Bokuboy I sincerely apologize for my absence. I hurt my back during the last snowstorm (when I also lost power / internet for a while) and was pretty much bedridden until today.
“I hope you're not planning on doing something with your college money.” My dad said and I successfully held my sigh in. “After you died and we buried you, we reclaimed that money and put it into an account for your sister.”
“I told them I didn't want it.” Jenny said. “It's been sitting there and gathering interest for nine years.”
“You weren't old enough at the time to make those kinds of decisions.” My dad said.
“I was eight, thank you very much.” Jenny pouted and didn't let me go. “I knew all about the world and you couldn't convince me otherwise.”
I had to laugh and Jenny turned her head to look up at me. “You need tissues.” I said as I moved my hand to reach for the box, then it disappeared. Oops. My inventory still works just like I was gathering treasure.
“I'll get... hey, the box was there a minute ago.” Jenny said as she turned to look.
“You mean this box?” I asked and pulled it out for her.
“Ha ha! Cool magic trick.” Jenny said and took a couple of tissues and wiped at her eyes. “Oh, damn. There goes my mascara and most of my eyeliner.”
“Since when did you start wearing make-up?” I asked, shocked.
“Since I was twelve.” Jenny said with a grin. “I'm eighteen now, bro.”
The realization hit me like a ton of bricks.
“N-no, you... please tell me you aren't dating!”
“I'm not... right now.” Jenny said teasingly and I sighed in defeat. “I knew you loved me, too!”
“Of course I love you, you're my little sister.” I said.
“No, you love me, love me.” Jenny said with a gleam in her eye.
“I. Do. Not.” I said and my face flushed red. “You were only eight and...”
“Uh huh.” Jenny said. “I was only eight and for some reason, my eighteen year old brother never had a girlfriend. Any time I asked about it, you always said that you never needed one, because I was always willing to go everywhere you wanted to go.”
I clamped my mouth shut and didn't say anything, because that part was true. Jenny was always happy to go anywhere I wanted to go and I enjoyed having her along.
“It wasn't until I turned fifteen and went on my first date that I realized what had happened.” Jenny said, almost in an accusing tone.
“Nothing happened.” I said in my defense and my face lost the redness.
Jenny reached up and cupped the side of my face. “I know you believe that.” She said and let my face go. “Now that I'm eighteen and can see what things were really like, I can tell you right now that you are full of shit.”
“Jenny!” Our mother exclaimed.
“It's all right, Mom.” Jenny said without looking at her and stared at me. “You knew I was standing in for a girlfriend, didn't you?”
“No.” I said and she raised her hand to slap me. “Jenny, I didn't. I really didn't.”
Jenny lowered her hand and motioned for me to continue.
“You said it yourself. I didn't have a girlfriend. I never had a girlfriend.” I said. “I didn't know we were going on dates. I was just taking my cute little sister out to all these great places that I liked and we had a great time.” I took her hand. “You had a great time, right?”
“Yes.” Jenny said, then she sighed. “You don't know how much teasing I got when guys took me to those places and I said that you took me there years ago and we did the same things.”
Our mother let out a gasp and I glared at her.
“Mom!” I spat and she jumped a little and looked at me. “I didn't kiss her or try to grope her! She means holding hands and experiencing everything.”
Jenny nodded. “That was the only difference, Damon.” She said and I looked back into her eyes. “You didn't kiss me or grope me. That was the only difference between dating other guys and dating my brother.”
I opened my mouth to respond and sighed instead. “Jenny, I... I didn't...”
“You've given me presents, bought me food, and talked to me like I was an equal, even though you were ten years older than me.” Jenny said with love in her voice. “You know, none of the other guys have ever measured up to you.” She said and my eyes widened.
“Jenny!” Our dad exclaimed.
“Geez, Dad! I don't mean his... wiener.” Jenny said, her face red this time. “I've never seen it.”
“Thank god.” Our mother whispered.
“I meant about how much I love him.” Jenny said. “I've tried. I've really tried to love someone else. I just... you're too much for them to compete against.”
“Jenny, you can't really mean...”
“If you weren't my brother...” Jenny started to say and both of our parents sputtered incoherently.
“Jenny.” I said and she gave me a mischievous smile that I missed so much. “We can never...”
“No duh.” Jenny interrupted me. “Dad would have a heart attack and mom would die from shock.”
“I might, too.” I admitted.
Jenny let her mischievous smile fade away. “You feel the same way, don't you?” She asked and reached up to dig her hands into the front of my shirt. “Don't you dare lie to me, not after dying and coming back to life.”
“Jenny, I...”
“I know you've slept with other girls. I know you have.” Jenny said. “I won't hold that against you.”
“Jenny...”
“You don't love them, though.” Jenny said and looked deep into my eyes.
I didn't say anything and she shook me a little.
“Tell me that you don't love them!”
“I almost did.” I said and her eyes widened. “It was close... very close.” I whispered. “Unfortunately, I found out what she was really like and had to leave before I could finish helping her.”
“How would you...” Jenny went quiet and then her eyes widened. “You took revenge for her.”
“How did you know...”
“I can feel it.” Jenny said and let my shirt go. “I've always known you weren't really gone... it's been so long that... I thought I was just... your ghost was haunting me, or...”
I put my arms around her. “It's because I never said goodbye, isn't it?”
Jenny nodded and relaxed into my arms. “These clothes are really rough on my skin.”
I chuckled. “It's all I could get a hold of.”
“Where were you? Amish country or something?” Jenny asked and leaned back.
“Definitely 'or something'.” I said with a smile. “I suppose all of my stuff is gone?”
“Pretty much.” Jenny said. “I was just a kid and I couldn't fight mom and dad to keep a lot.”
I reached up and ran my hand through her hair. “Thank you for trying.”
“Come on.” Jenny stepped back and took my hand. “It's all in a box at the back of my closet.”
I followed her and she took me to her room. I was tempted to look into the room that used to be mine, then decided I didn't want to know that badly. When Jenny's bedroom door shut behind me, I was suddenly pushed down onto the bed. Before I could react, Jenny was straddling my belly and had my shoulders pinned to the bed. I stared up at my sister in surprise and she smiled mischievously.
“You didn't answer my question.” Jenny said and leaned down and touched her nose to mine. “Tell me, big brother. Tell your little sister the truth.”
I had an instant view with Divine Sight and nearly everything I said would make my relationship with her, and our family, end in disaster... all except for one eventuality where I said five little magic words.
“I will always love you.” I whispered to her.
Jenny stared into my eyes and waited for me to keep talking. She waited for me to add a qualifier, like 'as a sister' or 'platonically'. I stayed quiet and after several seconds, her eyes widened and she moved back just enough that our noses were no longer touching.
“It... it's true?” Jenny asked, her voice a little shaky. “You love me?”
I stayed quiet and let her think about it on her own. I had to let her come to grips with it in her own way and didn't try to influence her at all. I knew that she had been half-playing and teased our parents with it, then she started to believe and her mind remembered her heart being so invested in me that no one else existed for her. She had been very young at the time and getting to spend so much time with me had been the happiest she had ever been in her life.
I didn't tell her that she had grown up into a beautiful young woman, or that her eyes were like pools of deep ocean water, or that her wavy black hair glistened like it had been kissed by moonlight. It was then that I realized how much Shanna looked like my sister. I hadn't made the connection before, because in my mind, my sister Jenny was still eight years old and hadn't grown up yet. The young woman in front of me? She was pretty much everything I was looking for.
Over the years after my official death, Jenny's devotion to me had faded almost completely away. She had been right, though. She never did give up on thinking I was still around. She was stubborn like that.
“Damon, I... I love you.” Jenny whispered, her heart beating so fast and loud that we could both hear it. “I always have.”
“We can never show it.” I said.
“But... in private... we...”
“No.” I said.
Jenny's eyes darted from my eyes to my lips, then back to my eyes, then to my lips and back. She licked her lips and then bit them slightly, which plumped them up a little and made them flush with blood.
“Jenny.” I said, a little sternly.
Jenny sighed and moved off of me, then she stood up. “Your stuff is over here.”
I followed her over to the closet and helped her rummage through the things she had to get the box. “She looked almost exactly like you do now.”
Jenny caught her breath and her face flushed red as she blushed. She pulled the box out of the closet and waved at me to take it to the bed. I carried it over and put it down. In a rare attempt to stay away from me, she sat on the other side of the box. I could see and almost feel her conflicting emotions. I sat there and didn't open the taped box and she looked up from it and at me.
I held my hand out to her and she took it without hesitation. We sat there for several minutes and just looked at each other. We both squeezed our hands at the same time, let go, then popped the tape off the box and opened it. It was time to look at the remains of my old life.
Bokuboy I sincerely apologize for my absence. I hurt my back during the last snowstorm (when I also lost power / internet for a while) and was pretty much bedridden until today.
“I hope you're not planning on doing something with your college money.” My dad said and I successfully held my sigh in. “After you died and we buried you, we reclaimed that money and put it into an account for your sister.”
“I told them I didn't want it.” Jenny said. “It's been sitting there and gathering interest for nine years.”
“You weren't old enough at the time to make those kinds of decisions.” My dad said.
“I was eight, thank you very much.” Jenny pouted and didn't let me go. “I knew all about the world and you couldn't convince me otherwise.”
I had to laugh and Jenny turned her head to look up at me. “You need tissues.” I said as I moved my hand to reach for the box, then it disappeared. Oops. My inventory still works just like I was gathering treasure.
“I'll get... hey, the box was there a minute ago.” Jenny said as she turned to look.
“You mean this box?” I asked and pulled it out for her.
“Ha ha! Cool magic trick.” Jenny said and took a couple of tissues and wiped at her eyes. “Oh, damn. There goes my mascara and most of my eyeliner.”
“Since when did you start wearing make-up?” I asked, shocked.
“Since I was twelve.” Jenny said with a grin. “I'm eighteen now, bro.”
The realization hit me like a ton of bricks.
“N-no, you... please tell me you aren't dating!”
“I'm not... right now.” Jenny said teasingly and I sighed in defeat. “I knew you loved me, too!”
“Of course I love you, you're my little sister.” I said.
“No, you love me, love me.” Jenny said with a gleam in her eye.
“I. Do. Not.” I said and my face flushed red. “You were only eight and...”
“Uh huh.” Jenny said. “I was only eight and for some reason, my eighteen year old brother never had a girlfriend. Any time I asked about it, you always said that you never needed one, because I was always willing to go everywhere you wanted to go.”
I clamped my mouth shut and didn't say anything, because that part was true. Jenny was always happy to go anywhere I wanted to go and I enjoyed having her along.
“It wasn't until I turned fifteen and went on my first date that I realized what had happened.” Jenny said, almost in an accusing tone.
“Nothing happened.” I said in my defense and my face lost the redness.
Jenny reached up and cupped the side of my face. “I know you believe that.” She said and let my face go. “Now that I'm eighteen and can see what things were really like, I can tell you right now that you are full of shit.”
“Jenny!” Our mother exclaimed.
“It's all right, Mom.” Jenny said without looking at her and stared at me. “You knew I was standing in for a girlfriend, didn't you?”
“No.” I said and she raised her hand to slap me. “Jenny, I didn't. I really didn't.”
Jenny lowered her hand and motioned for me to continue.
“You said it yourself. I didn't have a girlfriend. I never had a girlfriend.” I said. “I didn't know we were going on dates. I was just taking my cute little sister out to all these great places that I liked and we had a great time.” I took her hand. “You had a great time, right?”
“Yes.” Jenny said, then she sighed. “You don't know how much teasing I got when guys took me to those places and I said that you took me there years ago and we did the same things.”
Our mother let out a gasp and I glared at her.
“Mom!” I spat and she jumped a little and looked at me. “I didn't kiss her or try to grope her! She means holding hands and experiencing everything.”
Jenny nodded. “That was the only difference, Damon.” She said and I looked back into her eyes. “You didn't kiss me or grope me. That was the only difference between dating other guys and dating my brother.”
I opened my mouth to respond and sighed instead. “Jenny, I... I didn't...”
“You've given me presents, bought me food, and talked to me like I was an equal, even though you were ten years older than me.” Jenny said with love in her voice. “You know, none of the other guys have ever measured up to you.” She said and my eyes widened.
“Jenny!” Our dad exclaimed.
“Geez, Dad! I don't mean his... wiener.” Jenny said, her face red this time. “I've never seen it.”
“Thank god.” Our mother whispered.
“I meant about how much I love him.” Jenny said. “I've tried. I've really tried to love someone else. I just... you're too much for them to compete against.”
“Jenny, you can't really mean...”
“If you weren't my brother...” Jenny started to say and both of our parents sputtered incoherently.
“Jenny.” I said and she gave me a mischievous smile that I missed so much. “We can never...”
“No duh.” Jenny interrupted me. “Dad would have a heart attack and mom would die from shock.”
“I might, too.” I admitted.
Jenny let her mischievous smile fade away. “You feel the same way, don't you?” She asked and reached up to dig her hands into the front of my shirt. “Don't you dare lie to me, not after dying and coming back to life.”
“Jenny, I...”
“I know you've slept with other girls. I know you have.” Jenny said. “I won't hold that against you.”
“Jenny...”
“You don't love them, though.” Jenny said and looked deep into my eyes.
I didn't say anything and she shook me a little.
“Tell me that you don't love them!”
“I almost did.” I said and her eyes widened. “It was close... very close.” I whispered. “Unfortunately, I found out what she was really like and had to leave before I could finish helping her.”
“How would you...” Jenny went quiet and then her eyes widened. “You took revenge for her.”
“How did you know...”
“I can feel it.” Jenny said and let my shirt go. “I've always known you weren't really gone... it's been so long that... I thought I was just... your ghost was haunting me, or...”
I put my arms around her. “It's because I never said goodbye, isn't it?”
Jenny nodded and relaxed into my arms. “These clothes are really rough on my skin.”
I chuckled. “It's all I could get a hold of.”
“Where were you? Amish country or something?” Jenny asked and leaned back.
“Definitely 'or something'.” I said with a smile. “I suppose all of my stuff is gone?”
“Pretty much.” Jenny said. “I was just a kid and I couldn't fight mom and dad to keep a lot.”
I reached up and ran my hand through her hair. “Thank you for trying.”
“Come on.” Jenny stepped back and took my hand. “It's all in a box at the back of my closet.”
I followed her and she took me to her room. I was tempted to look into the room that used to be mine, then decided I didn't want to know that badly. When Jenny's bedroom door shut behind me, I was suddenly pushed down onto the bed. Before I could react, Jenny was straddling my belly and had my shoulders pinned to the bed. I stared up at my sister in surprise and she smiled mischievously.
“You didn't answer my question.” Jenny said and leaned down and touched her nose to mine. “Tell me, big brother. Tell your little sister the truth.”
I had an instant view with Divine Sight and nearly everything I said would make my relationship with her, and our family, end in disaster... all except for one eventuality where I said five little magic words.
“I will always love you.” I whispered to her.
Jenny stared into my eyes and waited for me to keep talking. She waited for me to add a qualifier, like 'as a sister' or 'platonically'. I stayed quiet and after several seconds, her eyes widened and she moved back just enough that our noses were no longer touching.
“It... it's true?” Jenny asked, her voice a little shaky. “You love me?”
I stayed quiet and let her think about it on her own. I had to let her come to grips with it in her own way and didn't try to influence her at all. I knew that she had been half-playing and teased our parents with it, then she started to believe and her mind remembered her heart being so invested in me that no one else existed for her. She had been very young at the time and getting to spend so much time with me had been the happiest she had ever been in her life.
I didn't tell her that she had grown up into a beautiful young woman, or that her eyes were like pools of deep ocean water, or that her wavy black hair glistened like it had been kissed by moonlight. It was then that I realized how much Shanna looked like my sister. I hadn't made the connection before, because in my mind, my sister Jenny was still eight years old and hadn't grown up yet. The young woman in front of me? She was pretty much everything I was looking for.
Over the years after my official death, Jenny's devotion to me had faded almost completely away. She had been right, though. She never did give up on thinking I was still around. She was stubborn like that.
“Damon, I... I love you.” Jenny whispered, her heart beating so fast and loud that we could both hear it. “I always have.”
“We can never show it.” I said.
“But... in private... we...”
“No.” I said.
Jenny's eyes darted from my eyes to my lips, then back to my eyes, then to my lips and back. She licked her lips and then bit them slightly, which plumped them up a little and made them flush with blood.
“Jenny.” I said, a little sternly.
Jenny sighed and moved off of me, then she stood up. “Your stuff is over here.”
I followed her over to the closet and helped her rummage through the things she had to get the box. “She looked almost exactly like you do now.”
Jenny caught her breath and her face flushed red as she blushed. She pulled the box out of the closet and waved at me to take it to the bed. I carried it over and put it down. In a rare attempt to stay away from me, she sat on the other side of the box. I could see and almost feel her conflicting emotions. I sat there and didn't open the taped box and she looked up from it and at me.
I held my hand out to her and she took it without hesitation. We sat there for several minutes and just looked at each other. We both squeezed our hands at the same time, let go, then popped the tape off the box and opened it. It was time to look at the remains of my old life.
