The forest groaned, spurred on by an invisible whip.
Trees moved without walking. Branches swapped trunks like candlesticks hopping to different holders. Whole families of small mammals zipped about in confusion as their dens, burrows and warrens were turned upside down and inside out. Shrubs, mounds and stones danced and hobbled.
Within moments, I could feel an odd motion sickness beginning to take me as I bore witness to a moving tapestry utterly incompatible with my mind.
Once the scenery stopped moving, only one thing remained unchanged.
The minotaur resting in his hammock between two trees.
“No sword can cut through a labyrinth faster than I can make or change it,” he said casually, flipping another page in his book. “Should you opt to engage in physical conduct instead of providing the cheap sum of 10 silver crowns, I'll simply barricade myself until you change your mind or exit the labyrinth at your own pace. Ergo, threats won't get you anywhere.”
I waited until the nauseousness of watching dozens of trees changing places had passed.
Then, I broke out into a smile, satisfied that I was still the picture of vomitless dignity.
“Ohohoho ... on the contrary, threats will get me everywhere.”
The sound of Starlight Grace drawing from its sheath did away with any misconceptions. My sword flashed beneath a shaft of sunlight, as resplendent in the day as a star in the night sky.
The minotaur sighed. He did not reach for his weapon.
“Poor choice.”
“—Hieee?!”
Suddenly, I recoiled as a massive hedgerow erupted before me.
Shooting up to an outburst of leaves, soil and twigs, this solid, well-trimmed hedgerow blasted its way between myself and the minotaur.
Now, it was no longer a vagrant on a hammock I was seeing, but a wall of green so dense that it was as though I was facing a solid block of paint.
And then, I was forced to jump back as another hedgerow shot up from the ground, its thickness and height a mirror of the first to be conjured.
And then another. And then another. And then another.
“Not bad, isn't it?” came a proud voice from across the hedgerows. Even now, I heard the sound of a hammock swinging from side to side. “You may wonder why I never took up arms as a questing minotaur. The truth is that while I admire the noble causes of my brothers and sisters, to be a knight is to adhere to laws curtailing us from our natural calling—doing whatever we want.”
One after another, walls of hedgerows burst up in a shower of soil and leaves, forcing me to make an unseemly dash towards the extremely unhelpful clockwork doll who was only now showing interest in the pandemonium.
“Now I serve no Pantheon but the winds of freedom,” continued the minotaur, his voice both distant and near. “Or in less flowery words, rob people blind while ensuring I'm always on top of my literature backlog.”
A small hole was suddenly chiselled into the closest hedgerow.
“You may deposit your 10 silver crowns here,” he finished simply.
I stepped back, taking in the first of many towering hedgerows looming over me.
It was ridiculous. A barrier of green so dense and tall that merely its shadow appeared enough to snuff out flames. It was an absurd thing of both magic and nature. Some amalgamation of both the arcane and horticulture, combined to create a structure of truly preposterous design.
And it was beautiful.
“C-Coppelia!!”
“Yes?” said the girl peering over my shoulder. “The minotaur's right. It's not too shabby, isn't it?”
“Not too shabby?! It's … It's wondrous!”
Indeed, it was the finest hedgerow I'd seen in my life!
Here was a wall tall enough to not only keep the peasantry at bay, but also the hedgehogs and the squirrels!
My finely honed instincts for gardening recognised at once the durability on display before me!
Here was a hedgerow that would never once find itself victim to the tiny claws of garden critters or the natural greasiness of a wood mouse as it squeezed its way through gaps like drips of rainwater! Indeed, it was a work of beauty stronger than any fortress wall! And so well presented! The uniformity was mesmerising! Its face was as smooth as my own!
Why, if the Royal Villa were surrounded by these hedgerows, we would never have to worry about an uninvited guest ever again—person, rodent, or both!
It was … It was marvellous!
And this was only one of them!
For a brief moment, neither the minotaur's continued extortion attempts, nor Coppelia's chin on my shoulder as she examined the first towering hedgerow concerned me.
Instead, I came to a startling realisation.
This … This was more than the work of mere minotaur magic.
Why, the vibrancy of the well trimmed leaves exceeded the work of any weekend hobbyist. The hedgerow, as tall and straight as a throne's back, was so majestic that my neck had to make weird noises just to see how far it reached up. Not even the most talented of minotaurs were capable of conjuring such hedgerows on demand.
It took someone who lived and breathed the botanical lifestyle to understand how to balance physics with aesthetics.
I was wrong. This minotaur wasn't merely a brigand.
Why … he was also a fellow gardening artisan!
“S-Sensational!” I said, ineffectually poking Starlight Grace directly into the hedgerow. To my shock, I could feel as the blade was entirely denied by the leaves as if this wasn't a hedge of tightly packed greenery, but a million condensed pillows. “There truly is not a single gap! Why, this could dam a river and not allow a single drop of moisture to seep through!”
Somewhere across the multiple hedgerows, a chuckle rang out.
“And so, the futility of violence is acknowledged. Now you only need to peek into the maze so that you feel the futility of escape as well. Don't worry if you get lost. There are regular opportunities to deposit your 10 silver crowns.”
… And thus, I remembered I was still being waylaid.
My consternation, however, was replaced by a generosity that only someone as saintly and pure as I could muster. Indeed, to feel benevolent in the face of daylight extortion was proof of the royal mantle I wore.
And it was for this reason that I brought my hand to my lips and laughed.
“Ohohoho ... you poor thing. 10 silver crowns? I will not give you such a paltry sum. In fact, I intend to give you far more than that.”
A moment of silence greeted my declaration.
“Excuse me?”
I stepped away, Starlight Grace leaving the hedgerow with barely a dent.
Seeing the ineffectualness of my blade would usually elicit horror from me, but now, all I could feel was overwhelming delight.
“... Rejoice, for I understand the desire that burns within you. All this time, you have masqueraded as a simple brigand in search of petty coin, hiding your dissatisfaction and your life's failures beneath a veneer of relaxed poise. In truth, it was never simple crowns you were after, was it? It was recognition for your work.”
A longer silence greeted me.
Undoubtedly, my insight into the minds of all knaves was unparalleled. How could it not be? The only difference between wayside robbers and nobility was their manners. And this minotaur hadn't subtly insulted the colour of my hems once.
“No? I mean, I do take pride in my work. But really, I'm just after easy crowns.”
I shook my head, knowing that somewhere, somehow, the minotaur could see me.
“You may deceive yourself, but you may not deceive me. The splendour of your work speaks for itself. My eyes note how the green stretches deep into the foliage, indicating that despite its impenetrable thickness, snatches of sunlight still slip through brief partings as immaculately timed as the aligning of the stars. Within this orchestra of leaves, I see a wish, no, a yearning for something more than the glitter of coins.”
“No, you're thinking too much. I really just want your coins. 10 silver crowns. It really isn't a lot. Don't you have somewhere to be?”
“I do. Which is why I'll fully answer your demand.”
I smiled like the angel I was.
And then, I raised Starlight Grace over my head.
Beginning to swish, I matched the minotaur's earnestness with my own, focusing my efforts on gathering the finest breeze to the tip of my blade.
But this time, I did not stop.
“Fear not, fellow sculptor of the verdure! For you, I shall not hold back! You shall be the recipient of my most experimental [Spring Breeze] yet!”
Somewhere, I heard what sounded like a confused exclamation. But I didn't need to hear what I could feel. Indeed, that confusion I spied was the by-product of gratitude and overwhelming joy!
For why would anyone build a barrier so perfect, if not to test its function?
Just as every architect silently wished for their castle to be besieged, every gardener wished for their hedges to prove themselves against the forces which sought to destroy them.
The weeds beneath the soil. The rodents at the foot. The caterpillars from the abyss.
And also, the natural elements!
Here was a minotaur who wished for his work to be peer reviewed! To be proven! Why else would he create a hedgerow so immaculate when any crumbling wall could have sufficed?
Yes, I wished to fully examine the strength of these hedgerows in the name of scholarly pursuit and gardening fraternity.
… And if I could also field test my Mark III Prototype [Spring Breeze], then all the better! Oho … ohoho … ohohoohohohoho … !
Thus, leaves rustled before being snatched from their branches. Branches creaked before being torn from their trees. And trees groaned before being pulled at their limbs.
In moments, the hedgerow before me was gradually being eaten away, leaves sucked up like flotsam in a whirlpool. A misty vortex of primordial energy formed at the tip of Starlight Grace, assuming a blue hue as tiny arcs of lightning pulsed from the edges.
Beside me, Coppelia looked at the gathering vortex of primal wind and lightning and whistled.
“Well, that isn't concerning at all.”
I looked at her and smiled, despite the noticeable weight I could feel anchoring down on my sword arm. It was a burden I was willing to bear, especially as I couldn't actually move my arm without risking structural collapse of the thing above me.
It was, to be frank, mildly alarming.
The sensation of balancing this swirling vortex was not dissimilar to first learning to dance. It was all exceptionally unwieldy, and my only concern at present was to not crumble in an undignified heap—something becoming conspicuously harder by the moment.
“Quite the breeze, is it not?” I said, as both my elbows and my knees began to quake. “Goodness, I wonder if this is enough to do away with a few of the minotaur's hedgerows?”
Coppelia flattened her golden hair as it became slightly fluffier, drawn towards the rapidly growing whirlwind imbued with crackling light.
“I mean, you've got a head start. You've already sucked in two of them. Say, what's the difference between the Mark II and the Mark III [Spring Breeze]?”
“The Mark II variant prioritises speed and adaptability. The Mark III variant focuses on potency and capability … why are you stepping away?”
“No reason,” said Coppelia, 10 metres, 20 metres ... 50 metres away. “Hey, can you give me a countdown before you let that swirling ball of doom go?”
“This isn't a swirling ball of doom,” I said over the noise of lightning fizzling throughout the miniature tornado above my head. “It's a highly concentrated spring breeze that's now being repurposed for hedge trimming.”
“Okay. You call it [Spring Breeze]. I'm going to call it [Ball Of Doom] from now on.”
I was appalled.
Not only did I refuse to accept such an ominous name for what was still very much a gardening technique, but if she was going to name it something like that, then there were a plethora of more classically foreboding names she could give!
This one was outright childish! At which soirée could I threaten a baron's daughter with a [Ball Of Doom]? I'd be mocked, no matter how concerning this spiralling body of primordial energy was.
However, before I could even voice my displeasure—
Poomph.
An entire wedge of trees practically collapsed next to me.
Even putting aside the giant hedgerows which were now being absorbed by the tornado above my head, it was one of the most surreal sights I'd seen.
An entire column of fully grown and very sturdy looking trees collapsed like dominoes, leaving only a very wide gap in their wake.
“Uh, you know what?” called out the minotaur, his tone suddenly very polite. “You guys can go. I've decided that the cost of time goes both ways. It's really not worth it to wait for you to leave.”
I responded by almost losing my balance as more of his labyrinth was sucked into the [Spring Breeze] and not the [Ball Of Doom]. This thing of concentrated spring jiggled perilously, and I glimpsed as Coppelia hid behind a tree.
This … This should be enough, right … ?
“One blade, one will, ten thousand caterpillars upon the wind! Gardening Form, 7th Stance ...”
Once again, another column of trees collapsed.
This time, it was further in the distance, revealing a clear exit where snow-capped mountains and a wide road could be seen.
“Ahem, you can go now,” said the minotaur, slightly faster than before. “The shortcut's just appeared.”
“Yes. I see it, thank you.”
I lowered Starlight Grace, then pointed it towards the multiple hedgerows and the minotaur somewhere behind them. As I did so, my entire vision was taken up by the sight of this massive ball of … ugh, something.
And then—
“[Spring Breeze]!”
I released my experimental Mark III Prototype variant.
The very next second, I found myself glad that Coppelia had hopped 50 metres away.
Because as it turned out, I needed her to catch me.
“—Hiiiiiiiiiiiiieee?!?!”
As did the minotaur, whose steel-clad silhouette could only be seen disappearing into the distance amongst a sea of forest debris, fruit slimes and hedgerows breaking apart to a confetti shower of vibrant leaves.
“AAAAAAHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~”
Amongst the cacophony of deafening noise, the sight of an entire labyrinth collapsing around me, and the blinding impact of having all the wind knocked out of me as I was only partially cushioned by Coppelia's arms, one clear thought came to mind.
Why, that surely had to be over 101.7 metres.
The forest groaned, spurred on by an invisible whip.
Trees moved without walking. Branches swapped trunks like candlesticks hopping to different holders. Whole families of small mammals zipped about in confusion as their dens, burrows and warrens were turned upside down and inside out. Shrubs, mounds and stones danced and hobbled.
Within moments, I could feel an odd motion sickness beginning to take me as I bore witness to a moving tapestry utterly incompatible with my mind.
Once the scenery stopped moving, only one thing remained unchanged.
The minotaur resting in his hammock between two trees.
“No sword can cut through a labyrinth faster than I can make or change it,” he said casually, flipping another page in his book. “Should you opt to engage in physical conduct instead of providing the cheap sum of 10 silver crowns, I'll simply barricade myself until you change your mind or exit the labyrinth at your own pace. Ergo, threats won't get you anywhere.”
I waited until the nauseousness of watching dozens of trees changing places had passed.
Then, I broke out into a smile, satisfied that I was still the picture of vomitless dignity.
“Ohohoho ... on the contrary, threats will get me everywhere.”
The sound of Starlight Grace drawing from its sheath did away with any misconceptions. My sword flashed beneath a shaft of sunlight, as resplendent in the day as a star in the night sky.
The minotaur sighed. He did not reach for his weapon.
“Poor choice.”
“—Hieee?!”
Suddenly, I recoiled as a massive hedgerow erupted before me.
Shooting up to an outburst of leaves, soil and twigs, this solid, well-trimmed hedgerow blasted its way between myself and the minotaur.
Now, it was no longer a vagrant on a hammock I was seeing, but a wall of green so dense that it was as though I was facing a solid block of paint.
And then, I was forced to jump back as another hedgerow shot up from the ground, its thickness and height a mirror of the first to be conjured.
And then another. And then another. And then another.
“Not bad, isn't it?” came a proud voice from across the hedgerows. Even now, I heard the sound of a hammock swinging from side to side. “You may wonder why I never took up arms as a questing minotaur. The truth is that while I admire the noble causes of my brothers and sisters, to be a knight is to adhere to laws curtailing us from our natural calling—doing whatever we want.”
One after another, walls of hedgerows burst up in a shower of soil and leaves, forcing me to make an unseemly dash towards the extremely unhelpful clockwork doll who was only now showing interest in the pandemonium.
“Now I serve no Pantheon but the winds of freedom,” continued the minotaur, his voice both distant and near. “Or in less flowery words, rob people blind while ensuring I'm always on top of my literature backlog.”
A small hole was suddenly chiselled into the closest hedgerow.
“You may deposit your 10 silver crowns here,” he finished simply.
I stepped back, taking in the first of many towering hedgerows looming over me.
It was ridiculous. A barrier of green so dense and tall that merely its shadow appeared enough to snuff out flames. It was an absurd thing of both magic and nature. Some amalgamation of both the arcane and horticulture, combined to create a structure of truly preposterous design.
And it was beautiful.
“C-Coppelia!!”
“Yes?” said the girl peering over my shoulder. “The minotaur's right. It's not too shabby, isn't it?”
“Not too shabby?! It's … It's wondrous!”
Indeed, it was the finest hedgerow I'd seen in my life!
Here was a wall tall enough to not only keep the peasantry at bay, but also the hedgehogs and the squirrels!
My finely honed instincts for gardening recognised at once the durability on display before me!
Here was a hedgerow that would never once find itself victim to the tiny claws of garden critters or the natural greasiness of a wood mouse as it squeezed its way through gaps like drips of rainwater! Indeed, it was a work of beauty stronger than any fortress wall! And so well presented! The uniformity was mesmerising! Its face was as smooth as my own!
Why, if the Royal Villa were surrounded by these hedgerows, we would never have to worry about an uninvited guest ever again—person, rodent, or both!
It was … It was marvellous!
And this was only one of them!
For a brief moment, neither the minotaur's continued extortion attempts, nor Coppelia's chin on my shoulder as she examined the first towering hedgerow concerned me.
Instead, I came to a startling realisation.
This … This was more than the work of mere minotaur magic.
Why, the vibrancy of the well trimmed leaves exceeded the work of any weekend hobbyist. The hedgerow, as tall and straight as a throne's back, was so majestic that my neck had to make weird noises just to see how far it reached up. Not even the most talented of minotaurs were capable of conjuring such hedgerows on demand.
It took someone who lived and breathed the botanical lifestyle to understand how to balance physics with aesthetics.
I was wrong. This minotaur wasn't merely a brigand.
Why … he was also a fellow gardening artisan!
“S-Sensational!” I said, ineffectually poking Starlight Grace directly into the hedgerow. To my shock, I could feel as the blade was entirely denied by the leaves as if this wasn't a hedge of tightly packed greenery, but a million condensed pillows. “There truly is not a single gap! Why, this could dam a river and not allow a single drop of moisture to seep through!”
Somewhere across the multiple hedgerows, a chuckle rang out.
“And so, the futility of violence is acknowledged. Now you only need to peek into the maze so that you feel the futility of escape as well. Don't worry if you get lost. There are regular opportunities to deposit your 10 silver crowns.”
… And thus, I remembered I was still being waylaid.
My consternation, however, was replaced by a generosity that only someone as saintly and pure as I could muster. Indeed, to feel benevolent in the face of daylight extortion was proof of the royal mantle I wore.
And it was for this reason that I brought my hand to my lips and laughed.
“Ohohoho ... you poor thing. 10 silver crowns? I will not give you such a paltry sum. In fact, I intend to give you far more than that.”
A moment of silence greeted my declaration.
“Excuse me?”
I stepped away, Starlight Grace leaving the hedgerow with barely a dent.
Seeing the ineffectualness of my blade would usually elicit horror from me, but now, all I could feel was overwhelming delight.
“... Rejoice, for I understand the desire that burns within you. All this time, you have masqueraded as a simple brigand in search of petty coin, hiding your dissatisfaction and your life's failures beneath a veneer of relaxed poise. In truth, it was never simple crowns you were after, was it? It was recognition for your work.”
A longer silence greeted me.
Undoubtedly, my insight into the minds of all knaves was unparalleled. How could it not be? The only difference between wayside robbers and nobility was their manners. And this minotaur hadn't subtly insulted the colour of my hems once.
“No? I mean, I do take pride in my work. But really, I'm just after easy crowns.”
I shook my head, knowing that somewhere, somehow, the minotaur could see me.
“You may deceive yourself, but you may not deceive me. The splendour of your work speaks for itself. My eyes note how the green stretches deep into the foliage, indicating that despite its impenetrable thickness, snatches of sunlight still slip through brief partings as immaculately timed as the aligning of the stars. Within this orchestra of leaves, I see a wish, no, a yearning for something more than the glitter of coins.”
“No, you're thinking too much. I really just want your coins. 10 silver crowns. It really isn't a lot. Don't you have somewhere to be?”
“I do. Which is why I'll fully answer your demand.”
I smiled like the angel I was.
And then, I raised Starlight Grace over my head.
Beginning to swish, I matched the minotaur's earnestness with my own, focusing my efforts on gathering the finest breeze to the tip of my blade.
But this time, I did not stop.
“Fear not, fellow sculptor of the verdure! For you, I shall not hold back! You shall be the recipient of my most experimental [Spring Breeze] yet!”
Somewhere, I heard what sounded like a confused exclamation. But I didn't need to hear what I could feel. Indeed, that confusion I spied was the by-product of gratitude and overwhelming joy!
For why would anyone build a barrier so perfect, if not to test its function?
Just as every architect silently wished for their castle to be besieged, every gardener wished for their hedges to prove themselves against the forces which sought to destroy them.
The weeds beneath the soil. The rodents at the foot. The caterpillars from the abyss.
And also, the natural elements!
Here was a minotaur who wished for his work to be peer reviewed! To be proven! Why else would he create a hedgerow so immaculate when any crumbling wall could have sufficed?
Yes, I wished to fully examine the strength of these hedgerows in the name of scholarly pursuit and gardening fraternity.
… And if I could also field test my Mark III Prototype [Spring Breeze], then all the better! Oho … ohoho … ohohoohohohoho … !
Thus, leaves rustled before being snatched from their branches. Branches creaked before being torn from their trees. And trees groaned before being pulled at their limbs.
In moments, the hedgerow before me was gradually being eaten away, leaves sucked up like flotsam in a whirlpool. A misty vortex of primordial energy formed at the tip of Starlight Grace, assuming a blue hue as tiny arcs of lightning pulsed from the edges.
Beside me, Coppelia looked at the gathering vortex of primal wind and lightning and whistled.
“Well, that isn't concerning at all.”
I looked at her and smiled, despite the noticeable weight I could feel anchoring down on my sword arm. It was a burden I was willing to bear, especially as I couldn't actually move my arm without risking structural collapse of the thing above me.
It was, to be frank, mildly alarming.
The sensation of balancing this swirling vortex was not dissimilar to first learning to dance. It was all exceptionally unwieldy, and my only concern at present was to not crumble in an undignified heap—something becoming conspicuously harder by the moment.
“Quite the breeze, is it not?” I said, as both my elbows and my knees began to quake. “Goodness, I wonder if this is enough to do away with a few of the minotaur's hedgerows?”
Coppelia flattened her golden hair as it became slightly fluffier, drawn towards the rapidly growing whirlwind imbued with crackling light.
“I mean, you've got a head start. You've already sucked in two of them. Say, what's the difference between the Mark II and the Mark III [Spring Breeze]?”
“The Mark II variant prioritises speed and adaptability. The Mark III variant focuses on potency and capability … why are you stepping away?”
“No reason,” said Coppelia, 10 metres, 20 metres ... 50 metres away. “Hey, can you give me a countdown before you let that swirling ball of doom go?”
“This isn't a swirling ball of doom,” I said over the noise of lightning fizzling throughout the miniature tornado above my head. “It's a highly concentrated spring breeze that's now being repurposed for hedge trimming.”
“Okay. You call it [Spring Breeze]. I'm going to call it [Ball Of Doom] from now on.”
I was appalled.
Not only did I refuse to accept such an ominous name for what was still very much a gardening technique, but if she was going to name it something like that, then there were a plethora of more classically foreboding names she could give!
This one was outright childish! At which soirée could I threaten a baron's daughter with a [Ball Of Doom]? I'd be mocked, no matter how concerning this spiralling body of primordial energy was.
However, before I could even voice my displeasure—
Poomph.
An entire wedge of trees practically collapsed next to me.
Even putting aside the giant hedgerows which were now being absorbed by the tornado above my head, it was one of the most surreal sights I'd seen.
An entire column of fully grown and very sturdy looking trees collapsed like dominoes, leaving only a very wide gap in their wake.
“Uh, you know what?” called out the minotaur, his tone suddenly very polite. “You guys can go. I've decided that the cost of time goes both ways. It's really not worth it to wait for you to leave.”
I responded by almost losing my balance as more of his labyrinth was sucked into the [Spring Breeze] and not the [Ball Of Doom]. This thing of concentrated spring jiggled perilously, and I glimpsed as Coppelia hid behind a tree.
This … This should be enough, right … ?
“One blade, one will, ten thousand caterpillars upon the wind! Gardening Form, 7th Stance ...”
Once again, another column of trees collapsed.
This time, it was further in the distance, revealing a clear exit where snow-capped mountains and a wide road could be seen.
“Ahem, you can go now,” said the minotaur, slightly faster than before. “The shortcut's just appeared.”
“Yes. I see it, thank you.”
I lowered Starlight Grace, then pointed it towards the multiple hedgerows and the minotaur somewhere behind them. As I did so, my entire vision was taken up by the sight of this massive ball of … ugh, something.
And then—
“[Spring Breeze]!”
I released my experimental Mark III Prototype variant.
The very next second, I found myself glad that Coppelia had hopped 50 metres away.
Because as it turned out, I needed her to catch me.
“—Hiiiiiiiiiiiiieee?!?!”
As did the minotaur, whose steel-clad silhouette could only be seen disappearing into the distance amongst a sea of forest debris, fruit slimes and hedgerows breaking apart to a confetti shower of vibrant leaves.
“AAAAAAHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~”
Amongst the cacophony of deafening noise, the sight of an entire labyrinth collapsing around me, and the blinding impact of having all the wind knocked out of me as I was only partially cushioned by Coppelia's arms, one clear thought came to mind.
Why, that surely had to be over 101.7 metres.
