Chapter 290: The Story Of Gar's Heart
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AARYN
Aaryn was still frozen in shock around the corner in the entry to the cave, listening for the moment when Reth and Gar would actually try to kill each other.
Gar's voice was tumbling deeper—a sign he was ready to shift—and the sound of hands on chests, of feet shuffling into fighting stance made Aaryn nervous. Would he intervene if they actually came to blows?
But he'd never had to make the decision. Reth had roared at his son to show some respect, and Gar had laughed.
"You're so fucking used to being adored. Fucking worshipped, Dad! Well guess what? I live with you! I know the real you. And you aren't are perfect as they all think. So you can walk out there and believe the ass lickers if you want, but I don't!"
"I never claimed to be perfect, Gar, and you know it."
"Bullshit! Everyone in this fucking kingdom treats you like the sun shines out of your ass and you let them! But they don't see this, do they, Dad? They don't see you snarling at me about wine and women and respect—I know about you, you know! I know what a man-whore you were before Mom! I know that the only reason the wolves even revolted was because you fucked their sacrifice before the Rite. Because everyone belongs to you, right? You can do whatever you want and it doesn't matter—you still win. You still get your own way. Well I'm not giving you what you want! I'm not you, Dad, and I never want to be. So you can kiss my ass!"
Reth had roared and Aaryn almost ran into the cave to stop him from killing his son, but instead of shifting, instead of the sound of breaking porcelain and bodies colliding, Arryn heard the King snarl, "Keep it up you fucking little weasel. You think it's funny now when you're under my protection, when you're the King's son? Well, wait until you're your own male and the world expects something of you. You'll find out then who's the real male here—who has the real heart. Where worth comes from. Because you're right, Gar, I'm not perfect. I made some big mistakes in my life. But the one thing I always was, was necessary. People needed me. They wanted me around. They asked for me to be there because I made them feel safer. Do you know how that feels? Huh? No you don't. Sitting here in your Dad's cave, with your parents' support, using your Creator-given strength for nothing but drinking and fucking. Well, I'm done trying to protect you from yourself. If you're big enough to tell the King to go fuck himself, then you can be big enough to find out what happens when the King doesn't protect you anymore.
"Welcome to adulthood, Gar. Where everyone has a purpose and a role to play—you want people to respect the way you think and who you are? You can fucking earn it you lazy little shit."
There was a shuffling sound as if someone started to move, and Reth's voice got louder. "That's right, run away again. Go hide. Go drink yourself into oblivion again. We don't need your brand of bullshit here. At least your sister can be relied on."
The silence that rang in the cave after that seemed to go on forever and made Aaryn's stomach sick.
It was broken by a heavy sigh and Reth's voice again—deeper now, and heavy with regret. "Gar, I'm sorry that was wrong—"
"Don't fucking touch me!"
Footsteps pounded across the stone floor of the cave and Aaryn, frozen in horror, was suddenly faced with Gar, who pulled up short in the shock of finding him there, both of them gaping and wide-eyed.
Aaryn didn't miss that Gar's eyes were shot through with red and shining.
Then his best friend's not-so-little brother snarled, "If you breathe a word of this to El—"
"I won't!" Aaryn gulped. "I won't, Gar. I won't say anything."
Then Gar shoved past him and ran, leaping into his beast at the mouth of the cave, just as Reth made it to Aaryn's side and slumped, shaking his head.
"How much did you hear?" the King asked Aaryn a moment later, both of them watching Gar gallop into the trees on the other side of the meadow.
"Enough," Aaryn said, his guts roiling with conflicting emotions. Reth was his… his what? His King, certainly. The father of his best friend. Something—someone—Aaryn had always envied. Not because he wanted to be Reth. Not all.
Aaryn had just always wished he had Reth as a dad. He'd been jealous of El and Gar for years. And more than once had imagined how much of a better son he'd be than Gar, if he'd had the chance.
Now… now he wasn't so sure.
"That was poorly done of me. Very, very poorly done," Reth muttered and dropped his face in his hands. "I don't know why, but he's always pushed my buttons in a way no one else does." Reth squinted out into the meadow.
"It's because he's just like you," Aaryn blurted, then almost swallowed his own tongue.
Reth turned on him, eyes wide and brows pinched together. "I am many things, Aaryn. But I don't think I've had an irresponsible day in my life. As the son of the King, I wasn't allowed." The emphasis implied that Gar, however, was.
They stared at each other, Aaryn's mind turning over that statement—if Reth never had a day of irresponsibility… how come Gar got to have them? Gar was the son of a King, too.
Then Reth's head snapped back in the direction Gar had disappeared. "Maybe that's the problem," he murmured. "Gar gets to be a cub. And I think… I'm jealous."
Aaryn blinked. "What?"
Reth shook his head and raked a large hand through his hair. "It's no excuse, but… I didn't want my cubs to carry the weight I carried when I was young. I was effectively an adult by the age of twelve. I wanted my kids to have a chance to just live their lives. But Elreth's always been drawn to leadership, so she decided to grow up without me asking it of her. She's always just… wanted responsibility. Gar, though. I guess I thought he'd be more like his sister as he got older. And maybe it's time to accept that he's not."
Aaryn's stomach trilled with nerves, but he made himself say it. "Maybe… maybe that's a good thing? I'm not sure the world is ready for two Elreths."
Reth's laughter—tinged with an edge of sadness—boomed through the cave and out into the meadow, and Aaryn smiled uncertainly with him.
"Thank you, son," Reth said, clapping him on the shoulder. "I needed that."
Aaryn nodded and, unable to bear the awkwardness any longer, bid Reth goodbye, then turned to leave. But as the King sighed and walked back into the cave, there was something in Aaryn's gut still burning. He turned it over as he crossed the meadow and walked the trail to the Tree City, trying to figure out what it was.
It wasn't until he'd been home for a while though, that he thought he had it.
Maybe Reth didn't need another son. But Aaryn was pretty sure Gar needed a brother.
***** PRIVILEGE WARNING *****
Don't forget: Don't buy any expensive privilege tiers now, because the whole system resets on 1 November (31 October if you're in the USA) and then will require you to re-purchase! So save your money until Halloween to buy privilege ONCE and enjoy your advance reading all month!
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AARYN
Aaryn was still frozen in shock around the corner in the entry to the cave, listening for the moment when Reth and Gar would actually try to kill each other.
Gar's voice was tumbling deeper—a sign he was ready to shift—and the sound of hands on chests, of feet shuffling into fighting stance made Aaryn nervous. Would he intervene if they actually came to blows?
But he'd never had to make the decision. Reth had roared at his son to show some respect, and Gar had laughed.
"You're so fucking used to being adored. Fucking worshipped, Dad! Well guess what? I live with you! I know the real you. And you aren't are perfect as they all think. So you can walk out there and believe the ass lickers if you want, but I don't!"
"I never claimed to be perfect, Gar, and you know it."
"Bullshit! Everyone in this fucking kingdom treats you like the sun shines out of your ass and you let them! But they don't see this, do they, Dad? They don't see you snarling at me about wine and women and respect—I know about you, you know! I know what a man-whore you were before Mom! I know that the only reason the wolves even revolted was because you fucked their sacrifice before the Rite. Because everyone belongs to you, right? You can do whatever you want and it doesn't matter—you still win. You still get your own way. Well I'm not giving you what you want! I'm not you, Dad, and I never want to be. So you can kiss my ass!"
Reth had roared and Aaryn almost ran into the cave to stop him from killing his son, but instead of shifting, instead of the sound of breaking porcelain and bodies colliding, Arryn heard the King snarl, "Keep it up you fucking little weasel. You think it's funny now when you're under my protection, when you're the King's son? Well, wait until you're your own male and the world expects something of you. You'll find out then who's the real male here—who has the real heart. Where worth comes from. Because you're right, Gar, I'm not perfect. I made some big mistakes in my life. But the one thing I always was, was necessary. People needed me. They wanted me around. They asked for me to be there because I made them feel safer. Do you know how that feels? Huh? No you don't. Sitting here in your Dad's cave, with your parents' support, using your Creator-given strength for nothing but drinking and fucking. Well, I'm done trying to protect you from yourself. If you're big enough to tell the King to go fuck himself, then you can be big enough to find out what happens when the King doesn't protect you anymore.
"Welcome to adulthood, Gar. Where everyone has a purpose and a role to play—you want people to respect the way you think and who you are? You can fucking earn it you lazy little shit."
There was a shuffling sound as if someone started to move, and Reth's voice got louder. "That's right, run away again. Go hide. Go drink yourself into oblivion again. We don't need your brand of bullshit here. At least your sister can be relied on."
The silence that rang in the cave after that seemed to go on forever and made Aaryn's stomach sick.
It was broken by a heavy sigh and Reth's voice again—deeper now, and heavy with regret. "Gar, I'm sorry that was wrong—"
"Don't fucking touch me!"
Footsteps pounded across the stone floor of the cave and Aaryn, frozen in horror, was suddenly faced with Gar, who pulled up short in the shock of finding him there, both of them gaping and wide-eyed.
Aaryn didn't miss that Gar's eyes were shot through with red and shining.
Then his best friend's not-so-little brother snarled, "If you breathe a word of this to El—"
"I won't!" Aaryn gulped. "I won't, Gar. I won't say anything."
Then Gar shoved past him and ran, leaping into his beast at the mouth of the cave, just as Reth made it to Aaryn's side and slumped, shaking his head.
"How much did you hear?" the King asked Aaryn a moment later, both of them watching Gar gallop into the trees on the other side of the meadow.
"Enough," Aaryn said, his guts roiling with conflicting emotions. Reth was his… his what? His King, certainly. The father of his best friend. Something—someone—Aaryn had always envied. Not because he wanted to be Reth. Not all.
Aaryn had just always wished he had Reth as a dad. He'd been jealous of El and Gar for years. And more than once had imagined how much of a better son he'd be than Gar, if he'd had the chance.
Now… now he wasn't so sure.
"That was poorly done of me. Very, very poorly done," Reth muttered and dropped his face in his hands. "I don't know why, but he's always pushed my buttons in a way no one else does." Reth squinted out into the meadow.
"It's because he's just like you," Aaryn blurted, then almost swallowed his own tongue.
Reth turned on him, eyes wide and brows pinched together. "I am many things, Aaryn. But I don't think I've had an irresponsible day in my life. As the son of the King, I wasn't allowed." The emphasis implied that Gar, however, was.
They stared at each other, Aaryn's mind turning over that statement—if Reth never had a day of irresponsibility… how come Gar got to have them? Gar was the son of a King, too.
Then Reth's head snapped back in the direction Gar had disappeared. "Maybe that's the problem," he murmured. "Gar gets to be a cub. And I think… I'm jealous."
Aaryn blinked. "What?"
Reth shook his head and raked a large hand through his hair. "It's no excuse, but… I didn't want my cubs to carry the weight I carried when I was young. I was effectively an adult by the age of twelve. I wanted my kids to have a chance to just live their lives. But Elreth's always been drawn to leadership, so she decided to grow up without me asking it of her. She's always just… wanted responsibility. Gar, though. I guess I thought he'd be more like his sister as he got older. And maybe it's time to accept that he's not."
Aaryn's stomach trilled with nerves, but he made himself say it. "Maybe… maybe that's a good thing? I'm not sure the world is ready for two Elreths."
Reth's laughter—tinged with an edge of sadness—boomed through the cave and out into the meadow, and Aaryn smiled uncertainly with him.
"Thank you, son," Reth said, clapping him on the shoulder. "I needed that."
Aaryn nodded and, unable to bear the awkwardness any longer, bid Reth goodbye, then turned to leave. But as the King sighed and walked back into the cave, there was something in Aaryn's gut still burning. He turned it over as he crossed the meadow and walked the trail to the Tree City, trying to figure out what it was.
It wasn't until he'd been home for a while though, that he thought he had it.
Maybe Reth didn't need another son. But Aaryn was pretty sure Gar needed a brother.
***** PRIVILEGE WARNING *****
Don't forget: Don't buy any expensive privilege tiers now, because the whole system resets on 1 November (31 October if you're in the USA) and then will require you to re-purchase! So save your money until Halloween to buy privilege ONCE and enjoy your advance reading all month!
AARYNAaryn was still frozen in shock around the corner in the entry to the cave, listening for the moment when Reth and Gar would actually try to kill each other.Gar's voice was tumbling deepera sign he was ready to shiftand the sound of hands on chests, of feet shuffling into fighting stance made Aaryn nervous. Would he intervene if they actually came to blows?But he'd never had to make the decision. Reth had roared at his son to show some respect, and Gar had laughed."You're so fucking used to being adored. Fucking worshipped, Dad! Well guess what? I live with you! I know the real you. And you aren't are perfect as they all think. So you can walk out there and believe the ass lickers if you want, but I don't!""I never claimed to be perfect, Gar, and you know it.""Bullshit! Everyone in this fucking kingdom treats you like the sun shines out of your ass and you let them! But they don't see this, do they, Dad? They don't see you snarling at me about wine and women and respectI know about you, you know! I know what a man-whore you were before Mom! I know that the only reason the wolves even revolted was because you fucked their sacrifice before the Rite. Because everyone belongs to you, right? You can do whatever you want and it doesn't matteryou still win. You still get your own way. Well I'm not giving you what you want! I'm not you, Dad, and I never want to be. So you can kiss my ass!"Reth had roared and Aaryn almost ran into the cave to stop him from killing his son, but instead of shifting, instead of the sound of breaking porcelain and bodies colliding, Arryn heard the King snarl, "Keep it up you fucking little weasel. You think it's funny now when you're under my protection, when you're the King's son? Well, wait until you're your own male and the world expects something of you. You'll find out then who's the real male herewho has the real heart. Where worth comes from. Because you're right, Gar, I'm not perfect. I made some big mistakes in my life. But the one thing I always was, was necessary. People needed me. They wanted me around. They asked for me to be there because I made them feel safer. Do you know how that feels? Huh? No you don't. Sitting here in your Dad's cave, with your parents' support, using your Creator-given strength for nothing but drinking and fucking. Well, I'm done trying to protect you from yourself. If you're big enough to tell the King to go fuck himself, then you can be big enough to find out what happens when the King doesn't protect you anymore."Welcome to adulthood, Gar. Where everyone has a purpose and a role to playyou want people to respect the way you think and who you are? You can fucking earn it you lazy little shit."There was a shuffling sound as if someone started to move, and Reth's voice got louder. "That's right, run away again. Go hide. Go drink yourself into oblivion again. We don't need your brand of bullshit here. At least your sister can be relied on."The silence that rang in the cave after that seemed to go on forever and made Aaryn's stomach sick.It was broken by a heavy sigh and Reth's voice againdeeper now, and heavy with regret. "Gar, I'm sorry that was wrong""Don't fucking touch me!"Footsteps pounded across the stone floor of the cave and Aaryn, frozen in horror, was suddenly faced with Gar, who pulled up short in the shock of finding him there, both of them gaping and wide-eyed.Aaryn didn't miss that Gar's eyes were shot through with red and shining.Then his best friend's not-so-little brother snarled, "If you breathe a word of this to El""I won't!" Aaryn gulped. "I won't, Gar. I won't say anything."Then Gar shoved past him and ran, leaping into his beast at the mouth of the cave, just as Reth made it to Aaryn's side and slumped, shaking his head."How much did you hear?" the King asked Aaryn a moment later, both of them watching Gar gallop into the trees on the other side of the meadow."Enough," Aaryn said, his guts roiling with conflicting emotions. Reth was his his what? His King, certainly. The father of his best friend. SomethingsomeoneAaryn had always envied. Not because he wanted to be Reth. Not all.Aaryn had just always wished he had Reth as a dad. He'd been jealous of El and Gar for years. And more than once had imagined how much of a better son he'd be than Gar, if he'd had the chance.Now now he wasn't so sure."That was poorly done of me. Very, very poorly done," Reth muttered and dropped his face in his hands. "I don't know why, but he's always pushed my buttons in a way no one else does." Reth squinted out into the meadow."It's because he's just like you," Aaryn blurted, then almost swallowed his own tongue.Reth turned on him, eyes wide and brows pinched together. "I am many things, Aaryn. But I don't think I've had an irresponsible day in my life. As the son of the King, I wasn't allowed." The emphasis implied that Gar, however, was.They stared at each other, Aaryn's mind turning over that statementif Reth never had a day of irresponsibility how come Gar got to have them? Gar was the son of a King, too.Then Reth's head snapped back in the direction Gar had disappeared. "Maybe that's the problem," he murmured. "Gar gets to be a cub. And I think I'm jealous."Aaryn blinked. "What?"Reth shook his head and raked a large hand through his hair. "It's no excuse, but I didn't want my cubs to carry the weight I carried when I was young. I was effectively an adult by the age of twelve. I wanted my kids to have a chance to just live their lives. But Elreth's always been drawn to leadership, so she decided to grow up without me asking it of her. She's always just wanted responsibility. Gar, though. I guess I thought he'd be more like his sister as he got older. And maybe it's time to accept that he's not."Aaryn's stomach trilled with nerves, but he made himself say it. "Maybe maybe that's a good thing? I'm not sure the world is ready for two Elreths."Reth's laughtertinged with an edge of sadnessboomed through the cave and out into the meadow, and Aaryn smiled uncertainly with him."Thank you, son," Reth said, clapping him on the shoulder. "I needed that."Aaryn nodded and, unable to bear the awkwardness any longer, bid Reth goodbye, then turned to leave. But as the King sighed and walked back into the cave, there was something in Aaryn's gut still burning. He turned it over as he crossed the meadow and walked the trail to the Tree City, trying to figure out what it was.It wasn't until he'd been home for a while though, that he thought he had it.Maybe Reth didn't need another son. But Aaryn was pretty sure Gar needed a brother.***** PRIVILEGE WARNING *****Don't forget: Don't buy any expensive privilege tiers now, because the whole system resets on 1 November 31 October if you're in the USA and then will require you to re-purchase! So save your money until Halloween to buy privilege ONCE and enjoy your advance reading all month!
