“Should we hurry back?”
Three pairs of eyes, one curious, one serious, one angry, stared back at me. I kept up a fairly decent poker face, I hoped. Internally, I was wincing. I didn’t want to stand out at all, just be a fly on the wall. Sadly, my damn morals got in the way.
“We killed the Mage’s… pet? Whatever. We killed what had been killing the lost patrols. I’m worried they might attack the village.”
My intuition had screamed at me earlier, just a gut feeling. But for all I knew with this body and in this world, I could be psychic or a prophet. I had a bad feeling.
“You’re going to make me run.” There was very extra form of pure vitriol in Riary’s voice. I understood, I agree, I am a bastard. Running sucked. I’m still not going to drink your piss again for it, feel free to light me on fire though.
“We should hurry, just in case.” Tyler announced.
And then we were moving. I knew we were fast, I had seen it with my own two eyes after all, felt the way time seemed to slow when adrenaline was pumping and it was time for ‘battle mode’. But it was a completely different thing to run through a grassy field that took you hours to walk and feel how fast you were going.
It was so God damn fast.
I felt my feet hit the grass, my legs pumping, as everything zoomed past. But it wasn’t a blur. That aspect, more than anything, was jarring. My eyes could look over and see and track the grass. I could see flower petals floating in the wind. My vision wasn’t impeded by the speeds at all. It was like I was looking at a still field or even a slow moving camera. That was…. more than a little unnatural.
Even a slight jog and the things around a human go blurry. My perception had been in enhanced but it had always been passive. It wasn’t like I was exactly turning things on and off, it was like I had just never realized I hadn’t been focusing on anything.
And yet the three people in front of me were even faster. They were ahead of me and they were clearly pacing themselves, no, this couldn’t even really be called that. They were just, moving faster. No different from walking quickly it seemed.
I caught up, and they sped up. Alright, I got it, you don’t know how fast I am. Don’t want to leave me behind in the dust.
Well, I don’t know how fast I am either.
It almost became a race.
I move faster, they speed up, I move faster, they speed up.
Faster, faster.
The world had started to blur at this point, my speed outpacing my perception.
Faster. Faster!
FASTER!
My heart was pumping, my soul was crying. But it wasn’t in pure joy. Oh it had started pleasant enough and now, I was feeling a need, an incredible need to let loose and just lose control. To run a full blown sprint and damn the consequences.
I let myself go.
I sprinted past The Heroes, leaving them behind. And I kept running, going faster and faster. What had been hours of walking was being eaten up fast, but it would still take a while before I got to the village.
I had never cared for running but I was feeling the high I’d always heard about. Stress, stress, more stress, and more stress. When was the last time my heart had pumped like this? Only in terrible situations. Always in terrible situations. A mind destroyed, a sword coming at me, being bathed in fire. Celena had helped but I wasn’t okay. I don’t, I don’t understand how people fucking can be!
I don’t know anything about this damn world, I don’t have anyone or any kind of leg up either. I’m stronger than most normal people? Great! Where are they? I was here for less than a month and I’ve nearly died three times! I’m a prisoner being escorted out of a damn country! And it’s not like I know much about the next one I’m about to enter!
All at once, it felt like my stress exploded out of me. Faster. Faster.
Breaths heavy, feet slamming against dirt, sweat pouring from my body. Adrenaline coursing through me as I could hear my heartbeat slamming against my ear but for once not out of fear or tension.
I felt free, freer than I had felt in a long, long time. Weeks of a travel with a bitch that would like nothing more than to kill me and/or torture me, an awkward hero who gives me pitying and guilty looks of sympathy but otherwise stays silent, and a truth teller who can practically read minds and doesn’t care about me beyond the barebone basics.
Exhausting, stress. Stress.
Death around every corner, a world I don’t understand and never wanted to go to, a new body, a new race, I never wanted. The additions, the extra body parts, seemed more amusing than anything at first. But it all became so… glaring as time went by. A tail, horns, claws. But there was more. I could feel how my heart pumped differently, how my teeth were sharper than they should be, how my muscles seemed to stretch more than they should be able to, how I had little to no issue seeing in the dark, and more and more.
A hundred little things, all screaming an answer I knew.
‘You are no longer human. You’re a demon.’
Not just a new race either, my body was different. It wasn’t like I had magic that caused my strength. My muscles and bones were where that strength came from. I could feel it all. And it had never been so apparent, not even when I was ‘fighting’, till right now as my legs kicked at the ground.
Light as a feather yet heavy as a tank. I could feel the power from my muscles. Could feel what had allowed me to fight and kill over a dozen men, punch dents into steel, run faster than the fastest human on earth.
It was all so… wrong.
This wasn’t my body. This wasn’t my species. I only looked human. Hell, I had been to hell. My soul was literally remade. My mind was shattered and put back together. I didn’t just have body dysmorphia, I didn’t even know if I was me. I hadn’t even known I’d had a soul before it was broken and put back together differently. I could feel how my mind was different.
Soul, body, mind, which part was Derek Springer? Who was I? Am I still me? Was I, ever, me?
I hadn’t had the time to process! And even if I did, so what?! Were the feelings ever going to away? Could I ever be human again? Could I ever trust my mind and soul or body to go back their original states? Even if I found a way back to earth, who cares?! I still wouldn’t be me! But maybe I had never been me. These issues, they were all so familiar. I hated going through them a second time.
I was lost. I was afraid. Of myself. My existence was a continual existential crisis with no real answer.
The run brought it all surging back into me, all my anxieties and mental issues. And it broke.
It was like a release valve had been loosened. Yes, I wasn’t the same but so what? Faster. Yes, I was broken and put back but so what? Faster. Yes, my life had been turned upside down. Everything was awful and sucked and life couldn’t ever go back to what it was.
But so what?
Faster.
I wanted to scream and when I saw the Goblin Horde attacking the village, I didn’t hesitate one bit. I let out a scream of rage and frustration, of a lost and confused animal that been hurt too many times, and started ripping and tearing them to pieces.
****
“Huff, huff, how did he know?!” Tyler was panting, out of breath. Derek had been fast.
Even as he panted for air, he rushed into the melee. There was a massive Goblin Horde destroying the village. Weak, but not in those numbers. There had to be hundreds. Derek was already going through them like a knife through butter, but it wouldn’t be enough.
Thankfully, Fire Mages excelled at AOE.
“Burn.” Riary spoke.
And the Goblins burned.
“Should we hurry back?”
Three pairs of eyes, one curious, one serious, one angry, stared back at me. I kept up a fairly decent poker face, I hoped. Internally, I was wincing. I didn’t want to stand out at all, just be a fly on the wall. Sadly, my damn morals got in the way.
“We killed the Mage’s… pet? Whatever. We killed what had been killing the lost patrols. I’m worried they might attack the village.”
My intuition had screamed at me earlier, just a gut feeling. But for all I knew with this body and in this world, I could be psychic or a prophet. I had a bad feeling.
“You’re going to make me run.” There was very extra form of pure vitriol in Riary’s voice. I understood, I agree, I am a bastard. Running sucked. I’m still not going to drink your piss again for it, feel free to light me on fire though.
“We should hurry, just in case.” Tyler announced.
And then we were moving. I knew we were fast, I had seen it with my own two eyes after all, felt the way time seemed to slow when adrenaline was pumping and it was time for ‘battle mode’. But it was a completely different thing to run through a grassy field that took you hours to walk and feel how fast you were going.
It was so God damn fast.
I felt my feet hit the grass, my legs pumping, as everything zoomed past. But it wasn’t a blur. That aspect, more than anything, was jarring. My eyes could look over and see and track the grass. I could see flower petals floating in the wind. My vision wasn’t impeded by the speeds at all. It was like I was looking at a still field or even a slow moving camera. That was…. more than a little unnatural.
Even a slight jog and the things around a human go blurry. My perception had been in enhanced but it had always been passive. It wasn’t like I was exactly turning things on and off, it was like I had just never realized I hadn’t been focusing on anything.
And yet the three people in front of me were even faster. They were ahead of me and they were clearly pacing themselves, no, this couldn’t even really be called that. They were just, moving faster. No different from walking quickly it seemed.
I caught up, and they sped up. Alright, I got it, you don’t know how fast I am. Don’t want to leave me behind in the dust.
Well, I don’t know how fast I am either.
It almost became a race.
I move faster, they speed up, I move faster, they speed up.
Faster, faster.
The world had started to blur at this point, my speed outpacing my perception.
Faster. Faster!
FASTER!
My heart was pumping, my soul was crying. But it wasn’t in pure joy. Oh it had started pleasant enough and now, I was feeling a need, an incredible need to let loose and just lose control. To run a full blown sprint and damn the consequences.
I let myself go.
I sprinted past The Heroes, leaving them behind. And I kept running, going faster and faster. What had been hours of walking was being eaten up fast, but it would still take a while before I got to the village.
I had never cared for running but I was feeling the high I’d always heard about. Stress, stress, more stress, and more stress. When was the last time my heart had pumped like this? Only in terrible situations. Always in terrible situations. A mind destroyed, a sword coming at me, being bathed in fire. Celena had helped but I wasn’t okay. I don’t, I don’t understand how people fucking can be!
I don’t know anything about this damn world, I don’t have anyone or any kind of leg up either. I’m stronger than most normal people? Great! Where are they? I was here for less than a month and I’ve nearly died three times! I’m a prisoner being escorted out of a damn country! And it’s not like I know much about the next one I’m about to enter!
All at once, it felt like my stress exploded out of me. Faster. Faster.
Breaths heavy, feet slamming against dirt, sweat pouring from my body. Adrenaline coursing through me as I could hear my heartbeat slamming against my ear but for once not out of fear or tension.
I felt free, freer than I had felt in a long, long time. Weeks of a travel with a bitch that would like nothing more than to kill me and/or torture me, an awkward hero who gives me pitying and guilty looks of sympathy but otherwise stays silent, and a truth teller who can practically read minds and doesn’t care about me beyond the barebone basics.
Exhausting, stress. Stress.
Death around every corner, a world I don’t understand and never wanted to go to, a new body, a new race, I never wanted. The additions, the extra body parts, seemed more amusing than anything at first. But it all became so… glaring as time went by. A tail, horns, claws. But there was more. I could feel how my heart pumped differently, how my teeth were sharper than they should be, how my muscles seemed to stretch more than they should be able to, how I had little to no issue seeing in the dark, and more and more.
A hundred little things, all screaming an answer I knew.
‘You are no longer human. You’re a demon.’
Not just a new race either, my body was different. It wasn’t like I had magic that caused my strength. My muscles and bones were where that strength came from. I could feel it all. And it had never been so apparent, not even when I was ‘fighting’, till right now as my legs kicked at the ground.
Light as a feather yet heavy as a tank. I could feel the power from my muscles. Could feel what had allowed me to fight and kill over a dozen men, punch dents into steel, run faster than the fastest human on earth.
It was all so… wrong.
This wasn’t my body. This wasn’t my species. I only looked human. Hell, I had been to hell. My soul was literally remade. My mind was shattered and put back together. I didn’t just have body dysmorphia, I didn’t even know if I was me. I hadn’t even known I’d had a soul before it was broken and put back together differently. I could feel how my mind was different.
Soul, body, mind, which part was Derek Springer? Who was I? Am I still me? Was I, ever, me?
I hadn’t had the time to process! And even if I did, so what?! Were the feelings ever going to away? Could I ever be human again? Could I ever trust my mind and soul or body to go back their original states? Even if I found a way back to earth, who cares?! I still wouldn’t be me! But maybe I had never been me. These issues, they were all so familiar. I hated going through them a second time.
I was lost. I was afraid. Of myself. My existence was a continual existential crisis with no real answer.
The run brought it all surging back into me, all my anxieties and mental issues. And it broke.
It was like a release valve had been loosened. Yes, I wasn’t the same but so what? Faster. Yes, I was broken and put back but so what? Faster. Yes, my life had been turned upside down. Everything was awful and sucked and life couldn’t ever go back to what it was.
But so what?
Faster.
I wanted to scream and when I saw the Goblin Horde attacking the village, I didn’t hesitate one bit. I let out a scream of rage and frustration, of a lost and confused animal that been hurt too many times, and started ripping and tearing them to pieces.
****
“Huff, huff, how did he know?!” Tyler was panting, out of breath. Derek had been fast.
Even as he panted for air, he rushed into the melee. There was a massive Goblin Horde destroying the village. Weak, but not in those numbers. There had to be hundreds. Derek was already going through them like a knife through butter, but it wouldn’t be enough.
Thankfully, Fire Mages excelled at AOE.
“Burn.” Riary spoke.
And the Goblins burned.
