Qi'an. He fell at his feet begging for mercy, but was still kicked away.Fu Jia opened his mouth and heard himself say: "I'd better go to the guest room. If I sleep alone, I'm more used to sleeping in the guest room.”He stood up from the armchair, and his world flashed white for a second. After Fu Jia left the master bedroom, he fell into a trance alone in the guest room for a long time.After an unknown amount of time, he took out the USB and notes that Datou gave him from the pocket of his jacket. He didn't have a computer, but there was a laptop in the study. Fu Jia saw Lu Qi'an use it a few times, and it wasn’t password-locked. He carried the laptop into the guest room and locked the door. Fu Jia plugged in the USB and opened a film highly recommended by Big Head.This was the first time Fu Jia watched porn. On the screen, a fair woman wore a high school uniform, entwining with the male star like a water snake. She didn’t take off her clothes, and wore black knee-high stockings throughout as she hooked around the male star’s waist without letting go. Fu Jia stared at the heavy things on her chest and the more he stared, the more it overwhelmed his eyes, so he simply turned off the video.There was an unknown fire in his heart, but he didn't know where it came from, or who to blame. He shrunk under the duvet, shivering from the cold, and couldn’t help but curl into a ball.Even though there was only a person missing from his side, Fu Jia felt it was too cold to sleep. He closed his eyes and put his hand in his pants. When his fingers bumped against his penis, he instantly remembered the feeling of Lu Qi’an getting him off using his hands that day. The memory was so clear that he could practically feel the marks of his fingerprints. Fu Jia’s breathing gradually became rapid, and his face began to flush. This time it was with his own hand, the pleasure wasn’t strong, but there was a real sense of it as he suspended himself by lengthening the process. Fu Jia arched his back, becoming more and more impatient as he tightened his grip and brought a feeling of pain. Fu Jia clenched his teeth, trembling all over. In this way of accumulating pleasure little by little, Fu Jia finally ejaculated. He took out his hand and saw the viscous liquid sticking between his fingers. He didn’t know whether he imagined it, but there was a slight fishy scent. He thought without control, would Lu Qi’an find this repulsive?He definitely would, right?He really was delirious, after watching the seductive appeal of the porn actress, he unwillingly wielded the lust in his body in an attempt to prove that his passion was no worse than a woman’s.#Fu Jia closed his eyes as the heat in his body gradually dissipated, turning him colder than before. This magnified his shame, and a feeling of numbness took over his hands, feet, and face.He covered his head with the duvet and gave himself a punch.
The next day, everything seemed to be back to normal. Fu Jia and Lu Qi'an sat together for breakfast, neither of them talking. Today, Auntie Miao made preserved egg and lean meat porridge, Fu Jia took a spoonful and brought it to his mouth, but couldn’t eat it no matter what.It was sticky, slick, and steaming, which reminded him of last night. He just held the spoon in a daze.Lu Qi'an waited for nearly a minute, but Fu Jia didn’t regain his senses. He asked aloud: "Is it not to your liking?"Fu Jia didn't expect that he would strike up a conversation first, and both heart and mind felt put on the spot. He shook his head, put the spoon into his mouth, and swallowed it whole.“I’m full,” he put down his spoon and got up to leave the table.Lu Qi'an also put down the spoon and asked him: "Full after one spoon?”Fu Jia pretended he couldn’t hear him.After he left the dining table, he wanted to hide in the bathroom for a while, but as he walked, he turned into the study. He tore off a blank page from his homework notebook, took a pen in his hand, and words began to flow out. This was the fastest he wrote in history.Ten seconds later, Fu Jia finished writing. He folded the paper in half, held it in the palm of his hand, carried his school bag and walked out of the room.Lu Qi'an was still sitting at the dining table, and seeing Fu Jia come out, he said: "If it doesn't suit your appetite, tell me and I can ask Auntie Miao to come over and make you something else."Fu Jia stiffly said: "No need.”He took out the note in front of Lu Qi'an, pressed it to the table, and said: "I'm going to school first. The steamed buns from the cafeteria are pretty good. This is for you, look it over when you have the time."After speaking, he turned his head and left, then squatted in front of the door to put on his shoes, and left without looking back.The door closed, and there was only Lu Qi’an left in the room. It was so quiet that it seemed like even breathing couldn’t be heard.He picked up the piece of paper Fu Jia gave him, and unfolded it to read. The scrawls on the note were extremely sloppy, presumably the person who wrote it was emotional and couldn't control his writing well—Fu Jia wrote:Memorandum of ComplaintI want to complain that Lu Qi’an got angry for no reason, ignored me, and ignored me even after I said nice things. Stubborn and unreasonable with an abominable attitude. I hope for him to be severely punished.Plaintiff - Fu Jia
Chapter 36
(Mild NSFW warning)The first person to see Lu Qi'an was Big Head, who was facing the door. He released an “ah” sound and loudly greeted: “Hello, Lu-xuezhang!”The moment he and Lu Qi'an met each other’s eyes, Lu Qi'an looked away, then turned and left without saying a word.Fu Jia only had time to see his tense side profile. Big Head was stunned: “Ai, how come…”Fu Jia was also somewhat stunned, he immediately stuffed the USB and small notebook into his pockets, and got up to chase after him. Because his movements were too hurried, he accidentally bumped against the table behind his seat.He rushed out the door and discovered that Lu Qi’an hadn’t gone far, but was waiting for him in the corridor. Fu Jia stopped in front of him, wanting to tug on him but not daring to, wanting to call his name but not daring to. He was sure that Lu Qi'an was angry, but he couldn't think of a reason for the time being."Let's go." Lu Qi'an said flatly.Fu Jia didn't move, and asked him in a low voice, "Are you angry?""No," Lu Qi'an said as he walked towards the stairs.Fu Jia quickly followed him, walking behind him in small steps, and asked: “Is it because I was really late today, and made you wait a long time? Sorry, this won’t happen again.”Lu Qi'an's expression was normal, and he said: "I'm not angry."Fu Jia was even more convinced that he was mad after hearing him speak like this. Is Lu Qi’an angry? Fu Jia was a self-proclaimed expert on this question. Lu Qi’an was different from others, he had an introverted personality, and he was especially introverted when he was angry. Except for special occasions where he’d directly express himself, most of the time he would remain the same as always, reticent and expressionless. However, if he usually spoke five words to others, but suddenly he’d only speak two words or none at all, then he was angry. If he usually maintained eye contact while listening to others talk, but suddenly refused eye contact to indifferently stare ahead instead, then there was a high chance that he was sulking. Fu Jia tentatively stretched out his hand and touched the back of Lu Qi'an's hand with his fingers. It was cold to touch.Fu Jia was startled and withdrew his hand."Isn’t it too cold out? Let me warm you up," Fu Jia raised his hand like he was offering a treasure and said, "Touch it, my hand is very hot."Lu Qi’an didn’t even look and said: “No need.”Fu Jia put down his hands, completely at a loss as to what to do.
…It seemed that he was very angry this time. For the rest of the day, Lu Qi’an remained in this state.# No matter what Fu Jia said to him, the only responses he received were: haven’t, no, no need, don’t want. Or he just didn’t speak.Fu Jia tried his best to coax him, asking once in a while, “Are you hungry”, or “Are you cold”, or “Did I do something wrong”. But he only dared to ask, and didn’t dare to even touch his finger. In class, anyone could see that Lu Qi’an was in a state of frigid on the outside, seething on the inside,# so no one dared to approach him, especially Li Qinhe, who stayed three feet away from him at all times and didn’t even dare to look at him. After returning home at night, Fu Jia went to the study to do his homework, but Lu Qi'an didn't even accompany him. Instead, he washed up early and went to rest in the master bedroom!Fu Jia held his forehead, his mind was such a mess that he couldn't solve a single problem. He carefully reflected on his words and actions today, and found that there wasn’t anything particularly out of the ordinary. The only thing different from usual was that he didn’t go find Lu Qi’an after class and stayed to talk to Big Head instead, making Lu Qi’an wait a long time for him. Lu Qi’an wasn’t a petty person, waiting a bit didn’t matter, so the only possibility left was Big Head.But…what did Big Head do?Did Lu Qi’an hate people like Big Head? Or had Big Head acted too servile, shouting “Xuezhang” whenever he saw him, and disgusted him in the process.Otherwise, it’d be…Fu Jia put away his homework, not in the mood to write any more. He left the study, made some mental preparations in front of the master bedroom, and only opened the door once he finished drafting his apology. Lu Qi’an was sitting on the armchair in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows. There wasn’t a book in his hands, and he seemed to be watching the outside night scenery. He turned to look at Fu Jia, and Fu Jia very carefully met his eyes and said: “Sorry. You’ve been so angry today… is it because of my classmate? From now on, I won’t talk to him for such an extended period of time again, or let him bother you. Sorry, forgive me, okay?”He spoke with sincerity and cordiality. Big Head was his first friend at No. 6 High School, and was also his deskmate, and class monitor. But Big Head was nothing compared to Lu Qi’an, if Lu Qi’an didn’t like it, he could stop interacting with Big Head. Watching Fu Jia stand at the door without daring to enter while desperately staring into his eyes, Lu Qi’an’s heart sank a bit. He said: “I’m not mad.”Fu Jia breathed a sigh of relief: "That's good..."He relaxed his stiffened back, then heard Lu Qi'an go on to say: "However, what were you chatting about with your classmate?”Bringing this up embarrassed Fu Jia and he was too ashamed to talk about the USB, so he made a random excuse: “I had a question I didn’t understand. Since he’s the class monitor and ranks third in the class, I asked him for help.”He thought what he said was perfect, and even smiled after speaking, but didn’t stop to think what his words implied.
He was telling Lu Qi'an that he didn't come to him for school-related questions, and instead went to ask for help from the class monitor first.Lu Qi'an lowered his eyes and fell silent.Having not received a response for a long time, Fu Jia began to realize that something was wrong. He felt oppressed by the room’s silence, and for some reason, didn’t dare to breathe too loudly. He thought about it, walked into the room, and closed the door behind him.Speak too much and he’d say the wrong thing, it was better to not speak at all. How did he pursue Lu Qi’an in the first place? Wasn’t it showing his sincerity through action?He boldly walked over to Lu Qi’an, and the rug under the armchair absorbed the sound of his footsteps. He crouched on the rug and leaned on the armrest of the seat, looking up at Lu Qi’an like a puppy pleading with its owner.“Forgive me,” he said. It didn’t matter whether it was his fault or not, whether it was worth apologizing or not, as long as Lu Qi'an was angry, he would apologize.He just didn’t have a bottom line.Lu Qi'an looked down at him, his throat parched by an inexplicable fire. He tried to endure it, but he couldn't suppress the dark emotions in his heart.Fu Jia simply interacted with his classmates in an ordinary manner, but he was so angry that he couldn’t control himself. He didn’t want to see Fu Jia closely interacting with others, didn’t want him to carefully listen to what others say, and didn’t want him to look at others with bright eyes. He wanted to sternly tell Fu Jia, you can't associate with anyone except me.This was too scary.Fu Jia was currently studying at No. 6 High School, and in the future, he will have to go to university and enter society. His personality was becoming more cheerful, and his world was broadening. With friendly people appearing next to him one by one, Lu Qi’an would undoubtedly no longer be the only bright light in his world. But when this fact was presented to Lu Qi'an, he didn't want to accept it.He didn't want to accept it, but he couldn't stop it from becoming a reality, because he was leading Fu Jia to such a future with his own hands.He couldn't imprison Fu Jia at home, nor could he cast Fu Jia into boundless darkness and muck so that he could become the only driftwood Fu Jia could cling to. Even if such a thought sounded wonderful. He had to admit, it seemed very wonderful. The more he recognized that his heart had such desires, the stronger these desires grew, constantly affecting his behaviour and judgment. He could suppress it, but the more he suppressed it, the harder it was to restrain himself. He wanted to punish Fu Jia, to make him cry and force him to promise that he would never associate with others again.As if he was possessed by evil."No need to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong," Lu Qi'an said hoarsely, "Sorry, can we sleep separately today?"
Fu Jia was dazed and couldn’t recover his spirit.What was he saying?"I'll go to the guest room tonight," Lu Qi'an continued.Only then did Fu Jia realize that he was kicked away by Lu Qi'an. He fell at his feet begging for mercy, but was still kicked away.Fu Jia opened his mouth and heard himself say: "I'd better go to the guest room. If I sleep alone, I'm more used to sleeping in the guest room.”He stood up from the armchair, and his world flashed white for a second. After Fu Jia left the master bedroom, he fell into a trance alone in the guest room for a long time.After an unknown amount of time, he took out the USB and notes that Datou gave him from the pocket of his jacket. He didn't have a computer, but there was a laptop in the study. Fu Jia saw Lu Qi'an use it a few times, and it wasn’t password-locked. He carried the laptop into the guest room and locked the door. Fu Jia plugged in the USB and opened a film highly recommended by Big Head.This was the first time Fu Jia watched porn. On the screen, a fair woman wore a high school uniform, entwining with the male star like a water snake. She didn’t take off her clothes, and wore black knee-high stockings throughout as she hooked around the male star’s waist without letting go. Fu Jia stared at the heavy things on her chest and the more he stared, the more it overwhelmed his eyes, so he simply turned off the video.There was an unknown fire in his heart, but he didn't know where it came from, or who to blame. He shrunk under the duvet, shivering from the cold, and couldn’t help but curl into a ball.Even though there was only a person missing from his side, Fu Jia felt it was too cold to sleep. He closed his eyes and put his hand in his pants. When his fingers bumped against his penis, he instantly remembered the feeling of Lu Qi’an getting him off using his hands that day. The memory was so clear that he could practically feel the marks of his fingerprints. Fu Jia’s breathing gradually became rapid, and his face began to flush. This time it was with his own hand, the pleasure wasn’t strong, but there was a real sense of it as he suspended himself by lengthening the process. Fu Jia arched his back, becoming more and more impatient as he tightened his grip and brought a feeling of pain. Fu Jia clenched his teeth, trembling all over. In this way of accumulating pleasure little by little, Fu Jia finally ejaculated. He took out his hand and saw the viscous liquid sticking between his fingers. He didn’t know whether he imagined it, but there was a slight fishy scent. He thought without control, would Lu Qi’an find this repulsive?He definitely would, right?He really was delirious, after watching the seductive appeal of the porn actress, he unwillingly wielded the lust in his body in an attempt to prove that his passion was no worse than a woman’s.#Fu Jia closed his eyes as the heat in his body gradually dissipated, turning him colder than before. This magnified his shame, and a feeling of numbness took over his hands, feet, and face.He covered his head with the duvet and gave himself a punch.
The next day, everything seemed to be back to normal. Fu Jia and Lu Qi'an sat together for breakfast, neither of them talking. Today, Auntie Miao made preserved egg and lean meat porridge, Fu Jia took a spoonful and brought it to his mouth, but couldn’t eat it no matter what.It was sticky, slick, and steaming, which reminded him of last night. He just held the spoon in a daze.Lu Qi'an waited for nearly a minute, but Fu Jia didn’t regain his senses. He asked aloud: "Is it not to your liking?"Fu Jia didn't expect that he would strike up a conversation first, and both heart and mind felt put on the spot. He shook his head, put the spoon into his mouth, and swallowed it whole.“I’m full,” he put down his spoon and got up to leave the table.Lu Qi'an also put down the spoon and asked him: "Full after one spoon?”Fu Jia pretended he couldn’t hear him.After he left the dining table, he wanted to hide in the bathroom for a while, but as he walked, he turned into the study. He tore off a blank page from his homework notebook, took a pen in his hand, and words began to flow out. This was the fastest he wrote in history.Ten seconds later, Fu Jia finished writing. He folded the paper in half, held it in the palm of his hand, carried his school bag and walked out of the room.Lu Qi'an was still sitting at the dining table, and seeing Fu Jia come out, he said: "If it doesn't suit your appetite, tell me and I can ask Auntie Miao to come over and make you something else."Fu Jia stiffly said: "No need.”He took out the note in front of Lu Qi'an, pressed it to the table, and said: "I'm going to school first. The steamed buns from the cafeteria are pretty good. This is for you, look it over when you have the time."After speaking, he turned his head and left, then squatted in front of the door to put on his shoes, and left without looking back.The door closed, and there was only Lu Qi’an left in the room. It was so quiet that it seemed like even breathing couldn’t be heard.He picked up the piece of paper Fu Jia gave him, and unfolded it to read. The scrawls on the note were extremely sloppy, presumably the person who wrote it was emotional and couldn't control his writing well—Fu Jia wrote:Memorandum of ComplaintI want to complain that Lu Qi’an got angry for no reason, ignored me, and ignored me even after I said nice things. Stubborn and unreasonable with an abominable attitude. I hope for him to be severely punished.Plaintiff - Fu Jia
