Chapter 418: 418
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What does death mean, what does cancer mean, does he really understand? Or, does Will really understand?
In the previous life, as Chu Jiashu, he once embraced the **** of death, not fear, not fear, but with a trace of relief, ten years of long torture and suffering, except for the sporadic moments of happiness, most of the time, he was there. Waiting for death to come. He was tired, he was just tired.
He knew that he was only thirty-two years old, and he was too young to die, really too young, and the Mood for Love was already withered before it even opened up. However, the endless life is always in place, and when it is declared over, he is happy.
Only at the moment when the darkness fell completely did his desire to survive burst out, like a comet sliding across the night sky, bursting out powerful energy instantly, but before it had time to release it, it had disappeared.
So, he started to run, sprinting constantly towards the gleam of light. The fear and threat of death is just a moment.
For Will, the same is true.
Even if the doctor diagnosed him, he suffered from cancer; even if his mother was worried about him and fell into a breakdown; even if his girlfriend left his life in a betrayal way because of cancer; even if the psychologist kept trying to enlighten him and let him vent his inner heart Emotions; even if a friend pulls him and uses cancer to strike up a conversation in a bar; even if everyone around him looks at him strangely, as if he is already a dead person...
However, he still has no sense of reality.
Cancer and death seem to be just a small change in life. He has to start chemotherapy. It's like he suddenly decided to go out to walk the dog every day. It's just that this "dog walking" place is quite special, fixed time and fixed. Location, fixed action. The desire to survive and the optimistic attitude are supporting him to go on. In addition, the changes in life never really hit him.
Those trivial details, accumulated bit by bit, changed his life pattern, invaded his living space, and affected his life style. He was scared, he was worried, he was restless, he was irritable, he could feel that his life was changing little by little, but he could not stop it, but after all, this change is not earth-shaking, he can step by step Back off, adjust, and compromise.
Until one day, the doctor told him that chemotherapy did not work, cancer cells were still spreading, surgery was the only option, success or failure. As a result, all the back roads were cut off, and he was forced into the corner without retreating. The quantitative change finally caused a qualitative change.
The sense of reality is like sparks hitting the earth, hitting his chest hard. The fork in the road is here. After closing his eyes, he may never open his eyes again. Moreover, it is not up to him to decide. He can only lie on the cold operating bed and wait for the judgment. Completely caught.
That kind of despair, that kind of anger, that kind of pain, that kind of sorrow, broke out earth-shaking. He hated the world, hated everyone around him, hated everything in life. He only knows one thing: he is not ready to accept death.
It's just a moment of time. Because, after that, Will's operation was successful and he was reborn. Will knows what cancer means and what death means, but after all, it is like a tide. After the high tide, the tide ebbs. In the passage of time, quietly withdrawing from the blood, the sense of reality disappears again.
Chu Jiashu is so, Will is so. The same is true for Adam in the script. On the plane from New York to Seattle, he already wanted to understand this, but he still didn't think thoroughly enough.
However, Adam was more at a loss than Chu Jiashu.
Because high paraplegia is real and immediate, Chu Jiashu can clearly feel that he has lost control of his limbs, but he is still at a loss, until he realizes that even the control of the bladder has been lost. , The sense of shame swallowed him, and the sense of reality became clear.
For Adam, the impact of cancer is slowly invading. He is adapting little by little, groping little by little. The budding of that emotion has a gradual process. Long and real.
But at the moment, when the doctor diagnosed, Adam was just at a loss and at a loss. What happened to "other people" suddenly happened to me, and I was at a loss.
There is not so much shock, not so much pain, not so much despair, not so many ups and downs, and not so many inheritance and transformation. Confused, just confused, the brain is blank and confused, and there is a little panic besides that, that's all.
This kind of performance is Chu Jiashu and Adam, but it shouldn't be Chu Jiashu, but Will and Adam. The boundary between reality and illusion has been completely disrupted. The previous life, this life, Will’s, Lanly’s, memories, scripts, and countless story fragments have been disrupted. He must sort out his thoughts and find To belong to Adam, the moment of confusion and panic.
Beyond the glass windows, there was a quiet, endless stream. Lan Li couldn't help but look farther away, and further away, the whole world became bigger and wider, as if there was no end in sight, it was endless.
But in his mind he couldn't help thinking, in the universe, is he like a dust, insignificant, so that his existence does not have any meaning; in other corners of the world, are there people? Facing a similar predicament as him, I don’t know how they dealt with it. Compared with cancer, the war-torn lives in the Middle East and Africa should be more sympathetic...
Eugene Sledge. When his faith was torn to pieces, when his soul escaped into darkness, when his life fell into silence, was death a relief for him, and was living a torment for him? Compared with the fragile lives that have disappeared on the battlefield, he at least still has the opportunity to fight hard, but how does he fight?
How high is the cure rate of cancer? What is the mortality rate? What kind of cancer is he suffering from? Why can't he remember it at all? That name is really hard to remember. He has never heard of it. There is a long list of letters. Hasn't even the doctor seen it before? Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
The focus of the line of sight began to become blurred, thoughts began to be unconstrained, and all kinds of thoughts swarmed in. A sound of "Baw" penetrated the glass wall and stung his ears. The thoughts soaring in the sky instantly gathered in, and the focus regrouped. Then he was stunned. What was he thinking about just now?
Yes, cancer. Wait, what kind of cancer is he? Which one is more terrifying, cancer or high paralysis? Which one is more cruel, cancer or war? Cancer is due to genetic mutations. What does this mean, God’s choice? Or is it God's abandonment?
Lost again, Lan Li lowered his head and looked at the cigarette in his hand. He was a little dazed: Shouldn't he smoke? After all, you have cancer. In order to survive, you should be healthier. Wait, or should he start smoking? It’s because of cancer, and life has not been long anyway. If you don’t enjoy it at this time and don’t want to, will there be no chance in the future?
Why is he standing here, shouldn't he be working? Work, yes! He finally remembered that he was shooting a movie and he was an actor.
Lan Li retracted his gaze and stood where he was, but still a little confused. Numerous memory fragments were mixed together. He put the cigarette in his hand into his jacket pocket, and then Lan Li moved towards the office again.
In order to film the scene in the hospital, the crew did not set up a studio in the studio, but rented an office in the hospital for filming. They leased floors exclusively for office use, avoid disturbing the daily work of the hospital as much as possible, and will not create any disturbances.
"I can't understand, I think he is a lunatic, a self-righteous lunatic."
"I can't see his behavior, what his purpose is, I can't find any clues at all."
"So he is a lunatic."
"I think he may be under more pressure. After all, everyone says that his acting skills are outstanding and he can't help but want to keep improving."
"How do I feel arrogant~www.novelhall.com~ The scene just now has performed very well. I don’t think anyone can give a more exciting performance. He made this gesture deliberately, as if he was What a real master acting."
...
The whispering talk was whispering, and in a limited space, even if you couldn't hear it clearly, it was almost the same. However, neither Seth nor Jonathan stopped these discussions. After watching the replay twice just now, both of them were puzzled and couldn't figure out Lan Li's routine at all.
But Seth was also a little helpless, "Without James, Renly is our best choice. He hasn't escaped now, and we are about to be lucky, what else can we do?" That is, although he was a little dissatisfied with Lan Li's self-assertion just now, this time they were the weaker party after all, and they could not be too forceful.
Lan Li's rise is too fast and his foundation is unstable. Even if there are two works, "Buried Alive" and "Crazy Love", it is still difficult to convince the public. In the final analysis, he was still belonged to the ranks of newcomers. In the "Anti-Cancer Me" crew, Lan Li is the actor with the least seniority, the least work, and the youngest age. A rash act may raise questions, not to mention the shocking and horrifying just now?
"Hey," the door of the office was pushed open, the low voice of discussion disappeared instantly, and the whole room became silent. Everyone looked at the door in unison, and then saw Lan Li who had reappeared.
Seth immediately changed his smile and said with surprise and enthusiasm, "Len Li, are you back? It hasn't been half an hour yet."
Lan Li didn't seem to notice the gaze swarming from all directions, walked straight forward, and nodded politely towards Seth, "I'm ready, I can start shooting again."
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What does death mean, what does cancer mean, does he really understand? Or, does Will really understand?
In the previous life, as Chu Jiashu, he once embraced the **** of death, not fear, not fear, but with a trace of relief, ten years of long torture and suffering, except for the sporadic moments of happiness, most of the time, he was there. Waiting for death to come. He was tired, he was just tired.
He knew that he was only thirty-two years old, and he was too young to die, really too young, and the Mood for Love was already withered before it even opened up. However, the endless life is always in place, and when it is declared over, he is happy.
Only at the moment when the darkness fell completely did his desire to survive burst out, like a comet sliding across the night sky, bursting out powerful energy instantly, but before it had time to release it, it had disappeared.
So, he started to run, sprinting constantly towards the gleam of light. The fear and threat of death is just a moment.
For Will, the same is true.
Even if the doctor diagnosed him, he suffered from cancer; even if his mother was worried about him and fell into a breakdown; even if his girlfriend left his life in a betrayal way because of cancer; even if the psychologist kept trying to enlighten him and let him vent his inner heart Emotions; even if a friend pulls him and uses cancer to strike up a conversation in a bar; even if everyone around him looks at him strangely, as if he is already a dead person...
However, he still has no sense of reality.
Cancer and death seem to be just a small change in life. He has to start chemotherapy. It's like he suddenly decided to go out to walk the dog every day. It's just that this "dog walking" place is quite special, fixed time and fixed. Location, fixed action. The desire to survive and the optimistic attitude are supporting him to go on. In addition, the changes in life never really hit him.
Those trivial details, accumulated bit by bit, changed his life pattern, invaded his living space, and affected his life style. He was scared, he was worried, he was restless, he was irritable, he could feel that his life was changing little by little, but he could not stop it, but after all, this change is not earth-shaking, he can step by step Back off, adjust, and compromise.
Until one day, the doctor told him that chemotherapy did not work, cancer cells were still spreading, surgery was the only option, success or failure. As a result, all the back roads were cut off, and he was forced into the corner without retreating. The quantitative change finally caused a qualitative change.
The sense of reality is like sparks hitting the earth, hitting his chest hard. The fork in the road is here. After closing his eyes, he may never open his eyes again. Moreover, it is not up to him to decide. He can only lie on the cold operating bed and wait for the judgment. Completely caught.
That kind of despair, that kind of anger, that kind of pain, that kind of sorrow, broke out earth-shaking. He hated the world, hated everyone around him, hated everything in life. He only knows one thing: he is not ready to accept death.
It's just a moment of time. Because, after that, Will's operation was successful and he was reborn. Will knows what cancer means and what death means, but after all, it is like a tide. After the high tide, the tide ebbs. In the passage of time, quietly withdrawing from the blood, the sense of reality disappears again.
Chu Jiashu is so, Will is so. The same is true for Adam in the script. On the plane from New York to Seattle, he already wanted to understand this, but he still didn't think thoroughly enough.
However, Adam was more at a loss than Chu Jiashu.
Because high paraplegia is real and immediate, Chu Jiashu can clearly feel that he has lost control of his limbs, but he is still at a loss, until he realizes that even the control of the bladder has been lost. , The sense of shame swallowed him, and the sense of reality became clear.
For Adam, the impact of cancer is slowly invading. He is adapting little by little, groping little by little. The budding of that emotion has a gradual process. Long and real.
But at the moment, when the doctor diagnosed, Adam was just at a loss and at a loss. What happened to "other people" suddenly happened to me, and I was at a loss.
There is not so much shock, not so much pain, not so much despair, not so many ups and downs, and not so many inheritance and transformation. Confused, just confused, the brain is blank and confused, and there is a little panic besides that, that's all.
This kind of performance is Chu Jiashu and Adam, but it shouldn't be Chu Jiashu, but Will and Adam. The boundary between reality and illusion has been completely disrupted. The previous life, this life, Will’s, Lanly’s, memories, scripts, and countless story fragments have been disrupted. He must sort out his thoughts and find To belong to Adam, the moment of confusion and panic.
Beyond the glass windows, there was a quiet, endless stream. Lan Li couldn't help but look farther away, and further away, the whole world became bigger and wider, as if there was no end in sight, it was endless.
But in his mind he couldn't help thinking, in the universe, is he like a dust, insignificant, so that his existence does not have any meaning; in other corners of the world, are there people? Facing a similar predicament as him, I don’t know how they dealt with it. Compared with cancer, the war-torn lives in the Middle East and Africa should be more sympathetic...
Eugene Sledge. When his faith was torn to pieces, when his soul escaped into darkness, when his life fell into silence, was death a relief for him, and was living a torment for him? Compared with the fragile lives that have disappeared on the battlefield, he at least still has the opportunity to fight hard, but how does he fight?
How high is the cure rate of cancer? What is the mortality rate? What kind of cancer is he suffering from? Why can't he remember it at all? That name is really hard to remember. He has never heard of it. There is a long list of letters. Hasn't even the doctor seen it before? Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
The focus of the line of sight began to become blurred, thoughts began to be unconstrained, and all kinds of thoughts swarmed in. A sound of "Baw" penetrated the glass wall and stung his ears. The thoughts soaring in the sky instantly gathered in, and the focus regrouped. Then he was stunned. What was he thinking about just now?
Yes, cancer. Wait, what kind of cancer is he? Which one is more terrifying, cancer or high paralysis? Which one is more cruel, cancer or war? Cancer is due to genetic mutations. What does this mean, God’s choice? Or is it God's abandonment?
Lost again, Lan Li lowered his head and looked at the cigarette in his hand. He was a little dazed: Shouldn't he smoke? After all, you have cancer. In order to survive, you should be healthier. Wait, or should he start smoking? It’s because of cancer, and life has not been long anyway. If you don’t enjoy it at this time and don’t want to, will there be no chance in the future?
Why is he standing here, shouldn't he be working? Work, yes! He finally remembered that he was shooting a movie and he was an actor.
Lan Li retracted his gaze and stood where he was, but still a little confused. Numerous memory fragments were mixed together. He put the cigarette in his hand into his jacket pocket, and then Lan Li moved towards the office again.
In order to film the scene in the hospital, the crew did not set up a studio in the studio, but rented an office in the hospital for filming. They leased floors exclusively for office use, avoid disturbing the daily work of the hospital as much as possible, and will not create any disturbances.
"I can't understand, I think he is a lunatic, a self-righteous lunatic."
"I can't see his behavior, what his purpose is, I can't find any clues at all."
"So he is a lunatic."
"I think he may be under more pressure. After all, everyone says that his acting skills are outstanding and he can't help but want to keep improving."
"How do I feel arrogant~www.novelhall.com~ The scene just now has performed very well. I don’t think anyone can give a more exciting performance. He made this gesture deliberately, as if he was What a real master acting."
...
The whispering talk was whispering, and in a limited space, even if you couldn't hear it clearly, it was almost the same. However, neither Seth nor Jonathan stopped these discussions. After watching the replay twice just now, both of them were puzzled and couldn't figure out Lan Li's routine at all.
But Seth was also a little helpless, "Without James, Renly is our best choice. He hasn't escaped now, and we are about to be lucky, what else can we do?" That is, although he was a little dissatisfied with Lan Li's self-assertion just now, this time they were the weaker party after all, and they could not be too forceful.
Lan Li's rise is too fast and his foundation is unstable. Even if there are two works, "Buried Alive" and "Crazy Love", it is still difficult to convince the public. In the final analysis, he was still belonged to the ranks of newcomers. In the "Anti-Cancer Me" crew, Lan Li is the actor with the least seniority, the least work, and the youngest age. A rash act may raise questions, not to mention the shocking and horrifying just now?
"Hey," the door of the office was pushed open, the low voice of discussion disappeared instantly, and the whole room became silent. Everyone looked at the door in unison, and then saw Lan Li who had reappeared.
Seth immediately changed his smile and said with surprise and enthusiasm, "Len Li, are you back? It hasn't been half an hour yet."
Lan Li didn't seem to notice the gaze swarming from all directions, walked straight forward, and nodded politely towards Seth, "I'm ready, I can start shooting again."
What does death mean, what does cancer mean, does he really understand? Or, does Will really understand?In the previous life, as Chu Jiashu, he once embraced the **** of death, not fear, not fear, but with a trace of relief, ten years of long torture and suffering, except for the sporadic moments of happiness, most of the time, he was there. Waiting for death to come. He was tired, he was just tired.He knew that he was only thirty-two years old, and he was too young to die, really too young, and the Mood for Love was already withered before it even opened up. However, the endless life is always in place, and when it is declared over, he is happy.Only at the moment when the darkness fell completely did his desire to survive burst out, like a comet sliding across the night sky, bursting out powerful energy instantly, but before it had time to release it, it had disappeared.So, he started to run, sprinting constantly towards the gleam of light. The fear and threat of death is just a moment.For Will, the same is true.Even if the doctor diagnosed him, he suffered from cancer; even if his mother was worried about him and fell into a breakdown; even if his girlfriend left his life in a betrayal way because of cancer; even if the psychologist kept trying to enlighten him and let him vent his inner heart Emotions; even if a friend pulls him and uses cancer to strike up a conversation in a bar; even if everyone around him looks at him strangely, as if he is already a dead person...However, he still has no sense of reality.Cancer and death seem to be just a small change in life. He has to start chemotherapy. It's like he suddenly decided to go out to walk the dog every day. It's just that this "dog walking" place is quite special, fixed time and fixed. Location, fixed action. The desire to survive and the optimistic attitude are supporting him to go on. In addition, the changes in life never really hit him.Those trivial details, accumulated bit by bit, changed his life pattern, invaded his living space, and affected his life style. He was scared, he was worried, he was restless, he was irritable, he could feel that his life was changing little by little, but he could not stop it, but after all, this change is not earth-shaking, he can step by step Back off, adjust, and compromise.Until one day, the doctor told him that chemotherapy did not work, cancer cells were still spreading, surgery was the only option, success or failure. As a result, all the back roads were cut off, and he was forced into the corner without retreating. The quantitative change finally caused a qualitative change.The sense of reality is like sparks hitting the earth, hitting his chest hard. The fork in the road is here. After closing his eyes, he may never open his eyes again. Moreover, it is not up to him to decide. He can only lie on the cold operating bed and wait for the judgment. Completely caught.That kind of despair, that kind of anger, that kind of pain, that kind of sorrow, broke out earth-shaking. He hated the world, hated everyone around him, hated everything in life. He only knows one thing: he is not ready to accept death.It's just a moment of time. Because, after that, Will's operation was successful and he was reborn. Will knows what cancer means and what death means, but after all, it is like a tide. After the high tide, the tide ebbs. In the passage of time, quietly withdrawing from the blood, the sense of reality disappears again.Chu Jiashu is so, Will is so. The same is true for Adam in the script. On the plane from New York to Seattle, he already wanted to understand this, but he still didn't think thoroughly enough.However, Adam was more at a loss than Chu Jiashu.Because high paraplegia is real and immediate, Chu Jiashu can clearly feel that he has lost control of his limbs, but he is still at a loss, until he realizes that even the control of the bladder has been lost. , The sense of shame swallowed him, and the sense of reality became clear.For Adam, the impact of cancer is slowly invading. He is adapting little by little, groping little by little. The budding of that emotion has a gradual process. Long and real.But at the moment, when the doctor diagnosed, Adam was just at a loss and at a loss. What happened to "other people" suddenly happened to me, and I was at a loss.There is not so much shock, not so much pain, not so much despair, not so many ups and downs, and not so many inheritance and transformation. Confused, just confused, the brain is blank and confused, and there is a little panic besides that, that's all.This kind of performance is Chu Jiashu and Adam, but it shouldn't be Chu Jiashu, but Will and Adam. The boundary between reality and illusion has been completely disrupted. The previous life, this life, Will's, Lanly's, memories, scripts, and countless story fragments have been disrupted. He must sort out his thoughts and find To belong to Adam, the moment of confusion and panic.Beyond the glass windows, there was a quiet, endless stream. Lan Li couldn't help but look farther away, and further away, the whole world became bigger and wider, as if there was no end in sight, it was endless.But in his mind he couldn't help thinking, in the universe, is he like a dust, insignificant, so that his existence does not have any meaning; in other corners of the world, are there people? Facing a similar predicament as him, I don't know how they dealt with it. Compared with cancer, the war-torn lives in the Middle East and Africa should be more sympathetic...Eugene Sledge. When his faith was torn to pieces, when his soul escaped into darkness, when his life fell into silence, was death a relief for him, and was living a torment for him? Compared with the fragile lives that have disappeared on the battlefield, he at least still has the opportunity to fight hard, but how does he fight?How high is the cure rate of cancer? What is the mortality rate? What kind of cancer is he suffering from? Why can't he remember it at all? That name is really hard to remember. He has never heard of it. There is a long list of letters. Hasn't even the doctor seen it before? Is this a good thing or a bad thing?The focus of the line of sight began to become blurred, thoughts began to be unconstrained, and all kinds of thoughts swarmed in. A sound of "Baw" penetrated the glass wall and stung his ears. The thoughts soaring in the sky instantly gathered in, and the focus regrouped. Then he was stunned. What was he thinking about just now?Yes, cancer. Wait, what kind of cancer is he? Which one is more terrifying, cancer or high paralysis? Which one is more cruel, cancer or war? Cancer is due to genetic mutations. What does this mean, God's choice? Or is it God's abandonment?Lost again, Lan Li lowered his head and looked at the cigarette in his hand. He was a little dazed: Shouldn't he smoke? After all, you have cancer. In order to survive, you should be healthier. Wait, or should he start smoking? It's because of cancer, and life has not been long anyway. If you don't enjoy it at this time and don't want to, will there be no chance in the future?Why is he standing here, shouldn't he be working? Work, yes! He finally remembered that he was shooting a movie and he was an actor.Lan Li retracted his gaze and stood where he was, but still a little confused. Numerous memory fragments were mixed together. He put the cigarette in his hand into his jacket pocket, and then Lan Li moved towards the office again.In order to film the scene in the hospital, the crew did not set up a studio in the studio, but rented an office in the hospital for filming. They leased floors exclusively for office use, avoid disturbing the daily work of the hospital as much as possible, and will not create any disturbances."I can't understand, I think he is a lunatic, a self-righteous lunatic.""I can't see his behavior, what his purpose is, I can't find any clues at all.""So he is a lunatic.""I think he may be under more pressure. After all, everyone says that his acting skills are outstanding and he can't help but want to keep improving.""How do I feel arrogant~www.novelhall.com~ The scene just now has performed very well. I don't think anyone can give a more exciting performance. He made this gesture deliberately, as if he was What a real master acting."...The whispering talk was whispering, and in a limited space, even if you couldn't hear it clearly, it was almost the same. However, neither Seth nor Jonathan stopped these discussions. After watching the replay twice just now, both of them were puzzled and couldn't figure out Lan Li's routine at all.But Seth was also a little helpless, "Without James, Renly is our best choice. He hasn't escaped now, and we are about to be lucky, what else can we do?" That is, although he was a little dissatisfied with Lan Li's self-assertion just now, this time they were the weaker party after all, and they could not be too forceful.Lan Li's rise is too fast and his foundation is unstable. Even if there are two works, "Buried Alive" and "Crazy Love", it is still difficult to convince the public. In the final analysis, he was still belonged to the ranks of newcomers. In the "Anti-Cancer Me" crew, Lan Li is the actor with the least seniority, the least work, and the youngest age. A rash act may raise questions, not to mention the shocking and horrifying just now?"Hey," the door of the office was pushed open, the low voice of discussion disappeared instantly, and the whole room became silent. Everyone looked at the door in unison, and then saw Lan Li who had reappeared.Seth immediately changed his smile and said with surprise and enthusiasm, "Len Li, are you back? It hasn't been half an hour yet."Lan Li didn't seem to notice the gaze swarming from all directions, walked straight forward, and nodded politely towards Seth, "I'm ready, I can start shooting again."
