As soon as the men had the canvasses all in the elevator, I was very glad that it was a huge elevator. There was barely enough room for me inside. Even the men were surprised when they had to stack the smaller ones up to fit them all in.
“Thanks a lot, guys.” I said and they waved as I let the elevator door shut. Once I was out of sight, I stored everything. There weren't any cameras in the service elevator, so I went back up to my apartment. I took out the sole pizza box I had left and ate two pieces from it. There was only one piece left, so I put it on a plate, wrapped it in plastic, and put it in the refrigerator.
I used the Cleaning Hands spell and sat down at the kitchen table to look over Nat's sketches. These are really nice. I thought and took my time as I went through them. Even the doodles had great ideas for both packaging and promotion. I chuckled. I am definitely getting more than my money's worth.
I took out the last bottle of pop I had and drank half of it, then thought about doing some enchanting work. My eyes kept dropping to the shape sketches and I just didn't want to enchant normal pendants anymore. That made me laugh, because now I was becoming a bit of a snob and going from 'this works' to 'I want it to look good and work'.
I walked over to the living room and sat down on the couch to watch some television. If I had any inkling of what was going to happen during Nat's lunch, she was going to be a while. I smiled and put it on a game show to give my brain some nice numbing waves of distraction.
*
“This is the place.” An agent said as they parked in front of Damon's building in the no parking zone.
“I can't believe we agreed to this.” His partner said as they stepped out of the government vehicle. “I don't want to mess with this guy.”
“We only came here to talk...”
“...and to arrest him if he doesn't come with us.”
“It shouldn't come to that, so don't act in a threatening manner.” The first agent said as they entered the building. His partner gave him an incredulous look as they rode the elevator up to the top floor. They didn't speak as they stepped out and walked over to the apartment door.
“I'm not even going to ask how he can have a penthouse apartment after the mess they made of his finances.” His partner said and knocked on the door. There was no sound or any indication that someone was approaching, then suddenly the door was pulled open.
“Abracadabra!” A tanned man with long black hair exclaimed and neither agent jumped at the scare.
“Damon Smith, we're here to talk.” One of the agents said. He knew what the man looked like, thanks to photos and video footage from the treasury building.
“Oh? Is this about my hundred million dollars in stolen gold?” Damon asked.
“Something like that.” The same agent said. “Can we come in?”
“Hell no.” Damon said. “Even if you had a search warrant, which neither of you have, I still wouldn't let you in.”
The two agents exchanged looks and looked back at him.
“It's a sensitive matter and discussing it in a hallway isn't going to...”
“...what? Keep it a secret?” I looked around. “Do you see any other doors or people around? I don't.”
“Would you step out and...”
“Double hell no.” Damon said. “As soon as I'm outside of my living space, that you can't enter without my permission or the warrant that you don't have, you could handcuff me and... I am not saying anything else in case it gives you ideas.”
“We are only trying to help you.”
“Ha ha... wait, you're not joking?” Damon looked at their serious faces. “Do you think I'm an idiot or something? I'm not falling for that crap.”
“Sir, our boss...”
“What's his name?” Damon asked and neither of them spoke. “Is it on your phones? Can you give him a call and tell him to stop messing with me?”
“You are involved in two serious crimes concerning the other agents that were involved in...”
“Just two crimes?” Damon asked. “Oh! You mean the agent being shot by his spurned lover and their patron being shot by the other one. You don't have any evidence that I was involved.”
“You just admitted you were.” One of the agents said.
“Did I?” Damon asked with a knowing smile. “Are you recording me without my permission?”
“We're required to record all of our encounters.”
“Did you record the one where you get assigned to find me?” Damon asked and neither spoke. “I'll try and find it later when I look through it, assuming you even bothered to record it.” He smiled. “Now I'm wondering if I run GPS apps on your phones, will I be able to follow you back to your office and your boss?”
“You can find out first hand and come with us.”
“No, thanks. I'm busy today and don't want to take another long drive. Also, I'd rather show up on my own terms and not in your tentative custody.”
“Sir, you shouldn't be treating this as a joke.” One of them said.
“It actually is a joke, considering how comically you bunch of idiots are handling things; but, I'm serious in saying that the more you come here to bother me, the more I am being bothered by it.”
“You cannot threaten agents of the government.”
“I didn't utter any threats and only implied that there are repercussions to your actions, just like you're doing to me.” Damon said. “So, is there anything else you want to say to further embarrass yourselves before you leave?”
“Sir, don't make us come back here with a warrant.”
“Go ahead and go get one. I want to see what kind of lies you can spout to get it.” Damon said. “You've already had me illegally detained and wrecked my life already.” He glared at them. “Let's see if you can do anything else. I dare you.”
A patriot song started to play and the agent reached for his cell phone, then was surprised when it wasn't in his pocket and the suspect had it.
“Just a swipe and no code to unlock? Sloppy.” Damon said and answered. “This is a stupid agent's phone. How can I help you?”
The agent thought about trying to grab the phone and decided against it.
“It's special agent secrecy stuff? Okay. Not a problem. Hold on, I'll put him on.” Damon pretended to hand the phone over and put it back to his ear. “Huh.”
Apparently the grunt was enough, because the two agents stood there and watched as Damon listened to whoever it was. He nodded his head a few times and then smiled.
“I got it. Bye.” Damon said in a low tone and hung up. “Guess what? You only have until suppertime to bring me back to Washington D.C. and to meet the director.” He chuckled. “It's too bad that I'm busy, isn't it? He's going to be so disappointed.”
“Sir, you need to come with us.” The agent said.
“Unless you think using excessive force and assaulting me is going to accomplish that, you're out of luck.” Damon said and held the phone in his hand.
“You're stealing government property.” The other agent said and motioned to the phone.
“What? You mean my phone?” Damon asked and the phone's make and model changed. “This is my phone.”
Both agents froze briefly, because they both saw it, then they both reached for their guns.
“I think you've overstayed your welcome.” Damon said as both men looked down to see that their holsters were empty. “Being a magician is great, isn't it? A little bit of hypnosis and people will believe anything.”
Both agents looked nervous and took a step back.
“Don't worry, fellas. It's not permanent. You might start clucking like a chicken when you report back to work, though.” Damon joked.
The agents exchanged concerned looks.
“If you want your things back, you can bark and beg like a dog.”
Neither agent took him up on that offer.
“Well, then. Have yourselves a good day.” Damon said and waved at the elevator. “Make sure to tell your supervisor or whoever told you to come here, that they need to leave me alone. They do not want me to add them into my plans as well.”
The cell phone in Damon's hand rang and he answered it.
“Hello?” Damon said and then he smiled. “That's wonderful news! Thank you so much, Mr. Graham.” He paused. “Actually, there's two agents right here in front of me and are trying to get me to go with them. Uh huh. Yes, they implied a threat with warrants and even tried to pull their guns when I still refused.” He paused again. “Sure. I'll put you on speaker. Go ahead.”
“To the two agents currently engaging in apprehension of this man, you are perpetuating an illegal action from a former member of the treasury. I've already called the director of the secret service with the evidence of this man's wrongful detention and interrogation. He is passing a mandate down now to your supervisors. You should be receiving a call within the next half an hour about ceasing all activity concerning Damon Smith.”
“Why should we believe this?” One of the agents asked. “That could be anyone on the phone.”
“I refuse to give my security clearance over an open phone line.” Mr. Graham said. “I've seen all of the footage that your fellow agent recorded with his button camera. What they did to this man was despicable and reprehensible. No person should be subjected to what happened and I will be personally auditing all of the cases your agency have handled over the last three years, since that is the statute of limitations on such crimes of violating someone's personal liberties.”
Both agents looked surprised and didn't know what to say.
“Mr. Smith, did you disarm them?”
“Yes. I didn't want to be held at gunpoint.”
“Remove and keep the clips from them and return the guns. I'll add the loss of two magazines to the file.”
“Are you sure? I don't want retaliation for this.” Damon said.
“Don't worry. I've taken steps to fix it all.”
“Thanks a lot.” Damon said. “Any luck with the gold situation?”
“None, I'm afraid. I believe the agent was telling the truth when he said it was gone as soon as it entered custody.”
“Well, damn.” Damon said. “There's no chance for reimbursement either.”
“Unfortunately, seized goods fall under a grey area, which usually involves conversion to proper assets to benefit the government and in some cases, disposal.” Mr. Graham said. “I'm sorry.”
“Thanks for doing everything you can, even knowing I wouldn't get it back.”
“You're a more forgiving person than I am.” Mr. Graham said. “Good day.”
“Good day.” Damon said and hung up. He slipped the phone into a back pocket and took out a service pistol. He examined the gun while also trying to keep an eye on the two agents.
“The release in on the top of the hand grip by the trigger.” One of the agents said.
Damon found it and popped the clip out, tucked the clip into his waistband, and tossed the gun to the agent that spoke. He did the same to the other gun and tossed it to the other agent.
“Have yourselves a good day.” Damon said.
“Our cell phones.” One of the agents said. “We need them to get the call.”
Damon looked like he wasn't going to comply, then he sighed and took them out of his pockets and handed them over. “You're lucky I'm such a nice guy.”
Both agents stared at each other for a moment and looked back at him.
“I could have broken them or tossed them out.” Damon said and waved towards the elevator. “You can see yourselves out.”
The agents took their phones and went to the elevator. They rode it down to the ground floor and went outside to their car. When the one who was driving reached for the keys, his hand met an empty pocket.
“Goddammit. He has the keys.” The agent said.
The two of them stood there, not knowing what to do. They both heard a whistling sound approach and reacted on instinct. They jumped back from the car and took defensive stances. A second later, a loud metallic clang was heard and the sound of dented metal filled their ears as the front of the car moved slightly. Both agents jumped slightly, then they both cautiously approached it.
Inside a large dent in the hood of the car was the set of keys.
As soon as the men had the canvasses all in the elevator, I was very glad that it was a huge elevator. There was barely enough room for me inside. Even the men were surprised when they had to stack the smaller ones up to fit them all in.
“Thanks a lot, guys.” I said and they waved as I let the elevator door shut. Once I was out of sight, I stored everything. There weren't any cameras in the service elevator, so I went back up to my apartment. I took out the sole pizza box I had left and ate two pieces from it. There was only one piece left, so I put it on a plate, wrapped it in plastic, and put it in the refrigerator.
I used the Cleaning Hands spell and sat down at the kitchen table to look over Nat's sketches. These are really nice. I thought and took my time as I went through them. Even the doodles had great ideas for both packaging and promotion. I chuckled. I am definitely getting more than my money's worth.
I took out the last bottle of pop I had and drank half of it, then thought about doing some enchanting work. My eyes kept dropping to the shape sketches and I just didn't want to enchant normal pendants anymore. That made me laugh, because now I was becoming a bit of a snob and going from 'this works' to 'I want it to look good and work'.
I walked over to the living room and sat down on the couch to watch some television. If I had any inkling of what was going to happen during Nat's lunch, she was going to be a while. I smiled and put it on a game show to give my brain some nice numbing waves of distraction.
*
“This is the place.” An agent said as they parked in front of Damon's building in the no parking zone.
“I can't believe we agreed to this.” His partner said as they stepped out of the government vehicle. “I don't want to mess with this guy.”
“We only came here to talk...”
“...and to arrest him if he doesn't come with us.”
“It shouldn't come to that, so don't act in a threatening manner.” The first agent said as they entered the building. His partner gave him an incredulous look as they rode the elevator up to the top floor. They didn't speak as they stepped out and walked over to the apartment door.
“I'm not even going to ask how he can have a penthouse apartment after the mess they made of his finances.” His partner said and knocked on the door. There was no sound or any indication that someone was approaching, then suddenly the door was pulled open.
“Abracadabra!” A tanned man with long black hair exclaimed and neither agent jumped at the scare.
“Damon Smith, we're here to talk.” One of the agents said. He knew what the man looked like, thanks to photos and video footage from the treasury building.
“Oh? Is this about my hundred million dollars in stolen gold?” Damon asked.
“Something like that.” The same agent said. “Can we come in?”
“Hell no.” Damon said. “Even if you had a search warrant, which neither of you have, I still wouldn't let you in.”
The two agents exchanged looks and looked back at him.
“It's a sensitive matter and discussing it in a hallway isn't going to...”
“...what? Keep it a secret?” I looked around. “Do you see any other doors or people around? I don't.”
“Would you step out and...”
“Double hell no.” Damon said. “As soon as I'm outside of my living space, that you can't enter without my permission or the warrant that you don't have, you could handcuff me and... I am not saying anything else in case it gives you ideas.”
“We are only trying to help you.”
“Ha ha... wait, you're not joking?” Damon looked at their serious faces. “Do you think I'm an idiot or something? I'm not falling for that crap.”
“Sir, our boss...”
“What's his name?” Damon asked and neither of them spoke. “Is it on your phones? Can you give him a call and tell him to stop messing with me?”
“You are involved in two serious crimes concerning the other agents that were involved in...”
“Just two crimes?” Damon asked. “Oh! You mean the agent being shot by his spurned lover and their patron being shot by the other one. You don't have any evidence that I was involved.”
“You just admitted you were.” One of the agents said.
“Did I?” Damon asked with a knowing smile. “Are you recording me without my permission?”
“We're required to record all of our encounters.”
“Did you record the one where you get assigned to find me?” Damon asked and neither spoke. “I'll try and find it later when I look through it, assuming you even bothered to record it.” He smiled. “Now I'm wondering if I run GPS apps on your phones, will I be able to follow you back to your office and your boss?”
“You can find out first hand and come with us.”
“No, thanks. I'm busy today and don't want to take another long drive. Also, I'd rather show up on my own terms and not in your tentative custody.”
“Sir, you shouldn't be treating this as a joke.” One of them said.
“It actually is a joke, considering how comically you bunch of idiots are handling things; but, I'm serious in saying that the more you come here to bother me, the more I am being bothered by it.”
“You cannot threaten agents of the government.”
“I didn't utter any threats and only implied that there are repercussions to your actions, just like you're doing to me.” Damon said. “So, is there anything else you want to say to further embarrass yourselves before you leave?”
“Sir, don't make us come back here with a warrant.”
“Go ahead and go get one. I want to see what kind of lies you can spout to get it.” Damon said. “You've already had me illegally detained and wrecked my life already.” He glared at them. “Let's see if you can do anything else. I dare you.”
A patriot song started to play and the agent reached for his cell phone, then was surprised when it wasn't in his pocket and the suspect had it.
“Just a swipe and no code to unlock? Sloppy.” Damon said and answered. “This is a stupid agent's phone. How can I help you?”
The agent thought about trying to grab the phone and decided against it.
“It's special agent secrecy stuff? Okay. Not a problem. Hold on, I'll put him on.” Damon pretended to hand the phone over and put it back to his ear. “Huh.”
Apparently the grunt was enough, because the two agents stood there and watched as Damon listened to whoever it was. He nodded his head a few times and then smiled.
“I got it. Bye.” Damon said in a low tone and hung up. “Guess what? You only have until suppertime to bring me back to Washington D.C. and to meet the director.” He chuckled. “It's too bad that I'm busy, isn't it? He's going to be so disappointed.”
“Sir, you need to come with us.” The agent said.
“Unless you think using excessive force and assaulting me is going to accomplish that, you're out of luck.” Damon said and held the phone in his hand.
“You're stealing government property.” The other agent said and motioned to the phone.
“What? You mean my phone?” Damon asked and the phone's make and model changed. “This is my phone.”
Both agents froze briefly, because they both saw it, then they both reached for their guns.
“I think you've overstayed your welcome.” Damon said as both men looked down to see that their holsters were empty. “Being a magician is great, isn't it? A little bit of hypnosis and people will believe anything.”
Both agents looked nervous and took a step back.
“Don't worry, fellas. It's not permanent. You might start clucking like a chicken when you report back to work, though.” Damon joked.
The agents exchanged concerned looks.
“If you want your things back, you can bark and beg like a dog.”
Neither agent took him up on that offer.
“Well, then. Have yourselves a good day.” Damon said and waved at the elevator. “Make sure to tell your supervisor or whoever told you to come here, that they need to leave me alone. They do not want me to add them into my plans as well.”
The cell phone in Damon's hand rang and he answered it.
“Hello?” Damon said and then he smiled. “That's wonderful news! Thank you so much, Mr. Graham.” He paused. “Actually, there's two agents right here in front of me and are trying to get me to go with them. Uh huh. Yes, they implied a threat with warrants and even tried to pull their guns when I still refused.” He paused again. “Sure. I'll put you on speaker. Go ahead.”
“To the two agents currently engaging in apprehension of this man, you are perpetuating an illegal action from a former member of the treasury. I've already called the director of the secret service with the evidence of this man's wrongful detention and interrogation. He is passing a mandate down now to your supervisors. You should be receiving a call within the next half an hour about ceasing all activity concerning Damon Smith.”
“Why should we believe this?” One of the agents asked. “That could be anyone on the phone.”
“I refuse to give my security clearance over an open phone line.” Mr. Graham said. “I've seen all of the footage that your fellow agent recorded with his button camera. What they did to this man was despicable and reprehensible. No person should be subjected to what happened and I will be personally auditing all of the cases your agency have handled over the last three years, since that is the statute of limitations on such crimes of violating someone's personal liberties.”
Both agents looked surprised and didn't know what to say.
“Mr. Smith, did you disarm them?”
“Yes. I didn't want to be held at gunpoint.”
“Remove and keep the clips from them and return the guns. I'll add the loss of two magazines to the file.”
“Are you sure? I don't want retaliation for this.” Damon said.
“Don't worry. I've taken steps to fix it all.”
“Thanks a lot.” Damon said. “Any luck with the gold situation?”
“None, I'm afraid. I believe the agent was telling the truth when he said it was gone as soon as it entered custody.”
“Well, damn.” Damon said. “There's no chance for reimbursement either.”
“Unfortunately, seized goods fall under a grey area, which usually involves conversion to proper assets to benefit the government and in some cases, disposal.” Mr. Graham said. “I'm sorry.”
“Thanks for doing everything you can, even knowing I wouldn't get it back.”
“You're a more forgiving person than I am.” Mr. Graham said. “Good day.”
“Good day.” Damon said and hung up. He slipped the phone into a back pocket and took out a service pistol. He examined the gun while also trying to keep an eye on the two agents.
“The release in on the top of the hand grip by the trigger.” One of the agents said.
Damon found it and popped the clip out, tucked the clip into his waistband, and tossed the gun to the agent that spoke. He did the same to the other gun and tossed it to the other agent.
“Have yourselves a good day.” Damon said.
“Our cell phones.” One of the agents said. “We need them to get the call.”
Damon looked like he wasn't going to comply, then he sighed and took them out of his pockets and handed them over. “You're lucky I'm such a nice guy.”
Both agents stared at each other for a moment and looked back at him.
“I could have broken them or tossed them out.” Damon said and waved towards the elevator. “You can see yourselves out.”
The agents took their phones and went to the elevator. They rode it down to the ground floor and went outside to their car. When the one who was driving reached for the keys, his hand met an empty pocket.
“Goddammit. He has the keys.” The agent said.
The two of them stood there, not knowing what to do. They both heard a whistling sound approach and reacted on instinct. They jumped back from the car and took defensive stances. A second later, a loud metallic clang was heard and the sound of dented metal filled their ears as the front of the car moved slightly. Both agents jumped slightly, then they both cautiously approached it.
Inside a large dent in the hood of the car was the set of keys.
