When I was your man, The Last
The office bustled around at the start of the new week. Some desks focused on reports and distribution, others focused on modification and altercations, and there was even a team for sorting articles. It was a place that had formed its own system and atmosphere as several tasks were rotated in order.
Despite how busy it was, the atmosphere of the office was a bit different than usual. This was due to the mix of multinational reporters dispatched from various regions in addition to the official workers who were permanently stationed there and handled administrative affairs. From their faces, you could tell that they were probably dispatched correspondents that worked in China or Japan.
Remembering the editor’s words calling for reporters who had time conditions related to the photo exhibition, Ha Joyoon diligently walked toward the conference room.
“Reporter Ha!”
The familiar voice made Ha Joyoon pause his steps. It was Nam Hyunwoo.
“Are you going for the meeting before the photo planning?”
“Yes.”
“I’m also scheduled to be in the news coverage department.”
“Oh…”
“I heard the editor-in-chief actively recommended you for the interview.”
“No. That’s not…”
“Ey… Are you feeling shy again?”
He moved to poke at his sides with his forearms in mischief. Ha Joyoon smiled and shook his head again.
“That’s really not it. I was the only one at the office when it was being decided.”
“Of course it is. Everyone is assigned to Asia but all of your activities are about civil wars. The safety scale is different.”
“Haha…”
His eyes curled round in awkwardness. It was more comfortable to respond to Nam Hyunwoo’s words because he knew from experience that there was no hidden meaning to it. Nam Hyunwoo approached him with familiarity, didn’t seem to hate him, treated him favorably, and Ha Joyoon felt like he had been accepted comfortably by him.
To Ha Joyoon who had lived his life blocking out unnecessary relationships and strangers’ interest towards him, it was definitely a clumsy but welcome change. The steps of the two gradually became in tune with each other as they continued their friendly conversation.
“The director also said he would attend today’s meeting. From the main meeting, only the editor-in-chief will attend, and the final decision and contact will be made by the two.”
“Hmm…”
Ha Joyoon recalled the words of Shin Kwonjoo, who he was supposed to see at the meeting, with his head calmly bowed. Maybe it was something he’d have to think about briefly. Whatever choice he makes…
“I don’t know how much we’ll talk about today.”
“Okay…”
“I heard that the planning meeting will be held at the same time as the headquarters, but I don’t know how it’s going. To be honest, I don’t really know much about it.”
“Oh, you must be reporters. We arrived a little early.”
A man with curly permed hair and a strong impression greeted first, raising his hand for a handshake. The people who appeared to be his subordinates also stood up.
“It’s nice to meet you.”
“Hello.”
Along with greetings, unfamiliar faces appeared one by one announcing their existence. His uninterested gaze moved slowly. And at some point, his light brown irises stopped stock-still as if out of breath. The person he was faced with also looked the same.
He never would have thought there’d be any reason for them to meet at work. Round face, round eyes that drooped like a puppy’s and the staunch character hidden behind them. The man in front of Ha Joyoon was someone he knew all too well.
Seo Youngwoo.
Kim Taejung’s new love.
The person beside Kim Taejung while he was away.
“…Hello. I’m Seo Youngwoo.”
“…”
“…It’s nice to meet you.”
Ha Joyoon looked down at the other’s hand that was stretched out in front of him and his breath dropped. His vision darkened and his heart pounded as if it was about to explode. As he used all his might to climb up from the despair filled pit bottom he was in, he felt like the despair had now cut off his arms and was keeping him captive. He tried to pretend he was calm but his whole body trembled and his eardrums seemed damaged, unable to hear a sound.
Whirr- Whirr…- Tinnitus that threatened to split through his head resonated like a siren in his ears. He could barely move a finger. A weathered piece of his mind pierced at his heart. Suddenly one of his cheeks hurt. It was an evidence and scar of the relationship Kang Taejung cut off with his own hand.
You ended up crying at my hideous begging.
I’m sorry for you. I’m sorry…
The completely unexpected encounter felt violent. Fragments of memories that had been buried clumsily flooded him to the point where they were difficult to accommodate.
‘It’s been half a year since we started dating. Youngwoo asked me out first… but it was my choice to accept.’
‘Just… someone I know.’
‘Yoon-ah, Youngwoo was… I dated him while you were gone, I can’t just… leave him because you’re back. That’s why I can’t.’
‘I want to be faithful to Youngwoo now just like I was faithful to you in the past.’
What did you say? Right, that you’d probably found someone more precious to you than I was. That it was your choice to accept him. That you wanted to be faithful to him. Not someone selfish who leaves at will like me, but someone who made you feel secure and stayed by your side.
Between the conversing people, he could see Seo Youngwoo’s gaze, filled with a clear meaning. Anxiousness and vigilance. Ha Joyoon couldn’t understand why he was looking at him like that. Didn’t he take everything? Aside from photography, wasn’t he the one who stole Ha Joyoon’s other half and gained victory?
There was nothing Ha Joyoon could do to the other who showed his hostility toward him. All he could do was turn his head as if he had committed a crime and avoid Seo Youngwoo’s gaze. He wasn’t confident enough to look at him properly, hiding his hatred and resentment. His unrefined feelings seemed like they would be revealed again.
…ter…
…por…Ha…
…porter…
“Reporter Ha!”
“…Ah.”
At the sound of Nam Hyunwoo’s voice calling him, Ha Joyoon blinked hastily. His blurred vision cleared and he was once again, brought back in the middle of his cold reality.
“Why were you so deep in thought? You completely blanked out there. Please sit.”
“…Okay. Thank you.”
Nam Hyun-woo smiled generously and led the man next to him who was blankly standing still, to an empty seat. Reporters who followed behind him began to sit down appropriately, and the five-pyeong conference room was immediately crowded with people.
Following this, they all exchanged greetings, introducing themselves to each other and creating a warm atmosphere. Only one person could not adapt and did not mingle with the rest. Although he sat down thanks to Nam Hyunwoo’s consideration, his pupils, which were empty, wandered away without being able to focus.
[It’s a pleasure to meet you. My name is Ed McKellen. You can just call me Ed.]
At the unusual language, Ha Joyoon suppressed his fatigue and calmly turned his head. Striking blonde hair, blue eyes and freckle covered cheeks. When he looked back in his memory, there wasn’t a particular name that came to mind. He was probably a resident reporter of another Asian country. With little energy, Ha Joyoon barely managed to greet him with courtesy.
[I’m Ha Joyoon.]
[I know. I’ve heard about you a few times. Do you work in Korea now? I’m a resident in Shanghai. By the way, do you remember Phillip?]
Surprised by the familiar name, his mouth fell open. Ha Joyoon quickly forgot that he was holding his breath until a while ago and turned his upper body toward the man who called himself Ed.
[Do you know Phillip? Where is he now?]
[He’s a long time friend. I was in Khan Yunis in Gaza Strip until recently, but I lost contact with him these days. He confirms his survival by sending pictures sometimes.]
The man winked one eye and leisurely asked for a handshake. Ha Joyoon’s expression while holding his hands still looked bewildered. The last time he met that person was such a long time ago, on the night of crossing the Greece border.
In the Mediterranean Sea, the most beautiful sea and most dangerous boundary for refugees, Philip Bauer was a reporter who took pictures of those who risked the rest of their lives to survive but lost their lives too easily, informing the world of their existence.
Suddenly, he remembered the last night with him. It was a rainy winter, and all they had were old blankets, bonfires, and poor-tasting cans of Red Bin, but the conversation they had all night remained clear and deep in his heart even years later. Emotions such as sadness, longing, and forgotten anger rose quietly again in his eyes as he recalled the past.
[Phillip talked about you alot. He showed me the pictures you took together. I thought your face looked familiar so I came over to talk and I was right.]
[We were together for a few months when I stayed in Greece.]
[He said you were a good reporter. It feels ridiculous that I didn’t know you even though we’re affiliated to the same company.]
[I was always curious about how he’s doing but I never knew I’d hear about him here…]
Ha Joyoon let out a laugh mixed with hurt, his words slurred at the end. The reality that had flowed by diligently with time had now recreated a new imprint. When he thought about how he could never know what would happen next in life, he wanted to spend each minute and second of it a little more valuably. A moment of unbearable shame flooded over him.
What in the world am I doing here?
“Oh, the Editor-in-chief and Director are here.”
A group of people entered the conference room, the closed door reopening with a small commotion. Behind the editor-in-chief who had a kindhearted impression, appeared another man with a distinct air to him dressed in a black suit.
The man who walked in with long strides, looked at Ha Joyoon for a while before quickly moving to find his seat. There was no lingering, no sorrowful eyes, and the extremely dull sound of his footsteps disappeared with him in an instant.
As the somewhat chaotic atmosphere quickly cleared up, a moment of silence for reorganization came. The other team leader, who had been leading the atmosphere until a while ago, brightened his face and reached a hand to Shin Kwonjoo for a handshake.
“I’m Lee Jongseon, team leader of the TnG Culture and Arts Planning team.”
“Shin Kwonjoo.”
He held the man’s hand briefly and sat down. At his signal, everyone began to quickly scan through the documents placed in front of them. Ha Joyoon also focused all his attention on them, trying to leave his nauseated mind behind. However, his effort was overshadowed by the fact that not even a consonant had entered into his cognitive circuit. His conscious effort not to see someone further shook his mind.
“First off, thank you for sparing your precious time to attend this meeting. I heard that reporters from other countries besides Korea were invited. We also prepared an interpreter, so please be more comfortable and please help in the sketch interview after the meeting.”
Several nodded in response to Lee Jongseon’s greeting. Ha Joyoon also tried to concentrate on the documents, shaking his head. Shin Kwonjoo simply glanced at the documents, rolled up his sleeves and gave instructions to the other party.
“Please briefly explain the intention, concept, and direction of the project.”
“Sure, we brought our own materials. Please look at the screen. Mr. Youngwoo, start it.”
“Briefly. Please only discuss the essentials.”
His eyes shone fiercely, almost digging, as he looked through the materials. The agency’s personnel hurriedly gestured toward Seo Youngwoo due to Shin Kwonjoo’s tense mood. Seo Youngwoo also reacted quickly and ran to the back of the meeting room, turned off the lights, and raised the pointer.
Click.
Along with the sound of a button being pressed down, came various tables and text with white shrouded surfaces through the beam projector. After checking the first slide, Lee Jongseon gestured at Seo Youngwoo once more.
After hesitating for a while, he soon walked out to the front without reserve. He looked bold and confident greeting people and introducing the company. From his strong and passionate ambience, he seemed like the exact opposite of Ha Joyoon in everything.
Even though he knew it was pointless, he was unwittingly reflecting on what made Seo Youngwoo different or better than himself. It was a self-consuming act. Painfully biting at his lips without realizing it, Ha Joyoon stared at Seo Youngwoo with difficulty.
“First of all, let me briefly explain the planning intentions of this photo exhibition.”
People’s attention was already focused on him as he spoke in a moderate tone. Soon after, he skillfully continued to explain the exhibition planning process and detailed schedule that they were preparing. Seo Youngwoo’s grammar, a mixture of sophisticated jokes and seriousness, made it easy to understand and accept the complex planning procedures. Even to Ha Joyoon who was ignorant of office work and only focused on photography, he seemed competent enough.
“This is a formation of our photo exhibition. I think it’d be a good idea to refer to it.”
Click- As the slide changed, the screen showed the photo exhibition of Waiton News Agency, which had recently finished exhibition. It was a structure in which museums were organized separately according to theme, and reporters were allotted museums to display photos. Among them, a sidewalk photo studio related to realism caught Ha Joyoon’s eye for a while, but he couldn’t concentrate. It wasn’t that person’s problem. It was just his own psychological problem.
Unhidden suffering was sprinkled over his pale face. The other person’s voice, breathing, and even his small gestures hurt.
With the pain continuing to gnaw at him without end, Ha Joyoon eventually buried his face in his palm, hiding his expressions away. He closed his eyes and blocked all his senses, not noticing another gaze looking at him.
When I was your man, The Last
The office bustled around at the start of the new week. Some desks focused on reports and distribution, others focused on modification and altercations, and there was even a team for sorting articles. It was a place that had formed its own system and atmosphere as several tasks were rotated in order.
Despite how busy it was, the atmosphere of the office was a bit different than usual. This was due to the mix of multinational reporters dispatched from various regions in addition to the official workers who were permanently stationed there and handled administrative affairs. From their faces, you could tell that they were probably dispatched correspondents that worked in China or Japan.
Remembering the editor’s words calling for reporters who had time conditions related to the photo exhibition, Ha Joyoon diligently walked toward the conference room.
“Reporter Ha!”
The familiar voice made Ha Joyoon pause his steps. It was Nam Hyunwoo.
“Are you going for the meeting before the photo planning?”
“Yes.”
“I’m also scheduled to be in the news coverage department.”
“Oh…”
“I heard the editor-in-chief actively recommended you for the interview.”
“No. That’s not…”
“Ey… Are you feeling shy again?”
He moved to poke at his sides with his forearms in mischief. Ha Joyoon smiled and shook his head again.
“That’s really not it. I was the only one at the office when it was being decided.”
“Of course it is. Everyone is assigned to Asia but all of your activities are about civil wars. The safety scale is different.”
“Haha…”
His eyes curled round in awkwardness. It was more comfortable to respond to Nam Hyunwoo’s words because he knew from experience that there was no hidden meaning to it. Nam Hyunwoo approached him with familiarity, didn’t seem to hate him, treated him favorably, and Ha Joyoon felt like he had been accepted comfortably by him.
To Ha Joyoon who had lived his life blocking out unnecessary relationships and strangers’ interest towards him, it was definitely a clumsy but welcome change. The steps of the two gradually became in tune with each other as they continued their friendly conversation.
“The director also said he would attend today’s meeting. From the main meeting, only the editor-in-chief will attend, and the final decision and contact will be made by the two.”
“Hmm…”
Ha Joyoon recalled the words of Shin Kwonjoo, who he was supposed to see at the meeting, with his head calmly bowed. Maybe it was something he’d have to think about briefly. Whatever choice he makes…
“I don’t know how much we’ll talk about today.”
“Okay…”
“I heard that the planning meeting will be held at the same time as the headquarters, but I don’t know how it’s going. To be honest, I don’t really know much about it.”
“Oh, you must be reporters. We arrived a little early.”
A man with curly permed hair and a strong impression greeted first, raising his hand for a handshake. The people who appeared to be his subordinates also stood up.
“It’s nice to meet you.”
“Hello.”
Along with greetings, unfamiliar faces appeared one by one announcing their existence. His uninterested gaze moved slowly. And at some point, his light brown irises stopped stock-still as if out of breath. The person he was faced with also looked the same.
He never would have thought there’d be any reason for them to meet at work. Round face, round eyes that drooped like a puppy’s and the staunch character hidden behind them. The man in front of Ha Joyoon was someone he knew all too well.
Seo Youngwoo.
Kim Taejung’s new love.
The person beside Kim Taejung while he was away.
“…Hello. I’m Seo Youngwoo.”
“…”
“…It’s nice to meet you.”
Ha Joyoon looked down at the other’s hand that was stretched out in front of him and his breath dropped. His vision darkened and his heart pounded as if it was about to explode. As he used all his might to climb up from the despair filled pit bottom he was in, he felt like the despair had now cut off his arms and was keeping him captive. He tried to pretend he was calm but his whole body trembled and his eardrums seemed damaged, unable to hear a sound.
Whirr- Whirr…- Tinnitus that threatened to split through his head resonated like a siren in his ears. He could barely move a finger. A weathered piece of his mind pierced at his heart. Suddenly one of his cheeks hurt. It was an evidence and scar of the relationship Kang Taejung cut off with his own hand.
You ended up crying at my hideous begging.
I’m sorry for you. I’m sorry…
The completely unexpected encounter felt violent. Fragments of memories that had been buried clumsily flooded him to the point where they were difficult to accommodate.
‘It’s been half a year since we started dating. Youngwoo asked me out first… but it was my choice to accept.’
‘Just… someone I know.’
‘Yoon-ah, Youngwoo was… I dated him while you were gone, I can’t just… leave him because you’re back. That’s why I can’t.’
‘I want to be faithful to Youngwoo now just like I was faithful to you in the past.’
What did you say? Right, that you’d probably found someone more precious to you than I was. That it was your choice to accept him. That you wanted to be faithful to him. Not someone selfish who leaves at will like me, but someone who made you feel secure and stayed by your side.
Between the conversing people, he could see Seo Youngwoo’s gaze, filled with a clear meaning. Anxiousness and vigilance. Ha Joyoon couldn’t understand why he was looking at him like that. Didn’t he take everything? Aside from photography, wasn’t he the one who stole Ha Joyoon’s other half and gained victory?
There was nothing Ha Joyoon could do to the other who showed his hostility toward him. All he could do was turn his head as if he had committed a crime and avoid Seo Youngwoo’s gaze. He wasn’t confident enough to look at him properly, hiding his hatred and resentment. His unrefined feelings seemed like they would be revealed again.
…ter…
…por…Ha…
…porter…
“Reporter Ha!”
“…Ah.”
At the sound of Nam Hyunwoo’s voice calling him, Ha Joyoon blinked hastily. His blurred vision cleared and he was once again, brought back in the middle of his cold reality.
“Why were you so deep in thought? You completely blanked out there. Please sit.”
“…Okay. Thank you.”
Nam Hyun-woo smiled generously and led the man next to him who was blankly standing still, to an empty seat. Reporters who followed behind him began to sit down appropriately, and the five-pyeong conference room was immediately crowded with people.
Following this, they all exchanged greetings, introducing themselves to each other and creating a warm atmosphere. Only one person could not adapt and did not mingle with the rest. Although he sat down thanks to Nam Hyunwoo’s consideration, his pupils, which were empty, wandered away without being able to focus.
[It’s a pleasure to meet you. My name is Ed McKellen. You can just call me Ed.]
At the unusual language, Ha Joyoon suppressed his fatigue and calmly turned his head. Striking blonde hair, blue eyes and freckle covered cheeks. When he looked back in his memory, there wasn’t a particular name that came to mind. He was probably a resident reporter of another Asian country. With little energy, Ha Joyoon barely managed to greet him with courtesy.
[I’m Ha Joyoon.]
[I know. I’ve heard about you a few times. Do you work in Korea now? I’m a resident in Shanghai. By the way, do you remember Phillip?]
Surprised by the familiar name, his mouth fell open. Ha Joyoon quickly forgot that he was holding his breath until a while ago and turned his upper body toward the man who called himself Ed.
[Do you know Phillip? Where is he now?]
[He’s a long time friend. I was in Khan Yunis in Gaza Strip until recently, but I lost contact with him these days. He confirms his survival by sending pictures sometimes.]
The man winked one eye and leisurely asked for a handshake. Ha Joyoon’s expression while holding his hands still looked bewildered. The last time he met that person was such a long time ago, on the night of crossing the Greece border.
In the Mediterranean Sea, the most beautiful sea and most dangerous boundary for refugees, Philip Bauer was a reporter who took pictures of those who risked the rest of their lives to survive but lost their lives too easily, informing the world of their existence.
Suddenly, he remembered the last night with him. It was a rainy winter, and all they had were old blankets, bonfires, and poor-tasting cans of Red Bin, but the conversation they had all night remained clear and deep in his heart even years later. Emotions such as sadness, longing, and forgotten anger rose quietly again in his eyes as he recalled the past.
[Phillip talked about you alot. He showed me the pictures you took together. I thought your face looked familiar so I came over to talk and I was right.]
[We were together for a few months when I stayed in Greece.]
[He said you were a good reporter. It feels ridiculous that I didn’t know you even though we’re affiliated to the same company.]
[I was always curious about how he’s doing but I never knew I’d hear about him here…]
Ha Joyoon let out a laugh mixed with hurt, his words slurred at the end. The reality that had flowed by diligently with time had now recreated a new imprint. When he thought about how he could never know what would happen next in life, he wanted to spend each minute and second of it a little more valuably. A moment of unbearable shame flooded over him.
What in the world am I doing here?
“Oh, the Editor-in-chief and Director are here.”
A group of people entered the conference room, the closed door reopening with a small commotion. Behind the editor-in-chief who had a kindhearted impression, appeared another man with a distinct air to him dressed in a black suit.
The man who walked in with long strides, looked at Ha Joyoon for a while before quickly moving to find his seat. There was no lingering, no sorrowful eyes, and the extremely dull sound of his footsteps disappeared with him in an instant.
As the somewhat chaotic atmosphere quickly cleared up, a moment of silence for reorganization came. The other team leader, who had been leading the atmosphere until a while ago, brightened his face and reached a hand to Shin Kwonjoo for a handshake.
“I’m Lee Jongseon, team leader of the TnG Culture and Arts Planning team.”
“Shin Kwonjoo.”
He held the man’s hand briefly and sat down. At his signal, everyone began to quickly scan through the documents placed in front of them. Ha Joyoon also focused all his attention on them, trying to leave his nauseated mind behind. However, his effort was overshadowed by the fact that not even a consonant had entered into his cognitive circuit. His conscious effort not to see someone further shook his mind.
“First off, thank you for sparing your precious time to attend this meeting. I heard that reporters from other countries besides Korea were invited. We also prepared an interpreter, so please be more comfortable and please help in the sketch interview after the meeting.”
Several nodded in response to Lee Jongseon’s greeting. Ha Joyoon also tried to concentrate on the documents, shaking his head. Shin Kwonjoo simply glanced at the documents, rolled up his sleeves and gave instructions to the other party.
“Please briefly explain the intention, concept, and direction of the project.”
“Sure, we brought our own materials. Please look at the screen. Mr. Youngwoo, start it.”
“Briefly. Please only discuss the essentials.”
His eyes shone fiercely, almost digging, as he looked through the materials. The agency’s personnel hurriedly gestured toward Seo Youngwoo due to Shin Kwonjoo’s tense mood. Seo Youngwoo also reacted quickly and ran to the back of the meeting room, turned off the lights, and raised the pointer.
Click.
Along with the sound of a button being pressed down, came various tables and text with white shrouded surfaces through the beam projector. After checking the first slide, Lee Jongseon gestured at Seo Youngwoo once more.
After hesitating for a while, he soon walked out to the front without reserve. He looked bold and confident greeting people and introducing the company. From his strong and passionate ambience, he seemed like the exact opposite of Ha Joyoon in everything.
Even though he knew it was pointless, he was unwittingly reflecting on what made Seo Youngwoo different or better than himself. It was a self-consuming act. Painfully biting at his lips without realizing it, Ha Joyoon stared at Seo Youngwoo with difficulty.
“First of all, let me briefly explain the planning intentions of this photo exhibition.”
People’s attention was already focused on him as he spoke in a moderate tone. Soon after, he skillfully continued to explain the exhibition planning process and detailed schedule that they were preparing. Seo Youngwoo’s grammar, a mixture of sophisticated jokes and seriousness, made it easy to understand and accept the complex planning procedures. Even to Ha Joyoon who was ignorant of office work and only focused on photography, he seemed competent enough.
“This is a formation of our photo exhibition. I think it’d be a good idea to refer to it.”
Click- As the slide changed, the screen showed the photo exhibition of Waiton News Agency, which had recently finished exhibition. It was a structure in which museums were organized separately according to theme, and reporters were allotted museums to display photos. Among them, a sidewalk photo studio related to realism caught Ha Joyoon’s eye for a while, but he couldn’t concentrate. It wasn’t that person’s problem. It was just his own psychological problem.
Unhidden suffering was sprinkled over his pale face. The other person’s voice, breathing, and even his small gestures hurt.
With the pain continuing to gnaw at him without end, Ha Joyoon eventually buried his face in his palm, hiding his expressions away. He closed his eyes and blocked all his senses, not noticing another gaze looking at him.
