Trinity of Magic [Progression Fantasy] - Chapter 7.5

Chapter 7.5: Daily Grind

It was still an hour to dawn as Markus and Ezekiel made their way through the eerily quiet side alleys of the capital. This morning, Markus was delivering a sword his uncle had made to the academic district, so he had been waiting outside the dingy room Ezekiel rented. Markus's bright smile at seeing his friend turned into a grimace as he stifled a massive yawn.

As they walked, Markus said, "Well, this is fun." The words echoed dully in the silence.

Ezekiel chuckled darkly. "You don't know the half of it."

Markus gave him a sideward glance. "In all seriousness though," he said, "how are you doing? Really?" Even though they saw each other daily, they hadn't really had a chance to talk.

Ezekiel sighed. "I'm not going to lie, it's been tough." He didn't want to burden Markus with his hardships, so he simply said, "They think I'm just some trash with no future. But I'll prove them wrong."

Markus clapped him on the back encouragingly. "I have no doubt you will," he said. His tone betrayed his total confidence in his friend. "You have more determination than anyone I have ever met. You'll make something of yourself at the academy. I can feel it."

Even though Ezekiel didn't share Markus's positive certainty, he couldn't help the flicker of hope that sprang to life at Markus's words. He'd been working hard, and knowing that someone believed in him so absolutely flooded him with warmth. He smiled at his friend fondly.

"So," Markus said, "have you made any friends there?"

This exterminated the warmth in Ezekiel's chest on the spot. He grimaced and shook his head. "It's like I'm a pariah or something," he admitted. "I've tried talking to some of the other students, but they just brush me off or give me looks."

Markus's eyes flashed. "Don't let them get to you, Zeke," he said hotly. "Sometimes, people are idiots."

Ezekiel chuckled at this nugget of wisdom, and Markus grinned.

"You are a good person, Zeke, and a good friend," Markus continued earnestly. "If you keep pushing forward and stay true to yourself, I know you will find your place there. Not everyone is going to like you, and that's okay - but those who'll appreciate you for who you are will find you sooner or later."

"Thank you, Markus," Ezekiel said. Neither one of them mentioned Lilly.

They turned a corner into the main thoroughfare leading towards the academy. The way to the academy was familiar to Ezekiel by now, so familiar he thought he could have found his way there in near-perfect darkness. As they approached, the elemental towers of the academy were silhouetted against the first pale glow of morning light.

With a pat on the back, Markus turned to leave. "Do your thing, mage boy," he said cheekily, and with a final wave, disappeared into an alleyway, leaving Ezekiel standing alone in front of the academy.

Ezekiel took a deep breath and stepped forward, his eyes drifting toward the Evaluation Hall as he made his way inside. The memories of that day were still fresh in his mind, the sting of his peers' disdain still palpable.

For Ezekiel, the last three weeks had been long and grueling. The days blurred together as he woke up every morning before dawn to make the long journey from his lodgings to the academy. Despite the early hour, he was always wide awake and alert, fueled by his determination to succeed and prove everyone wrong. He knew he had been given a raw deal, but he was determined to make the most of it. He threw himself into his studies with fierce determination, soaking up every scrap of knowledge that was offered to him.

He made his way to his first mandatory morning class, called History of Magic. As expected, not one of the other students talked to him; even the seats around him remained empty, as if he had some sort of infectious disease the others could catch if they got too close. In turn, he set his jaw and kept his attention firmly on the lecturer, taking meticulous notes on the dates of the different treaties that would, presumably, culminate in the formation of the Arkenheim Empire - in a thousand years or so. Zeke had discovered a concerning pattern in the annals of the past two millennia. The empire appeared to have abandoned diplomacy and embarked on what could only be described as a crusade against all the other nations on the continent. Although Zeke could not determine the legitimacy of their actions, the textbooks he studied as part of his curriculum seemed to condone them.

When that class ended, he got up, mindfully ignoring every one of his classmates, and made his way to his next class, Theory of Mana. Again, the surrounding seats remained empty, but he was too used to this to care. After Theory of Mana came Mana Manipulation, followed by Magical Theory, and then it was time for lunch.

The Elementium had a dining hall for students, but not living in the dorms, and without the money to afford the lunches the dining hall served, he normally searched out a corner in a deserted hallway and nibbled on the hard rinds of bread and moldy apples that were usually all he could afford. If he was lucky, the lunch break ended without any of the students searching him out of boredom or accidentally stumbling upon him in his hiding spot, because those encounters usually didn't go well for Zeke; today, though, he was spared.

In the afternoon, he attended his Blood, Space, and Mind classes. Because of his tri-affinity, his afternoon classes went on for three-times as long as those of an apprentice with a single affinity. By the end of his third class, his core usually felt so depleted and tired that he could barely rouse any magic at all. But despite the rigorous workload, he persevered, day after day after day, driven by a burning desire to succeed. He knew these affinities were his only hope of making a name for himself at the academy, and he was determined to make the most of them.

After his last class of the day, Ezekiel packed up his things and made his way out of the academy. His luck for the day had apparently run out, however, and as he walked through the courtyard, he caught the attention of a group of students from his Magical Theory class.

"Hey, look who it is," one of them sneered. "If that isn't the weirdo with the freak magic."

Ezekiel kept his head held high and continued walking, neither slowing nor turning to face them.

Another student yelled, "No one wants you here, freak!"

Still, Ezekiel kept walking.

"How is your perfect affinity working out for you, Oh Genius One?" someone jeered.

And before he knew it, insults were raining down on him from all sides.

"Get lost, weirdo!"

"This is a place for real mages."

"Commoner scum!"

"It's called ELEMENT-ium for a reason!"

Ezekiel's fists clenched at his sides, but still he refused to rise to their bait. Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he spotted Lilly in a doorway of the Elementium, but when he looked again, there was no one there. He took a deep breath and tried to push away the anger and frustration that threatened to consume him. This was not the first time he had experienced this, and worse, since he had joined the academy, and he knew he would have to endure much more to reach his goal. But he refused to let them break him. He would succeed, no matter what.

After he had left the imposing gate of the academy behind and the cajoling insults of his classmates had faded into the distance, he made his way to the crafter's district. The meager savings he had come to the capital with had barely paid for a week's rent of his shabby room, and anything he needed to live now, he made running errands and helping out at different workshops in the crafter's district.

He held up his hand in greeting as he approached a woodshop that he had worked at before. "Hey, Archie," he said to the woodworker. "Anything I can do for you today?"

But Archie shook his head. "Sorry, boy, not today. It's been a slow day. Come back tomorrow."

Ezekiel nodded and continued down the street, stopping at all the open shops to offer his services, but his luck for the day had apparently run out. "Not today," was all he heard wherever he went.

Eventually, he found himself standing in front of Markus' uncle's shop much earlier than he had planned. Hammering was coming from the back of the shop, but as he hesitated out front, Markus' uncle stepped out of the door.

"Hi, Armin."

Armin said, "Well, well, well, look who it is."

For a split second, Ezekiel was transported back to the scene in the courtyard of the academy, where one of his bullies had used almost identical words to cajole him. But one look at Armin's welcoming smile and open face put Zeke's nerves at ease, and he managed to return the smile.

"You're early today," Armin said with a frown. "No work?"

Ezekiel shook his head.

"Oy, Markus! You want to take a break?" Armin called over his shoulder.

The hammering stopped, and a few seconds later, Markus appeared in the doorway, brushing sweat off his brow. "Did you say break?"

Armin gestured towards Ezekiel. "Let him take over for a while. His spindly mage arms need the exercise." He winked.

Markus immediately flexed his own arm, which had indeed grown quite muscular over the last month. "You make a good point," he agreed. "I'll let Zeke have a go." Without waiting for Zeke's response, he handed him the hammer and plopped down on a stool outside the shop.

Ezekiel hesitated for a moment, but then he put down his satchel, grabbed the hammer resolutely and went to work on the steel that Markus had been working on, and even though the muscles in his "spindly arms" started burning a few minutes in, he didn't stop folding and hammering until Markus called him to eat.

Like every night, Ezekiel sat down to dinner with Markus and Armin, and like every night, he listened to Markus and Armin discuss business and jobs and the goings-on in the crafter's quarter. Occasionally, he chimed in with a question or responded when either of them asked him something directly, but he didn't bring up anything from the academy and only gave vague answers when they asked him about it.

When he attempted to pay Armin for dinner before leaving, Armin waved him off. "You paid in labor today," Armin said jovially, "so I can't take your money. I won't let it be said that Armin from Feldstadt doesn't pay his dues!"

Ezekiel thanked him and waved goodbye. Night had fallen some hours ago already, and the city would have been pitch black if not for the lantern lit in the streets. Once he reached his lodgings, he went straight to his room and let himself fall onto the thin mattress of his bedding. He pulled a thin, threadbare blanket over himself and immediately fell into a fretful sleep.

Growing up, Ezekiel had been a cheerful and carefree person, but as the weeks went by, he found himself growing more and more bitter and cynical. The constant ridicule and mockery from his fellow students took a toll on him, despite his best efforts, and he no longer wore the bright smile on his face he once had. He became isolated, shutting himself off and spending most of his time alone. He also grew more stubborn, refusing to let the opinions of others deter him from his goals. Despite all this, Ezekiel remained determined to prove himself and show everyone that his non-traditional affinities were just as valuable as the more mainstream ones. Though he had lost some of his former spark, he was still determined to succeed.

The more time passed, the more Ezekiel found himself preoccupied with thoughts of Lilly. She had been by his side for as long as he could remember, someone he could confide in and who had cheered him up more times than he could count. But now, every time he saw her from afar, she seemed oblivious to his existence. It was hard to imagine that she hadn't seen him, that she wasn't aware of the tough time he was having, but he couldn't imagine that she could know what he was enduring and not search him out and comfort him. He admitted that he longed for her encouragement and friendship, and as the days passed, and he grew more despondent, he started thinking that he needed her warmth to keep going. Being cut off from her was as if the joyful part of his life had been ripped away from him, leaving a gaping hole of misery in its place.

He tried to push these feelings aside and focus on his studies, but they kept creeping back up. Often, he thought he caught a glimpse of her at the academy, only to realize that it was someone who only vaguely resembled her, or who had the same hairstyle as her, or sometimes, that there was no one there at all. When he did actually see her, it was always from a distance, and she looked happy and radiant surrounded by her new friends from the wind affinity. But whenever he called her, or rushed over to try to speak to her, she disappeared like smoke, and he was left feeling confused and even more isolated.

Finally, one day when he was dragging himself home from the crafter district, he spotted Lilly just a little way down the road, walking towards him. Not someone who looked like her, not a mirage, but actually her. He froze, unsure of what to do. She had spotted him as well, and for a moment their eyes met. Ezekiel's whole body tingled, as if nerves that had been dormant for weeks were coming back to life.

Then Lilly looked away and continued walking. Pain surged in Ezekiel's chest. He had to do something. He had to know. He gathered all of his courage and ran after her.

"Lilly, wait!" he exclaimed.

She stopped, stiffly turning to look at him. There was no warmth in her gaze, only sadness.

"Ezekiel," she said flatly.

Ezekiel hesitated. It had been a long time since Lilly had called him anything but "Zeke."

"Lilly, what's going on?" he said finally. "Why are you ignoring me? Why won't you talk to me?"

She crossed her arms defensively in front of her chest, but said nothing.

Ezekiel gave her a hesitant smile. "I've missed you."

Lilly looked away from Zeke. "I'm sorry, Ezekiel," she said, her voice wobbling. "I-I can't be seen with you anymore." Having started, the words bubbled out of Lilly, "I-I don't want to be an outcast. You know what I mean. The other students, they won't let it go if we're seen together. I couldn't bear it, the isolation, the bullying." Her eyes filled with tears. "I can't. I won't." She shook her head defiantly and gave him a challenging look. "There is someone with a lot of influence who doesn't want you to be happy here."

The hurt must have been evident on his face, because Lilly's tone changed completely from one moment to the next. "Please understand, Zeke," she pleaded, her voice breaking. "I don't want to hurt you, but I have to think about myself and my future at the academy."

And gave him one last look and then, just like that, she turned and walked away.

Ezekiel's heart felt like it had been ripped out of his chest. Did their years of friendship mean so little?

Tears prickled at the corners of his eyes as he stood there, rooted to the spot, unable to move. Life at the academy had already been hard, but he had thought his best friends would be by his side to help him through it. Even as Lilly had kept her distance, he had held on to the hope that it was only a misunderstanding, only a temporary setback. He had never expected to lose one of his best friends by attending the academy. As the minutes ticked by, Ezekiel's anger and hurt began to bubble up inside of him.

How could Lilly give up on their friendship like this? How could she not even try to fight for him?

He wanted to scream, to lash out and indulge his burning anger, but he knew that it wouldn't solve anything. Instead, he wiped the tears from his eyes and squared his shoulders. He took a deep, shuddering breath and tried to compose himself. Despite his best efforts, the burning in his core only seemed to grow. It was a feeling he had become all too familiar with, one that had been with him almost since he had arrived at Elementium Academy. The other students had ridiculed and belittled him from the moment he stepped foot on campus. But he had known that Lilly would always be there for him, a constant source of support and encouragement. Or, at least, he had thought she would be.

Had he ever really known her at all?

The pain became too sharp to bear, and he found himself doubling over and gasping for breath. He forced himself to breathe in deeply and to hold the air in, focusing on the burning in his core and the pain that seemed to radiate from it. And then, when he couldn't hold his breath any longer, he released it in a long, deep sigh, expelling all the hurt and disappointment with it.

He sank to the ground, gasping. The pain had dulled to a hollow ache, but his mind continued reeling from what had just happened.

This is just one more difficulty, he told himself. I'll get through this, too.

He couldn't let the pain and disappointment consume him, not if he wanted to survive at Elementium. When he finally stood up, the look in his eyes had changed once again. A tiny piece of the gentle soul he had once been had crumbled away, without anyone knowing about its passing. He made his way back to his cramped, lonely apartment in a haze. It wouldn't be easy, but he would not let anyone break him - neither his enemies nor his friends. He would prove stronger than they could possibly imagine.

After the encounter with Lilly, Ezekiel found himself avoiding even Markus. Instead of having dinner with him and Armin, he instead holed up in his cramped, dingy room every night. He lost his appetite and struggled to sleep, his mind constantly flipping between the hopes he had had for himself as a student at the Elementium and the dreary reality of his life as an apprentice. He grew thin and hollow-cheeked, his skin taking on an unhealthy pallor, and consequently, his long days at the academy, followed by working in the crafter's district, took an even bigger toll on his body and mind, making him ever more miserable.

He continued to force himself through the motions, never missing a lesson at the academy, never skipping a day's work, but his body and mind were deteriorating. He knew he needed to do something to break out of this spiral of self-destruction, but he didn't know what. What was worse, as time went on, Ezekiel's classmates grew more daring, adding physical attacks to their verbal assaults. His Blood affinity's ability to quickly heal any injuries he sustained made it easy for his classmates to abuse him when no one was looking - and because his injuries normally disappeared within minutes, there was never any evidence. Even if he had the bruises to show for it, the other students knew that his lack of a primary affinity and noble affiliation meant he had literally no protection, and they took every opportunity to point this out to him.

It was a constant cycle of abuse and healing, and Ezekiel found himself feeling more isolated and alone than ever before. He tried his best to stay strong, to not let the daily abuse get to him, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to hold on to hope. Despite his best efforts, he couldn't convince himself that he could ever belong at Elementium, that he would ever be accepted by the other students or allowed to exist in peace.

He just wanted to find a way to fit in, to be seen as more than a burden.

But as the semester ticked on, one miserable day after another, he couldn't fight the nagging suspicion that his struggles would ultimately prove futile.

Chapter 7.5: Daily Grind It was still an hour to dawn as Markus and Ezekiel made their way through the eerily quiet side alleys of the capital. This morning, Markus was delivering a sword his uncle had made to the academic district, so he had been waiting outside the dingy room Ezekiel rented. Markus's bright smile at seeing his friend turned into a grimace as he stifled a massive yawn. As they walked, Markus said, "Well, this is fun." The words echoed dully in the silence. Ezekiel chuckled darkly. "You don't know the half of it." Markus gave him a sideward glance. "In all seriousness though," he said, "how are you doing? Really?" Even though they saw each other daily, they hadn't really had a chance to talk. Ezekiel sighed. "I'm not going to lie, it's been tough." He didn't want to burden Markus with his hardships, so he simply said, "They think I'm just some trash with no future. But I'll prove them wrong." Markus clapped him on the back encouragingly. "I have no doubt you will," he said. His tone betrayed his total confidence in his friend. "You have more determination than anyone I have ever met. You'll make something of yourself at the academy. I can feel it." Even though Ezekiel didn't share Markus's positive certainty, he couldn't help the flicker of hope that sprang to life at Markus's words. He'd been working hard, and knowing that someone believed in him so absolutely flooded him with warmth. He smiled at his friend fondly. "So," Markus said, "have you made any friends there?" This exterminated the warmth in Ezekiel's chest on the spot. He grimaced and shook his head. "It's like I'm a pariah or something," he admitted. "I've tried talking to some of the other students, but they just brush me off or give me looks." Markus's eyes flashed. "Don't let them get to you, Zeke," he said hotly. "Sometimes, people are idiots." Ezekiel chuckled at this nugget of wisdom, and Markus grinned. "You are a good person, Zeke, and a good friend," Markus continued earnestly. "If you keep pushing forward and stay true to yourself, I know you will find your place there. Not everyone is going to like you, and that's okay - but those who'll appreciate you for who you are will find you sooner or later." "Thank you, Markus," Ezekiel said. Neither one of them mentioned Lilly. They turned a corner into the main thoroughfare leading towards the academy. The way to the academy was familiar to Ezekiel by now, so familiar he thought he could have found his way there in near-perfect darkness. As they approached, the elemental towers of the academy were silhouetted against the first pale glow of morning light. With a pat on the back, Markus turned to leave. "Do your thing, mage boy," he said cheekily, and with a final wave, disappeared into an alleyway, leaving Ezekiel standing alone in front of the academy. Ezekiel took a deep breath and stepped forward, his eyes drifting toward the Evaluation Hall as he made his way inside. The memories of that day were still fresh in his mind, the sting of his peers' disdain still palpable. For Ezekiel, the last three weeks had been long and grueling. The days blurred together as he woke up every morning before dawn to make the long journey from his lodgings to the academy. Despite the early hour, he was always wide awake and alert, fueled by his determination to succeed and prove everyone wrong. He knew he had been given a raw deal, but he was determined to make the most of it. He threw himself into his studies with fierce determination, soaking up every scrap of knowledge that was offered to him. He made his way to his first mandatory morning class, called History of Magic. As expected, not one of the other students talked to him; even the seats around him remained empty, as if he had some sort of infectious disease the others could catch if they got too close. In turn, he set his jaw and kept his attention firmly on the lecturer, taking meticulous notes on the dates of the different treaties that would, presumably, culminate in the formation of the Arkenheim Empire - in a thousand years or so. Zeke had discovered a concerning pattern in the annals of the past two millennia. The empire appeared to have abandoned diplomacy and embarked on what could only be described as a crusade against all the other nations on the continent. Although Zeke could not determine the legitimacy of their actions, the textbooks he studied as part of his curriculum seemed to condone them. When that class ended, he got up, mindfully ignoring every one of his classmates, and made his way to his next class, Theory of Mana. Again, the surrounding seats remained empty, but he was too used to this to care. After Theory of Mana came Mana Manipulation, followed by Magical Theory, and then it was time for lunch. The Elementium had a dining hall for students, but not living in the dorms, and without the money to afford the lunches the dining hall served, he normally searched out a corner in a deserted hallway and nibbled on the hard rinds of bread and moldy apples that were usually all he could afford. If he was lucky, the lunch break ended without any of the students searching him out of boredom or accidentally stumbling upon him in his hiding spot, because those encounters usually didn't go well for Zeke; today, though, he was spared. In the afternoon, he attended his Blood, Space, and Mind classes. Because of his tri-affinity, his afternoon classes went on for three-times as long as those of an apprentice with a single affinity. By the end of his third class, his core usually felt so depleted and tired that he could barely rouse any magic at all. But despite the rigorous workload, he persevered, day after day after day, driven by a burning desire to succeed. He knew these affinities were his only hope of making a name for himself at the academy, and he was determined to make the most of them. After his last class of the day, Ezekiel packed up his things and made his way out of the academy. His luck for the day had apparently run out, however, and as he walked through the courtyard, he caught the attention of a group of students from his Magical Theory class. "Hey, look who it is," one of them sneered. "If that isn't the weirdo with the freak magic." Ezekiel kept his head held high and continued walking, neither slowing nor turning to face them. Another student yelled, "No one wants you here, freak!" Still, Ezekiel kept walking. "How is your perfect affinity working out for you, Oh Genius One?" someone jeered. And before he knew it, insults were raining down on him from all sides. "Get lost, weirdo!" "This is a place for real mages." "Commoner scum!" "It's called ELEMENT-ium for a reason!" Ezekiel's fists clenched at his sides, but still he refused to rise to their bait. Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he spotted Lilly in a doorway of the Elementium, but when he looked again, there was no one there. He took a deep breath and tried to push away the anger and frustration that threatened to consume him. This was not the first time he had experienced this, and worse, since he had joined the academy, and he knew he would have to endure much more to reach his goal. But he refused to let them break him. He would succeed, no matter what. After he had left the imposing gate of the academy behind and the cajoling insults of his classmates had faded into the distance, he made his way to the crafter's district. The meager savings he had come to the capital with had barely paid for a week's rent of his shabby room, and anything he needed to live now, he made running errands and helping out at different workshops in the crafter's district. He held up his hand in greeting as he approached a woodshop that he had worked at before. "Hey, Archie," he said to the woodworker. "Anything I can do for you today?" But Archie shook his head. "Sorry, boy, not today. It's been a slow day. Come back tomorrow." Ezekiel nodded and continued down the street, stopping at all the open shops to offer his services, but his luck for the day had apparently run out. "Not today," was all he heard wherever he went. Eventually, he found himself standing in front of Markus' uncle's shop much earlier than he had planned. Hammering was coming from the back of the shop, but as he hesitated out front, Markus' uncle stepped out of the door. "Hi, Armin." Armin said, "Well, well, well, look who it is." For a split second, Ezekiel was transported back to the scene in the courtyard of the academy, where one of his bullies had used almost identical words to cajole him. But one look at Armin's welcoming smile and open face put Zeke's nerves at ease, and he managed to return the smile. "You're early today," Armin said with a frown. "No work?" Ezekiel shook his head. "Oy, Markus! You want to take a break?" Armin called over his shoulder. The hammering stopped, and a few seconds later, Markus appeared in the doorway, brushing sweat off his brow. "Did you say break?" Armin gestured towards Ezekiel. "Let him take over for a while. His spindly mage arms need the exercise." He winked. Markus immediately flexed his own arm, which had indeed grown quite muscular over the last month. "You make a good point," he agreed. "I'll let Zeke have a go." Without waiting for Zeke's response, he handed him the hammer and plopped down on a stool outside the shop. Ezekiel hesitated for a moment, but then he put down his satchel, grabbed the hammer resolutely and went to work on the steel that Markus had been working on, and even though the muscles in his "spindly arms" started burning a few minutes in, he didn't stop folding and hammering until Markus called him to eat. Like every night, Ezekiel sat down to dinner with Markus and Armin, and like every night, he listened to Markus and Armin discuss business and jobs and the goings-on in the crafter's quarter. Occasionally, he chimed in with a question or responded when either of them asked him something directly, but he didn't bring up anything from the academy and only gave vague answers when they asked him about it. When he attempted to pay Armin for dinner before leaving, Armin waved him off. "You paid in labor today," Armin said jovially, "so I can't take your money. I won't let it be said that Armin from Feldstadt doesn't pay his dues!" Ezekiel thanked him and waved goodbye. Night had fallen some hours ago already, and the city would have been pitch black if not for the lantern lit in the streets. Once he reached his lodgings, he went straight to his room and let himself fall onto the thin mattress of his bedding. He pulled a thin, threadbare blanket over himself and immediately fell into a fretful sleep. Growing up, Ezekiel had been a cheerful and carefree person, but as the weeks went by, he found himself growing more and more bitter and cynical. The constant ridicule and mockery from his fellow students took a toll on him, despite his best efforts, and he no longer wore the bright smile on his face he once had. He became isolated, shutting himself off and spending most of his time alone. He also grew more stubborn, refusing to let the opinions of others deter him from his goals. Despite all this, Ezekiel remained determined to prove himself and show everyone that his non-traditional affinities were just as valuable as the more mainstream ones. Though he had lost some of his former spark, he was still determined to succeed. The more time passed, the more Ezekiel found himself preoccupied with thoughts of Lilly. She had been by his side for as long as he could remember, someone he could confide in and who had cheered him up more times than he could count. But now, every time he saw her from afar, she seemed oblivious to his existence. It was hard to imagine that she hadn't seen him, that she wasn't aware of the tough time he was having, but he couldn't imagine that she could know what he was enduring and not search him out and comfort him. He admitted that he longed for her encouragement and friendship, and as the days passed, and he grew more despondent, he started thinking that he needed her warmth to keep going. Being cut off from her was as if the joyful part of his life had been ripped away from him, leaving a gaping hole of misery in its place. He tried to push these feelings aside and focus on his studies, but they kept creeping back up. Often, he thought he caught a glimpse of her at the academy, only to realize that it was someone who only vaguely resembled her, or who had the same hairstyle as her, or sometimes, that there was no one there at all. When he did actually see her, it was always from a distance, and she looked happy and radiant surrounded by her new friends from the wind affinity. But whenever he called her, or rushed over to try to speak to her, she disappeared like smoke, and he was left feeling confused and even more isolated. Finally, one day when he was dragging himself home from the crafter district, he spotted Lilly just a little way down the road, walking towards him. Not someone who looked like her, not a mirage, but actually her. He froze, unsure of what to do. She had spotted him as well, and for a moment their eyes met. Ezekiel's whole body tingled, as if nerves that had been dormant for weeks were coming back to life. Then Lilly looked away and continued walking. Pain surged in Ezekiel's chest. He had to do something. He had to know. He gathered all of his courage and ran after her. "Lilly, wait!" he exclaimed. She stopped, stiffly turning to look at him. There was no warmth in her gaze, only sadness. "Ezekiel," she said flatly. Ezekiel hesitated. It had been a long time since Lilly had called him anything but "Zeke." "Lilly, what's going on?" he said finally. "Why are you ignoring me? Why won't you talk to me?" She crossed her arms defensively in front of her chest, but said nothing. Ezekiel gave her a hesitant smile. "I've missed you." Lilly looked away from Zeke. "I'm sorry, Ezekiel," she said, her voice wobbling. "I-I can't be seen with you anymore." Having started, the words bubbled out of Lilly, "I-I don't want to be an outcast. You know what I mean. The other students, they won't let it go if we're seen together. I couldn't bear it, the isolation, the bullying." Her eyes filled with tears. "I can't. I won't." She shook her head defiantly and gave him a challenging look. "There is someone with a lot of influence who doesn't want you to be happy here." The hurt must have been evident on his face, because Lilly's tone changed completely from one moment to the next. "Please understand, Zeke," she pleaded, her voice breaking. "I don't want to hurt you, but I have to think about myself and my future at the academy." And gave him one last look and then, just like that, she turned and walked away. Ezekiel's heart felt like it had been ripped out of his chest. Did their years of friendship mean so little? Tears prickled at the corners of his eyes as he stood there, rooted to the spot, unable to move. Life at the academy had already been hard, but he had thought his best friends would be by his side to help him through it. Even as Lilly had kept her distance, he had held on to the hope that it was only a misunderstanding, only a temporary setback. He had never expected to lose one of his best friends by attending the academy. As the minutes ticked by, Ezekiel's anger and hurt began to bubble up inside of him. How could Lilly give up on their friendship like this? How could she not even try to fight for him? He wanted to scream, to lash out and indulge his burning anger, but he knew that it wouldn't solve anything. Instead, he wiped the tears from his eyes and squared his shoulders. He took a deep, shuddering breath and tried to compose himself. Despite his best efforts, the burning in his core only seemed to grow. It was a feeling he had become all too familiar with, one that had been with him almost since he had arrived at Elementium Academy. The other students had ridiculed and belittled him from the moment he stepped foot on campus. But he had known that Lilly would always be there for him, a constant source of support and encouragement. Or, at least, he had thought she would be. Had he ever really known her at all? The pain became too sharp to bear, and he found himself doubling over and gasping for breath. He forced himself to breathe in deeply and to hold the air in, focusing on the burning in his core and the pain that seemed to radiate from it. And then, when he couldn't hold his breath any longer, he released it in a long, deep sigh, expelling all the hurt and disappointment with it. He sank to the ground, gasping. The pain had dulled to a hollow ache, but his mind continued reeling from what had just happened. This is just one more difficulty, he told himself. I'll get through this, too. He couldn't let the pain and disappointment consume him, not if he wanted to survive at Elementium. When he finally stood up, the look in his eyes had changed once again. A tiny piece of the gentle soul he had once been had crumbled away, without anyone knowing about its passing. He made his way back to his cramped, lonely apartment in a haze. It wouldn't be easy, but he would not let anyone break him - neither his enemies nor his friends. He would prove stronger than they could possibly imagine. After the encounter with Lilly, Ezekiel found himself avoiding even Markus. Instead of having dinner with him and Armin, he instead holed up in his cramped, dingy room every night. He lost his appetite and struggled to sleep, his mind constantly flipping between the hopes he had had for himself as a student at the Elementium and the dreary reality of his life as an apprentice. He grew thin and hollow-cheeked, his skin taking on an unhealthy pallor, and consequently, his long days at the academy, followed by working in the crafter's district, took an even bigger toll on his body and mind, making him ever more miserable. He continued to force himself through the motions, never missing a lesson at the academy, never skipping a day's work, but his body and mind were deteriorating. He knew he needed to do something to break out of this spiral of self-destruction, but he didn't know what. What was worse, as time went on, Ezekiel's classmates grew more daring, adding physical attacks to their verbal assaults. His Blood affinity's ability to quickly heal any injuries he sustained made it easy for his classmates to abuse him when no one was looking - and because his injuries normally disappeared within minutes, there was never any evidence. Even if he had the bruises to show for it, the other students knew that his lack of a primary affinity and noble affiliation meant he had literally no protection, and they took every opportunity to point this out to him. It was a constant cycle of abuse and healing, and Ezekiel found himself feeling more isolated and alone than ever before. He tried his best to stay strong, to not let the daily abuse get to him, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to hold on to hope. Despite his best efforts, he couldn't convince himself that he could ever belong at Elementium, that he would ever be accepted by the other students or allowed to exist in peace. He just wanted to find a way to fit in, to be seen as more than a burden. But as the semester ticked on, one miserable day after another, he couldn't fight the nagging suspicion that his struggles would ultimately prove futile.